


Vanilla

by ScatteredRose



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Anal Sex, Family Drama, Frottage, Homophobia, Homophobic Language, M/M, Masturbation, Misunderstandings, Slow Build, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-26
Updated: 2018-02-18
Packaged: 2018-08-17 12:14:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 108,794
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8143637
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ScatteredRose/pseuds/ScatteredRose
Summary: Roxas was as vanilla as a person could be. His friends never let him live it down, but after one night of black out drunken behavior, the hapless blond may finally have to leave the dull life he's built around himself and (god forbid) spice it up for once.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> AN: So this was supposed to be a one-shot for AkuRoku day but I guess I’m just not capable of writing one-shots, apparently nor am I capable of publishing anything on time. Apologies for the long first chapter, I’m going to try not to make a habit of it but we’ll see. Also I've never posted here before so sorry if it looks wonky.  
> More notes at the end but they're boring and about me.

Bright, bright, everything was too bright and it sent a sharp, stabbing pain pounding Roxas’ head with each beat of his heart.

He awoke to dappled sunlight filtering into the room and straight onto his face from sheer curtains that barely did anything to cover the windows at all, which was… Odd. Because in _his_ room the curtains were thick enough to keep out the pesky morning sunlight and heavy enough to keep out the pesky chilly air, and in _his_ room the curtains matched the decor which was in truth a mish mash of themes but all tied together with a nice mix of blues and teals and colors that matched and complimented each other, which this place was... Just _not_.

To describe this place as a hideous eyesore was to be putting it mildly.

The walls were a light peach color but the furniture was all various shades of greens and browns, and the carpet looked like a relic from the seventies being the heinous shade of orange it was. There was an ancient TV sitting on a table across the room that it shared with the filthiest looking coffee maker the blond had ever seen, and on the table beside him was a lamp whose lampshade was cracked in several places. The bedding seemed to be the only normal thing there was in that jumbled mess of a room, looking and feeling just like any plain old white hotel bed sheets.

His problem didn’t lie in what this outlandish place looked like, however. His problem was that he had no clue how he got here. Feeling the arm he was laying on start to grow tingly from lack of blood flow, he turned over onto his other side and nearly had a heart attack.

Now instead of an ugly peach wall and a grubby coffee maker he was face to face with a complete stranger. Holding back the yelp of surprise that he could feel quickly trying to escape his lips, he tried to remember how the hell he ended up in bed with someone he didn’t recognize in the slightest. Luckily whatever choked noise did manage to escape him didn’t seem to wake the man at all, and the blond thanked his lucky stars because he didn’t know how he’d be able to explain it away without possibly sounding like an asshole.

Examining the sleeping man beside him, Roxas wracked his brain for even the smallest memory of how the hell he could have gotten himself here. The last thing he remembered was having a few drinks… Suddenly he felt an ice cold prick of fear run down his spine. Oh god. He couldn’t have actually _slept_ with this guy could he? It wasn’t entirely out of the question, he was in bed with another man, wearing only his boxers, but it just didn’t make sense.

Roxas was about as vanilla as a person could be. His friends teased him about it, his cousin teased him about it, hell even his own sister would tease him about it. It wasn’t as if he was entirely unaware that everything he did tended to be on the…. Tamer side of things.  It was just that this way was _safe_. This way was comfortable. So he didn’t really mind when people called him boring, and he was fine with not stepping out of his comfort zone.

He just felt so much more secure when everything in his life was in its proper place, and he couldn’t think of any reason why he would do something so rash. That was why he was definitely not someone who’d do something like sleeping with a complete stranger… At least he’d always thought so, until now.

Remaining completely still so as not to wake his newly discovered his bunkmate, he went from pondering the situation he was in to examining the person beside him. The pale face just a few inches from his was still relaxed with sleep, much to the frazzled blond’s relief. He still wasn’t sure what to say to him once he _did_ wake up. He looked to be around the same age as Roxas, perhaps maybe a couple years older, with the brightest red hair he’d seen in his entire life which even after having been slept on fluffed out in every direction like the mane of a lion. He really was quite handsome, if a little out of the ordinary. The strangest features, however, stranger than even the wild hair, were the little teardrop shaped tattoos that rested on each striking cheekbone.

 _‘Oh wonderful, I fucked a gang member.’_ Roxas would have kicked himself if he could’ve without waking the probable mafioso he was sharing his bed with. That didn’t matter though because it seemed said probable mafioso was doing a fine job waking up on his own now, brow furrowing at the sun streaming in on them from the thoroughly ineffective curtains.

He felt like panicking, heart thudding loudly and wildly in his chest as if by some chance it could maybe escape the uncomfortable situation. He had been awake long enough to think of something to say by now and he’d spent it sizing the guy up instead? The stranger grunted, bringing a large hand to groggily rub his face and Roxas felt himself jolt back as far as he could without falling off the bed and creating a new problem entirely. Wouldn’t want to finish the job and break the lamp on the end table completely.

Unfortunately this sudden movement seemed to be the straw that broke the camel’s back in terms of waking the sleeping stranger, because now two sharp green eyes blinked open holding almost just as much surprise as Roxas felt. He couldn’t think of even one thing to say to break the ice, which seemed fine since the redheaded man seemed too busy trying to determine the situation himself.

“Well shit.” Was the first thing to come out of the man’s mouth, followed by, “This is kinda’ weird.” Whether it be from hysterics or a simple inability to grasp the absurdity of the situation, Roxas felt a mad giggle bubble up and escape his lips. That made the redheaded man chuckle as well, which helped to ease the tension, _thank god_. Once he’d recovered from his fit as best he could, the blond cleared his throat and attempted to speak.

“Do you uh- know how we got here?” He scratched the back of his neck nervously. “I don’t um… Really remember. I think I probably had a lot to drink so…” He felt his face heat up in embarrassment and prayed it wasn’t too noticeable. A spark of something akin to realization flickered in those green, green eyes.

“Oh shit yeah…. This probably looks really bad, huh?” That seemed to wake his companion up a little more as he sat up and ran long fingers through cherry red hair. The cocoon of blankets the man had previously been huddled up under fell away revealing that he was still somewhat dressed in a beater and a pair of tight, faded jeans. The blond managed to hold in his sigh of relief but that probably answered one question then.

‘ _At least we probably didn’t sleep together_ …’

“It’s not what it looks like.” The redhead continued, apparently not noticing Roxas’ immediate relaxation at the revelation that at least one of them was dressed. “See I was out drinking with some friends but they bailed on me and then I noticed you....” He paused trying to gauge the other male’s reaction. “Anyway,” he progressed, “It had gotten pretty late and it seemed like you’d had an awful lot to drink so I went to see if you could get home alright and well, you were so plastered you weren’t going anywhere on your own anytime soon.”

Roxas remembered going to the bar and he remembered going alone, something out of the ordinary for him considering he almost never drank. And when he remembered _why_ he went he felt like maybe he was going to be sick. Granted the splitting headache definitely wasn’t helping that. But that didn’t stop carrot top from finishing his explanation. Or… Tomato top he supposed would be more accurate due to just how _red_ that hair was.

“I wasn’t really sure if you were even legal or not since that bar is pretty lax when it comes to carding so I figured maybe I should help you out. You couldn’t even type your own text messages so I did it for you. I lied and said I was your friend just in case you _were_ underrage and maybe being picked up by a total stranger would land you in hot water, and asked around for any names or numbers of people I could drop you with. But since it was that early in the morning I never got any replies.” Another offhanded shrug, as if it was nothing, though this time he did notice the look on Roxas’ face, a raised eyebrow and a look of incredulity.

He paused for a bit but when the blond said nothing he just went on with his story. “Anyway so after going around in circles for like forever…” The red haired man stopped for a moment, apparently thinking about whether or not to add something to his tale. “Uh so nobody answered any of the texts or calls and I couldn’t really drive since I’d imbibed some too and I couldn’t afford _two_ cab fares and I couldn’t understand where you were saying it was you lived so we both ended up crashing here.” He nodded a bit to himself, seemingly satisfied with his retelling of things. “But um nothing happened if that’s what you’re afraid of.” He hastily added. “I was a perfect gentleman, scouts honor.”

Between the wave of relief he felt at finding out for certain that no, he hadn’t hooked up with a complete stranger, and the man’s clumsy explanation, Roxas began laughing again, falling back on the soft hotel bed and letting the feeling overcome him. He supposed he probably shouldn’t have jumped to such panicked conclusions so easily, after all one would most definitely be able to tell if they’d slept with someone the night before. Still it felt good to have such fears assuaged completely. Sitting up again so as to face the now very confused man, he felt comfortable enough to ask his own questions now.

“So uh… Thanks for helping me um-”

“Axel.” The red headed man answered with a lopsided grin, extending a hand cordially even though the blond was still sitting in bed right beside him. “And I already know your name,” he continued as the young man accepted the hand, “unless Roxas is drunk for something else.”

Roxas rolled his eyes, drawing his knees up to his chest. “No, that’s right. And I am legal by the way so don’t worry... I’m twenty five.” Geez did he really look that young? “So Axel… What _else_ did I tell you?” The problem with living such a dull life was that he rarely ever drank, and when he did he was never quite sure how the alcohol would affect him. Axel shrugged again, not quite meeting Roxas’ eye.

“You didn’t spill your guts to me if that’s what you’re worried about. All I managed to catch was that you were upset with someone named Hayner.” He turned his head to look at Roxas, sharp viridian eyes searching him for… Something.

Hearing Hayner’s name sent another wave of nausea crashing through Roxas’ stomach as he suddenly remembered exactly what put him at that bar and exactly what had him ordering scotch after scotch until he could no longer feel the sting anymore. Until he could no longer feel a damn thing anymore.

Up until that day he would have said that he was comfortable, that there was nothing needing changing in his life. There was no reason for him to act out on his emotions or do anything rash.

At least this was his philosophy before his best friend Hayner decided go and selfishly turn Roxas’ whole world on its head and announce his marriage of all things. Now of course it wasn’t Hayner’s fault that this shattered the perfect, dull little life Roxas had made for himself, and truly he wasn’t being very selfish at all.

After all, one should be allowed to date and marry at his or her own pace, and how was Hayner to know that over their many years of friendship Roxas had begun to develop certain feelings… Feelings that caused time with his best friend to be absolute torture. Feelings that had his heart beating like a heavy metal drum solo and dried his mouth like the Sahara desert.

So for the first time in his life he felt like being rash, letting out all the anger and sadness and hurt before he would say something he’d regret. Only now maybe he had, to a complete stranger, all because he decided to get snockered instead of handling his feelings appropriately.

“You gonna be sick? You did drink a lot…” Axel trailed off, perhaps thinking again since he sure seemed to be keeping a lot of his thoughts to himself, Roxas observed sourly. “The bathroom is that way,” He gestured lazily to his right. “ You should probably have some water anyway so your hangover doesn’t get any worse.” Such thoughtfulness was nice, Roxas supposed. 

He shook his head. “I’m fine it’s just a headache…” Throwing his feet over the side of the bed and clumsily gripping the bedside table to steady himself, the blond began shuffling around the room in search of the belongings he’d had with him the night before. It didn’t take long to find his shirt and pants wadded in a pile on the floor, wallet and phone placed neatly on top. Opening his wallet he did a quick inventory of its contents, finding nothing out of place.

Though if this weirdo had planned on robbing him he probably wouldn’t have stayed. Suddenly feeling rather rude, he turned to find Axel up and stretching, apparently taking no offense to the fact that the blond was checking to see if all his things were as they should be. 

“D’ya suppose a place like this has room service?” The redhead asked, poking around the unsightly room himself now. 

“You mean you’ve never been to this hotel before?” Roxas blanched. Not only did he wake up in bed with a stranger, but it appeared neither of them really knew much about where they were. The other man laughed. “Hey I was drunk too okay, just not as drunk as you were.” He fiddled with a rather large, rather obvious hole in one of the armchairs, the upholstery foam clearly visible in several places. “I just picked the first place I could find, it just turns out it wasn’t the most… High end.” He then set his sights on the coffee maker, making a disgusted noise. “Think of it as…. An adventure!” He smiled, putting the coffee maker to the side and turning his attention toward the fossil of a television set. 

“I don’t really do adventure.” The blond responded flatly, pulling his shirt from his pile of belongings and carefully buttoning it. Now that the redhead, Axel, was up and fiddling with every decrepit amenity he could get his hands on, Roxas could see just how tall he was. Damn.... He had to be nearly a foot taller than he was.

“Well,” Axel began, waltzing over to Roxas with those long legs of his. “You were pretty adventurous last night. Maybe you just have to start!” A big hand clapped him on the back as the smaller man sent a glare his way.

“The most adventurous I’m getting today is eating whatever questionable shit they serve for breakfast here.” He answered dryly, arms folded, which for some reason seemed to please Axel. Returning to his exploration he did indeed find the beaten up piece of laminated cardboard which constituted as a room service menu. Making a flying leap back onto the double bed he began reciting what offerings were listed on the worn menu. Once he’d finished getting dressed and shoved his phone and wallet back into his pockets, Roxas gingerly sat beside the eccentric man, listening silently as he listed off various food items. 

“I’d kill for some pancakes, you s’pose they’d be able to make decent pancakes here?” Axel tapped his chin in deliberation. “What about you? You looked pretty green there for a while, think you can hold anything down?”

A little surprised at receiving so much consideration from a stranger, though at this point they probably were leaving stranger territory and hedging on ‘acquaintance’, Roxas nodded dumbly.

“Great!” Axel was smiling brightly and Roxas thought for the second time that morning that maybe he was a little handsome. Reaching over for the phone that looked to be in just as bad if not worse shape than the coffee maker and the lamp, the lanky redhead began dialing.

For some reason having breakfast (crappy questionable breakfast) with Axel was the most fun Roxas had had in a long time, and only every once in awhile did he remember that he was supposed to be crushed and heartbroken. And he still was, that every once in awhile when he remembered Hayner, remembered how happy he looked when he told his best friend the good news, he could feel his heart turn to ice and sink like the goddamn Titanic. But for some reason reminders of Hayner were few and far between, what with the dynamic redhead he was sharing breakfast with never shutting up.

And the talkativeness wasn’t annoying to Roxas so much as endearing, especially with all the strange tales Axel went on to tell.

“When I was growing up my little sister, my older brother and I would always have these contests to see who could do things faster, meaning we’d also try and see who could finish their food faster.” The redhead snorted, picking at a pancake. “Made our parents furious because more than once one of us seriously choked. You’d think being heimliched would turn you off contests like that but we were the competitive types.” For some reason this was completely believable to Roxas, who laughed and rolled his eyes.

“Not the brightest kid, were you?” He snorted. Axel brushed it off in good humor.

“Nah. Some would probably argue I’m still not the brightest, what with me sharing a hotel room with someone I’d only had like… Three drunken conversations with, but that worked out pretty well, I think.” There was that smile again, ridiculously wide and a tad mischievous. Roxas certainly couldn’t deny it was an alluring smile. “We also had contests to see who could climb higher in the tree in our backyard, and one time my sister definitely won, but she got stuck. Fire department had to come and get her down and she was so embarrassed she wouldn’t talk to me for three whole days.” He laughed, shaking his head and sending mussed red spikes of hair bouncing. “You got any siblings?” The shorter man nodded. 

“A sister, though we were never competitive as kids. Not like you and your sister.” He smiled around his glass of orange juice. “She was always a social butterfly, but I’ve never been that way. She gives me a hard time… Says I need to spice up my life or I’ll end up sad and alone until the day I die..” He rolled his eyes and Axel laughed, giving him a nudge with his elbow.

“I don’t know, I think you might have a story for her now to get her off your back.” Axel joked. “The only thing that could have made this little experience spicier is if we _had_ actually fucked.” Roxas choked, feeling orange juice go up his nose at the taller man’s suggestion. This seemed to panic Axel who reached over to give the blond’s back a few good, hard smacks. Gasping for air and hoping to god that Axel would think the redness in his face was merely from lack of oxygen, he sent the man an icy glare. That only made him chuckle, putting up both hands in mock surrender. “Sorry, sorry, I didn’t mean anything by it, I was just saying…” He didn’t specify _what_ he was saying, just returned to the task of finishing his lumpy pancakes. The rest of breakfast was quiet, though not really uncomfortably so. Nothing with Axel had been really _uncomfortable_ once they’d been able wake up a little and actually talk.

Putting what he was unable to finish to the side, hangover placated but still not entirely willing to give up the ghost, he took out his phone to check for any messages he might have gotten while he was passed out.

There were four from Namine, being the worrywart she was Roxas was surprised she hadn’t sent any more.

Two from Sora, one from Xion, one from Pence and one from… Hayner.

Head snapping up to look back to Axel who was flicking rubbery eggs around with his fork. His voice ended up coming out far harsher than he intended. “Who did you message last night?” He barked. Axel raised an eyebrow but answered calmly as ever.

“I asked you who I should message for you and I only texted the people you mentioned.” He began picking at a hangnail somewhat nervously. “I gave them my name too, remember, so if there’s any trouble you could probably have them message me. I wasn’t as out of it as you were.”

This was perfect. Drunk Roxas had given this weirdo express instructions to text his little sister, his cousin, his best friend, and Hayner for some god forsaken reason. Hayner, the very reason he drank himself stupid, had been texted by this guy as per Roxas’ command. “I told you these were the people to text?” The redhead merely nodded in response. That did nothing to calm Roxas, rather it only rattled his nerves all the more. Bringing himself to his feet so abruptly this time made both his head and stomach voice their complaints, he began to furiously pace the ugly orange carpet. His hangover was not liking this one bit but he needed to pace, goddamn it. Axel was starting to look a little alarmed, shoving his tray of half-eaten room service to the side so as to awkwardly tumble off the bed and follow the smaller man around. Not that the room was big enough to do very good pacing or pursuing.

“I can tell them whatever you want, you know, it doesn’t necessarily have to be the truth.” Roxas stopped mid-pace, sending Axel, who had been attempting to follow, crashing clumsily into his back. Turning to face his pursuer, he had to crank his neck quite a bit just to meet those green, green eyes.

“It doesn’t matter what you tell them or I tell them.” Roxas groaned, tangling fingers in messy golden hair. “I don’t _get_ drunk. I don’t even go out!” The blond was beginning to pace again, looking even more uncomfortable than before. “If they know I got drunk…. If they find out about this…” He gestured to his surroundings, arms flailing wildly. “Then they’ll know I lost it, and if they know I lost it they they’ll find out _why_ I lost it and everything will be ruined.” The tone of his voice went from one of distress to one of anguish in mere seconds. In an attempt to stop the smaller male’s impending mental breakdown, Axel cleared his throat, gingerly putting a hand on Roxas’ shoulder to stop his pacing.

“Listen, we went to that bar together, got it? We got wasted together.” That seemed like the most reasonable thing to tell Roxas’ friends, and it certainly sounded less suspicious that what actually happened. The suggestion seemed to throw the blond for a loop, blue eyes widening in surprise, but Axel continued, not about to hear any protests until he was finished, “You never drink, right? So we can say you couldn’t hold your liquor and I had to pick up the pieces, being the wonderful friend I am.”  The redhead pursed his lips in thought before going on. “Give me your phone for a sec?”

Roxas raised a suspicious eyebrow. “What do you need my phone for?” He demanded, still a little unsure about the story he’d have to weave all because of one lousy night.

“Because if you don’t have my number how am I going to save you if you drink yourself stupid again.” He responded snidely, a smirk sneaking its way onto his face. “And if you need me to corroborate whatever story we come up with how are you gonna’ get a hold of me? I don’t live at that bar you know.” Shit, he had a point. “Plus you seemed pretty bummed about something last night and I do happen to be an excellent listener.” Roxas heaved a long, heavy sigh. This guy was a pain in the ass, but he was a charming pain in the ass. Swatting Axel’s hand away, he grabbed his phone and offered it to the man. “Here. Put your number in but _don’t_ snoop _._ ” He shot the redhead the most scathing glare he could muster. “You got a cell?”

“You think I’m a goddamn cave man? ‘Course I got a cell.” Waltzing across the room with those long, long, too long legs of his Axel began rummaging through what must have been his things and pulled out the sorriest looking phone the blond had ever seen. It would have been pretty nice considering the model had the screen not been shattered and the back not been scuffed up quite a bit. “Oh come on, come on, come on… Turn on damn you!”  The redhead was grumbling and tapping his fingers impatiently on the table beside him, waiting for the poor damaged cell phone to power on. The scene was enough to actually turn Roxas’ mood around, if only a bit, due to the sheer ridiculousness of it all.

Roxas chuckled. “Leave the poor thing alone. The fact that it even _can_ turn on after all you put it through is a miracle.” The blond’s comment caused Axel to redden slightly, but his shoulders seemed to relax now that the shorter of the two wasn’t glaring daggers at him. When the device finally began doing something he let out a sigh of relief.

“It’s fickle.” He explained sheepishly. Roxas waved it off, taking the device from Axel and typing in his contact information as best he could. Axel’s phone was a complete disaster, but somehow he managed.

“You really need to get a new phone….” He snorted. “I don’t know how you can see shit on this thing.” With a roll of those green, green, beautiful green eyes Axel merely shrugged. He seemed to do that a lot, Roxas supposed he was just the warm congenial type.

“I can see the screen well enough so that’s all that matters.” He seemed to take Roxas’ dry sensibilities in stride as well, flashing him that exquisite smile and handing him his phone back. “Okay, all set. You can feel free to sic any of the people I texted for you on me and I’ll explain to them it was all my fault. I’m a _terrible_ influence.” He winked playfully which caused Roxas’ stomach to do a flip and Roxas himself to curse the universe for sticking him with this idiotic attractive redhead when he was _supposed_ to be mending a broken heart.

He snorted, pretending like that stupid wink hadn’t affected him. “Yeah well you say that now, my sister can be pretty scary when she’s giving you a piece of her mind.” Namine was very protective and certainly didn’t mince words. Considering all the messages she’d left she would probably have a _lot_ to say about this. That didn’t seem to bother Axel however, still smiling as he began redressing himself in the flannel shirt he’d apparently thrown over one of the sinfully ugly armchairs.

“I think I could probably take it.” He grinned, plopping himself on the double bed again and fixing those vivid eyes back on Roxas. “Having a sister of your own gets you used to that kind of thing. I’m twenty seven years old for god’s sake but she nags me more than our mother does.” He laughed, shaking his head. “I suppose it’s a good thing though, having family that cares enough to get on your nerves. Makes up for the family that doesn’t care at all.” It made the blond want to ask what he meant by such a remark, but before he could say anything the phone in his hand started ringing shrilly, causing both men to jump a bit.

“I should probably take this.” Roxas sighed, his companion merely nodding and gesturing toward the tiny bathroom.

“Take your time, check out isn’t for-” He checked his own busted up cell phone. “Another hour anyway. Gee for someone with a hangover you woke us up early!” The blond only sneered at him before retreating to the minuscule bathroom. Unsurprisingly, it was just as dirty and broken as the rest of the hotel room, with spots of mold forming on the walls.

Checking the caller ID he grumbled, swiping to answer the shrieking phone. It was his sister and he probably had a lot of explaining to do. “Hey Nam-

“Roxas where are you, are you okay?” There was a hint of panic in her voice. He’d expected this call at some point, knowing his sister, but apparently she hadn’t wasted any time. “Did you find somewhere to stay last night? Do you need me to pick you up? Are you alright Roxas this isn’t like you, and who is Axel?”

Nibbling at furiously at his lower lip Roxas took the barrage of questions in stride, making note of each and trying his best to think of the best possible answers. He sort of wished Axel was here to help him think of a good story… From what he knew of him so far, the redhead always seemed one step ahead. “Calm down, Nami, I can only answer one question at a time.” He laughed nervously, but he could here his sister’s impatient huff over the phone.

“Roxas, where are you? I woke up this morning with a text from some guy I’ve never even heard of asking if I could come pick you up at a bar downtown! Since when do you go to bars?” Her voice had gone almost shrill by the end of it and Roxas felt absolutely terrible for making his little sister worry.

“I’m uh-” Shit he still didn’t know exactly where he was, just that it was the worst hotel in the world. “At a hotel right now.”

“A _hotel?”_ That answer didn’t seem to sit right with Namine at all, who balked at the idea immediately. “Roxas I love you and I’m not about to judge-”

It seemed like she was jumping to the logical, yet entirely wrong conclusion, and Roxas had to put the kibosh on that _quick._ “Oh god no Nami it’s not like that!” He heard a relieved puff of air from the other line. “See I was having a really shitty day so me and a buddy of mine decided to go out to let off some steam and I guess we had a little too much to drink.” The lie flowed more smoothly than he thought it would and it filled him with confidence. That story Axel had come up with was actually really good!

“This buddy being the Axel that texted me at three in the morning?” It seemed like Namine still wasn’t completely buying it.

“Yeah. He’s a really good guy-” This Roxas was guessing from their breakfast together and conversations following, but it seemed like a decent guess. No complete jerk would take express time out of his night to text not one, not two, but five of Roxas’ contacts to see him home. Which sure, didn’t work out, but he did try. “He was drunk too so he couldn’t take me anywhere. In the end I guess he found _somewhere_ for us.” He chuckled softly.

“Uh huh.” His sister’s voice was still laden with disbelief. There was a pause, before she simply added. “You should introduce him sometime then. I wasn’t aware you had such reliable friends I didn’t even know about.” Something about the way she said it made it seem like she still didn’t think he was telling the entire truth, but he was relieved she wasn’t prying.

“Sure thing, Nam, you know how busy I’ve been what with the Internship and school.” He looked at himself in the cracked mirror and suppressed a shudder. He looked like the living dead, with circles under his eyes so dark it was as if that was where life had decided to punch him. Not to mention his hair was going every which way and he wasn’t sure how Axel wasn’t laughing his ass off every time he caught sight of him.

“Rox, you need to get out sometimes too.” Namine sounded calm now, loving and concerned like she always did when she tried to give him advice. “Even though it sounds like you had kind of a crazy night…. I’m glad.” He could almost hear that demure smile in her voice. “I was so worried you’d gotten yourself into some mess or gotten yourself hurt somehow, but maybe you’re just having the adventure you needed. As long as you’re safe…” She trailed off.

“Who said I needed any adventure?” Roxas griped, trying very hard to forget how fun his terrible breakfast Axel was. Namine only hummed her response as he continued, “This was just a one time thing, make no mistake I-” Flustered he really didn’t know what to say. He was trying to forget how much fun it could be to be in a new place, with a new person… With Axel… Because he didn’t need that, he had all the friends he needed and he had his habitual haunts and they were enough…. They _were_ enough, so why then…?

“Well, it sounds like maybe you’ve found a good person to rebel with, so thank Axel for me. I wasn’t kidding about bringing him by sometime though. I can’t believe you’re keeping secrets from me.” And now he could hear that demure smile of her’s turn sly, which only served to fluster and infuriate him more. “Well my lunch break will be over pretty soon, I just wanted to make sure my favorite brother was okay.”

Roxas rolled his eyes. “I’m your only brother.” He replied dryly.

“Then you should be even more glad you’re my favorite.” She chirped. “If you were my only sibling in the entire world and you weren’t my favorite, I bet you’d feel pretty bad.”

“Or I’d be relieved to finally have you off my back for once.” Roxas retorted sardonically. But as annoyed as Namine made him, he could always tell everything she did, as irritating as it may be, was out of care for him.

“You say that now. I think you’d miss me if I wasn’t harping on you all the time.” Over the speaker he could hear shuffling, then a sigh. “Now I _really_ need to go if I want to finish this bagel before lunch break ends. Talk to you later okay?” Roxas affirmed that, yes, he’d call his sister later, and with a click the line was dead. Grumbling, the blond began finally looking through the text messages he’d received that morning. As he slept next to someone he didn’t even _know…._

The tiny little bathroom hardly had enough room to pace but Roxas wasn’t about to let a little thing like _space_ stop him. Walking around the room in little circles he could feel himself growing more and more distressed as he read message after message.

_From Namine:_

_Roxas where are you_

_Are you alright?_

_Who’s Axel?_ _  
_ _Call me!_

 

_From Sora:_

_Where are you?_

_Who is Axel?_

 

 _From Xion:_ _  
_ _Holy shit are you ok? Who the hell is Axel?_

 

_From Pence:_

_Rox did you make it home alright? Who’s Axel?_

 

_From Hayner:_

_Who is Axel? Are you home yet?_

 It seemed like every single message was about the obnoxious red head in the next room over, and Roxas didn’t know how to answer any of them. They’d concocted a solid enough story but what if he ended up forgetting it? What if his sister or his cousin or…. God forbid Hayner found out he’d gone out and gotten plastered alone? If Hayner found out about this what else would he find out about? 

_“I can always count on you Roxas.”_

_“At least one of us can keep their cool.”_

Roxas had spent so long learning to control and hide how he felt about his friend. There were times when the agony of stuffing it all inside was almost too painful, but he had endured it because above all else he didn’t want to lose Hayner as a friend. But if Hayner somehow found out, after all the hiding, after all the suffering…. He could feel his breathing start becoming irregular, the walls of the small decrepit bathroom closing in as his heart started pounding erratically in his chest. Tears burned his eyes as he sunk to the floor, gripping his phone with such force he was surprised it didn’t explode into bits right there in his hands. He couldn’t stand to lose Hayner, and yet he was going to lose him no matter what because he was getting married now and he would be starting a new life with someone else. Someone that wasn’t him.

A soft knock on the bathroom door nearly caused the blond to jump out of his skin. “Sorry to interrupt… Whatever you’re doing, but we have to check out pretty soon.” It was Axel. Stupid to forget the redhead was right in the other room.

His breathing was ragged and he could feel tears threatening to overflow. He wasn’t sure he could really form an answer, not when he could barely even _breathe_ , so instead he used the counter to hoist himself up onto unsteady feet, and left the bathroom. He was starting to feel like he was about to die, but he’d rather do it in one of the unsightly chairs or on the double bed that was decent at best then on this dirty bathroom floor.. He was only twenty five, could people have heart attacks and die at twenty five? But with the way his heart was beating he felt that surely this was it. All because he decided to go out and try to numb his feelings with alcohol.

Staggering out of the bathroom and back into the main room, he missed the look on Axel’s face, one of surprise and then alarm. He missed the puke colored chair and he almost missed the bed, collapsing and clutching his chest, breathing so uneven now he was seeing stars.

“Jesus Christ man what happened in there?” Roxas just shook his head in response. He didn’t feel he’d be able to answer, and even if he could he didn’t want to explain what had led up to whatever this was.

That would open a new can of worms, one he wasn’t sure he wanted anyone knowing about, much less someone he barely knew..

A large warm hand took hold of his wrist and the blond’s head snapped up in surprise. The redhead seemed to have lost all sense of personal space. “Relax, I’m not going to bite.” Pausing Axel decided to explain, pressing two fingers to the blond’s pulse. “I work as an EMT, part time.” Disregarding whatever sarcastic thing Roxas had to say about this revelation the redhead knelt in front of Roxas, still holding his wrist and from the looks of it silently counting. Meeting Roxas’ eyes again he seemed to be thinking. “You’re hyperventilating, you need to not do that or you’re going to pass out. Cup your your hands together like this and breathe through them, basically like you’d do with a brown paper bag.” He attempted to illustrate what he meant by cupping his hands together and breathing slowly through the space left after one thumb curled around the other.

Attempting to replicate the technique Axel had shown him, Roxas cupped his hands together and attempt to control his breathing through his hands. “Your heart rate is elevated but I’m pretty sure it’s nothing to worry about since that happens to a lot of people when they have panic attacks.”

Pulling his hands away from his mouth Roxas’ balked at the diagnosis. “A _panic attack_ ? That’s all this is? A _panic attack_?” The redhead smiled gently and nodded. “And you’re a fucking EMT?”

 Axel shrugged. “Part time. Good news is you’ll be fine. The symptoms can get pretty gnarly so we get calls for ‘em every once in awhile. Bad news is that it’ll have to go away on its own.” He shot the blond a stern look. “Actually breathing how I told you to breathe would help.” Glaring, Roxas resumed breathing through his hands as Axel took a seat beside him on the bed. It was actually helping, to Axel’s credit. Being able to breathe was helping calm his pounding heart, and pretty soon he was feeling mostly back to normal. Drawing his knees to his chest, he wrapped his arms around them and clasped his fingers.

“Thanks…. For that.” He mumbled, staring blankly at some mystery stain on his pants. “That’s… Never happened to me before. I must really be losing it.” He had become so dependent on the way he’d been able to live his life up until that point that that when a wrench was thrown in he completely crumbled. Now that he thought of it, that probably wasn’t the healthiest way to live in the first place, and it was probably a miracle that nothing like this has happened up until now. He could feel a warm hand gingerly placed on his back, rubbing gentle circles. It startled him, but he didn’t find it unwelcome per se…. Just unexpected. Though that in and of itself frustrated him and made him want to give himself a talking to.

“Pretty lucky I was already here.” Axel mused, still not looking at Roxas but not yet withdrawing that comforting hand. “I’m not going to pry, seeing as we don’t know each other all that well, but it seems to me like you’re pretty stressed…”

Roxas snorted. “Is that your medical opinion?” The redhead just shrugged a shoulder. The look of professionalism on his face was replaced with a small smile.

“Nah, I’m just pretty good at reading people.” He replied, withdrawing the warm, soothing hand he took Roxas’ wrist again, checking his pulse for the second time. Looking satisfied with the result, he stood and offered the blond a hand. “Your heart rate’s back to normal now which means we should probably head out.” Turning to glance at the analog clock on the end table he sighed. “We’ve passed check out time by a little bit but it’s fine. I bet if we beg and throw a fit they’ll let it slide. No one wants to do more work than they have to.” Taking the offered hand, the shorter male let his companion help him to his feet, still feeling a little unsteady. It didn’t take them long to gather the rest of their belongings and make their way down to the lobby, Axel having already seemingly gotten most of his things together while Roxas was on the phone with Namine, and Roxas only really needing to recover his shoes.

The desk clerk, a woman appearing to be in her mid thirties, looked up from the crossword puzzle she was doing with a look of disinterest on her face. Roxas noted that the lobby itself was rather small and nearly as tacky looking as their room. This confirmed that this certainly was no upscale venue.

“Hello welcome to the Twilight Historic how may I help you?” She sounded as bored as she looked, cracking and popping the gum in her mouth. It seemed she was the only staff member in sight.

Axel cracked the most alluring smile he could muster. Even Roxas, cynical as he was, was sure he’d be won over by a smile like that, all big and bright and slightly crooked. “We're just here to check out.”

The clerk's expression didn't change one bit. “Check out is at noon so you’re gonna have to pay a fee-”

It appeared the redhead was still trying his hand at charming the woman into submission, leaning his elbow casually on the counter which Roxas thought looked kind of stupid considering how tall he was and that he was having to bend down to do so. “We know! God, the funniest thing happened. So on our way here the elevator got stuck and I _told_ Roxas, Roxas didn’t I tell you? I told Roxas we’d be late.” He nodded to the blond who at that point was examining a crack in the tile floor.

He looked up first at Axel, then at the thoroughly unconvinced woman now tapping her pen impatiently on the desk. “You sure did Axel.” He deadpanned, not at all thrilled to be dragged into this. If Axel wanted to try and weasel out of a fee fine, but why make him an accomplice?

“You’re still late.” She responded blandly, blowing a bubble in Axel’s face. Popping it, she added. “Still gotta pay the fee.”

This seemed to slightly phase Axel, but didn’t throw him off his game entirely. “True, but we aren’t even a half hour late. I’m sure you could give us just a little leeway.” His voice was as sweet as honey, but even that didn’t seem to snare his target.

Putting down both her crossword and pen, the desk clerk leaned forward a bit now. Anyone on the outside could see that she had not taken the bait and things were not working in Axel’s favor, but he seemed to take this as a promising sign. _‘Idiot.’_

“Still late.” She replied shortly causing the redhead’s smile to falter. He seemed to have just now taken the hint that this wasn’t working, and probably wouldn’t be any time soon. Quashing the urge to roll his eyes, Roxas stepped forward now, shoving Axel to the side with his elbow.

“May we speak to the manager? We would like to file a complaint.” He could feel Axel looking at him questioningly and he gave him another jab. _‘Don’t you know how to play along, you idiot?’_ However now a speck of comprehension shown in those dazzling eyes, and the blond felt a little more confident that he wasn’t going to say something stupid and ruin his plan.

Heaving a long, pronounced sigh the desk clerk picked up her phone and dialed. “Hey boss, can I get you down at the front desk? Nah nothin’ major just some folks tryin’ to file a complaint.” She paused, listening to whoever it was on the other end with the same stone faced look she’d had during the entire exchange. “Yeah but they specifically asked for you so-” This time her brows furrowed as she listened to the person on the other line, before hanging up. Hanging up by smashing the phone back in its cradle. “He’ll be right down.” She explained flatly.

Smiling acerbically, Roxas replied. “I’d appreciate that.” Now a new figure clomped over, appearing from somewhere behind the desk clerk.

A sort of stout, middle aged looking man wearing a worn suit regarded them skeptically. “Hello I’m the manager here at the Twilight Historic, is there something I can help you with?” He smiled a big fake smile, obviously not pleased with having been called to handle such a situation but still trying to look welcoming.

Leaning forward and placing both forearms on the service desk, Roxas spoke in a firm, low voice. “I’ve noticed several health code violations in our room alone. Now, I didn’t feel inclined to report them and in effect close your establishment for the time the Department of Health investigates this place top to bottom… Until your desk clerk informed us we would be billed for not checking out on time. This of course being due to _your_ faulty elevators, you remember those don’t you Axel?”

He turned his head to look at his companion who was grinning ear to ear now. “Sure do Roxas.” The redhead responded, only a _hint_ of cheekiness to his tone, which it seemed, knowing Axel, was as good as they were going to get.

Returning his attention entirely to the manager he progressed. “I’ll still be willing to let these infarctions slide, provided we aren’t billed for something that is, in effect your fault.” The Manager seemed to be visibly uncomfortable at this point, shifting his weight uneasily as he listened to the blond’s calmly delivered threats, and the desk clerk had backed away into another room entirely.

“Well th-that seems entirely reasonable…” The portly man was awkwardly scratching the back of his neck as ocean blue eyes pinned him to the very spot he stood. “What say we overlook that late fee then eh?” He licked his lips nervously, waiting for Roxas’ response.

Pulling back from the counter he folded his arms, pretending to think. “Alright. Fair enough. Though I will be keeping track of the charges made to my card, so if things don’t look right-”

Interrupting the blond before he could continue being a menace, the manager replied. “Certainly not, we’re a business of upstanding morals.” The look on the younger man’s face plainly said that he very sincerely doubted that, but he began digging for his card anyway.

“Hey wait I was gonna pay!” Looking up he could see Axel reaching over in an attempt to stop the transaction. Thank god he had been quiet up until now, Roxas had been sure the redhead would completely blow it by saying something that one of the hotel employees could run with.

Roxas shook his head, offering his companion a small smile. “It’s my fault the two of us are here, right? You were just sticking your neck out for me. I should be the one to pay.” He handed the manager his card, noting how melancholy those words sounded, though he wasn’t sure why.

Axel seemed to notice the bitterness in the way Roxas said this. “No one had a gun to my head, damn it. I didn’t do it because I had to, I-” He cut himself off. They were still in the public eye, and it seemed even he was aware he was making a scene. “I just did it because I wanted to okay.” He finished lamely.

Roxas blinked, taken aback by the taller man’s comment. The outburst was unexpected to say the least, and a stark contrast to the suave way he’d been trying to speak to the desk clerk. _‘Not that any man on earth has a chance of cracking_ that. _’_ he mused. Still, it definitely peaked his curiosity. What a weird guy... The hotel manager offered his card back and he took it, noticing the extensive number of rings on the hairy knuckled hand. He definitely wouldn’t be returning to this hotel any time soon. Putting it back in his wallet he motioned the redhead to follow him out of the lobby.

Once they were standing on the sidewalk in front of the building under a rather sad looking awning, he decided to break the silence. “So,” He began, feeling nervousness begin welling in the pit of his stomach without knowing really why, “If you’re that desperate to pay for something…” He couldn’t believe he was doing this, but this guy was good conversation, and he desperately, desperately needed someone to talk to right now apparently. Otherwise he’d just end up getting wasted again and maybe not landing himself in the company of someone so… Decent. And he did have a feeling there was more to last night than the redhead was telling him. “Maybe you can buy me coffee? You have my number and I have yours.”

Smiling that damn attractive smile again, Axel nodded. “Alright. I think a coffee date will be sufficient in nursing my wounded pride.” Roxas wondered if the redhead was purposefully turning on the charm or if it he just oozed it unconsciously.

Roxas put a hand up to stop the redhead. “Not a date.” He asserted. Whether he was trying to convince Axel of this or himself he didn’t know. “Just coffee and conversation with a friend. You can handle that much, right?” He raised an inquiring eyebrow but Axel didn’t seem phased.

“Fine fine, friendly coffee then.” He waved a hand in indifference. “Call me whenever you want me to lavish you in the gift of caffeine. Or y’know whenever you feel like it.” He winked, causing Roxas to roll his eyes. How absolutely cheesy.

“Yeah, yeah, you have my number too.” The man was an absolute dork, but he felt himself snort regardless. On his way back to his apartment he noted that for the first time in a long time he felt, overall,  just a little lighter.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I managed to cut it down considerably this time, thank god. And with this chapter at least I’m not moving at a snail’s pace. I'm going to try to update every week if possible, so let's see if I can keep up. This is the first fic I've written in a long time so I get nervous and fine-tune things to death. Also holy cow thank you for the kudos, those of you that left them. I just can’t stop smiling, they make me so insanely happy.

Roxas was awoken from his much needed nap by the shrill ring of his cell phone. Nearly rolling right off of his sofa he began frantically searching for the source of the horrid sound. He really needed to get a new ringtone This one was wasn't cute anymore, it was just plain annoying.. Finally discovering his phone, set neatly on his coffee table, he quickly answered.

"Hello?" He hoped he didn't sound as asleep as he still felt, the dredges of this morning's hangover still running through his veins.

"Roxas! Good to hear you're still alive." It was Xion, his best friend since they were in diapers, sounding suspiciously like she'd expected he was alive the whole time and just wanted to be a smart ass. "We never got any messages back from you so we were kind of worried."

 _'Oh yeah.'_ The minute he'd gotten back to his apartment he all but passed out on his couch, still fully dressed and without having taken the shower he'd come to crave so very badly during the cab ride home. "Sorry about that, I've been pretty exhausted… Wait _'we'?_ " Getting up he plugged in his coffee maker and filled it with water, digging around his cupboard for the tub full of grounds.

"Yeah, pretty much everyone called me. Nami, Sora, plus then I caught up with Pence and Hayner..." Roxas paused his coffee search, listening intently. "Your sister was definitely the first. She called while I was getting ready for work, absolutely hysterical. You're a terrible brother." He could hear the smirk in her voice. "Sora called too but he was way more chill. Figured you might have actually gotten laid for once." Roxas made a choking sound and he heard his best friend snort. "Yeah that's what I thought. Told him so too. Oh and Hayner and Pence came into the shop today and turns out they got weird messages too, so then _we_ got talking." She chuckled. "You really did it this time, Rox. You practically had the whole town wringing their hands worrying about you."

Taking that as a cue, he faked a laugh himself. "Yeah right Xion. Ever think you might be the reason I went off the deep end yesterday, you harpy?" He heard her snort. "You can tell the whole town to relax, me and my buddy Axel went out for a drink and I guess I went a little overboard." That was the story they were going with. The story Axel had created and Roxas would be spreading as truth. As far as anyone but he and Axel knew, this was the truth.

"Ahhh, we were wondering who Axel was!" Xion sounded as if she didn't exactly believe her friend, but was too nice to say so. "So he's a friend of yours, then? I grilled Nami but she didn't have any info. Weird, because anything I don't know she usually does."

"Sometimes I think the two of you are against me." Roxas replied sourly. Returning to his search for coffee grounds he accidentally ended up knocking a slew of cans and cup noodles out of the cupboard with shaking hands and sending them clattering and scattering all over his kitchen floor. Lying made him so nervous… Sighing he responded. "Yeah we're friends. I was lucky he was concerned enough to text all of you, but we just ended up shacking up at a gross hotel anyway." Gross beyond belief, but he felt himself smile at the memory. It had been surprisingly fun getting to know someone new, and while breakfast sucked the company he'd been keeping was really... Nice. Plus while he was only an intern at a small time law firm, but he sure managed to make that sleazy hotel manager quake in his boots, and Axel had actually made a pretty good sidekick. Yes, while breakfast was pretty disgusting, breakfast with Axel had been a really nice distraction...

He had to be careful where his mind went or he was sure he'd start dropping more things. He'd been chastising himself all morning for last night's behavior. How this wasn't like him, and he knew not to trust strangers, and yet still he couldn't find it in himself to think of the experience as an unpleasant one. This of course made him all the more angry with himself.

"That sounds disgusting! You need to tell me all about it later." Xion laughed. "I'm really sorry I couldn't rescue you, but I had to open today. By the time you texted me I was already asleep!" Sweet, quirky Xion. Roxas was positive she would have rescued him, and that she wouldn't have pried if he'd asked her not to. Were he less blackout drunk and more drunk silly, he probably would have only sent a rescue text to her. She knew everything about him and still supported him fully. She wouldn't have chided him for getting wasted and had she known the truth probably wouldn't have chided him for shacking up with a stranger. She wasn't like his protective sister. She could understand when an ass kicking was needed, and when one wasn't.

"It's no big. It's my bad for getting so wasted." Roxas forced another laugh, kneeling down to pick up the mess he'd made. At least the coffee can had fallen down along with the other various foodstuffs. Unfortunately the blond's hands were still trembling. Not only did he hate lying in general, he especially hated lying to his friend.

There were healthier ways to deal with one's feelings than drinking oneself numb. Roxas knew that. And Roxas also knew that since he usually abstained from alcohol he'd be drunk stupid in no time. It was all such a dumb, dumb thing to do… He was the boring, normal one. He was the one everyone ragged on for not joining them when they went out. He wasn't supposed to act like that….

"Well next time get smashed _before_ 3AM." He could hear the smile in his friend's voice. Voicing his acquiescence and swiping to hang up, Roxas began to finally make his much needed coffee. Though he didn't feel nearly as queasy as before, he could still feel a faint, lingering sort of nausea, and his head was still pounding. Why, oh why did he have to drink as much as he had last night? He had a sinking feeling he'd be feeling it for the rest of the day. Never again, he vowed, would he ever drink like that again.

Throughout the week following what Roxas had dubbed 'the incident', not the most creative name but it did the job, he found he was throwing himself into his work and college courses with more vigor than usual. More accurately it was an internship at one of the best little law firms in Twilight Town, a fact in which he was very proud. If one might have asked him why he would have said he just was feeling extra productive that day, but in truth he knew he was probably trying to forget. Forget his weekend adventure, forget those green, green, too green to be real eyes, forget Hayner's engagement. Trying to forget that he was a human being with human emotion and not a robot. Forget and stuff everything down until it was packed tight. But all the overtime and extra credit in the world couldn't keep his friends, those damn heathens, from dragging him, nails digging into the metaphorical dirt into their social life.

In all truth he knew they'd probably come for him eventually no matter how he tried to avoid it, and one evening after his boss let him go for the day Hayner and Pence managed to ensnare him outside his own apartment, eventually dragging him to some little Mom and Pop diner. Getting there was a blur, really. Though that could have just been because Roxas was extremely tired and the diner conveniently close. He did remember telling them it was fine, he had some leftover spaghetti in the fridge that would make a perfectly fine supper, but Hayner said something about needing his worldly advice and Pence made some remark about him looking like a zombie. So instead of being at home where he could binge watch something on Netflix or… Oh, water his house plant or something, he had to be here instead. Not that here was utterly awful, it was pretty clean as far as diners went and it had a homey feel. The color palette was warm and it wasn't too crowded which was always a plus in Roxas' book. But it wasn't Roxas' home, he couldn't properly brood here.

They were met at the front by a pretty redhead. She looked to be about Roxas' age, maybe a little younger, with hair the color of wine and deep, deep blue eyes. "I'll be right with you, we're running a little slow tonight because _someone_ didn't show up for his shift." She delivered the last half of her sentence through gritted teeth, obviously angry at whoever had set them back. It seemed she had a great deal of moxie and wasn't afraid to show it.

"Take your time." Roxas found himself saying as Hayner grumbled behind them and Pence attempted to calm his friend. It wasn't as if the poor girl could help their circumstances. He'd be pretty pissed too if one of his co-workers left him to drown.

After a short wait the hostess, who was apparently also doubling as waitress, popped back in. "I can show you to your table now, sorry. Had a bit of an emergency in the kitchen." Leading the group to a booth in the very back, she flung out menus as if they were playing cards she were dealing at a poker match. "My name is Kairi, I'll be your server this evening. I'll be back after you guys have had some time to look at drinks and after I text the idiot who's supposed to be helping me." Her voice stayed sweet even as she began pounding the letters so hard into her phone it seemed to Roxas she was intent on doing some serious damage to whoever was screwing her over.

After she had stormed away, Hayner decided to comment. "Not very professional. If I texted on the job my boss would have my ass."

"I'm pretty sure this Diner is family run." Pence remarked. Roxas should have known Pence would know something like that, Pence knew everything about this town, Roxas was surprised town hall hadn't caught wind and promoted him town historian. "It's been here for years, the original owner is like…. Really old now. Everyone calls her Granny. When she's actually in the restaurant helping cook it's like… The best food in all of Twilight Town." Pence sighed dreamily, apparently no stranger to Granny's cooking.

"It's not always like this then?" Roxas raised an eyebrow as he caught Kairi rushing around out of the corner of his eye.

"Nah. Usually there are a lot more servers, that's probably why the waitress is freaking out." Pence smiled good naturedly as he explained.

"You're _where?_ " He could hear Kairi snapping at someone at the waitress station. Stretching, he could see waitress was on the phone with someone. "Well if that's the case then call in for once, do you know how few people we have manning this place tonight?" She paused to listen to the poor sap on the other end plead their case. "Yeah that does sound crazy. And you said how many?" She nodded. "Well that's no excuse for not calling in, I could have gotten someone to sub for you!" The person on the other end really wasn't letting up, but Kairi still looked livid. "You think you can make it? Well if you don't get here immediately I'm going to kill you with my bare hands and the jury will say you had it coming." Once the phone call ended she was back again, pen and pad ready. "What will you gentlemen be having to drink."

"Coke for me." Hayner was still scanning the menu.

"Same for me." Pence smiled good naturedly.

"I'll just have water." Roxas offered nervously. Kairi seemed to be studying him for some reason and it was making him a little uncomfortable.

"Right, have those drinks right out to you. Thank you for your patience" Walking off briskly Roxas was left to wonder just what was up with this place. None of the other patrons seemed to think anything of the angry phone call. Did this happen often?

Having seemingly made his selection, Hayner set his menu to the side. "That chick was totally checking you out." He stated with a grin. Roxas waved the idea off. It didn't seem like it to him, and if she was, she'd be barking up the wrong tree.

"No way. Maybe she thinks she knows you from somewhere." Pence offered. Roxas tried to imagine where he might have met the girl before, but he kept drawing blanks.

Peeking nervously into what he could see of the kitchen, he shook his head. "I don't think so." He sank down in his seat as Kairi came around the corner with a tray of drinks.

"Two cokes and a water." Placing them at light speed a clatter in the back seemed to get her attention. "Christ…" She mumbled before turning back to the three. "You boys know what you want?"

"I want your spicy southwestern burger." Hayner grinned, handing her his menu. It was the type of flirty grin that would always make Roxas' heart hammer away in his chest..

"I'll have your rib special, thanks." Pence answered politely, also passing his menu over.

All eyes were now on Roxas, who absolutely hated this. "Uh I'll have the classic grilled cheese?"

Kairi wrote all of this off and hustled off probably to investigate what that crash was.

"Really Rox, grilled cheese? We're at like, the best diner in town?" Hayner laughed. Roxas just shrugged it off.

"I like grilled cheese." He responded simply, more interested in what was going on in the back.

"You fucking _idiot_!" He could hear Kairi screech. "You just _broke in_? You know I lock the employee door when it's just me and mom here! Come in through the damn front door like a normal person, asshole!"

"First you _want_ my help, now you _don't_ want my help." The other voice drawled loudly. It struck a chord in Roxas' memory, but it was too faint for him to be able to place it. "Make up your mind." He could almost hear a shit eating grin plastered on the other person's face. "And I'm not a normal person, Kairi, I work here."

"Not if I fire you, you don't." Roxas smiled to himself. Now they were just squabbling. "Stop right there, give me the uniform, you leave in your boxers." What she said next was whispered, much to the blond's disappointed.

It apparently changed mystery man's tune however. "No fuckin' way, right now? You traitor, all because I might have broken our lock."

"You _broke our lock?!_ " Kairi was yelling again. "You piece of shit! How are mom and I going to work at night safely now that you broke our fucking lock? What about Granny you ass?" Whatever the man said was too muffled by the heavy kitchen doors for Roxas to catch, probably trying to calmly reassure Kairi.

"-Don't you think, Roxas?" Hayner was asking, bringing the blond back to his present situation, sitting at the corner booth with his friends.

"I'm sorry? I wasn't paying attention." He admitted sheepishly. Hayner Rolled his eyes dramatically.

"God Roxas you're such a space case. I said summer weddings are so cliche. Olette had her heart set on a June wedding but come on, that's what everyone does!" Olette… For some reason Roxas could never find it in his heart to be jealous of her, just the place she held in his friend's life. After all it was impossible to hold any negative feelings toward someone so darn nice… Plus he'd known her just as long as he'd known Hayner and Pence… Even if he wanted to he couldn't possibly be mad at her or dislike her just because Hayner chose her.

"Uh I guess." Roxas tore at one of the flimsy napkins uncomfortably. If he were getting married, he'd probably want a wedding in a month that wasn't so hot, but he'd also want to take his partner's opinion into consideration as well, and vice versa. Not that he felt like saying that…

"I was telling Hayner that cliche or not, it's romantic which is probably why she wants it." Pence cut in. "Hayner wouldn't know romantic if it hit him in the face." He laughed, and Roxas joined hollowly. It wasn't an untrue statement. "Um is that our food…?" Pence had a confused look on his face.

"I think our waitress bailed on us…" Hayner surmised. Disregarding the napkin he was mutilating, Roxas looked up to find that yes, Kairi had turned the job over to… The very same too tall redhead he'd spent his Sunday morning with and spent his entire week trying not to think about. He had of course failed miserably at the latter. He suddenly felt the urge to climb over the back of his booth and make a dash for freedom. Similarly, he also felt his heart hammering in his chest as if it, too, were trying to make a break for it. It seemed Sunday wasn't done with him yet, and life wasn't quite ready to let him leave that stupid handsome redhead behind.

"I know, I know, you wanted that darling little sister of mine. Well she's had it for the night and dumped the rest of her tables on me." Glancing at Roxas he amended. "Not that I mind." This caused the blond's face to heat up and he prayed it didn't look as red as it felt. "Now let's see, ribs for the gentlemen in the far corner because he actually graces us with his presence regularly and house knows he's a rib man." Pence looked pretty flattered by this and graciously caught the plate he was slid. "Okay, camo vest probably ordered spicy southwestern, not knowing just how many jalapenos my Grandmother puts on this thing. Which will make for an interesting experience for all of you if you're lucky." He was smirking as he handed Hayner his plate, as Hayner was giving both the plate and Axel dubious glances. "And grilled cheese, Roxas? You can make that at home." He laughed warmly. "Oh well, my mom and grandma both make great grilled cheeses so I probably would have picked it too. When I can, I just come here so I don't have to make it myself." He handed Roxas his plate with more care than he had the other two, something the blond hadn't failed to notice. "Granny is always happy to feed her _favorite grandchild_." He raised his voice at the last part, causing Kairi to flip him off from across the room. Axel seemed to have anticipated this and returned the gesture. "My Mom always tells me to make my own damn sandwich now." He snickered.

"Thank you." Roxas huffed. "So you're the one Kairi was screaming at on the phone." Axel shifted uncomfortably.

"Ah that… Boy she ripped me a new asshole, didn't she?" He shook his head, looking wounded, before continuing. "Yeah I had to work my other job, you remember that one?" Roxas nodded. How could he forget, after all the way he learned of it was rather unorthodox. Finding out someone is an EMT because you need an EMT is… Pretty weird. "Well I guess I didn't tell anyone here I was working today so they couldn't call in a replacement to work my shift, and I guess they were pretty screwed. Dick move on my part, I deserved her wrath." The redhead explained. "I'll explain more later but I still have the rest of Kai's tables to get to. I just chose yours first because friends get special treatment." He winked. Roxas rolled his eyes.

"Whatever. Stop stalling and do your damn job." He couldn't help but grin as Axel gave him a little salute and strolled away. That guy's cheerful demeanor was infectious.

"So who was that?" Pence asked amiably. Realizing his two friends had seen the entire encounter he gave an embarrassed laugh.

"Uh that's Axel. He's the one who saved my ass last weekend." That wasn't a lie. If it hadn't been Axel who'd found him he'd have probably gotten into a whole mess of trouble. "I didn't know he worked here, I just knew about his job as an EMT." He probably should have guessed, what with the redheads manning this establishment.

" _That_ guy's an EMT?" Hayner didn't look convinced. Roxas didn't blame him, Axel definitely didn't look like someone who'd be in that line of work. He looked like the one who'd be causing the hurt, not healing it. "Doesn't look like the kind of guy you'd hang out with, Roxas."

"I don't see how it's any of your business who I hang out with. Damn Hayner, what are you, my mother? Since when did you get so judgmental anyway?" Roxas was a little surprised at how defensive he sounded, but the tone of his friend's voice had him peeved.

"I was just pointing out…" Hayner stopped, the look on Roxas' face apparently being enough to tell him going any further was a very bad idea. Instead he bit into his burger, entire face scrunching up as the spice of the jalapenos hit his tongue. Arm reaching for his drink at lightning speed he gulped nearly the entire thing down at once. Apparently Axel was right about the level of spice. As he nibbled his grilled cheese he watched the too tall redhead carry trays of food and dishware in and out of the kitchen with great finesse.

He would almost call Axel's movements graceful, making his way to and fro in long strides, carrying stacks and stacks of dishes, some bearing heaps of food and some entirely empty. He continued watching Axel until a balled up straw wrapper hit him straight between the eyes.

"What the hell was that for?!" He cried. Pence pointed an accusatory finger at Hayner.

"We've been trying to talk to you but you've just been starin' into space!" He attempted to justify the assault. Roxas glared but nodded, encouraging Hayner to continue whatever he'd been trying to tell the distracted blond. "So anyway I was telling Pence that Olette wanted to start thinking about setting a date." Roxas felt his stomach drop. "Since I don't want a summer wedding that means it'll have to be sooner that we originally anticipated unless we want to put it off." Roxas hated talking about the wedding, hated preparing for the wedding, hated that he had to be part of the wedding at all… Frankly everything to do with this wedding he detested with all of his might. Maybe it was because it was a reminder of his cowardice, his inability to admit his feelings. Maybe it was because it always made him feel like he was drifting further and further away from someone he'd known for a better part of his life. Regardless, it all made his insides twist painfully. So painfully it made him feel like he might be sick. Very sick. Urgently sick in fact... "So I was thinkin-"

Getting up with such force that the silverware clattered, interrupting whatever Hayner might have had to say, the blond rushed off with a muttered "I'll be right back." His eyes took in and memorized the patterns on the carpet as he hurried as fast as his legs could carry him to the restroom. Being away from the wedding talk certainly helped, but the ill feeling lingered. Since his gaze was trained downward, he failed to see that he was about to plow right into a redhead with a tray full of dishes. Said redhead did, however, and narrowly averted tragedy, nimbly stepping out of the distracted blond's path. Said redhead also abandoned the tray in favor of following the distraught Roxas.

"Somethin' the matter? I'm not saying we have the best china here, but if I hadn't been paying attention we'd be sportin' broken china…" Clearly not expecting to have company the blond nearly jumped right out of his skin, spinning around to face Axel while clutching his chest in an attempt to calm his pounding heart.

"Jesus Christ, Axel, you scared the shit out of me!" He hissed. Looking around to make sure Hayner and Pence hadn't seen, he grabbed the redhead by the wrist and yanked him into the men's room. There at least they'd get some privacy. Ignoring the look he was receiving from Axel. he decided on telling the man the bare minimum.

"I just… Felt like I was about to out freak out or something so I… Just had to get out of there. And then you put the final nail in the coffin by sneaking up on me!" He shot Axel an accusatory glare. Not that Axel's presence was the worst thing that could have happened. He supposed he'd probably go less crazy with a little company.

"Sorry." The redhead offered an apologetic smile. "I didn't think I'd scare you that bad. So what are you freaking out about." He seemed to give Roxas a once over. "You don't look like you're hyperventilating or anything this time so that's good at least. You're sweating though." He reached over to place the back of his hand to Roxas' forehead, causing him to tense up. "You don't feel feverish. Do you feel sick?"

"You don't care much about personal space do you?" Roxas' reply was a little shaky and a lot less snarky than he would have liked.

This didn't seem to phase Axel one bit however, shrugging as his lips curled into a small smile. "Comes with the job." He paused before revising that statement. "That being the EMT gig. The diner business would probably frown on the invasion of personal space." Roxas rolled his eyes, which only seemed to amuse the redhead more. "You didn't answer my question though." He continued. "Do you feel sick? You definitely made a pretty quick getaway back there..."

Sighing, the blond decided to appease the man with an answer. "Yeah, a little but I think that's just… Uh… Due to the nature of the conversation we were having." He offered Axel a weak grin as the taller man raised an inquisitive eyebrow. "Relax. It's stupid, I feel better now so we can just… Drop it." The redhead didn't seem to think that answer cut it however, and it seemed he didn't seem to want to drop it because at this the taller man decided to guard the door like a six foot something tall door-guarding gargoyle, completely still. And there was no way Roxas could move someone that big. "Damn it Axel, I'm going to be fine."

"I know." He grinned, wide and catlike. "I'd just like for you to explain what conversations freak you out. What if someday I fuck up, then who'll be the one trying to keep you distracted in an ugly diner bathroom?" The mischief in his voice was unmistakable.

Roxas folded his arms. "I bet your sister would be real thrilled you're trapping a customer in your 'ugly' bathroom." Though in truth he would rather be held hostage in a diner bathroom than out there discussing wedding dates, or wedding anythings really..

Axel cracked an impish smile. "True, if you were just any old customer. But we're friends so that's different. I'm trapping my friend in the bathroom. I'm not being a bathroom creep, this is just friendly hijinks." Roxas sighed. This stupid nosey redhead... And since when were they friends? He hadn't been notified of this, not that being friends with Axel sounded bad, really.

"You're an absolute idiot." Roxas huffed, struggling to get past the man before realizing it was no use. He was too damn tall and too damn sly. He'd try to duck underneath one of those gangly arms, and that cursed redhead would be one step ahead, moving that damn gangly arm to block his path. Every time Roxas thought he'd outsmarted him he'd only be intercepted again, to the point where he was positive Axel was playing dirty and could read his mind. How else would he know what his next move would be, the cheater?

After a few minutes of trying to pass Axel and repeatedly being thwarted, Roxas stepped back with a defeated sigh. "Okay fine, first of all no one should be as tall as you are, you belong in the circus." That only made Axel chuckle. "I just… Get a little uh... Nervous... When H- When my friends talk about getting married. It's dumb because it's just going to happen anyway but I just…" He shifted uncomfortably. "So… That's it. That's what I was freaking out about." It felt… Kind of silly saying it out loud.

What's more he couldn't believe he was telling this guy, someone he didn't know very well at all, something only his select family members and very closest friend knew. Something he hid from everyone in the entire world. Granted he wasn't going into specifics but it was still too much... It was still a clue that one could use to deduce his most well kept secret. Why he acted like a fool the previous weekend... Besides, he still wasn't sure what he'd told Axel when he was black out drunk... For all he knew the man knew absolutely everything and was just keeping quiet to be... Polite... Or something...

"Oh that's what it is. Well…" The redhead pursed his lips in thought. Roxas could see the wheels turning and he was praying he wasn't going to be nosy. "Well how about I come back with you? I mean I can't save you every time the subject comes up, I'm no psychic." Roxas wasn't so sure about that. "But I'm sure I could do some pretty decent diverting this time around." He grinned that 100 watt grin and waggled his eyebrows, and Roxas felt a little sick and dizzy again, but he nodded anyway, just glad Axel didn't pry like he expected he would.

"Maybe not…. Right away…" The shorter male suggested. "Finish your job first and then... Then come and sit with me." He nibbled nervously at his lower lip.

Axel clapped the blond on the back. "Well in that case you'd better hurry back, all I have to do is buss a few tables and I'm a free man."

He wasn't sure why he was taking Axel up on his offer. He was usually the type to suffer in silence, but there was something about the redhead that was… Kind of comforting. As he left the restroom he tried his very best to look composed, but on the inside he was in turmoil. He felt stupid for leaving in such a hurry and he was terrified that he spilled his guts to someone he barely knew… Not to mention he had no idea what Axel had in mind but saying the man was eccentric was an understatement. Sitting back down in his booth he quietly took a sip of water as if he'd never fled in the first place.

"Roxas what happened?!" Pence looked extremely concerned, making the blond feel selfish for acting the way he did. 'Real mature, just getting up and running away…'

"Yeah dude you just freaked out all of the sudden and left." Hayner added.

Roxas gave an embarrassed laugh, pretending he didn't feel horrible and childish. "I felt really sick all of the sudden. I'm better now." It wasn't a complete lie, after all. He zoned out after that, not really listening to the conversation Hayner and Pence were having. It wasn't until he felt someone take a seat next to him that he was brought hurtling back to earth. Sure enough Axel was explaining that he had finally made it up to Kairi and finished off what would have made up both of their shifts to compensate.

"Aren't you tired?" Roxas found himself saying. Axel looked at him inquisitively, one long arm resting on the table. His hair was a mess, spikes of red, red, too red hair all sprouting every which way. There were dark circles under those striking eyes as well. He looked like it was a miracle he hadn't passed out cold right where he sat.

"No, I'm okay. I should have called in so…" The redhead shrugged. "This is what I get. I put my sister and mom through hell. Had to make it up to 'em somehow."

"So your mom works here too?" Roxas wondered if Axel's mother looked like he and Kairi, vivid and beautiful. "Yeah she does, she's not as crass as Kairi and me though. Mother dear is too much of a lady. And Kai only cusses like a sailor when it's at me." Axel snorted. The redhead was very warm, Roxas noticed, enjoying the body heat next to him he felt himself leaning into it in spite of himself.

"You ever able to eat that burger, camo vest?" The redhead asked Hayner, grinning mischievously.

"I can eat it _fine_ , thanks. And the name's Hayner." The other blond didn't seem very pleased with the new addition to their party, and was keen on making that very clear with his body language and the tone of his voice.

"Just checking." The teasing smile never left the redhead's face. "My Grandmother likes spice, but I always tell her, Granny your taste buds need some tweaking because that's too much." He chuckled warmly. Pence seemed won over, keen to talk about some of Twilight Town's other eateries of which Axel knew a few, and the entire time the conversation never even hedged towards marriage. The redhead always had something talk about, some place for the conversation to go, which was fine with Roxas who didn't much feel like talking. He was content watching Axel, who by all accounts should have felt as tired as he did, lively and and affable as he joked, and laughed, and told fascinating stories. He was actually really glad the redhead had come to his rescue.

It was only around 10PM that Kairi came over to shoo them out. "Hate to rain on your parade boys but we're closing up now. Need the check?" Pence was the one who answered and the woman hustled off, returning with a check that the three decided to split.

"What about tip?" Hayner asked as Pence appeared to try to be calculating it on his phone.

"Don't worry about it." Axel grinned. "I'll handle the tip." He winked and Roxas rolled his eyes. This made Hayner and Pence all too happy, not bothering to question this small blessing. Leaving the check behind, Hayner and Pence both scooted out of the booth and began heading for the door. "Coming Roxas?" Hayner called.

"One minute!" He replied as Axel scooted out of the booth to free him. The redhead offered a hand, which after making absolutely sure his friends had already left Roxas elected to take. Axel was just helping him up, he told himself. It didn't mean anything. There was no reason for his stomach to start acting weird. "Thanks for that… You were a pretty good diversion." This made the taller of the two smile brightly.

Suddenly Pulling Roxas off to the side and into some nook where they were close, very close, Axel seemed more hesitant now, if only a bit. "So about that tip."

Roxas rolled his eyes. "I knew you had something up your sleeve, you may think you're slick but I can see right through you." Hands on his hips, he wasn't shaken by just how much taller Axel was compared to him. He was, however, a little flustered by how close they were to one another in this crevice.

"You're right, I do, sort of." The redhead admitted. "Though I thought I'd sound more smooth doing this, god-" He shook his head with a laugh, mass of red bouncing with the motion. That hair never failed to mystify Roxas, for some reason. "Okay so I was going to say a perfect tip would be that coffee date you promised. I still owe you. For the hotel and all..." He paused, thinking carefully about what his next move might be. Roxas was having a hard time noticing these minute details, because it seemed to him they were just getting closer and closer, now he could feel that wonderful warmth again. Instead of just the shadow of it now he could feel all of it pressed right up against him.

It was the warmth that he would blame later for making him draw in closer. He could also smell the taller man's scent now, a mix of dish soap and sweat and something else that was spicy and entirely unique to Axel. It didn't help that he'd been at war with himself over the man all week and now they were pressed together like sardines in a can. Maybe that was why when Axel leaned down - and he had to lean down quite a bit being as tall as he was- Roxas didn't pull away. And when their lips touched Roxas leaned into the kiss instead of heading for the hills leaving a puff of cartoon dust behind him.

Actually he didn't just lean closer. When he looked back on the incident later he may have tangled his fingers in that messy red hair so that by god he could keep the man there. But that was probably Axel's fault since the taller man was wrapping lanky arms around Roxas' waist, pulling him closer, if that was even possible. Regardless of how it happened, Axel, a man Roxas had had only two encounters with, kissed him and he just let it happen. In fact he encouraged it. In double fact he may have deepened the kiss. Just a little. These were things that under normal circumstances the boring, tame, vanilla Roxas would have never done. The dull, humdrum, uninteresting Roxas never kissed people he wasn't dating. He usually never even kissed on the first date. He would never, ever kiss someone he wasn't going steady with, but it seemed the stale monotonous Roxas was out to lunch because he had kissed Axel, full participation.

Unfortunately, fate didn't let this kiss go on for long as the honk of the horn in Hayner's sedan sent Roxas scrambling as far back as the confined space would let him, gasping for air. Axel was also looking unusually flushed.

"That uh… That's what I wanted for a tip… Only now that pick up line sounds really dumb after the fact." The redhead chuckled a little breathlessly. "So I'm glad I didn't have the guts to say that before I kissed you."

Roxas felt himself laugh too, at the absurdity of the situation, at the absurdity of the pick up line… "That's really cheesy Axel." He snorted. "Granted I might have kissed you anyway but…" He wondered why in the hell he just said that, but felt himself laugh along with the redhead. "It sounds like it's out of a porno."

Axel was snickering and shaking his head. "I know, I know I didn't notice how bad it was until I said it out loud." He sighed. "Good to know I would have gotten a kiss even if I laid that monstrosity on you."

He was beaming now and Roxas had to playfully smack him. "Yeah well…" Hayner honked his horn again and Roxas groaned. Then, for reasons Roxas himself couldn't comprehend, he dragged the redhead down by the collar of his shirt and gave him a peck on the cheek. "You have my number. Call me about that date." He winked before hurrying out. The last thing he wanted was Hayner and Pence coming back in to find him and Axel canoodling. He missed the look of shocked awe on Axel's face as well as the dreamy smile that followed, but the butterflies in his stomach followed him home.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: I tried my best to get this out on schedule but I got very sick and was unable to write or do much of anything really... I really do apologize. Also! Thank you so much for the kudos! Any and all feedback I get makes me giddy. Anyway, enjoy and I'll try to get the next one out faster then I did this.

The next day had Roxas so distracted he found it almost impossible to function. No matter what he was doing he found his thoughts drifting back to the previous night and that damn surprise kiss. Well it wasn't entirely a surprise, there had been a good deal of tension leading up to it, but it was surprising enough for him.

He was so spacey that day that during his lunch break he was able to sit through a forty minute long conversation with Hayner complaining to him about Olette and her indecisiveness about color schemes. Something he would have never been able to do had he not been preoccupied with the thought of how Axel's lips felt pressed against his and how surprisingly soft they were and what it might be like to do it again…

It was driving him absolutely crazy, just one stupid kiss with one stupid redhead…That stupid, funny charming redhead…. Who had incredibly good timing and a really nice ass and those big warm hands… To think what he could do with those…

He felt like smashing his head into his desk.

"Sorry to trouble you Roxas." The kind voice of Aqua, one of the attorneys working at the firm he was interning at and his favorite due to her kind, understanding nature, interrupted his self loathing and stopping his filthy thoughts in their tracks. "All of these papers seem to have been copied upside down. We can still use these as scrap so don't worry." She must have noticed the blond looking disappointed. "Regardless, would you mind copying them one more time, the other way around?" She smiled sweetly and he felt extremely lucky it was _Aqua_ who noticed the error and not one of his other coworkers. Had his boss received an upside down copy he'd have never heard the end of it.

Scrambling, he graciously took the hard copy from his chuckling co-worker. "Crap! Sorry Aqua I'll have these right out to you, right side up this time." He knew he'd been distracted that day but this was a new low, even for him. He'd been working at this firm for nearly a year now, this was a rookie mistake… Hell not even rookies did shit this stupid!

Aqua offered a concerned smile, placing a gentle hand on his shoulder. "Roxas are you feeling alright? If you're sick you can always call in for once, you know there are plenty of people here who'd vouch for you." This was how she always was; compassionate, almost motherly, always concerned for her friends and the people she worked with directly. She was the one who had shown him how to do most everything around the office since nearly everyone else had copped out, claiming they were too busy.

Shaking his head, Roxas offered the most reassuring smile he could manage. "Thanks for your concern, Aqua. I have no doubt in my mind you could scare Ansem into giving me an actual sick day or two…" This made the woman laugh. "I guess I'm just a little off my game today." He smiled sheepishly. Standing up straight now, both hands on her hips, she gave the blond a once over before sighing defeatedly.

"You'd be here running around doing errands for us even if the world was ending." Aqua announced affectionately. As she was turning to walk back to her cubicle she added, "If you need a breather today just come tell me. I could probably buy you some time."

Roxas could feel himself relax into his office chair, melting like jello under 90 degree sunshine. Closing his eyes he took a deep breath, trying to will himself up and out of the safety of his chair, because he just _had_ to fuck up those copies. Because his brain just _had_ be out to lunch today. Because he just _had_ to have all too willingly received a smooch from stupid, handsome, sexy…

No! No! Not sexy, he did _not_ think Axel was sexy, he was not doing this again! That was wrong, that was shallow, he was putting the brakes on that thought right now. He was absolutely not going to think about how kissable he thought Axel's lips were or how those eyes made him putty in those strong inviting hands and _holy shit_ what did he have to do to stop thinking such lewd thoughts? Since when did he ever even have lewd thoughts in the first place?

His friends always called him prude, it had been that way ever since high school. He had been the sensible yet straight-laced friend, the person one came to to cry to about sorely regretting a lay. The guy one would whine to about so-and-so being of their league. And he'd give rational advice on the subjects of love and sex because he'd always been rational when it came to subjects such as these.

Except to be truly honest he supposed he was only good at the game of love when it was from an outsider's perspective. All things love related, pertaining to Roxas himself, had been dissatisfying at best and disastrous at worst. He… Probably wasn't all that good at being any more than a fairy godmother to a friend in need.

This was probably why he'd accepted a sad future of unrequited love with such ease.

And then that stupid hot giant had to ruin everything. Now he couldn't complete simple tasks without thinking about that circus freak and how it was kind of cute how far he had to bend down when they kissed… Shit! No it wasn't, that wasn't where that train of thought was supposed to go, damn it!

Propelling himself out of his chair he continued arguing with his traitorous brain all the way to the copy machine. He was no virginal, emotionless android. He'd had feelings for people in the past that were… Sexual… In nature. But he didn't remember them consuming his every thought, not since like… Middle school! He was thinking like a middle schooler! This stupid handsome string bean was making him think like a middle schooler!

Putting the hard copy in the machine, right side up this time, he slumped against the wall as he waited for the machine to spit out all fifty copies. Christ did he fuck up…

Then again, he hadn't been kissed like that in… Watching the pages, still warm from the machine and still stacking one on top of one another, he tried to think of the last time he'd kissed someone That wasn't a family member or a friend. His brain was starting to feel as tired as the copy machine was looking, shaking and sputtering in the effort to produce the last few copies before it could call it a day or worse, before it decided it wasn't worth the effort and just jammed.

His last relationship, an abysmal failure when he thought back on it now, had started around the time he started college and lasted only a few months. He'd been on a few dates, but none of them had come of anything and he'd begun to think himself unlucky in love. Especially when that pesky crush on Hayner began to surface.

At first naturally Roxas just thought that balancing a full course load of college classes and a full time internship was finally killing him. It didn't seem all that far fetched, after all that was what the internet said when he'd looked up his symptoms. And it was always easier to believe what one had been told than to search for one's own answers. So that was the answer he had decided to accept until he realized that his heart only beat that way around Hayner, and that his stomach only did those unnatural flips and flops when his best friend smiled at him or swatted him playfully.

It was these same feelings that made caused his heart to turn to ice and drop like it was made of lead when Hayner had told him the good news.

Which then caused him to act out foolishly and meet that infernal redhead. The very same redhead who also had to be the first one to lay one on him in at _least_ three years, probably more. And thinking about Axel and the kissing and how _close_ they'd been in that cramped corner, all tucked away, well that was starting to seem just as bad for his poor heart as being around Hayner had been. Maybe worse… At least with Hayner he'd had himself somewhat trained. Now it was twice the trouble for him, he had an infatuation for an old friend he'd been nursing for a good while, and this new…. Lust…For this attractive weirdo that he had no idea what to do with!

He was a more than a little peeved with himself. He'd thought he knew where his feelings lie, even if it was hopeless at least there were no undue surprises when you had feelings for one of your closest friends. In truth he just expected to suffer it in silence, after all he'd been quite good at it so far. Meeting Axel had been a complete curveball. He wasn't looking to meet new people at all, so when he did, by accident, and the turned out to be stupidly good looking with a personality to match… It made him start to wonder about things like fate and serendipity but it also made him mad that he'd be so easily drawn to another after having what he thought were such strong feelings for someone else for… Well a darn long while!

The copy machine began making a sputtering sound, usually an indication it was nearing its last few copies, or about to croak. It was anyone's guess as to which until the machine actually died or did its job. It was enough to draw Roxas out of his thoughts, leaving the place of wall he'd been slumped against and going to kneel beside the machine in case it needed emergency assistance. Ah the joys of being an intern, copy machine duty and coffee duty. It seemed only on days that he was really lucky that he actually got to assist the others in the office on cases or observe them in court. He supposed maybe it came with time but it got… Tedious. Thank god this internship was paid. Still he supposed he did learn a few things, he thought, grinning to himself as he grabbed the warm papers from the tray. He'd known enough to scare the piss out of the manager at that scummy hotel last week.

Walking as hastily as he could without turning it into an actual power walk and looking dorkier than he already did, he gave the papers to Aqua who thanked him kindly and then gave him a few more errands to run for her while she finished her write-ups for the cases she was currently managing. If he didn't mind, of course. Mentally sighing he agreed, At least it was for Aqua, who was always grateful and kind to the intern-turned errand boy. Regardless of who the errands were for, it was still boring and he couldn't wait until he could clock out and be done. And, not that he would admit it, but there was a phone call he was waiting on.

It had been an incredibly long time, however, since Roxas had been forced to suffer the suspense of waiting for the phone call of a… Paramour…Now that he had chosen to accept the fact that he was not _uninterested_ in Axel, he was getting antsy. How long did such phone calls usually take? He didn't remember. These thoughts suddenly hit him like a train the minute he returned from work, and the very second he was out of his work clothes and in a plain tee shirt and jeans, he was out the door again in hopes of picking the brain of someone who was much smarter about such things than he was.

Someone who he could always talk to without judgement.

Electing to walk, or really power walk, he was at the little tchotchke shop in record time. The building was old, but the sign was colorful and inviting. His sister Namine's doing. She had a knack for that sort of thing, and she'd helped spruce up quite a few of the town's little businesses. Stepping inside he felt a sigh of relief escape his lips when he caught sight of his sister dusting knick knacks.

"Welcome to Twilight Trinkets I'll be with you in a minute." Namine didn't look away from her dusting and re-stocking to notice that it was only a desperate, confused Roxas and not a paying customer.

"Take your time, I know where the cash register is." He felt himself smile wryly as his sister spun around with a bemused expression.

"Very funny Roxas." The blonde huffed, stepping down from the small step ladder she'd been balancing on. Putting the duster away she walked over to the entryway and pulled her brother into a welcoming hug. "So what's up? What are you visiting me at work for?"

Roxas sighed. There was nothing he could hide from her. "Nami I… I think I should probably start from the top…" He bit his lip nervously before adding. "You have to promise not to tell _anyone._ " At this his sister raised an inquisitive eyebrow. Flipping the sign from "OPEN" to "CLOSED" she took her brother by the hand and led him out of the entryway and deeper into the shop.

"We'd better talk in the back." She murmured. "If this is such a big secret." Soon they were in what seemed like a part time break room-most of the time stockroom. It was just like the rest of the shop, antique with a couple chairs scattered in a room full of unshelved items. Now that she was finally satisfied any secrets would be safe, she released his hand and took a seat in one of the chairs. "Alright, now spill."

Roxas shifted uncomfortably before sitting himself in the chair beside her, unsure where to even begin. "Um… Remember when I worried you all with those texts?" His sister nodded. "So… I kind of lied to you on the phone… When you called to check up on me that morning." Namine's expression was a mix of confusion and what looked like…. Hurt. Shit….

"You lied?" The hurt was even more clear in her voice. "What did you lie about? What made you think you couldn't trust me, Roxas?" He winced. He'd had a feeling this wouldn't go over well. In all his life he had perhaps told only two big lies to his sister. Now it was three...

"I was just… Telling everyone the same story and I guess I was afraid if I told someone the truth then the truth would... Get out." God he was a douche.

Namine crossed her arms, clearly still offended. "Well, what's the truth, then, Roxas? What's so bad that you couldn't tell your own _sister_."

She'd done it. She'd invoked the sibling bond. Bowing his head a bit in shame he supposed he should probably start from the top.

"So Hayner had a party and I guess it was to announce his engagement… To Olette." Namine's expression softened. She was one of the select few who knew of his unrequited love. Heck, one of the few who knew he was even gay. "It was stupid…" Roxas laughed mirthlessly. "I should have expected it. They'd been going out for forever…" He shook his head. "Anyway after that I went to the first bar I saw and got blackout drunk." He let out a long sigh, perhaps it was one of relief. Now _someone_ knew the truth. This lie was off his chest. "I woke up the next morning next to a complete stranger…" Roxas laughed weakly. Namine was looking extremely concerned now, deep blue eyes filled with worry.

"Roxas you know I'm not the type to judge, I know things like that happen to people all the time, but if you were as drunk as you say you were…" At this the blond realized he'd made a horrible mistake leaving out a very key detail.

"Oh no, no, _god_ no!" He cried. "It wasn't like that… We both had clothes on, nothing like that happened. We were both drunk and needed somewhere to crash on short notice, that's all." He could feel his face flaming red. Well, Axel had clothes on. He had boxers on though and boxers are clothes, technically... "He was the one who texted you guys for me."

The petite woman released a sigh of relief, reaching out to put a comforting hand on brother's shoulder. Apparently any negative feelings had dissipated. "I'm assuming this is that Axel guy you told me about?" The blond nodded.

"Yeah. He was the one who helped me come up with a… 'Normal' story to tell you guys since the truth sounds so… Bad." He laughed and Namine couldn't help but join in weakly. "He… Didn't act like it was crazy at all… Waking up beside someone he didn't even know. He just ordered us breakfast and told me weird stories." He felt the corners of his mouth turn upwards at the memory.

Namine pursed her lips in thought before responding.

"Well at first I was thinking the guy must be a real creep going after someone so drunk." She still looked like maybe she thought that, a little, and the way she'd said it had been harsh. Roxas' own fault for worrying her, he supposed. "But from the way you tell it it sounds like he was trying to be a good samaritan." Roxas snorted. Namine huffed defensively. "Hey, what would _you_ think? Anyway, go on." She gestured for him to continue with one delicate hand. Roxas felt almost reluctant, but he _did_ come here for advice.

"Uh… So I got stuck doing some 'male bonding' with Hayner and Pence yesterday." That made Namine roll her eyes. Eyes blue as the sea, blue as her brother's. "And I guess Axel works at the diner they dragged me to." He shifted awkwardly in his seat. "Um so we hung out…. Kind of… I _think_ he flirted with me a little... And by the end of it we sort of… Kissed?" The look of surprise on his sibling's face made him feel all the more uncomfortable.

"You… _You,_ kissed someone? Like just… Spontaneously? Oh my god Roxas you don't even kiss on the first date!" She exclaimed, apparently feeling the same shock he'd already felt. Letting out a puff of air she had seemingly collected herself. "Well I _guess_ this is a good thing." She surmised.

This however was puzzling to Roxas. "A good thing?" He asked. The blonde shrugged offhandedly.

"Sure. Something is keeping you from turning into a little ball of stress and holding yourself back so..." She shrugged again. "A good thing." Before Roxas could tell her that he was never stopping himself from doing anything, thank you very much, she added, "I have a feeling you didn't just come interrupt me at work to confess that you were a dirty rotten liar though." She smirked.

Roxas huffed. She knew him too well, damn her. "Yeah I guess I need advice… Or… Reassurance?" He could almost gag at how pitiful he sounded, but Namine put an arm around him in a comforting sort of half hug. It was almost as if she was if she was trying to alleviate his self loathing.

"I'll give you whatever worldly sibling advice I can. I'm no love guru you know.." She smiled softly, giving her brother a playful nudge.

"Yeah well… Your track record is still better than mine." Roxas snorted. He still felt a little foolish, but of all his friends and family members Namine would be one of the most non-judgmental. "We sort of set up a date… He uh… Said he'd call but I don't know how long that usually takes…" He paused, rubbing his face tiredly. "Would it be bad manners to call him? It hasn't been that long so it'd be too soon…" He was talking more to himself now than Namine, picking nervously at a hangnail. Sighing, she took his hand before he could make himself bleed.

"Would you relax already? You're starting to stress yourself out." Her smile was kind and understanding. "There's no rule book or anything. He'll probably call before the week is out. It's only been a day. You're just freaking because you're not the one making all the moves this time."

It was true. He had always ended up being the instigator in most of his past relationships. Maybe it was because he had been a bit of a control freak or maybe it was because the people he was dating at the time didn't really care enough to take the lead. Either way this agonizing wait was something he wasn't quite used to.

"Well… How do I not freak out?" His words came out sounding more pitiable than he intended, causing Namine to laugh and hug him closer.

"Roxas, for our entire lives, you have always had the habit of freaking out. I don't think you can just stop." The words were spoken affectionately but he still felt himself prickle at them. Not because they were untrue, but rather because his sibling had actually hit the nail on the head.

Crossing her legs delicately, she elaborated. "Remember when we were in the fifth grade, the school play? You were Peter Pan." Of course he remembered. His sister was over the moon that she got to play a mermaid, Sora and his best friend Riku fought relentlessly over the part of Captain hook, and Xion was perfectly happy to play Tinker Bell. Because she didn't want any lines she told him, and she'd just forget them anyway. "You were practicing all the time. You rehearsed harder than anyone, and in the end you stressed yourself out so bad you threw up right before you were supposed to go on."

Roxas groaned, leaning back in the uncomfortable gray folding chair and staring at the ceiling. "I remember. Sora had to sub for me." Namine nodded.

"And the whole show turned out to be a disaster." The pretty blonde leaned forward, hands folded neatly in her lap. "If you stress and over think things, they just end up getting muddled and messy. The best sibling advice I can give to you is don't think about things too hard. You'll be a lot happier if you don't over analyze and flip out over every situation."

Roxas wasn't willing to accept such a simple answer. He wanted someone to tell him _exactly_ what to do in _exactly_ the right way so everything would turn out _right._ Namine sighed, reaching over and patting him on the cheek. "Relax, Roxas." Leaning back again she steepled her fingers, deciding to be gracious enough as to impart upon him one last gem of wisdom. "This is my last piece of sibling advice for the day. Boys always want you more when you play hard to get." Her lips curled into a playful grin. "Wait for him _without_ getting impatient and when he finally calls." She shrugged flippantly. "Pretend you weren't even waiting at all."

Roxas twiddled his thumbs nervously. "I don't know if I can do that…" He mumbled. Rather abruptly his sister stood up from her chair and began heading back to the main room of the shop.

"Well you'll have to figure something out," She turned her head to offer a sugary sweet smile. "Because I'm going to have to kick you out now."

Roxas balked. He wasn't ready to go home to his _thoughts._ "Why?" Namine snorted.

"Because I used up pretty much all of today's break time and I need to make a living too." Turning the sign around again she began shooing him out the door. "It was nice seeing you, but next time you have so much to tell me, do it when I'm off work."

Reluctantly the blond let his sister get back to work, retreating to his apartment feeling just as confused and anxiety ridden as ever.

His sister's advice had been good, but it didn't seem feasible. Not with how jittery Roxas was still feeling. He didn't think he could possibly relax, not when all he could think of was that… That…

He was running out of things to call Axel.

Plopping down on his sofa, he stared at his phone so hard his eyes went blurry. This was a fruitless effort, of course, and eventually he could feel the beginnings of a headache. After downing some advil his exhausted body decided it was time for a nap, and try as he might he lost the fight against his drooping eyelids and drifted off.

He awoke to a growling stomach and soft moonlight filtering in through the curtains. Daring to gaze at the clock he found himself surprised with how late it had gotten. No wonder he had a headache, he hadn't eaten since noon and now it was well past 8:00 PM. His nap had lasted far longer than he thought it would.

He began making his way to the kitchenette sluggishly, his feet feeling like they were magnetized to the ground. In fact all of his limbs felt quite heavy. When he opened the pantry he wasn't shocked to find it almost bare. He had meant to go shopping, somehow he must have forgotten. ' _Somehow… Yeah right.'_ He knew damn well how.

Settling on a packet of ramen that was probably still good, Roxas began absentmindedly cooking himself supper. It was this pitiful excuse for a meal he was shoveling into his mouth when his cell phone finally started ringing loudly from where he'd left it in the living room. Never before had he appreciated the annoying tinny tune so much. Abandoning his bland but warm soup, the blond scurried to answer before whoever was on the other end gave up. Grabbing his phone and briefly checking the caller ID he quickly swiped to answer.

"H-hello?" He was gasping from the exertion of sprinting from the kitchenette to the living room. His heart was pounding out of his chest. So much for playing hard to get.

He'd been waiting for this, getting impatient for it even, but now he wasn't so sure he was ready…

"Catch you at a bad time?" There was a smile in the pleasant voice on the other end. It wasn't hard imagining that smile… Oh he absolutely couldn't handle this.

"No… No I wasn't doing anything important." Roxas cringed at the slight crack in his voice and proceeded to clear is throat. He could hear Axel chuckle.

"If you say so." The redhead replied in sing-song. "I just got home from work and thought, 'Hey you know who's probably too neurotic to be asleep right now?' And well, I just couldn't help myself."

"Gee, thanks." Roxas chuckled. Glancing at the clock, it was already 9:30 PM. "You _just_ got off?" He still hadn't decided whether he would allow himself to sit or just continue his pacing around the room. He could hear Axel snickering.

"I haven't 'gotten off' in a while. Why, interested in remedying that?" He replied, and the wicked grin that was certainly on his face right now was palpable from over the phone. It was a stupid, corny response but he could feel his face flaming.

"Oh shut up!" He huffed. "You know what I meant. Off work, doofus." This only served to make the other man laugh. It was infectious and pleasant… Roxas decided he wouldn't mind hearing it more often. He then tried to snuff that thought out as quickly as he possibly could because he barely knew this guy and that sort of thinking was dangerous.

"Sorry, sorry." Axel's apology didn't seem very sincere. "I saw the opportunity and couldn't pass it up. You gotta' admit you walked right into that one." There was some rustling before he continued. "But yeah I only got off work like…" Another pause. "Fifteen minutes ago." Roxas decided it was safe to sit now and plopped himself on his worn sofa. Axel had been working all day. He'd worried himself over nothing… Except now he was forced to face the fact that the man had called him the minute he left work, and forced to contemplate what that could possibly mean.

"Were you working at the diner again or…" The blond wasn't sure what Axel's schedule was like, but from what he'd gathered it seemed quite hectic.

"Kairi let me take the morning shift today. Rest of it was paramedic stuff." The redhead sighed. "In a town this small you wouldn't think people would need so much babysitting." There was a tinge of irritation in his voice. "Like… We got a call today from someone complaining about feeling dizzy and weak. Know what they really were? Hung over."

That made Roxas laugh. "I don't know, I think that's kind of funny." Axel snorted.

"Yeah it's funny the first couple times. Then it just gets annoying." He grumbled. Roxas felt himself grin. The redhead sounded like a sulky child.

"Well okay…. What's the funniest thing you've seen on the job?" The blond was more than a bit curious. Axel hummed in thought.

"I think the funniest ones are when people fuck up while they're fucking." The other man replied. "Like you'd _think_ a person would know not to finger someone after handling hot peppers." Roxas couldn't help the gasp that escaped his lips. That sounded incredibly painful.

"That seriously happened? That was seriously a call you got?" He was disgusted, but also strangely fascinated.

"Yeah. Poor lady was in excruciating pain and no one could figure out why until the guy let it slip that he'd been making quesadillas and forgot to wash his hands." Axel chuckled. "She was fine in the end but damn… Must've hurt like a bitch. Felt terrible for her the whole time." Roxas wrinkled his nose in distaste

"That's gross." He fake gagged, causing Axel to laugh again. That warm, pleasant laugh again…

"Well, what about where _you_ work?" He offered. "Got any fun stories for me? Brighten up my awful, tedious day." The way Axel talked captivated Roxas. He seemed so… Comfortable. So sure. Every word sounded relaxed and confident, and yet so… Friendly. Always amiable. Even when he flirted apparently. Then he sounded cocky and seductive but still so… Affable.

"I don't ever have anything interesting happen where I work…" The blond felt a bit embarrassed. "I work at a law firm, it's like…. The most boring job a person can have." Roxas' job was just as boring as he was, a perfect fit really. He wasn't creative like his sister or outgoing like his cousin. He was just… Dull.

"Nah." Axel interrupted his self-reflection, which was for the best really. He could think about his shortcomings all night. "There's always something at least a _little_ interesting." He continued. "It doesn't have to be as crazy as my story. Just anything you can think of off the top of your head."

Frowning, Roxas thought and thought hard for something interesting in his life. Sighing he responded.

"The only thing I can think of is that two of my co-workers started sleeping together. The whole office knows, but they're still trying to keep it a secret. Our boss would kill them." He bit his lip. "That's not as cool as your story though." He let himself lean back, adjusting the phone so he could still talk on it properly.

"What do you mean?" Axel replied excitedly. "Office romance? What's more scandalous than that! It's like… The golden rule not to fuck your co-workers. I'd rather watch _that_ play out than go on fool's errands all the time." Roxas had a feeling he was saying this to make him feel better, but damn it, it was working.

"Oh? You'd never romance a co-worker?" The blond felt the corners of his lips quirk into a small smile.

"Well…I sort of have someone I'm interested in." Axel stopped to think, or pretend to think rather. " _Maybe_. The diner's hiring, you know." The last part seemed to be more of an invitation than plain information. As if it would be accompanied by a suggestive eyebrow waggle or a wink. Roxas could feel his heart pounding again.

"That…" His mouth wasn't cooperating, but neither was his brain really. That damned redhead had a habit of causing it to short circuit. "That… That was so cheesy." There was more chuckling on the other line.

"I may be cheesy, but it hasn't failed me yet." Axel retorted proudly. After Roxas managed to calm his pounding heart he took a deep breath so he could respond without faltering.

"How do you know it didn't just fail?" He gulped, trying to keep his nerve. "How do you know that I'm not just going to hang up on your cheesy ass?"

"Easy." Axel sounded entirely too confident and it made Roxas extremely nervous. "I was able to get a reaction. And if you were going to hang up on me you would have done it already. My first pick up line was way worse." Damn him… Damn him and his ability to read Roxas so easily.

"You're pretty sure of yourself." He grumbled, nails biting into his palms to distract him from any inappropriate thoughts…. It wasn't helping much.

"Not really." Axel's voice was normal and as cordial as ever and it wasn't fair. How could he be acting so _natural_ while Roxas was on the verge of a nervous breakdown? "Well, I mean maybe a little." He amended. "I just…. Go with my gut and hope it works." Roxas pursed his lip in thought. It worked, it definitely worked, but the blond didn't feel like throwing his pride out the window and admitting it.

"You damned flirt." He groused. He wasn't used to being pursued. He'd been flirted with and gone on dates even, but no one he'd ever dated or met when he was dragged 'out' had ever pursued him like this. Now that he thought of it. this had all gone so fast he wasn't sure what to do with it.

"Nah." Axel hummed to himself as he fiddled with… Something. Roxas could hear more rustling. "I'm no flirt. That implies that I lay it on this thick with people that aren't a foot shorter than me, blond, and going by the name of Roxas."

Roxas could just pull all his hair out now. This was more frustrating than any class he'd ever taken, any task he had to do at work, or any family reunion he'd been forced to attend all mushed together.

"Why did you call me in the first place, other than to be a corny dork? Unless that's all you wanted to call me for." He tried to keep his tone calm, to not convey the inner turmoil he was feeling.

"Oh!" Axel sounded like he'd suddenly remembered something very important. "I wanted to ask when you were free. Y'know to get coffee." He said it as if it were obvious. Pausing, he added,. "I guess I also wanted to talk to you too. You're fun to talk to. At least _I'm_ having fun." He laughed..

Roxas sighed. There was no escaping this guy, so the small part of him that hoped that it was still a possibility was forced to throw in the towel. He probably wouldn't have been able to anyway, just considering his feelings alone… But Axel wasn't holding back with his flirtations tonight.

"I'm free this Friday." He finally replied. "Around two or three o'clock?" He wished he could stop warring with himself about the subject of Axel… But maybe going out for coffee with the guy would help settle him down. Maybe this simple coffee date would quash these… Feelings.

Feelings had never done him a damn bit of good anyway.

"That's great!" The redhead exclaimed. "It's a date then." That seemed to settle it. "You have any place in mind? I mean it _was_ your idea in the first place." That was… Technically true. Unfortunately Roxas got coffee at the same place every day and didn't really know about any of the other coffee houses in town. It seemed there was only one choice, and he had to rely on the powers that be to see to it that no one who knew him saw him there. He didn't need rumors spreading, and he certainly didn't need one more person telling him out how of character this all was for him.

"Um… Jumpin' Java has really good coffee." He was feeling uneasy again. He supposed this was much better than waiting. At least there would be a concrete plan set in place that he, in theory, wouldn't have to worry about. As if that ever stopped him.

"Good, good." Roxas could imagine him nodding to himself as he said this, wild vermillion hair struggling to adapt to the motion. He of course immediately tried to un-imagine it right away. He couldn't afford to let his mind wander. "So we meet there then?" Axel was in remarkably good spirits. Apparently he couldn't tell Roxas felt so uneasy he was on the verge of throwing up.

"Y-yeah…" The blond gulped. "That should work…" He could feel his hands shaking and it was a struggle to keep holding the phone to his ear. He could hear what sounded like a sigh of… Contentment? .

"Alright, easy enough." Axel decided. "See you on Friday, then?" Oh god he was going to see Axel again… Oh _god_ he was going on a date…

"Uh huh." Roxas croaked, barely managing to form even the most basic reply. ' _It's just coffee, Roxas. Going out for coffee doesn't have to mean anything.'_ He was desperately trying to convince himself, even though going to coffee with someone one had kissed usually did seem more romantic than friendly. If Axel noticed his voice shaking and cracking like some sort of jumpy teenager, he was kind enough not to call attention to it.

After they'd hung up Roxas was left alone with a mix of anxiety and excitement churning in his stomach. Friday seemed too far away, yet somehow not far enough.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: Heyyy thanks again to all of you who reviewed. I really love the feedback!
> 
> Also! Notice the rating has changed! This is why I took so long. I was messing with this constantly for so long just to get it right. I hope it's okay. I actually had nightmares about this chapter- yeesh. Anyway I'm planning some juicy drama soon so I figured I'd cave for now and put in something gratuitous. If only for myself.

Roxas was not nervous about his date with Axel and he had not spent an inordinate amount of time picking out what to wear this morning. He certainly hadn't spent the entire rest of the week in a distracted daze barely able to complete the most basic of tasks, and he definitely wasn't nearly vibrating with anticipation as the day's workday drew to a close.

These were the lies he'd been telling himself whenever his treacherous brain informed him of his strange behavior. His denial really didn't do anything to help him. He was a useless mess all week, especially since Axel had been taking it upon himself to text Roxas whenever he found a break.

They were inane, useless things mostly. Sometimes the occasional comedic retelling of something that happened earlier in the day, sometimes a quip of the weather or the coming holiday season. And once Roxas had expanded on his job, Axel began to sometimes ask and joke about that too. He'd had quite a few funny things to say on Wednesday when Roxas told him about his boss who treated him like an errand boy and had a perpetual stick up his ass, which had made him laugh and helped to ease his wounded pride once he was called back to nothing but busywork.

The situation had gotten so comfortable that now it made Roxas more nervous than before, and he was even more of a useless mess today. His hands shook as he gathered his things in order to clock out on time.

"See you Monday, Roxas." Spinning around he was met with Aqua's kind smile. The blond tried to force out a normal smile as his stomach was doing flips from all the strange excitement he was feeling.

"See you, Aqua. Don't let them make you stay too late." The woman laughed softly.

"Don't worry about me, I'll be just fine." She paused before adding, "Take care of yourself, alright?

"Sure thing Aqua." He felt a little bit guilty for worrying his co-workers… Or rather co-worker. The others didn't ever pay him much notice unless they had a chore for him. Aqua however, made up for the others' lack of care by showing him nothing but compassion and affection. Were he his normal self he probably would have laughed, maybe even quipping, "Thanks mom." before he departed.

He wasn't his normal self, however, he was a bundle of nerves who needed to leave immediately or risk being late.

Walking back to his car he cursed colorfully when he realized the person parked behind him had completely botched the job and parked far too close to the bumper of his car.

It would take him forever to get himself out of that stupid spot, but he couldn't very well leave his car or it would be towed. Grumbling in frustration he unlocked the door and slid in the driver's seat. It took an unreasonable amount of driving forward and back again, each time adjusting the wheel so he could carefully maneuver himself out of this spot. It was no easy task, and took far more time than he would have liked, but eventually he managed to free his car after nearly twenty minutes of trial and error.

Looking at the clock on the dash he realized that thanks to this setback, he was running late.

The cursing had now gone past colorful and straight into the obscene. This was the first real date he'd been on in… In… In fucking forever! And he just had to be late. This was bad, very bad. What if Axel grew impatient and left? What if he took it as a snub?

He may have been speeding, a little bit at least, because he managed to arrive at the coffee house at exactly 3:25. He parked quite sloppily, something rather uncharacteristic for him, and jogged to the entrance.

Pausing only briefly to collect himself, he walked in to find that Axel had not left, but instead sat at a little table chatting with one of the baristas. The blond let a sigh of relief escape his lips before mustering up the courage to actually walk inside. The redhead spotted him almost immediately, a wide smile spreading over his face.

Forcing shaky legs to propel him forward, he took a seat across from the other man and tried to put on a brave face as his stomach started doing gymnastics like it was training for the olympics.

"Sorry I'm late." He apologized, folding his hands in front of him to prevent them from trembling. Axel shook his head.

"It's fine. I wasn't waiting long." Roxas felt like he was just being nice, after all he already had a cup of coffee he was taking the occasional sip of. It did calm him down a bit, however.. At least the redhead seemed to be in good spirits.

"The deal was that I buy you coffee, remember?" Axel reminded him, offering a broad friendly grin. Roxas had forgot about this arrangement long ago. His brain had other priorities, it seemed.

"Yeah…" He wasn't sure he'd be able to get anything past the enormous lump in his throat, but an arrangement had been made. "I mean… You don't have to. I really don't need you to pay for anything, I didn't mind paying for the hotel there's really no need to-"

"Humor me then." Axel interrupted, eyes boring into Roxas again. "Forget about being paid back. Let you buy you a drink as your date." Roxas gulped, nodding as he clasped his hands together even tighter to prevent them from shaking. He felt like his whole body would begin trembling. That's what this was, wasn't it? This was a date? There was really no point in pretending they were only here as friends, not with how they ended things last time.

"All right." He consented. "I um… I like chai lattes." Axel gave a little salute before getting up and making his way to the counter. The blond watched as he ordered, chatting with the barista and flashing a charming smile. He returned after paying and leaving a dollar in the tip jar, handing Roxas his drink. "Careful, it's hot." He warned, plopping back down in his seat.

"Uh… Thanks." Roxas mumbled, taking a small sip and wincing. It burned his tongue and it continue to burn his throat as it went down.

"Told you it was hot." Axel snickered. Roxas shot him a wilting glare which only caused him to laugh even more. "So how was work today? Did Ansem decide to be a hardass again?" Offering a compassionate smile. Setting his drink aside to let it cool, the blond tried his hardest to make small talk and ignore the feelings boiling in the pit of his stomach.

"Ah- It wasn't too bad. Ansem mostly ignored me today so I didn't have much to do…" He smiled weakly. "My professor has been a total creep lately though." Blue eyes rolled as he took a tentative sip of his drink. Still too hot, but better, he decided.

"Oh?" Axel quirked a short brow, looking less than enthused.

"It's nothing big, the guy is just a little handsy is all." Roxas shrugged, hoping it would defuse the situation. The redhead tapped long fingers on the table, clearly aggravated, but his tone remained steady.

"That's unprofessional. You should report 'em." Taking a swig of his own drink the tapping of his fingers continue. Roxas nibbled his lower lip nervously.

"M-might as well just tough the semester out, you know? Better to get perved on for a couple months and get your credits than raise a stink and risk… Losing them in the shuffle." He finished lamely, feeling like a coward. Axel had a sour look on his face and that worried him immensely. "So… How was your day?" He asked, desperately hoping to change the subject. He didn't like where the mood had gone. Axel snorted.

"Fine. Not much really. My brother decided to grace us with his lovely presence so he's been a menace." Axel sighed, taking another angry drink of his coffee..

"What's he like?" The blond was honestly curious. "Do you and he not get along?" He'd been able to meet Kairi, he knew what she was like. She was pleasant and funny and while she and Axel bickered, they seemed to have a good relationship with one another for the most part. Axel had never really mentioned a brother. The redhead put his cup back down again with a huff.

"My brother is a grade A asshole. He's older than I am and thinks that he can act however he wants because of it. Not to mention his attitude is shit." Axel folded his arms grumpily. "And I guess I might be little bit jealous, too. He got to escape the iron grip of the family business to do what he wanted with his life, while I'm going to be stuck working at that diner until the day I die." He sighed melodramatically.

"I'm sorry. I didn't know it was such a sore subject or I wouldn't have asked." Roxas offered a sympathetic smile. Axel's immediately he relaxed his posture.

"No, it's fine. I brought the asshole up, it was natural for you to ask." The redhead shrugged. "It's not a touchy subject really, I just can't stand the guy. You didn't say anything wrong."

The blond released a small sigh of relief. It had already gotten off to somewhat of a rocky start in his mind, he would have hated if he accidentally ruined everything by being too nosy. He took a cautious sip of his drink, thankful it wasn't scalding anymore.

"So what about you?" Axel asked. "What's your family like?" Roxas pursed his lips. He had a feeling he'd have a lot less to tell than Axel did.

"WelI I have a sister… I think I may have mentioned her before..." The first day they met. For some reason the memory got his stomach feeling weird again. "We're twins but I'm older than her by a little... And we're pretty close.." He smiled softly. "My parents… They were uh…Both a bit… Judgmental." He fiddled with the paper on his coffee cup, tearing it away and ripping it into pieces. "I'm close to my cousin too. We're all the same age; he, my sister and I. We all grew up together." Axel whistled, impressed.

"That's pretty cool, I didn't know you had a twin. You two look alike?" Roxas nodded. "Damn. So do the two of you have twin telepathy?" Roxas snorted.

"No, unfortunately I have to actually track her down when I need her worldly advice." Axel nodded, taking a sip of his drink.

"Sounds like you and your sister are the opposite of me and mine." He smirked around his coffee cup. "The day Kairi gives offers me advice on anything is the day hell freezes over." That made Roxas laugh.

He was still hesitant, still afraid that he would say the wrong thing, but he still had lingering questions that demanded answering.

"Do you… Remember the night we met at all?" Roxas had been struggling and struggling to grasp the elusive memories, but to no avail.. "I don't remember it one bit...I still don't know if I ended up saying something embarrassing…" He laughed nervously. Axel's shoulders stiffened, his body almost rigid, but it seemed as if he was still trying to play it cool.

"I remember some…." He seemed cautious, apparently afraid to expand for fear he'd say something wrong. 'What a pair we make…' Roxas mused to himself. "You uh… You didn't say anything embarrassing." He continued, rubbed the back of his neck. "You were slurring your words a lot so if you did say something I could hold against you I didn't notice." He wasn't quite meeting Roxas' eyes. He was holding something back… There was still something he wasn't saying.. "'Sides, I was pretty wasted too, so…"

"You said I mentioned Hayner?" He prompted. "That morning, you said I mentioned Hayner." Axel's lips were pressed in a firm line.

"Yeah… You did. Only to me though… When I first started talking to you. Before I came over you were in your own little corner keeping to yourself." The redhead laughed, and it sounded a bit forced. "You just told me that um… That someone named Hayner was the reason you were drinking your weight in liquor." It was not very different from the story he'd gotten that morning, however it still filled the blond with misery and dread. Roxas groaned, placing his head in his hands.

"God I'm an idiot…" He again felt extremely lucky it was Axel who found him in that state and not someone he knew. Or worse, someone with ulterior motives. "That is why I never drink." He mumbled into his hands. Reaching a lanky arm over the table, the redhead pat the shorter male's shoulder consolingly.

"Hey, you only ever said anything to me and who would I tell?" The redhead offered a reassuring smile. "Besides, I was pretty plastered too so I honestly barely remember anything you might have told me." Roxas felt a sigh of relief escape his lips, feeling himself relax again. Axel hummed in thought. "You know, even though it was a little bit of a clusterfuck, I'm pretty glad my buddies ditched me that night. If they drove me home like they'd said they would, I wouldn't have been able to be your very wasted knight in shining armor." One look at that charming smile and any regret Roxas felt began to fade.

"You sure you stepped in just because you thought I needed rescuing?" The blond smirked, taking a swig of his drink.

"Well, the initial approach may have been because I thought you were attractive." Axel grinned slyly. "But what can I say, I'm a softie. I couldn't just leave you to your own devices."

Roxas felt his stomach flip flop and struggled intensely with keeping his heart from exploding in his chest. 'Though if I did have some sort of coronary, an EMT would be the best company to have.' He thought to himself.

"So you were trying to pick me up." The blond's lips quirked into an amused smile. Axel merely shrugged.

"The devil is in the details. The point is I decided against picking you up in favor of getting you somewhere you could throw up with dignity." He paused before adding, "Though I suppose the place I picked out sort of turned out to be a shithole anyway." It sounded more like Axel was thinking aloud now rather than speaking directly to Roxas..

"Thank you for thinking of my dignity." Roxas snorted. Axel waved it off as if it were no trouble at all, which was certainly untrue. The blond wrinkled his nose. "Wait, did I really puke?" The redhead nodded.

"Sure did, only once at the club though. You did the rest of your puking in our room. You looked so green during the ride to the hotel I thought you'd definitely lose your lunch right there in the cab. You toughed it out though." Axel had a fond look on his face, as if he were recalling a nice memory rather than reminding Roxas exactly why he should never, ever drink something even mildly alcoholic again. He couldn't hold his alcohol at all, he made an awkward and sick drunk. He made a face.

"That's gross." Roxas wished that they'd met under different conditions. He couldn't at all imagine anything attractive about a pukey drunken mess. "Sorry you had to see that…"

Axel shook his head. "Nothing I haven't seen before. In my line of work puke is one of the lesser evils. I'd take a pukey drunk any day." Axel had helped to partially alleviate his embarrassment. He didn't think he'd stop kicking himself for his drunken behavior any time soon, though.

"Well… I'm glad, then." It was a quiet reply, but Axel seemed to hear it, smiling widely in response. This only served to make Roxas' mouth dry and his head spin. Did he mean to look that handsome? Was he trying to kill him? "Um… So how was the rest of your day? Other than your brother?" Roxas could hear his heartbeat thrumming in his ears, too fast and too loud. He hoped Axel couldn't hear… 'God what a lame subject change. Worst subject change ever….' The redhead snorted.

"Pretty uneventful. Arguing with my brother really took up most of it." He paused before correcting his previous statement. "Well, some lady's cat stepped on her life alert button. We got there and she was confused but perfectly fine. That was pretty funny. Oh and apparently Kairi's been seeing someone so as her big brother, I, of course had to tease her mercilessly about it." Axel's grin had turned wicked. Roxas felt himself laugh an honest to goodness real laugh. Not fake, not forced, one hundred percent real. Because he'd met Kairi he could imagine the siblings and it was such a funny thing to imagine. This ridiculously tall man acting so childish with his sister.

"I imagine that didn't go over well." Roxas smiled, feeling himself lean forward now instead of staying frozen in his seat. Axel shrugged.

"She got all flustered and told me to drop it or she'd bring up my love life." He waggled his eyebrows suggestively. The blond felt his breath catch. Shit. Why was his body betraying him like this?

"Your love life?" Roxas snorted, glad he didn't sound like a big nervous baby anymore. He wanted a chance to be flirty too, damn it. "And what might that be like?" Axel heaved a long sigh, resting his chin on his hands.

"Rather stale, I'm afraid." He shook his head in mock disappointment. "There's someone I'm very interested, but alas, I just can't get a good read on 'im." He was looking Roxas dead in the eye now and the blond felt like squirming under the intense gaze. Captivating viridian bore into him as if perhaps the redhead could see right through him. Roxas gulped.

"Y-yeah? That sounds…" His could feel his face heating up again. He licked his lips nervously before finishing the thought. "Sounds rough. Does this person uh… Know how you feel?" He felt like a bit of a hypocrite asking such a thing… After all he'd probably never tell Hayner how he felt. In fact being here, to him, almost felt like a betrayal of the feelings he felt for his friend. Was he really that shallow that he could be interested in someone else? Was it that he was trying to fill the void Hayner was leaving by getting married?

"Well I keep dropping hints…" Axel began, leaning forward as if perhaps this was some sort of secret. "But I'm not sure any of them are getting through to him." He smiled ruefully. "Or maybe he is picking them up and just pretending they were never there in the first place." He shrugged. "But I'll keep it up regardless of if he acknowledges me or not. I'm not the type to give up that easily."

Roxas felt as if his heart was in a vice, being squished and squeezed until it liquefied and rose to become the lump in his throat.

"I think…" He took a deep breath. "I think they've probably gotten the hint. You're not that subtle." Roxas didn't know why he was letting this happen. Half of him felt this was wrong, after all he still felt… Strong... Feelings for someone else.. Everything was moving so fast he hardly knew what to do with himself.

Maybe… Maybe if he let this happen it would burn itself out…

And then he'd be alone again. Alone to suffer his feelings in silence as he helped plan a wedding for someone he desperately didn't want to lose.

They were both leaning rather close to one another now, and Roxas was having a hard time tearing his eyes away from Axel, examining his features much like he had the morning they met.

Only now the face he'd already found quite attractive suddenly seemed moreso. It was pale and angular, with those green eyes that were impossible to look away from. Now he'd even grown to like the striking tattoos resting beneath those eyes. They suited the redhead's character and made him look almost... Exotic. How this could be he had no clue, but facts were facts. His eyes swept over the man's face, taking in each feature, and found themselves stopping at the redhead's lips.

The kiss they'd shared came to mind, impromptu but very…. Nice. He wondered what it would be like to kiss Axel again. In fact… It suddenly seemed like a very good idea. Looking around to assess if there was anyone around to see them, he leaned further in and gave the redhead a quick peck on the lips. Pulling back he decided that, while it wasn't the same as their previous kiss, it was still very good.

Besides, it was his turn to take initiative.

The look on Axel's face was almost comical. His eyes were wide with surprise and his jaw was slack. Roxas felt a surge of pride, he'd managed to shock someone who was almost irritatingly collected.

"Y-you…" It seemed the taller man was tongue tied. "Why did you…?" Roxas shrugged noncommittally.

"I felt like it." He pursed his lips in thought. "I mean it isn't the first time we've kissed and it just… Seemed like a good idea." It wasn't even a very good kiss, Roxas thought to himself. He probably could have given a better one. Axel just blinked, as if he were trying to process this information.

"You… Felt like it…" The man sounded stunned and almost disbelieving.

"I'm not very good at flirting." The blond explained. "I'm not good at thinking of pick up lines or clever things to say, and when I do I… Can't really bring myself to say them. I suppose I have a tendency to overthink things…" That made Axel chuckle.

"I've sort of noticed." This earned a glare from the blond, who decided that the thought was worth continuing, even if Axel was a dope.

"When it comes to things like this I think I'm much better at expressing my desire through actions better than words." He wasn't quite able to pinpoint all of his feelings, but desire was one he could definitely pin down. Axel cleared his throat, attempting to speak again.

"So… Your desire, huh?" He subconsciously brushed his lips with careful fingers, a confused look still plastered across his face. Roxas began twiddling his thumbs nervously.

"Y-yes…" He bit his lip. "I'm… Confused. About a lot of things..." The blond admitted. "But… But I knew that I wanted to kiss you." His face had contorted itself in a small frown as he thought of the right way to voice his feelings. "I wasn't confused about that. I remembered what it was like and I- I really wanted to do it again." He felt like a huge dork explaining himself like this. In fact he hadn't really meant for all of that to slip out. His face must have been beet red at this point. Axel however, had a huge grin on his face.

"Well… Now that I've been made aware, would you like to try it again? I think it'll be a bit more like last time if I actually participated." The look in the redhead's eyes sent a shiver down Roxas' spine. It was a hungry look, and it was directed towards him. Nodding slowly, he didn't have any time to reply before he was pulled into a searingly hot kiss. It wasn't an easy task, kissing someone from across a table, but Axel seemed intent on making it work, propping himself up with one elbow while the other hand tangled itself in Roxas' hair.

The blond was quite happy with this situation, even though he had to stand up a bit so he could tangle both of his hands in the other man's wild mane of hair. Finally his mind would no longer be plagued by thoughts of this. The soft press of Axel's lips to his, the feeling of being so close as if there were nothing separating them at all, it reminded him so much of the first time this happened.

They were in a public setting, and on most occasions he wouldn't dream of kissing someone where other people could possibly watch. Usually he avoided public displays of affection like the plague, but right now he was far too eager to give in to the pleasure of the feeling he'd been craving ever since the first time they did this. Besides, The cafe was empty at the moment and that was as good a reason as any to bend the rule.

It was passionate and wonderful and both of them seemed just fine with letting it go on for as long as possible, lazily relishing kiss after kiss in a haze of utter contentment. Unfortunately all good things must come to an end, and after noticing that there were other patrons entering the cafe, and the barista was returning to her post he pulled back abruptly. He tried his best not to look flushed, especially since he had a feeling he was looking a bit unkempt with Axel having been messing up his already messy hair.

Not that he didn't enjoy it...

Axel raised an eyebrow and Roxas nodded toward the two middle aged women who were currently in the middle of placing their orders. Understanding washed over the redhead's features and he pulled back. Slightly.

"You're a good kisser…" Roxas noted absentmindedly, still struggling to get a satisfying amount of air into his lungs, especially after the bolt of panic hit him at the thought of people actually seeing them. This made the redhead chuckle warmly.

"It takes two." He winked, lips curling into a catlike smile. They were still glistening with saliva, Roxas noticed, feeling warmth gather in the pit of his stomach.

Fuck… He really wanted to kiss Axel again, but that was simply out of the question now that the two women had taken a seat, apparently unwilling to chat standing up, damn them. Besides, this was supposed to be a date, not an endless makeout session. Though they had already gotten a good deal of small talk out of the way… Maybe it wouldn't be that bad if they kissed again. Just one more time… He'd just have to go about it subtly.

"H-how is your coffee?" The blond asked weakly. The temptation of tongueing the everloving shit out of Axel's mouth was too much to ignore. He had wanted this to be a nice, normal date but that just wasn't in the cards apparently. His coherent brain was screaming for him to leave before anything regrettable should occur, but for some reason the coherent part of his brain didn't hold much sway right now.

The taller man took a swig before placing his cup back on the table rather abruptly.

"Gone, now." The corners of his mouth quirked into a mischievous smirk. Maybe he'd guessed Roxas' plan. Maybe he just always had something up his sleeve. "Yours?" This wasn't helping change Roxas' train of thought at all. In fact his brain had begun putting together rather… Erotic scenarios. The blond quickly realized that whatever happened next was entirely on him, and his libido wouldn't be calming itself anytime soon.

Taking his drink he gulped down the entire thing before placing the empty cup back on the table with a smack. Axel had raised an eyebrow, apparently intrigued by Roxas' behavior.

"Gone." Hand reaching over the space between them, the blonde cupped the other male's cheek, leaning in while leaving just enough room that no one would ask any questions. "How much space do you have in your car." He inquired, causing Axel to raise an eyebrow.

"A decent amount." The redhead answered. "Why, may I ask, are you asking about my car?" Roxas took a deep breath, praying his answer didn't sound as weak as he felt.

"I was just thinking…" Roxas prayed he could find the willpower to sound seductive instead of just nervous or lame. After all, he'd given himself up to his libido long before he thought of this suggestion. "We might not want to continue this in public, with a table between us." Axel's grin was absolutely wicked, not at all helping to calm the desire boiling in the blond's stomach.

"In that case I have plenty of room." The taller man had apparently gotten the hint. Standing quite abruptly, Roxas began slowly heading for the door.

Turning to Axel he asked, "Well, aren't you coming?" Bit by bit he could feel himself growing more and more confident.. Maybe this wouldn't be so hard after all. The redhead practically tripped over himself catching up to Roxas, only serving to build the blond's self confidence all the more. Waiting for Axel to catch up didn't take long at all. Those long, long, legs of his seemed very good at getting places quickly without any undue effort.

"If you'd follow me I can let you take a look at my car so you can decide whether or not the amount of space is sufficient." Axel suggested, now taking the lead. Roxas followed silently, his mind's only goal was being close to Axel. His normal self would have had none of this, but he was done listening to his normal self for today. His normal self would probably give him what for later, but now he was perfectly fine with letting himself be spontaneous for once and dealing with his normal, more reasonable self later.

Following Axel to the small parking lot that seemed to be shared between the coffee shop and the thrift store next door, each separated by this lot, they stopped in front of a slightly scuffed silver sedan. As dinged and dented as it was, it at least looked as if it might run properly. Axel swept his hand out dramatically as if to show off the rather sad looking vehicle. It sort of reminded him the state of Axel's cell phone the morning they met, though this car wasn't nearly as bad.

"Here it is. Feel free to look it over, check if the amount of space is suitable." He had a broad smile on his face, as if he knew exactly was going on but thought just playing along was much more fun.

Roxas was determined to keep the game going as long as possible.

Slowly walking around the vehicle, he pretended to examine it. He even added a few hems and haws here and there for maximum authenticity. This seemed to amuse Axel, who was currently leaning against the car parked beside his. Roxas sighed, tapping his chin in mock thought.

"It looks acceptable, but I think I'll have to see the inside first." Breaking character, he turned to give Axel a sly grin. The redhead snorted, waltzing over to the back passenger door and opening it. Offering a wide smile, he pretended to show off the amenities of the very beat up sedan.

"Oh certainly. Here you can see the back seats as well as the extra garbage on the floor. Included with no extra cost." This made Roxas crack, unable to contain his giggling. "Very roomy. Makes all the neighborhood kids so jealous they take the express time out of their day to key it." Axel continued. "An exceptional specimen if I do say so myself." Roxas had to struggle to quit laughing so he could form an answer. After catching his breath and gathering himself as best he could, he was finally able to form a reply. Humming in thought he pretended to consider.

"Well I suppose it will do." Roxas sighed, climbing into the vehicle's back seat for 'further inspection'. This of course made Axel chuckle.

"I'm glad it meets your expectations. Now that I've shown you my car, what may I ask are you going to do with it?" The redhead inquired, one eyebrow quirked in curiousity. Roxas' answering smile was a mischievous one as he patted the seat beside him. He waited patiently for the redhead to slide in next to him and close the door before throwing his arms around the man's neck and locking their lips in another kiss.

Axel made a surprised noise, but accepted the advance with vigor, apparently determined not to just sit there in shock and waste a perfectly good kiss. Roxas felt a pleased sound escape from deep in his throat.

This plan had gone perfectly, a good deal due to Axel deciding to play along which only served to further endear him to the blond. He hadn't had a chance to be silly in a very long time. Trying to keep so many secrets and hold up so many fronts had weighed him down more than he'd realized.

Scooting back to make things a little more comfortable, he pulled Axel closer so that now due to the lack of space the man was practically on top of him. He refused to break the kiss as he did this, however, practically dragging the taller man along with him. The redhead chuckled into the kiss as he tangled long fingers in soft golden locks, apparently just as intent on not breaking the kiss until they were completely out of oxygen.

If Roxas thought their previous kisses were intense, now they seemed chaste in comparison to this. Perhaps it was due to the fact that their bodies were for the most part pressed completely together now, or maybe it was because Axel was nipping insistently at his bottom lip. Which of course caused Roxas to part his lips and allow the probing tongue to explore the blond's mouth.

Roxas decided that he would not just sit there passively, allowing his tongue to carefully respond. The blond was completely captivated by Axel. Whenever he took a breath he was overwhelmed by the man's scent, no longer tainted by the smell of dish soap. It was spicy and masculine and for some reason Roxas couldn't get enough of it.

Pulling away to draw in a deep breath, he nearly released a yelp of surprise. Axel had apparently decided to entertain himself by placing warm, sucking kisses along his jaw bone and down his neck. Squirming a bit under the ministrations, Roxas apparently didn't have enough self control to hold back the pleasured moan that escaped his kiss reddened lips.

Embarrassed, he quickly clamped a hand over his mouth to prevent it from betraying him further. Pulling back to meet Roxas' eyes and blessedly ceasing those tantalizing kisses, the redhead have the shorter male a puzzled look. He could feel his face heating up. Axel chuckled and Roxas had a feeling his face was as red Axel's hair.

"What're you doing that for?" The redhead quirked an eyebrow. Realizing he still had his hand covering his mouth, he quickly removed it, trying to think of an explanation that didn't sound stupid.

"I…" Shit. This was it. He was going to die of embarrassment. "Why did you do that?" He demanded.

"Do what?" Axel offered a beatific smile, feigning ignorance. This only served to fluster Roxas all the more.

"You know what!" He snapped. The look on Axel's face didn't bode well for Roxas. There was mischief in those green, green eyes.

"Oh, you must mean this." Leaning in he nuzzled into the crook of Roxas' neck. The blond could feel his hot mouth latching himself to the junction between his neck and shoulder. It seemed Axel liked the reaction he received when Roxas' gasp turning into a guttural groan. This time he didn't cover it time, leaning his neck back to give the redhead more access to the sensitive area.

Until now he didn't even know he was sensitive there.

Resigned to his fate and refusing to admit that he was enjoying the feeling of his neck being ravaged, he contented himself with running his fingers through soft red locks, one arm still hooked around the man's neck to keep him firmly in place. He bit his lip harshly to prevent anymore embarrassing noises from slipping out.

Roxas could feel kisses trailing back up now, stopping when they got to the hollow behind his ear.

"I'm beginning to miss your grouching." Axel murmured, nuzzling his nose into skin that would surely be bruised tomorrow. Pulling back to actually look at the tortured blond, he sighed, shaking his head. "Damn, you didn't have to destroy your lip."

A gentle hand cupped Roxas' face as the redhead freed his abused bottom lip with his thumb.

"It's your fault." He grumbled, melting into the touch in spite of himself. He really wanted to be grumpy, but his stupid body wasn't cooperating. Axel just smiled that stupid smile, leaning in so their foreheads touched. That dumb grin was contagious, damn it. Roxas could feel his lips curling into a smile of their own.

"How is it my fault? I'm always delighted to hear what comes out of your mouth." Axel's voice was smooth as silk and absolutely sinful. It was unfair. The taller male didn't seem to care about how terribly unfair he was being however when he leaned down and placed a soft kiss on Roxas' lips.

"Mm… You're seducing me." Roxas groused between kisses, but Axel could no doubt feel the quirk of Roxas' lips, however, making the tone of his voice completely moot. This made the redhead snort, pulling back to look at Roxas with a goofy grin.

"I think we're a little past seduction, don't you?" He chuckled and Roxas huffed. He had a point. And it had sort of been his idea, if flawed and not very well thought out. Though all he'd been planning was a great deal of making out. It seemed like now he'd be getting a little more than that.

Not that he was complaining.

But instead of continuing his assault on the Roxas' neck and mouth, the redhead instead busied himself with toying with the blond's hair, curling golden strands around long fingers. "Of course we could always stop." He suggested with a half shrug.

He said this in a genial, carefree matter. As if he didn't care one way or another. Or, really like he was giving Roxas an out, a way to escape this situation and forget entirely.

Only he highly doubted he'd be able to forget this no matter how hard he might try. And if he truly had to admit, he didn't really want this to stop. Especially now that he was already half hard due to all the attention Axel had been paying to his neck. Sure this wasn''t exactly how he planned it, but he sure as hell wasn't about to stop now.

Yes, he'd probably agonize over this decision later but right now… Right now he decided he liked where this was going, wherever that was. Roxas rolled his eyes and threw both arms around the other male's neck again, pulling him close.

"You already seduced me." He kissed the corner of Axel's mouth before pulling back with what he hoped was a sexy smirk. He prayed to every deity in the known universe he didn't end up making this awkward. "There's no use going back now."

It seemed like whatever charm Roxas was trying to muster worked. Axel offered a crooked smile before leaning back in to press his lips back to Roxas' for more slow, lazy kisses. His hands however, seemed to have something else in mind entirely. While the redhead's mouth seemed perfectly fine with languid exploratory kisses, his hands had begun creeping up the other male's shirt. Warm hands ghosted over the flat plane of his stomach and gentle fingers traced his ribcage.

If Roxas had to be completely honest, it was actually kind of nice. It wasn't hasty, he didn't feel rushed. Sure, it was agonizing, sure it was driving him a little crazy, and sure he almost wanted to just yell at Axel to do something already, but he was enjoying himself nonetheless.

There was, however the issue of the increasing pressure in his pants, which was growing rather urgent now that Axel's feathering touches had explored just about every inch of his torso and seemed intent on spreading their tantalizing warmth everywhere they could reach. Deciding to speed up the process a bit, the blond's arms moved from where they were hooked around the taller man's neck and moved to snake themselves around his waist, pulling him further down so they were pressed flush together.

Axel hummed into the kiss before pulling away with a smirk. They were still close enough that Roxas could feel the man's warm breath against his lips.

"Getting a little impatient, aren't we?" He teased. Roxas rolled his eyes, deciding a much better place to rest his hands would be on Axel's backside.

"No, I just thought you were going too slow." He was surprised he was able to sound sarcastic when his brain felt like complete mush. Now that he'd pulled Axel on top of him completely he could feel that the redhead was just as hard as he was.

It was frustrating how well he kept his composure, though perhaps years of celibacy were why Roxas had trouble keeping with this leisurely pace.

Axel blinked, clearly taken aback by the sudden forwardness. Judging by the grin overtaking his features, however, it apparently wasn't unwelcome.

"Terribly sorry then." He closed the short distance with another kiss, quick and invasive. The kiss itself was fine, just as good as every one of their kisses had been. Roxas was quite with the tangling of tongues that was occurring. What was more than fine, more than good, more than wonderful was the way Axel rolled his hips, grinding their clothed arousals together and causing Roxas to moan unabashedly into the other man's mouth. This was perfect, Roxas could get used to this. Suddenly Axel pulled back, looking pensive.

"What is it?" The irritation was evident in Roxas' breathless voice. "Axel if you don't do something soon I swear to god…"

"I was only thinking…" He began, causing the blond to huff.

"What could you be thinking about at a time like this?" The shorter male nuzzled his face in the crook of Axel's neck. "This is not a time to be thinking." He continued testily. Axel snorted.

"I was thinking that maybe my car isn't as roomy as I originally anticipated." Roxas groaned.

"What are you talking about?" He was frustrated and horny and Axel seemed to be talking absolute nonsense when they could both be getting off right now. The redhead offered an explanation, but not before sneaking a hand back underneath Roxas' shirt to draw intangible designs on his stomach with warm fingers.

"I'm saying my car had a fine amount of room when we were just using it to make out in, but anything past that, well I just think we'll have a hard time." He shrugged and Roxas groaned, rubbing his face in frustration. He hadn't gotten this much action in years. His brain had long since packed its bags and skipped town in favor of letting carnal desires he didn't even know he still had take the wheel. He was not about to be cockblocked by lack of space.

Wrapping his arms around Axel's neck he pulled the man close again as he trailed hot kisses along his jawline, bucking his hips in an attempt to recreate that sinful friction. The redhead groaned deep in his throat, the vibrations of which Roxas could feel beneath his lips. He took this as incentive to continue his ministrations, stopping briefly to whisper hotly into his lover's ear.

"We can find something to do, can't we?" He nuzzled and mouthed the abused skin of Axel's neck. The redhead nodded, eyes closed and still clearly savoring the kisses. They were both going to have hickies after this….

It seemed almost immediate after Axel had snapped out of his trance that Roxas was pulled into another slow, comfortable kiss. Kissing Axel had grown into somewhat of an addiction for Roxas. He could never get enough of his kisses, and when he was away from them they were all he could really think about. It was during these kisses that Roxas had been forced into this moment of clarity. Not that he really minded, he supposed there were worse things to be addicted to. He could think of the ramifications of such an addiction later.

Even through the long, wonderful kiss, however, Roxas was keenly aware of what the man's hands were doing. Long dexterous fingers were nimbly working to unbutton and unzip both of their pants. A feat, really, considering how closely they were pressed together. Gently shifting to allow the man a bit more room to work, he could feel fabric being shoved away and the pressure of his pants releasing.

At this point he would have been extra self conscious or hyper aware of what was going on beneath him if he wasn't so damn distracted by that stupid sexy kiss. It wasn't until, finally, he could feel the wickedly, wonderfully perfect feeling of skin against skin that he had to break the kiss to gasp and shudder into Axel's mouth.

This time when they rocked their bodies together Roxas thought he would die right then and there. And then they did it again, and again, faster, and faster until Roxas was absolutely trembling. Each time he could only cling to Axel and make embarrassing noises. The kisses never ceased as the man wrapped a big warm hand around both of their arousals and began stroking.

Between the stroking and the thrusting and the definite crying out of Axel's name, the blond was sure he was going to pass out from the pleasure.

This was what happened when one jumped right back into the game after being celibate for three years.

Skin against skin, that big warm hand wrapped around his cock, jerking them both off together… It was too sexy to think about and really too much to take,in general. This was the kind of thing Roxas fantasized about, not the kind of thing he experienced.

Face pressed into the crook of Axel's neck he let pleasure overtake him entirely, gasping and trembling as he rode out the best orgasm he could ever remember having in his entire life.

He also may have blacked out, just a little. When he came to, he was on top of Axel, who was idly playing with his hair. The redhead had a cautious look on his face, one he immediately tried to mask with a smile once Roxas began to stir.

"Didn't want to smoosh you." Axel explained. "You don't want my deadweight on top of you. I'd crush you for sure." The blond snorted, snuggling into the taller man's shoulder. He was tired.

"How thoughtful." He sighed, closing his eyes. He could feel long fingers combing through his hair again and knew for a fact he wouldn't be able to stay awake through that. Suddenly the shrill ring of his cell startled him awake. Looking at the device he sighed, laying back down on Axel's shoulder.

"Aren't you gonna' take that?" The redhead asked, nervously eyeing the phone.

"I need a nap before I deal with whoever that is." Roxas decided, closing his eyes and inhaling Axel's comforting scent. He could deal with what just happened and whoever just tried to call when he woke up.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: Sorry this is so late, I got a full time job so I don’t have nearly as much free time as I did before. But I won’t let either of my fics fall into hiatus hell so I’ll do my very best to keep on updating even if I probably can’t do it as regularly anymore. And of course thank you for the comments and kudos, they help me get my ass in gear and write.

Roxas wasn’t used to waking up in unfamiliar places. He had had this confirmed rather recently during the hotel incident. It always gave him a bit of a shock when he wasn’t lying in his warm, comfortable double bed in his neat, tidy little bedroom. But he was warm and he was comfortable and so he accepted it, for just a few more minutes. It wouldn’t kill him to rest just a little longer before actually investigating his whereabouts.

  
That was until he felt the distinct feeling of a heartbeat under splayed fingers and his brain decidedly to kindly supply him with a vivid account of how he came to be where he was, which was incidentally wrapped in the warm embrace of a redhead who would usually be talking his ear off. This almost made him scream. Said redhead was blessedly silent now, which was good because Roxas felt so awkward and embarrassed he was doubting whether he would be able to make much conversation.

Axel was still asleep, long arms draped over Roxas’ smaller frame. They were both covered in a worn blanket Roxas had never seen before, though it seemed to be having trouble covering all of the other man’s long frame.

If forced to admit it, Roxas was quite comfortable in this position, he hadn’t been embraced like this in a very long time. However, now that he was awake and aware of his surroundings he was also all too aware of the events that lead him there. Face burning crimson he was furious that he’d just… Listened to his libido like that. To have relations of the… Sexual… Nature with a man he’d only known for two weeks. In the back seat of a  _ car  _ no less! 

This was the sort of thing horny high schoolers did to keep their parents from finding out that they weren’t as virtuous as they seemed, not grown men who knew better and could control such carnal urges. But apparently, it seemed, he  _ didn’t  _ know better and  _ couldn’t _ control such carnal urges.

It was definitely not how he had imagined his day going. Not at all. He had anticipated maybe a little making out but  _ this _ … This had been the furthest thing from his mind. Well, maybe not the  _ furthest,  _ but how he’d allowed himself actually to do something like this was entirely beyond him.

Carefully trying to remove himself from the warm arms holding him into place, he happened to catch sight of the sleeping man’s face. It was completely still and relaxed, exactly like the first time he’d seen it. Part of him, a very small, stupid one, wanted to reach out and trace every feature on that peaceful looking face. His neck was mottled with budding kiss marks… Oh god those were Roxas’ fault, weren’t they?

Shit if Axel’s neck looked like that, what did Roxas’ look like? He couldn’t go into work covered in hickeys! And what would his friends say? Or his  _ sister _ ? They’d definitely ask questions.

This was bad, this was really bad. Roxas should never have let it get this far. Making out with the guy, well, that was bad enough, but this? This was something he’d never done with  _ anybody _ … Having… Relations with someone on a whim. His actions were always calculated, always thought out beforehand. Whatever thought he put into this wasn’t logical at all.

  
Roxas really wanted to feel disgust or regret but the feeling… Never came. At least, not in full. He felt ashamed of himself, acting like a horny teenager when he was twenty five years old, damn it,  but when he thought about what happened between he and Axel there just wasn’t any regret or disgust to be found. When he thought about it he probably could have done worse than Axel. Axel, at least was personable  _ and _ good looking. 

Really the only thing he felt was anger. Anger with himself for being so weak, for acting so reprehensibly, for giving in to such simple impulses. For taking his feelings out on a someone who had nothing to do with them.

He’d managed to peel one comfortable arm away when the warm figure beneath him began to stir. The blond froze. This was wrong, he was supposed to have more time to escape! How was he supposed to face Axel now?

  
The arm that Axel once had draped around him moved to groggily rub his face. Blinking open stunning green he looked almost shocked for a moment before realization seemed to set in. Roxas was still frozen stiff, mind racing.

  
“Guess I fell asleep too…” The redhead mumbled, making no remark regarding why or how they had gotten to be where they were at the moment.

  
“Where’d the blanket come from?” Roxas dared to ask, finding himself unable to relax.

  
“Oh!” Axel seemed surprised there even  _ was _ a blanket, as if perhaps it was just something he’d grabbed in his sleep. “I keep that so I can take naps in my car between shifts. Came in handy, I guess.” He laughed. Roxas sighed, resting his head on the taller man’s shoulder once more. It seemed escape was moot at this point.

“You’re so weird.” For some reason it came out sounding like a strange sort of compliment.

“Guess so. But if I was normal then I’d be like everyone else. Variety is the spice of life, Roxas.” Axel waggled his brows, causing the blond to smack him.

“Dork.” He snorted. The redhead shrugged, slightly displacing Roxas with the motion.

“Sticks and stones.” He sang, causing blue eyes to roll. It was too easy to forget himself around Axel… It was that stupid charm that lured him here in the first place. Even though to be fair it was originally Roxas’ idea. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

He then happened to catch sight of his phone, vaguely remembering that he had let a call go before taking his nap. He should probably check to see who it was that had called him...

Roxas reached over and grabbed it from where it had fallen on the garbage ridden floor.

Feeling his stomach turn to ice he saw that only one person had called him, and apparently had tried to get through multiple times after he’d silenced his phone. He had four missed calls and one voicemail, all from Hayner. He was beginning to feel sick as the guilt washed over him in waves. Feeling panic mixed with curiosity settle uneasily in his gut he began to listen, his distraught friend’s voice only serving to make him feel all the worse.

Roxas’ muddled, guilt ridden brain was only able to pick out fragments of the broken voice over the speaker, his entire body growing numb.

“ _ Had a fight” _

_ “Gone to stay with Selphie...” _

_ “Don’t know when she’ll come back” _

_ “Don’t even know if there’ll  _ be _ a wedding now... _

Roxas was the reliable friend. Steadfast and always there, but where was he now? Half fucking someone in the back seat of a  _ car?  _ Granted this wasn’t a stranger, Axel had by now surpassed acquaintance and was hedging on friend territory, but it still looked very, very bad in Roxas’ mind. This hadn’t been thought out, this hadn’t been planned, this was an act done completely on a stupid, stupid whim. No forethought went into any of this at all and Roxas just… Didn’t operate that way. He wasn’t  _ like  _ that. He was dependable, he was thoughtful, he was meticulous, what he’d done was an utter mystery to him.

Once again his brain was at war with itself over the whys and the hows. He knew he liked Axel but did he like Axel  _ that _ much? Was he moving on or filling a void? Why were his feelings so muddled, why was he just so… Confused?

He still couldn’t be sure if he was only doing all these things in a vain attempt to forget, or if he actually  _ was _ finally moving on. In that case what did he want with Axel? Axel had made becoming friends so incredibly easy, and it wasn’t hard to see that he had the ability to be quite charming. The redhead also made it clear that he was interested in Roxas, which was surely something to take into consideration.

However if he was just using all of this to distract himself and forget what he felt for Hayner, he was really just selfishly leading Axel on. It would be easy to write the words off as the man voicing his desire, but how was he to know what the redhead  _ really _ felt?

All of this was utterly foolish, from the night he met Axel until now. He felt as if he’d only been making one poor decision after another… 

“Bad news?” The other man’s voice seemed to forcibly pull Roxas out of his spiral of self-deprecation and bring him back to the present situation. That being that he was still nestled comfortably in the redhead’s arms as his thoughts ran away from him. 

“Uh yeah…” The blonde could feel the warm arm that had previously been wrapped loosely around his waist retreating. “I guess my friends can’t go a day without my worldly advice.” He forced a laugh, trying to lighten the mood. Axel didn’t look convinced, but sat up regardless, jostling Roxas from where he’d previously been frozen.

“Well who am I to monopolize you, then.” He smiled warmly, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes. Roxas slowly righted himself, feeling the ragged blanket fall from where it had been resting on his shoulders. The redhead was kind enough to wordlessly help him gather his things, the look on his face impossible to read. As Roxas exited the car, however, he was yanked down by the collar of his shirt as a chaste kiss was pressed on the corner of his mouth. Touching his lips in shock, he could see resolution reflected in venomously green eyes. “Make sure to tell me how it goes.” He added before allowing the blond to walk back to his own car. 

Roxas didn’t know who to call first. It was obvious that Hayner really did need him, and though he hated how petty and all around terrible it was, there was a small part of him that was a bit glad Olette had left. He really liked Olette, she was sweet and friendly and fun to talk to, but the selfish, stingy part of him wanted to keep he and Hayner’s relationship exactly how it was. Even if it meant he was constantly left with that tight, yearning feeling in his chest. That relationship would certainly change once Hayner was married, and as awful as it was Roxas still wasn’t able to accept that. 

He never was one who took change well.

He did however feel the need to talk to someone about the inner turmoil that had been causing his stomach to churn from the very moment he returned to his own car.

He certainly didn’t want Hayner to see him like this, both looking  _ and _ acting like a wreck. And he urgently needed to change into a turtleneck. Thus, he decided he could do his venting on the drive back to his apartment and call Hayner back from there.

The moment he heard Xion’s voice over the phone speaker he could feel himself breathe a sigh of relief. Finally he could get a second opinion, or at least a listening ear.

“Roxas, it’s been too long.” Her tone was friendly and just a little bit scolding. He could feel the corners of his mouth twitch, as if it wanted to turn into a smile but didn’t quite know how to successfully pull one off.

“I know, Xi, I’m sorry.” It came out sounding more glum than he meant it to. He heard her sigh.

“Okay, what’s wrong? You’re sounding more pitiful than usual.” Xion, like his sister, was someone who saw right through him whether he liked it or not. Right now though, he was glad. He needed to unload. 

“Xion I think I fucked up bad…” The words spilled from his lips as he gripped his phone tightly with a trembling hand.

“What’s wrong?” The tone of her voice was no longer reprimanding, now it was laden with concern. He felt a little guilty for probably worrying his friend, but if he didn’t let out all these confusing feelings he felt like he’d physically explode.

“I went on a date today and it was going really well and I ruined it, I ruined everything.” The blond felt as if he was on the verge of hyperventilating.

“Okay…” Xion sounded skeptical, as if she were still waiting for what was _ really _ bothering Roxas. “And?”

“And I… We… Pretty much fucked...” Granted it depended on how one defined ‘fucking’ but in Roxas’ mind that counted, damn it. It counted and his stupid mind wouldn’t stop fighting with himself over whether it was a horrible mistake or not. 

Because there was a stubborn part of him that seemed to carry no regret at all.

“ _ You _ fucked someone on the first date?” Xion’s voice was brimming with disbelief. He was getting really sick of people reacting like this. Traffic was at a standstill and Roxas could feel his eyes starting to go blurry from the intensity at which he was staring at the bumper of the car in front of him.

“Yeah? I mean… It isn’t like he’s a stranger… We talk a lot... But-” Xion apparently was too curious to let him actually finish his sentence entirely, interrupting him the first chance she got.

“Wait... Is this the same guy Nami told me about?” She asked, sounding irritatingly excited by the scandal of it all. Roxas could feel the familiar sting of annoyance that he’d come to know with his traitor of a sister. It always irked him when she spilled the beans after swearing her silence. 

“I  _ told  _ Namine not to say anything.” He grit out, gripping the steering wheel with more force than probably necessary. He felt his nails digging into the vinyl.

“And she didn’t. To anyone except me.” Xion replied, as if it were completely obvious and worth no thought at all. “She didn’t even tell Sora anything this time.” Yeah right, like  _ that _ made him feel any better. “You already know she tells me everything, Roxas. We’ve been friends just as long as you and I have.” That was true, but it didn’t make him feel any less angry with his sister for sharing his secrets. 

“I really wish the two of you would stop gossiping behind my back.” He groused, fiddling with the stations on the radio. Anything to keep him busy…

“Ah ah ah- no secrets between friends.” She chided. “You were the one who fibbed about the guy in the first place.” She pointed out, as if the whole thing was  _ his  _ fault. “Who knows, maybe I could have offered some friendly advice.” Roxas rolled his eyes. This was just like her. This was just like  _ them _ . Instead of asking a million questions she instead chastised him for lying. “So, is it the same guy?” She repeated, apparently not willing to let the identity of his fling go.

“Yes, yes, it’s the same one. Geez...” Roxas grumbled, feeling his head start to throb. Why did Xion have to make venting complicated, too? “How much did Namine tell you?”

“Just that you’re a dirty rotten fibber and you’re having boy trouble.” She replied casually. “You know you could have told us the truth.” She almost sounded disapproving. As disapproving as Xion could sound anyway. She was far more calm than his other friends.

“And if I did?” He snapped. “Even if I was completely honest you, do you really think that would have changed anything?” Xion responded by clicking her tongue.

“For one thing we could have kept you from doing anything stupid. If you hadn’t been  _ ignoring _ me I might have been able to think clearly for you since you’re obviously too sexually frustrated to think for yourself.” Apparently she didn’t feel like pulling any punches today.

“I’m  _ not _ sexually frustrated.” He objected, the sound of his blinker starting to grate on his nerves. The fact that Xion could possibly,  _ maybe _ be right was starting to grate on his nerves.

“Not sexually frustrated my butt. You’ve been celibate for so long people would think you were a freakin’ monk.” Fine, she was right damn it. Deep down he had known she was right. Not that he would admit it to her. Or anyone, really.

“The current state of my sex life has nothing to do with this.” He groused. He could practically see his friend rolling her ocean blue eyes at him. 

“Fine, say it wasn’t the fact that you’ve been completely celibate for an insanely long time. I’m still not willing to buy the fact that all the blood that was  _ supposed _ to be supplying your brain didn’t go south for the day, but we’ll forget that for now.” Roxas was very thankful she was dropping the subject of his stale sex life… Or formerly stale sex life, now. He’d forgive her for bringing it up, even if she had also implied that he’d been thinking with his dick that day. “Carry on. You probably just called to vent, after all.” It was hard to believe Xion wasn’t a mind reader sometimes.

“Well it’s just that I… I mean you know…” He fumbled for the right words, still completely at a loss for what he should even do from here on out. It was obvious  _ why  _ he did what he did. Axel was nice and he was good looking…  It was more the how that had lost him. “I mean I didn’t mean for it to… Go  _ that _ far.” He bit his lip hard. “It just happened so fast, we didn’t even discuss protection or if we were clean or…” He took a deep, ragged breath, trying to gain control of his panicked mind. 

“I mean it definitely wouldn’t hurt to get checked. But it sounds to me like you were both just too distracted to think like logically. You’ve known the guy for what, a couple weeks now? Does he give you the vibe that he’d sleep with you if he had something going on?” Xion’s tone was even and non-judgmental, which in turn made Roxas feel a bit more calm. If only a bit.

  
“I mean… No, no he doesn’t.” Axel didn’t seem like the type of person to keep something like that to himself… It didn’t really seem like he kept  _ anything _ to himself. But Axel wouldn’t do something like that, not the same Axel who had drunkenly rescued him even though there was no reason for him to go that out of his way for a complete stranger. Not the same Axel who, while definitely flirtatious, never seemed too pushy. Not the same Axel who, now that he thought of it, gave him the option to back out even though he’d  _ had _ to be just as horny as Roxas was. “But I mean he didn’t ask any questions either…” Xion sighed.

“Probably because all the blood in  _ his _ brain had gone south too. Yeah you were both boneheads for not being careful, but you’d know him better than I would. If he doesn’t give you any weird vibes he’s probably fine. He’s just a boy and boys are dumb when they’re hot and bothered.”   
“

Gee, thanks.” He snorted.  That made Roxas feel a little better though. Even if he still felt like a complete idiot.

“I’m still… Confused.” His voice ended up sounding weaker than he would have liked. He didn’t like whining… Pulling into his building’s parking garage, he ended up just sitting in his car, unwilling and unable to move just yet. “You… Already know how I feel about Hayner.”    


“I’m aware.” There was something gruff about the way she replied. Something unhappy and hard.

“But I went out with Axel anyway… I think he likes me.” Roxas felt a lump forming in his throat, one that he just couldn’t seem to swallow. “But I still have feelings for Hayner and I just… I don’t know what I’m doing, Xi…” His voice cracked miserably. He knew how to turn people down, he’d done it plenty of times. Why then, didn’t he have the sense to turn Axel down? 

Why did he let the man kiss him and hold him when he had been _ so  _ sure about his feelings for someone else? Why did he, himself, initiate these kisses and touches? Why did being in Axel’s arms actually feel so… Nice? Maybe he was just desperate for attention after pining for so long...

“With luck you’re moving on.” Xion’s tone was sharp again. “Hayner doesn’t even know you’re gay, Roxas. You know you’re only causing yourself more pain at this point.” The blond took a shuddering breath. 

“My  _ parents _ don’t even know I’m gay, Xi.” He felt like a coward for only ever having the strength to tell his sister, Sora, and Xion. People he knew, for certain, wouldn’t care one way or another. People who would act like the confession was nothing shocking or special. People who laughed and said they already knew…

His parents still asked if he’d finally found himself a nice girl yet every time he found the courage to visit them

“That’s not my point.” She replied. “You’re pining away for a straight guy. A straight guy who thinks  _ you’re _ straight. Do you really think that that ever, in the history of the  _ world _ , has worked out for anyone?” It was true. It was true and it stung. “I know love works in mysterious ways.” She continued. “And crappy ones at that. But maybe letting go of the torch you carry for Hayner is for the best.” It sounded as if Xion was trying to put it as gently as she could, definitely more gently than his sister would have, but it hurt nonetheless. She was only telling him the truth but it was a truth he’d always dreaded to hear.

“Yeah…” His words sounded as hollow as he felt. “Yeah I know that… Thanks Xi… I’ll talk to you later.”

“Just… Take care of yourself Roxas.” There was something melancholy about the way she said it. 

His apartment was pitch black when he walked through the door. Turning a few lights he hurriedly changed his clothes and dialed Hayner’s number. It rang for a long time, and Roxas was just beginning to think his friend wouldn’t pick up when finally the ringing stopped and he heard Hayner’s unhappy voice greet him.

“Where were you all day?” He asked miserably. Roxas felt a sharp pang of guilt. _ ‘Oh you know just fucking someone in the back of their car…’ _

“I was at work.” He lied. “They made me stay late today… You know how they are.” He laughed, but to him the laughter sounded incredibly phony. Hayner didn’t seem to notice.

“Olette left. Said she saw me with someone else ‘n she had it.... It wasn’ how it looked but she won’ believe me!” His friend sounded absolutely dejected. “You know me, Rox, you know… You know I wouldn’….” It also sounded vaguely like his friend was intoxicated, which was never a good sign. Hayner was almost as bad at holding his alcohol as Roxas was.  _ Almost. _   
  
“Did you tell her it was a misunderstanding?” It seemed like too obvious a question to ask, but Roxas decided he should probably cover all of his bases.

“Of course!” Hayner exclaimed. Roxas listened intently as he struggled to pull the only turtleneck he owned over his head at the same time. “She didn’ believe me! I’ve called her like... A million times but she keeps ignorin’ my calls” Roxas pursed his lips. 

“Where are you?” He finally asked, trying to calm his beating heart.

“Jus’ at home… What’d I do wrong Rox…?” It was sad to hear how small and… Broken his friend sounded. This wasn’t the first time this had happened, and he knew it wouldn’t be the last. His friend probably just needed someone there to tell him that.

“Just stay there, I’ll come by and bring you take out or something.” Roxas replied, pulling his shoes back on and grabbing his keys from the little china bowl on the table by the door. Hayner mumbled something that sounded like unintelligible acquiescence.

Roxas had been to Hayner’s apartment dozens of times, but now that he thought of it, it had been a very long time since he’d come alone. The rest of the gang was always with him, laughing and drinking. For some reason Hayner, Pence, and Olette seemed to always do things as a group. He rarely ever did anything with just one of them. Not like how he could be alone with Xion and be perfectly content with it just being the two of them. The three of them were just… Always one unit. This was why he felt incredibly weird standing outside of this apartment by himself with a bag full chinese of takeout.

When Hayner opened the door Roxas could see his eyes were puffy and red rimmed. His cheeks were looking particularly flushed which seemed to back up Roxas’ guess that his friend was inebriated. 

“Thank’s Rox…” He took the bag off of Roxas’ hands and stumbled back into his dark and cluttered apartment. Apparently Olette had been the one keeping it neat. Switching on the lights he was finally able to see the extent of the disarray, with various clothing items and beer cans littering the living room floor. The sink was stacked high with dirty dishes and the trash can that rested beside the kitchen island was overflowing. 

Hayner seemed to be struggling to handle both the dishes _ and _ the food in his sorry state and Roxas hurried over to lend a hand before something got broken. Once everything was settled on the grubby coffee table Roxas took a seat on the side of the couch that seemed to be free of dirty laundry, pushing it on the already filthy floor to make room for Hayner. His friend flopped beside him, slumping against the armrest pathetically. His limbs were limp like a rag doll’s. He looked utterly dejected and utterly wasted. It made something in Roxas’ chest ache.

“I’m sure she’ll realize all of this was just a misunderstanding…” Roxas offered. He was trying his very best to sound reassuring, for in all their years of friendship he had never seen Hayner look as dismal and defeated as he did right now.

“I dunno what I’m gonna’ do…” His friend groaned. “She was real mad…” Roxas gnawed his lip viciously, grasping for a reply that sounded supportive. One free of sourness… Their close proximity wasn’t helping his situation one bit.

  
“You guys love each other.” The words left a bitter taste in his mouth. “She wouldn’t dump you just like that. Think about all the other times you fought, you always made up again, right?” Hayner’s head lolled as he struggled to took at his friend. Roxas wondered if maybe he should find a trash can in case he started vomiting… 

“Really think that’ll be ‘nuff to make her come back?” This was perhaps the most pitiable Hayner had ever sounded, his words slurred and unhappy. It was painful to see him this way. It was painful to be so close and yet so unable to offer the comfort he so yearned to.

“Definitely.” Roxas found himself replying. “I’m sure by tomorrow she’ll be way less upset. Then you can both work this out with cool heads...” He was by no means actually sure of this, but he wanted Hayner to stop being so… Sad. 

He tried to get his friend to eat something but the man refused, electing to stew in his misery. Eventually after much stewing and much whining he finally fell asleep, curled in a ball with his face pressed into the arm of the worn couch.

It was at this point that Roxas didn’t really know what to do with himself. If he stayed here he would certainly find himself languishing in the misery of unrequited love. Hayner was  _ right  _ there and he hadn’t even the inkling of what Roxas was feeling. Yet he also didn’t like the idea of his friend having to wake up all alone. 

In a vain attempt to distract himself he decided to fiddle with his phone. Predictably both Xion and Namine had been blowing it up with texts. Texts asking where he was. Texts asking how he was feeling. Texts offering reassurance and support. It seemed they had been in cahoots again, but right now he didn’t really mind all that much

However, staying here was already getting to be too uncomfortable and he decided he probably couldn’t handle actually staying the entire night with nothing but his complicated feelings and his unconscious friend. 

Leaving his place on the messy couch, he began digging around the kitchen for some sort of pen and paper so he could at least write where he’d gone. Predictably after a bit of searching he found a notepad that was apparently meant for grocery lists, the series of items on the first paper all written in Olette’s hand. 

Ripping out a piece of paper from the back of the notepad he began jotting down what was ultimately just another lie to excuse his hasty escape.

‘Had to go help Namine-’ Shit what would he possibly have to help his sister with? ‘Fix a leaky pipe’ he finished lamely, hoping it was believable enough for someone who would most definitely be hung over the following morning. 

His departure was silent and quick, and he hadn’t paid much attention on the ride home. His mind was too occupied and eventually all the lights and signs began to blur together. How he managed to reach his apartment without any accidents was a mystery to him. Before hastily going to bed to head off the unpleasant feelings festering in the pit of his stomach at the pass, he texted his sister to inform her of his lie. 

  
He was fast asleep before he could receive a reply. 

* * *

Notes: Sorry this was shorter than usual! I had to cut it off again because it started getting too long. Hope you guys are happy to see more of this one and please feel free to leave comments or kudos, I love your feedback!


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: It’s a new year but I’m still disorganized and slow. It’s been hard for me to find time to write lately with work and a death in the family so forgive me for taking so long! Here's a long chapter for your patience.

During the days following Roxas pretty much ran on autopilot. He got his groceries, he cleaned his apartment, and once time for work came around again he focused his mind entirely on that. If his coworkers noticed any difference in him they were kind enough to keep it to themselves. He figured if he was busy making sure everything was flawless he wouldn’t have time to address all of the things that were bothering him.

As predicted it didn’t take much time at all for Hayner and Olette to mend their relationship, and once more Roxas was plagued with every single little wedding update. He had thought weddings took more time to plan than this, but apparently he was wrong. Everything seemed to be moving along at an alarming pace.

Though he was doing everything as meticulously as he possibly could, however, his brain had thus far decided to be uncooperative. Instead of just staying silent for once, it always seemed to always supply him with something unpleasant to think about. What was worse, every night he was plagued with dreams. Dreams that made him wake up feeling guilty. Dreams that made him wake up feeling filthy. Dreams that made him wake up feeling hollow. Every night there was a new dream, and Roxas could never predict what it would be about.

It made night time unbearable, and made him want to abandon the concept of sleep altogether. No matter how desperately he tried to distract himself, nothing worked.

This was probably why he completely forgot about Hayner’s bachelor party until the day of. Something that shouldn’t have been possible considering how much his friend had been bothering him about it. Nearly the moment he left work that day Hayner called him excitedly. At first Roxas had no idea what Hayner was talking about until he remembered the day’s date. 

For weeks Hayner had been expressing the wish to go all out on his bachelor’s party, with all the traditional fair of alcohol and strippers. If Roxas ever got married, he decided, he didn’t want a bachelor’s party. At least one with strippers and alcohol involved. Dinner with his friends would do just fine for him.

Neither strippers nor alcohol interested Roxas in the least, but as Best Man he really didn’t have much choice in the matter.

He had a bit of time to microwave some leftovers and change out of his work clothes, but it didn’t seem like long at all before there was pounding at his door. He had made sure to dress nice, but not too nice. After all they were going to a strip club. The day had been fairly warm for winter so he decided against lugging around a jacket all night.

En route to the club there was a good deal of joking about Hayner’s last night as a free man, talk that made Roxas feel extremely uncomfortable. He didn’t like the feeling of finality it gave him. The feeling that their friendship would be changing. He didn't take change well. No one seemed to notice his silence, however, so it was like that for the entire drive.

Roxas had known that going to a strip club of all places would make him feel extremely uncomfortable, but he apparently didn’t know just how uncomfortable it would make him. The moment they entered he was assaulted by music that made his head pound and the neon lights did nothing to help. As his friends took their seats and ordered their drinks, Roxas took a seat by the nearest escape route. 

Looking up toward the rounded stage only served to make his face flame with embarrassment. It was times like these he wished he had come out to his friends. If they knew he was gay they might not have made him come along. Instead he had to avert his eyes so he didn’t die of embarrassment. 

He had gotten a curious look from the entire party when he ordered a coke  _ without _ rum, but he already felt out of place as it were and receiving strange looks were the least of his problems.

Seeing as all of his friends were preoccupied no one seemed to notice that he never once dared to raise his eyes, and was pretty much staring intensly at his untouched drink the entire time. The only time they seemed to pay any attention to him at all was when one of them raised their voice to an unnecessary level to ask if they could borrow a few bucks. He cringed at how loudly his name was yelled, his friends long since losing their ability to control their volume.

He had probably been staring at his rum-free coke for a while because he didn’t notice the woman in stilettos clicking over to him angrily until it was too late to escape. She was wearing a loose robe, tied so loosely in fact that Roxas could see the lacy bra she was wearing underneath. Judging by her lack of dress he surmised she was probably one of the dancers, though if she had done any performing that night he definitely hadn’t see it considering the way he’d been averting his gaze. That was the reason why he couldn’t for the life of him think of what one of them might want with him.

“Hey kid, is your name Roxas?” Her voice was sharp and for some reason she looked livid. He wasn’t sure what to make of being called kid, but he nodded slowly in response. He felt so intimidated he couldn’t quite find his voice.

“Oh of fucking course it’s a dweeb like you.” She griped. Roxas was beyond confused. He was positive he’d never seen this woman before in his life, so why was she so angry with him? He wasn’t about to argue, he knew he was a little bit of a dweeb, but the way she said it was strange.

“I-I’m sorry I think you might be mistaking me for someone else.” He inwardly cringed as his voice cracked.  _ Way to stand your ground, Roxas… _ This lady was going to kick his ass right then and there. He had no doubt this lady  _ could _ kick his ass, quite frankly. He could see the boiling hot rage in her eyes.

“Oh yeah? How many Roxas’ do you think there are in a town like this.” She retorted. He could make no reply. She was right, he was probably the only one. “Never mind. Now that I got to see you myself I have no  _ idea _ what that idiot is thinking. You’re boring me and you’ve barely even said anything.”

“I really think there must be some mistake…” He insisted. He certainly would have remembered meeting someone like her. She was taller than him by a lot, and she probably would still be taller than him if she weren’t wearing heels. Her eyes were a striking shade of blue and her light, shoulder length blonde hair was slicked back. Her waist looked small and even under the drab robe he could see that she was fairly well endowed in the… Chest area. She was very pretty, but the furious look on her face made her look more scary than anything else.

“Oh no, you’re the one alright. Even  _ if _ your name wasn’t weird as fuck it’d be just like that dumbass to be stupid enough to go into bitch mode over someone like  _ you _ . That self-destructive idiot…” This was only leaving Roxas with more questions than answers. 

“U-um who… Who are you talking about?” Every time he dared to ask a question it seemed to only fill her with more rage.

“Oh my god…. Oh my  _ god _ … I can’t tell which one of you is more stupid!” She ran her fingers through her hair with a disgruntled sigh. “Not only do I have to deal with a lovesick moron, now I have to deal with a dense moron too. You’re meant or each other, you’re both morons!” She threw her hands up in frustration.

Roxas still couldn’t understand what she meant, and it seemed she was too angry to actually explain herself. She stepped forward and bent slightly so they were nose to nose.

“Pick a fucking lane, I’m sick of hearing all the whining. You either date the wimp or dump the wimp, I don’t care. Just do something so I don’t have to listen to all this pathetic shit anymore.” Pulling back she tightened her robe and clicked back to the employee only area. Roxas was left stumped. It was easy to think that it was a simple case of mistaken identity, but if she knew him by name it was harder to explain away than that. Since that was pretty much ruled out he was left wondering what she meant. 

“Holy shit Roxas what was that about?” Hayner struggled to yell over the music. Noticing that nearly everyone in the immediate area was staring at him, Roxas felt his face heat up.

“N-nothing… I think she had me confused with someone else.” He hated how timid he still sounded.

“Sure seemed like she knew who you were.” Pence noted. Hayner smacked him playfully.

“Yeah right. Like Roxas would hook up with a stripper.” He scoffed, thankfully allowing the subject to pass. Now he was left to wrack his brain over who she could have possibly been talking about.

He didn’t really spend time with all that many people, and he couldn’t think of who she could have been referring to. It was hard to believe anyone was that upset over someone like  _ him _ . He was also pretty sure he hadn’t done anything to incur her wrath considering she had been insinuating someone had feelings for him. 

Unless she could have been talking about Axel.

Now that he thought of it, it wasn’t hard to reach the conclusion that he had just been leading Axel on. Even  _ he _ wasn’t sure that wasn’t what he was doing when it came to that relationship. He definitely liked the guy a lot, but enough to date him? It was hard to think about dating anyone with this wedding plowing ahead at full speed causing his emotions to scatter all over the place. But the redhead was such an odd character it wouldn’t be out of the question for him to be friends with a scary stripper. Still it was hard to imagine Axel getting upset over anything. He was always so good natured and pleasant, it was strange to think of him whining. She couldn’t have meant him.

Regardless, this encounter was enough to make him want to leave this place. Immediately. 

He couldn’t move an inch without some sweaty stranger rubbing up against him and he suddenly remembered why he never went to clubs of any sort. He hated this. Not to mention the music was entirely too loud and the lyrics were far from creative. 

The fresh air was cold on his lungs, but he accepted it wholeheartedly. Much better this than the stuffy club. 

It seemed like forever before he finally found his friends again, talking loudly over to each other over the music and laughing over drinks. Many of them were already looking pretty tipsy. It made Roxas furious that they could have such a good time. Even in a place like this his problems continued to follow him. 

“Roxas!” Hayner shouted. “Where have you been? You like… Disappeared!” He seemed to be slurring his words a bit as he spoke.

“I’m leaving.” He had to raise his voice as well if he had any hope of being heard, even as close as he was to them now. Hayner frowned.

“What? But we only just got here!” He cried. Roxas shook his head. The last thing he wanted to do was be the wet blanket that brought Hayner’s bachelor party to a halt.

“I’m not feeling well. You guys stay, I can take a cab.” He insisted. Hayner still seemed unhappy, but Pence sent him off with a friendly wave. 

Roxas had never missed fresh air more in his life. The minute he was outside again he was inhaling the scent of the chilly night air deeply. Inside the club he was constantly assaulted by the scents of perfumes, colognes, and sweat. He had forgotten how good it felt to breathe air that wasn’t muggy and full of overpowering smells. 

Though there was now a thin layer of snow covering the ground, he thought it would probably do him some good to cool his head. Deciding against a cab for the time being, he started walking with no real destination in mind. Anyway, this town was fairly small, so it never took him very long to get somewhere on foot, even with the plummeting temperature.

Granted being in _ this  _ part of town wasn’t so great, but it didn’t take long before he was in Old Town where the businesses were more humble and the streets were less busy. Here he had a much better grasp on where he was and was much less afraid of getting mugged or something equally terrible. 

He didn’t know how long his little walk had lasted before his stomach began rumbling and he began to notice that he was shivering. Apparently not bringing a coat was turning out to be not the best idea. He figured he’d better get inside soon if he wanted to keep all his fingers and toes. His tired feet seemed to move by themselves and soon he was face to face with a familiar brightly lit sign.

Why was he allowed no respite? More importantly why had his stupid feet automatically taken him there? Wasn’t he trying to forget what had happened? How could he possibly forget  _ here _ , when he always acted strange around Axel?

  
Regardless of the nervousness he felt, he was hungry and his feet were finally beginning to bother him quite a bit, and aching feet and a protesting stomach were enough to trump such nervousness apparently. Either that or he was simply a glutton for punishment.

After staring at the friendly looking, illuminated sign for an unnecessarily long time, he finally entered the blessedly busy diner.

He didn’t know what he would have done if he were one of the only ones there. He may have been, god forbid, forced to own up to whatever wrongdoings the stripper seemed to have accused him of…  _ If  _ she had really been talking about Axel, that is.

Warm air rushed over him as he cautiously entered the establishment, and it made him realize just how cold it had gotten while he had been aimlessly walking. He almost felt a sense of relief at being somewhere familiar.

This time instead of Kairi up front there was a woman who was probably in her mid-fifties, graying hair cut into a neat, trendy bob. Roxas felt a sigh of relief escape his lips. Maybe he could avoid seeing Axel after all. Yet the part of him that dragged him here of all places seemed mildly disappointed the redhead wasn’t around.

“Can I get you something to drink?” The woman offered once she had Roxas settled into his own little booth. “We have coffee, hot chocolate, tea… You looked like you were freezing out there.” She smiled softly, handing the blond a menu. 

“Um… Coffee would be great, thank you.” He forced a smile in return. Normally he wasn’t a big fan of coffee, but he wanted to be able to make sure Hayner and the gang had all made it home safely. There was no telling how late that would be. The woman nodded. 

“A server will be with you in a moment, I’ll get you that coffee while you’re waiting.” Roxas felt his body turn to ice. There was no telling in this family owned business who his server would be this time. At least tonight they didn’t seem to be understaffed. 

Being in a warm place after walking in the cold for so long felt a lot better than he thought it would. He was so comfortable he felt as if his body would melt right into the vinyl seat. When the kind hostess brought him his coffee all he could do was stare at it. He must have started spacing out again because he hadn’t even noticed the arrival of the rather unhappy looking server until he spoke.

“Yo, name’s Reno and I’ll be your server tonight.” He introduced himself, sounding incredibly bored and robotic. “Please feel free to take your time.” There was something about the way he spoke that sounded almost peeved. Looking up from his coffee the blond had to do a double take. This waiter, Reno, was the spitting image of Axel. Perhaps he was a bit older, and his hair was much longer and less wild, but the two looked incredibly alike. Knowing the nature of this diner Roxas had no doubt they were related.

“Um… The coffee is fine for now.” He  _ had  _ been hungry, but something about the guy’s attitude made him cautious to ask him for anything. Reno shrugged and retreated to the kitchen where Roxas could hear the kind woman from before berating him for something. It reminded him of when he could overhear Kairi and Axel bickering, only the woman’s voice was too soft to hear clearly. Apparently Kairi and Axel had been pretty loud considering he couldn’t hear much of what these two were saying. 

“You’ve been rude all night.” The woman scolded as she left the kitchen balancing a tray in each hand. “If you’re going to act up just stay in the kitchen. No one likes a grumpy waiter.”

The next time someone came to address him it was the woman from earlier instead. Apparently no matter how much he wanted it, he just couldn’t make himself invisible. Still, he would much rather it be her than the man from earlier.

“Has anything struck your fancy?” She had pulled a notepad out of her apron pocket on the off chance Roxas ordered something this time. 

“Oh… Oh no the coffee is fine, thank you.” The warmth of the room was beginning to make him sleepy, more coffee would probably do him good. He noticed the wrinkles at the corners of her mouth and eyes and decided she probably did a lot of smiling. It could have just been to ensure good service, but Roxas thought she probably was the type of woman to do a lot of smiling in general. “I heard this diner is family run…” The woman smiled brightly and nodded.

“My mother has worked here ever since I was a little girl. Eventually the original owners put it up for sale and my mother snatched the offer up and made something of her very own.” The woman seemed proud, and Roxas couldn’t blame her. Starting a business was no small feat. “I’ve worked here nearly my entire life. My children help too when they’re not acting like fussy toddlers.” She rolled her eyes, blue like the bored waiter from earlier. Blue like Kairi’s. 

“You must be glad to have such a close family…” He found himself staring at his coffee again. He was definitely speaking to the mother of the guy he’d just recently  _ slept _ with.  _ ‘God… What would she think if she knew…’ _ He felt his face heat up and tried his damndest to will the blush away.

“Those kids will drive me to an early grave.” She laughed. “But yes, I’m very happy we’ve stayed close. I’m proud of them all, even if they all have the tendency to be a little headstrong.” Her face suddenly grew troubled. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean… That is if something is troubling you I apologize if I sounded like I was bragging.” Roxas shook his head.

“No that’s alright, I think it’s nice…” He offered a smile that he hoped looked reassuring. “I’m sure if I had something like this to share with my family I’d be proud of it too.” His family of perfectionists never got along like this. The look on her face became even more distressed, which was concerning to him. 

She paused, delicate brows furrowing. She shook her head and apparently disregarded whatever she might have had to say. “Please, feel free to stay as long as you like. It’s going to be a cold night tonight…” Realizing that in his ragged state he probably looked like a bum, Roxas quickly shook his head again.

“Thank you for the offer but I have to check on my my friend’s later…” He nervously ran his fingers through messy hair. “We went out together tonight but I’m not really one for…” He paused. He didn’t much want to admit to this sweet woman that he had just come from a strip club. “For nightclubs... So I left early.” This way he could leave out the part where he was berated by a stripper. “I only went so I could spend time with them, but it turns out I’m too much of a homebody.” He laughed. The woman gave him a pat on the back.

“You can still stay as long as you want.” She assured him. “In my opinion it’s too cold for anyone to be out there in the first place. Especially without warm clothes.” Roxas smiled gratefully and watched her retreat, darting from table to table and in and out of the kitchen. By this point his coffee had been forgotten, making its use as a handwarmer instead. 

He wasn’t sure when he fell asleep. The warmth and the cozy atmosphere apparently weren’t all that conducive to staying awake, and eventually at some point he just nodded off. It was a bit jarring waking up somewhere that wasn’t his apartment, though at this point maybe he should start getting used to such a thing... Regardless of this being a now all too frequent occurrence, it took him a few seconds to recall where he was. 

There weren’t nearly as many people here, now, and he could feel something warm and heavy draped over his shoulders. He sat up, apparently having been using the table and his hands as a pillow. Reaching to gently touch the thing that had been blanketing him, he realized it was a coat. One that absolutely dwarfed him. Pulling it closer he was awash with a familiar scent.

Looking around he only saw a few young couples and a group of college kids that looked as if they were all trying to nurse budding hangovers. He could hear what sounded like arguing coming from the kitchen. 

“Why are you even here if you’re going to act like an asshole?” One voice snapped. It wasn’t hard to deduce that it was Axel’s.

“Oh sure says the one who came in four hours late.” Another commented snidely. It sounded like the waiter from before.

“So I’m just supposed to tell someone to stop bleeding because I have a second job to get to? Yeah I’m sure that would work out just peachy.” This time Axel was nearly shouting.

“If the two of you are just going to argue then why don’t you both leave.” It sounded like the woman from earlier, but her tone was sharp. Once the shouting stopped it was difficult to hear what was happening in the back. 

Staring blankly he watched as the kitchen doors flung open to reveal the waiter from before, Reno, looking just as bored as he carried what looked like some sort of appetizer platter to the table full of college kids. He stopped and regarded Roxas with a thoughtful expression before turning towards the kitchen doors and shouting a few decibels more loudly than Roxas thought necessary.   
  
“Axel, your hobo boyfriend’s awake.” Roxas could feel his face burning as Reno leaned against his booth with a smirk. There was a clatter in the kitchen before the doors flung open to reveal a furious looking Axel.

“Can’t you hold off being an asshole for more than five minutes or is that just too-” The redhead paused when he noticed that Roxas was indeed awake, defensively pulling the much too large jacket tighter around himself.  Stomping over to Roxas’ booth he pointed to the kitchen. “Leave.” 

Reno sauntered back to the kitchen, sniggering to himself the whole way. Roxas really didn’t know what to address first, being called a hobo or being called Axel’s boyfriend. Axel was currently pinching the bridge of his nose in irritation allowing the blond a few moments to consider.

“I’m going to go out on a limb here and guess that was your brother.” He decided he could ask about being called Axel’s hobo boyfriend later. Right now he didn’t feel liking hitting the frustrated redhead with any big question.

“Unfortunately.” He sighed heavily. “He’s just throwing a fit because mom is putting his ass to work since he’ll be visiting so long this time.” He looked absolutely exhausted. 

“I also take it this is yours then?” Roxas nodded to the fabric he held clenched in his hands. There was a flash of recognition in those striking green eyes.

“Oh yeah, it is!” Axel smiled sheepishly. “You were conked out when I got here and this place is so ancient the furnace is a piece of shit so I gave you that. You’re really not dressed for the weather, you know.” Roxas huffed.

“When I left today I didn’t know it was going to get this cold.” He replied defensively. There was hardly any snow on the ground earlier that day, how was he to know the weather would change so drastically. Axel snorted, bending so he was closer to Roxas’ level, resting an arm on the strip of wood that divided Roxas’ booth and the one behind him. He gave the blond’s cheek a poke.

“Your face is all red from sleeping on it.” He noted before the blond swatted his hand away and began rubbing his cheek self consciously. In reality his face was probably red from embarrassment but there was no way he would admit that.

“I’d like to see what  _ your _ face would look like after sleeping on a diner table.” He snapped. This made Axel laugh.

“Probably not great. Because these tables aren’t meant for sleeping on.” He retorted. And Roxas couldn’t really argue because he did have a point. Roxas pursed his lips in thought. This probably wouldn’t be a good idea, but lately none of his ideas were very good. Scooting over he patted the seat next to him.

“Sit down, will you? You look so exhausted it’s making  _ me  _ tired.” His grouching seemed to amuse the redhead, who did as he was told and sat down beside the blond.

“Sure you’re not just tired because you’ve been asleep for two hours?” Axel was grinning goofily and Roxas insisted to himself that it didn’t look a little cute. 

“Your fault for  _ letting  _ me sleep for two hours.” He replied. “So why’d your brother call me a hobo?” He finally asked. Axel rolled his eyes.

“Before I got here my mom was convinced you were some poor teenage runaway, I’m assuming that’s what she told my brother to keep him from being an ass to you. Lucky I got here before she forcibly adopted you.” He smiled wryly. Roxas frowned.

“Do I really look that young?” He knew when it came to stature he was on the smaller side, but he had no idea would assume he was  _ that _ young.    
  
“You kind of have a baby face.” Axel informed him. Roxas pinned him with a scathing glare and he added, “Not that it’s a bad thing.”

“When  _ you  _ met me how old did you think I was?” He asked, causing Axel to scratch the back of his head in embarrassment. 

“I don’t know… I mean I kind of thought there was the possibility that you might have been too young to drink. You picked a pretty lax bar and it didn’t take all that long for you to get wasted.” Roxas raised an eyebrow. 

“Oh so you hit on me thinking I was  _ twenty  _ at best.” He accused. “ _ You _ are a pervert.” The redhead huffed.

“Hey, I didn’t make any moves until you’d actually told me your age, thank you.” He folded his arms defensively and Roxas rolled his eyes. 

“Oh so you  _ didn’t  _ hit on me?” He was messing with Axel at this point, but he didn’t have to know that.

“I… Well yeah I did. Until you got wasted off of one whiskey sour. Then I felt more like making sure you didn’t barf on anyone.” It was an honest admission, and Roxas decided he’d accept it even if the thought of barfing in public still embarrassed him.

“You know age differences don’t bother me  _ too _ much, but I’m glad to know you have some decency.” He smirked. Even through the coat he was swimming in he could feel Axel’s body heat. It was almost comforting, and he found himself scooting a little closer. 

“Psh. If you were a teenager you would think I’m a grandpa.” Axel snorted. 

“Who ever said I _ didn’t _ think you were a grandpa?” He felt the corners of his lips quirk. Axel grinned.

  
“Guess you have a grandpa fetish, then. Have fun explaining that to people.” He replied, causing Roxas to give him a little smack. This didn’t seem to perturb the redhead all that much. 

“So… Boyfriend, huh?” Roxas raised a skeptical brow. Axel groaned.

“My brother saw me lend you my coat and ran with it. Any chance he has to annoy me, he’ll take it.” He frowned, looking frustrated. “Wish he left you out of it though. Sorry if he embarrassed you in the process.” He apologized. Roxas  _ had _ been embarrassed, but when he thought of it, it was more-so having everyone’s attention loudly brought to him more than anything. He shrugged.

“I’ve been called worse.” He replied casually, causing Axel to chuckle.

A comfortable silence settled between them and the blond was beginning to feel his eyelids droop again. Usually he’d be in bed by now, going out for a night on the town with the guys had been a terrible idea. He should have just faked being sick from the start.

“Going back to sleep already?” Axel joked. Sleep, however, sounded very nice. He simply nodded, letting himself tip to the side and lean on the other man’s shoulder. He stayed like this for a while before something seemed to snap in Axel. 

“Okay, okay. Knock it off before you give people  ideas. Well, anymore than Reno already gave them.” He didn’t sound angry or irritated, but his voice was tight. “You can’t stay here  _ all _ night. After closing the heat goes off and then you’d freeze for sure.” Roxas wanted to ask what Axel meant about giving people ideas. Was Roxas embarrassing him? Before his sleepy mind could comprehend whatever the man was going on about Axel slipped out of the booth, leaving him feeling very cold all of the sudden. “Let me go get my piece of shit car warmed up, I’ll give you a ride home. I can’t believe you walked here in this weather...” 

Roxas watched as Axel made his hasty retreat, feeling extremely confused. So far Axel had been the one pursuing him… Why wouldn’t he want people getting ideas? If anything it should be Roxas not wanting people getting ideas. Was it because of what his brother had said, or rather, shouted? Maybe he was worried about his friends… Roxas had only met one of Axel’s friends, and she didn’t seem to take it all that well. 

He didn’t seem as closeted as Roxas was, after all his brother seemed to know and considering how loud he had been Axel’s mother probably knew as well. But if he was out, was he like Roxas having only told a select few people? When Axel returned he was visibly shivering, causing Roxas to realize that he was still drowning in the redhead’s coat. He quickly took it off and returned it to its rightful owner, receiving a grateful smile in return.

“Car’s ready. I left it running so we should probably hurry. Not like anyone would want to steal that piece of shit, anyway.” He chuckled before frowning, apparently noticing the look on Roxas’ face. “You alright? Did my dick of a brother decide to show his stupid face again?” The blond shook his head.

“You probably shouldn’t call his face stupid when you look so much alike.” He pointed out, trying not to let himself over think things. Axel made a face.

“Ew. If that’s what I look like no wonder I’m single.” That made Roxas laugh, which seemed to satisfy Axel’s concern. Offering a hand he helped the blond out of the booth. Looking back at the door into the darkness outside he began looking troubled again. “It’s freezing out there. Honestly, what were you thinking going anywhere tonight without a coat.” He shook his head disapprovingly.

“I already told you, it wasn’t that bad when I left.” Roxas grumbled. This only made Axel laugh, opening his coat and trapping the blond inside before zipping it up.

“Well now you’re stuck sharing with me. Sucks for you.” He sounded like his normal self again, which only served to confuse Roxas more.. It wasn’t really all that unpleasant being stuck this way. It was definitely warm, and he was surrounded now by the scent that had been faintly clinging to the coat when it was just him wearing it. 

“You’re a dork.” He announced, but he didn’t struggle. He couldn’t even if he wanted to. He was too tired and too comfortable. “How are we even going to get to your car like this?” Axel hummed in thought. 

“We’ll waddle there. It’s not that far.” They were moving before Roxas could even reply. Granted they were moving slowly, but they were moving nonetheless. Once they were outside the blond was struck with a bitter cold gust of air. Suddenly all Axel’s scolding seemed reasonable. 

“You’re going to have to unzip me if you want me to get in your car.” He reminded Axel. “I don’t think you could drive with me on your lap.” Axel shrugged.

“You don’t know, maybe I could.” He rested his chin on the top of the blond’s head. 

“That doesn’t sound very safe, Mister Paramedic.” Roxas teased. Axel sighed in defeat, unzipping his coat and freeing Roxas. The minute he was out of the warmth and in the ice cold air he almost regretted asking to be unzipped. 

“It’s unlocked.” Axel said as he made his way around to the driver’s side. Roxas, who was shivering at this point, wasted no time swinging the creaky car door open and climbing inside. It was still cold, Axel’s rust bucket probably didn’t have the most state of the art heater, but it was much warmer there than it was outside. “See, you’re shivering. Should have dressed for the weather.” Reaching back he grabbed the worn blanket from the back seat.

“Th-thanks.” Roxas mumbled through chattering teeth. He felt much better once he was bundled up in the blanket, and nearly fell asleep again until Axel poked him awake.

“Unless you want a slumber party at my place you’re going to have to give me directions.”

“Oh… Yeah. You can turn left at the next light...” He rubbed his eyes vigorously in an effort to wake himself up. Remembering the strange interaction from earlier he decided he might as well ask Axel about it before he forgot. “Hey do you happen to know someone who uh…” Shit this was sort of embarrassing. He was going to have to admit he’d been to a strip club. He was beginning to wish he hadn’t said anything at all.

“Someone who what?” Axel seemed utterly oblivious to Roxas’ sudden embarrassment.

“Someone who’s… Um... An Exotic dancer?” It sounded minutely better than calling the woman a stripper, but it still didn’t change the fact that he was still asking if Axel knew a stripper. The redhead snorted.

“Weird question, but yes I know someone in that profession. Why?” His lips were curled in an amused smile and Roxas felt his stomach flip. Trying to ignore the way long fingers loosely gripped the steering wheel he took a deep breath to steel himself before continuing.

“It’s just that uh… Hayner’s bachelor party was tonight and one of the… Dancers… Seemed mad at me.” He bit his lip as the look on Axel’s face turned to one of annoyance.

“Larxene…” He groaned, rubbing his forehead as if his head had suddenly started to bother him. Apparently there was no question of the identity of this mystery woman.

“So… You know her?” Roxas felt the need to tread cautiously, as the redhead didn’t seem all that pleased about the encounter.

“Yes, unfortunately. She’s one of the reasons I've sworn of dating woman completely. Out of her damn mind…” He muttered, shaking his head. “She’s a friend of mine. One who can’t mind her damn business. Hope she didn’t scare you too much.”

That answered one question then. The only way for Larxene to know about Roxas at all would be through Axel. Knowing this made him feel almost sad… As crazy as the encounter was, the woman only seemed to be defending her friend. Worst still were the implications it left behind. 

“You can turn left on that side street up there…” He paused, weighing his options. He supposed he could just let it go, but something about that didn’t sit right with him. He wanted answers, especially if he’d been inadvertently causing Axel trouble. “So that girl… Larxene… She said some weird stuff.” The redhead rolled his eyes in response.

“That’s because _ Larxene _ is weird.” He replied. “Why, what did she say? If it was as insulting as I’d imagine it was I apologize. The woman has no filter.” ” Roxas laughed weakly. 

“She called me a dweeb.” He bit his lip, trying to steel himself before expanding on the rest of the odd things she’d said. He couldn’t manage anything else though.

Axel shook his head with a snicker. Roxas held his tongue. As much as he wanted to know what was behind the strange incident, he didn’t want to jump to conclusions. It probably wouldn’t hurt to wait it out. After all even if he got a definitive explanation he wasn’t sure what he would do with it.

“It… Wasn’t all that flattering.” He noticed Axel’s grip on the steering wheel had tightened. “Now I wonder what your other friends are like.” That made Axel laugh.

“Don’t worry, they aren’t all as crazy as she is. She’s a special case.” Axel sounded relaxed, but his body was strangely rigid.

“The way you put it sounds like there are still a few as crazy as she is.” Roxas noted. The redhead shrugged.

“Can’t deny it. But I think I’d be pretty bored if the only people I ever did things with were a bunch of squares.” Even in the dim light he could see the broad smile on Axel’s face.   


“I can’t help but feel like you think I’m a square, now.” Roxas commented. Axel shrugged.

“You’re a  _ fun _ square.” The blond rolled his eyes.

“Gee, thanks.” A comfortable silence settled over them, and Roxas almost forgot they were actually going somewhere until he saw the sign for the street that led to his apartment. “Oh! Turn left there!” He pointed and bounced in his seat impatiently. 

“You could have told me sooner, you know.” Axel grumbled. “You didn't give me a whole lot of time to merge into the turn lane.”

“Sorry.” Roxas apologized, but regardless of Axel’s grouching he managed to make the necessary lane changes quite effortlessly. “It’s the complex right there. You can’t miss it.” Slowing to a stop in front of the building, Axel gave an impressed whistle.

“Fancy. Makes my place look like a dump in comparison.” Reaching over, Axel manually unlocked Roxas’ door before ushering him out of the vehicle. “You’d better hurry if you want to get that precious eight hours in before work.” The blond heaved a heavy sigh. It was true, he had to leave for work at six the next morning. He’d be lucky if he got any sleep at all tonight.

Standing awkwardly in the cold he tried to think of something to say. Not only had Axel allowed him to nap at the diner taking up precious table space instead of just kicking him to the curb, for much of the night he’d also leant Roxas his coat  _ and _ he was kind enough to give him a ride home. He felt like a complete asshole. He’d pretty much ignored the redhead all week and he still went out of his way for him.

Bending so he could lean into the car, he gave Axel a brief peck on the cheek. Pulling away, he placed his fingers on his lips, shocked that he had done such a thing, as if his lips had a will of their own.

“Um… Th-thank you for tonight.” He wasn’t sure if he was stuttering because he was nervous or whether he was cold. Axel regarded him curiously before replying.

“It was nothing…” He looked at the building before then before looking back at Roxas. “Get inside now, before you freeze. I can already see the icicles coming out of your nose.” The blond only nodded, turning to walk toward the staircase that lead to his apartment. Pausing, be spun around and called out to Axel.

“I’ll text you.” It certainly didn’t make up for the way he had treated the redhead, and it didn’t do much to assuage his guilty conscience, but the smile spreading over Axel’s face was a pretty good start.

* * *

Note: Hey everyone, thanks for sticking with me this far. I can safely say there should only be two or three chapters before Vanilla comes to an end and I'm hoping to get them out a little faster than I did this one. Thanks for reading and feel free to review, follow, or favorite.

 


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: I can’t believe I lied to you all and let my fic fall into hiatus hell. What a fool I was, thinking I could update weekly. Anyway with luck I have enough material already for the next few chapters so stick with me guys!

Roxas grumbled as he impatiently tapped his pen against the glossy wooden table. Had he not been in a public place he just might have screamed in frustration.

It seemed like midterms were going to be next to impossible, and between that and the thankless internship sucking up all his time he was swamped. He was beginning to regret taking so many classes…

Today he was spending his lunch break holed up in Granny’s Diner, a habit he seemed to have gotten into recently. He let his head fall forward, hitting the thick wood with a thunk. His gaze was soon met with scuffed black shoes.

“Okay what’s wrong. You’ve been grumbling and groaning at your computer all day.” Lifting his gaze he was met with a concerned looking Axel. He tugged at his hair in frustration, scooting to the side to allow the redhead a place to sit. This, too, had apparently become habit.

“I hate statistics. I hate statistics so much.” He sent his laptop the most acidic glare he could manage before withering and hiding his face in folded arms. He could feel a warm comforting hand on his back.

“It wouldn’t kill you to take a break.” Axel reminded him. “Every day you come hog this table so you can study. You’re going to burst a blood vessel or something if you keep it up.” Roxas snorted, peeking at the redhead from where he had hidden his face in the meat of his arms.

“Is that you medical opinion?” He asked, feeling himself grin in spite of himself.

“Yes.” Axel responded in mock seriousness. “So close your laptop and actually eat today or else.” Roxas sighed, rolling his eyes as he obediently shut his laptop and stacked his school supplies.

“Even though I’m positive you’re fucking with me, I’ll let you feed me.” He relented. Axel cracked a huge grin, mussing the blond’s already messy hair before sliding out of the booth.

“I’ll get you your usual then.” He announced with a wink. Roxas watched as he disappeared behind the heavy kitchen door. He still couldn’t put his feelings for the charmingly weird redhead into words. Obviously there was some sort of attraction there, physical or otherwise, elsewise he wouldn’t visit the guy nearly every day and text him constantly.

“Oh hi, Roxas, you were so quiet I didn’t notice you.” Kairi smiled at him while she cleaned the next table over with a worn looking rag.

“Yeah, I guess coming here for lunch is kind of a habit now.” He laughed, rubbing the back of his neck in embarrassment. She laughed, placing the condiments in their correct places.

“No wonder Axel has started actually coming in on time. I guess he finally has incentive to be here.” Roxas felt his face heat up at the comment and the implications it held. He wondered if the redhead had told his sister anything about the odd nature of their relationship. If so, Kairi was kind enough not to say anything.

“Tryin’ to steal my customer, Kairi?” Axel was resting casually against one of the sturdy wooden tables, eyebrows raised in mock suspicion. This made the girl roll her eyes, stuffing the cloth in her apron pocket and giving her brother’s arm a gentle smack.

“What, so I’m not allowed to talk to customers anymore? No one likes a possesive guy, Ax.” She sauntered off with a smirk, causing the lanky male to huff.

“What a pest.” He complained, sliding the plate he’d been carrying over to Roxas before reclaiming his seat.

“She’s just doing her sisterly duty.” Roxas commented. “What kind of sibling would she be if she didn’t live to annoy you.” Axel chuckled, leaning back with a grin.

“Alright, I guess you have a point.” He acquiesced, quietly watching Roxas begin to scarf down his sandwich. “Please don’t choke. Giving you the heimlich isn’t exactly my idea of a good time.” The shorter male rolled his eyes, taking another large, purposeful bite.

  
“Just let me pig out, Axel.” He pleaded after successfully swallowing his food. “I have so few joys in life.” Axel snickered.

“That’s just… So sad.” The snickering turned into a full, infectious laugh, and Roxas soon found himself chuckling too.

“How mean.” He tried to sound as disappointed as he could, but the grin refused to leave his face.

“Nah, I only pick on you ‘cuz I like you.” Axel nudged him with a bony elbow. He would never admit it, but even something as small and childish like this sent his poor heart into a frenzy.

“How very childish of you.” He remarked, though there was something endearing about the way he said it. This only served to make the redhead beam. They continued their friendly chatter as Roxas picked at the rest of his food. This was eventually interrupted by the buzz of Roxas’ phone indicating his lunch break was reaching its end. He heaved a long sigh and began packing up his laptop and notebooks. Axel kindly lent a hand, helping to hand the blond the supplies he’d let explode all over the table.

“I’m pretty shit at math, but if you need a hand studying I’m free all weekend.” He offered. “At the very least I could order you a pizza while you mumble to yourself and yank out all your hair.” Roxas felt himself smile as he shouldered his heavy bag. The redhead slid out of the booth and offered him a hand, which he gladly accepted. His bag was weighing him down, making getting up on his own a nightmare.

“I’d like that… Though if I can I’d rather avoid the part where I pull out all my hair.” With all the studying he would be doing during the next few weeks, it felt really nice to know that he wouldn’t have to be holed up in his apartment alone. At least for some of it.

He gave Axel’s hand a squeeze before finally forcing himself out the door and back to his car. He still had the rest of the day to get through before he could finally call it.

Unfortunately for him it seemed the entire town was returning from their lunch breaks, because he ended up returning to work late due to several traffic jams. Needless to say he got an earful. Even though he had managed to return only five minutes late.

In the middle of the monotony he received a message, or rather several messages, from his cousin. It seemed Sora had finally returned to Twilight Town after deciding to go to a University that was much too far away. His first priority, it seemed, was to drag an unwilling Roxas out for some good old family bonding.

He also apparently wouldn’t take no for an answer, and more frustratingly, wouldn’t divulge just where exactly they would be going.

Roxas spent the rest of the day distracted by the dread he felt for the night ahead.

He just barely got home in time to stick a TV dinner in the microwave and change out of his work clothes. He was expecting Sora any minute now, and he wasn’t sure how he was going to survive a night out when he felt so exhausted.

Roxas watched impatiently as his TV dinner spun around in the microwave at a pace so slow it felt as if the tray of thawing food was mocking him.

All he wanted was to be able to wolf down his mushy, still partially frozen fettuccine with broccoli before his cousin came to ram his door in. His cousin had always had a lot more energy than he did, and Roxas would no doubt be grouching the whole time they were out. He had a bed time, damn it!

Luckily for Roxas, his cousin was notorious for being late. That gave him enough time to shove at least some of his unappetizing meal into his mouth. He began flipping through his phone as he struggled to palette the barely cooked pasta, eyes scanning over what was now becoming a very long list of unread messages

Most of the messages were from Sora, excuses for being late and photos of him with various silly filters. A few were from Hayner, mostly useless information he had already discussed with Olette. One, however, was from Axel.

Roxas really had kept his promise and kept frequent contact with the redhead, both over the phone and through his very frequent lunches at Granny’s Diner.

It wasn’t just that he was one for keeping promises, he really did want to make up for the week he’d cut off communication with the redhead altogether. Axel may have been extremely forgiving about the whole scenario, but Roxas knew how low of him it had been. He was a coward, and in the process of trying to pretend everything was perfectly normal he had completely disregarded the feelings of the other party involved.

The only problem was that the blond ended up visiting and texting a lot now. A whole lot, in fact. More than he would have liked. At first he didn’t think anything of it; the texts and the lunch visits were all in good fun, and they were never anything but friendly. From an outsider's’ perspective it would just look like two good buddies hanging out.

It was only when he found himself feeling _eager_ for the chats and lunches with Axel that he started feeling increasingly weird about the whole situation. At first he naturally assumed it was because of, well, past experiences with the man. But when Roxas stopped and searched himself, he realized that he just might have started growing fond of the redhead. Even now, remembering Axel’s promise to join Roxas as a study buddy had his heart beating ten times faster than it normally should.

Staring at his phone he struggled to gulp down the lump in his throat. Axel was, as usual, recounting some funny story. Tonight apparently someone tried to jump out of a moving ambulance…

 If Axel could act perfectly normal then why was it that _he_ couldn’t? It wasn’t fair, every so often when he was enjoying his new friend’s company the alarming feelings would hit him like a ton of bricks.

 This absolutely would not stand. He wouldn’t let himself fall into the trap that was infatuation. Especially not when he had a wedding to help plan, seeing as all Hayner wanted to do was have a good time.

If only Hayner was aware that one could absolutely not have a good time _and_ put together a decent shindig in the short amount of time they had until the wedding. This lack of time was, of course, also Hayner’s fault. Every day he felt more and more sorry for Olette.

 The fact that his mind was always preoccupied with Axel now didn’t help the wedding situation at all. He mindlessly replied with a snarky response as he tossed his fork in the sink and shoved the flimsy TV dinner plastic in the trash can.

 He plopped down on his sofa with a sigh, staring blankly at the wall clock. It was quarter after ten.  He should be reading in bed or vegging out in front of the television right now, not waiting to experience the nightlife with his spastic cousin.

Okay, so spastic was a bit much. Still, Sora had far more energy for these things than he did

Just as he was about to doze off anyway, perfectly ready and willing to sleep on the couch all dressed up and ready to go, he was startled by the sound of pounding at his door.

He stood with a groan and trudged over to his front door, unfastening the latch and yanking it open. Sure enough a brightly smiling Sora was planted on his doorstep. Roxas could see his cousin’s best friend, Riku, a few paces back standing near the stairwell with a bored look on his face. 

“I can’t believe you actually agreed to come hang out with us!” The brunette exclaimed as the three of them walked the short distance to where he had parked. Roxas rolled his eyes.

“You act like I’m some weird hermit who never leaves the house.” He griped, sliding in the trash covered back seat. This made Sora laugh. Roxas wondered how someone could remain so jovial even through the worst of circumstances.

“Well you kind of are, Rox. You’re so serious all the time, you _never_ hang out with us like this!” His cousin flailed his arms for emphasis, causing the car to swerve. The blond yelped and grabbed onto the side of the door so tightly he made marks in the leather with his fingernails. This wasn’t unexpected, but it was definitely not the best start to the evening.

“Holy shit Sora! Hands on the wheel!” He snapped, clutching his chest in an attempt to calm his pounding heart. He knew tonight would be interesting, but he had no idea having Sora at the wheel meant surviving a near death experience. “Where are we even going, anyway?” Though he couldn’t see it, he had a feeling his cousin was grinning giddily.

“One of Riku’s cousins is apparently going to throw a huge party. You remember him, right Roxas? Kind of weird and goth. They lived in that big fancy house.” The brunette sounded so excited Roxas decided it would probably be best to hide his apprehension.  Riku just shrugged in response, apparently not _quite_ as excited as his friend. Though Roxas wasn’t sure he ever saw Riku act excited. Cocky and annoying, however…

“Their band recently took off and with me back in town they decided they might as well ruin that ‘big fancy house’ with a party.” He explained. Roxas wasn’t the type to party. He couldn’t remember if he’d ever really been to a _real_ party. He was the kind of guy people called ‘nerd’ in high school and stuffed into lockers, not the kind that was invited places. Well, not by anyone other than his family and close friends. Regardless, he couldn’t see himself losing anything by going along for the ride. Maybe it would take his mind off things.

When they arrived, the front door was wide open. Loud music with bass so loud Roxas could feel it thrum through his entire body was leaking outside on the front porch and pristine lawn. Riku was the first to approach, nodding to a few party goers as he walked right into the incredibly noisy house. He didn’t really see how this place was all that different from any other party, but Sora seemed excited and he certainly didn’t want to damper his cousin’s movie.

He was no expert on parties, after all. For all he knew there was something outstanding about this one.

Once they were all inside, Sora led him around and chatted his ear off. Eventually, however, his friendliness got the best of him and he disappeared pretty quickly into the crowd, promising to come and check on Roxas later. He lost track of the brunette pretty quickly after he’d entered the mass of inebriated and undulating bodies. The crowd was so dense that, try as he might, he was nowhere to be found. Instead of attempting to look for Sora in what would probably only be a fool's errand, he decided to seat himself beside a couple who was too drunk and too busy flirting to notice him. There he just watched the events of the party transpire around him.

The blond felt uncomfortable and out of place, the introverted part of him was crawling out of its skin. He could see a group of people chatting and taking long drags on their cigarettes at the opposite end of the room, and it wasn’t hard to tell which of them was related to Riku.

The scrawny man clad in leather and two beside him who were dressed similarly looked remarkably like his cousin’s friend. Their hair was almost the exact same color...

The music and dancing seemed entirely uninteresting to Roxas. The songs were cliche and the everyone on the dance floor was looking more silly than they did cool in their drunken states.. Their behavior was so amusing he elected to spend his time people watching.

This kept him distracted enough. The people on the dance floor were so inebriated at this point that many of them had thrown manners and common sense straight out the window in favor of grinding and groping each other. He was so enthralled with this unabashed behavior that he didn’t even notice when someone took the seat beside him.

“You from around here?” Roxas felt himself startle at the voice. Not for one minute did he think that someone would actually willingly sit by him when there were dozens of open barstools. It wasn’t until he heard the slurred attempt at speech that he realized he had company. It seemed he would have to people watch another time.

Strangely enough, the whole situation seemed to strike a chord with him. As if he were being reminded of a memory that lay just beyond his reach.  
  
Turning to face whoever had decided to keep him company he momentarily felt his heart stop and start again. For some reason he was expecting bright red hair and sharp green eyes, and he immediately kicked himself for it. Of course the person beside him looked perfectly average, free of gaudy hair and tattoos. Well, perhaps not entirely average. He seemed handsome enough with very light hair that looked to be tinged a grayish hue and expensive looking clothes. Even so, he certainly wasn’t Roxas’ type.

Roxas didn’t know what his type even was, but this at least wasn’t it. He wondered just how many hair products the man had used to make his hair so smooth and shiny. It was far too… Perfect. Just like the rest of the man.  
  
“You look like you’ve seen a ghost.” He joked, flashing a smile that would surely charm anyone else and leaning, or tipping rather, closer to Roxas. Regardless of an effort that was surely valiant for someone who smelled so strongly of booze, he was too taken aback to be charmed by dashing smiles.

His mind was too busy struggling to grasp at the memory that felt so close yet still so unattainable. He felt so incredibly close to it but try as he might he couldn’t reach. Perhaps that was why he didn’t walk away from this man’s advances immediately.  
  
“S-sorry…” He apologized. “I guess I thought you were someone else for a minute… You just surprised me is all.” Roxas attempted to offer a kind smile, but he was sure it just looked nervous and awkward. The man quirked a thin and perfectly maintained brow.  
  
“I must say I don’t get that one very often.” He replied smoothly, and for some reason the blond couldn’t bring himself to make eye contact with him. Whenever he looked back up at the person sitting next to him he was awash with disappointment.    
  
“It’s not a bad thing!” Roxas quickly assured him, his voice just barely reaching over the blaring music. “I was just a little shocked…” The blond pursed his lips. The pulsing bass and flashing lights made him feel a little dizzy. _‘Stop it… He’s probably still at work right now..’_ He internally chastised himself, trying desperately to fight the part of him that actually felt disappointed. ‘ _There’s no reason for you to act this way so stop…’_ Last he heard from Axel, the redhead was having a pretty crazy night saving people and the like. Even if he was off work by now, there was no way he’d have it in him to go anywhere. “Anyway I’m sorry. That was rude of me.” He apologized, loud enough that the man beside him could hear. Now he was starting to feel more than a little silly.   
  
“Don’t worry. I _did_ sneak up on you.” The man winked, causing Roxas’ chest to tighten. He wasn’t stupid, he could clearly tell when he was being… Pursued. Yet all he could think of was Axel. How he was doing at work, the cheesy jokes he told when Roxas joined him for lunch, the way his whole face seemed to transform when he smiled…

How he had clearly seen how frustrated Roxas was with his studies… How he had offered to help as best he could...  
  
This was not good. He’d done his best to ignore it up until now, but it was getting to the point where that was becoming impossible. Half of him wanted to throw caution to the wind and see what would happen, while the other half was consumed with guilt that he now had feelings… Romantic feelings… For two different people.   
  
“You would like him…” He replied softly, staring into his lap. “The… Uh… Person I mistook you for.” He was certain anyone who met Axel would like him. “He’s...” Roxas couldn’t really pin the redhead down with one word. He didn’t know if he could pin him down at all, he seemed too bright, too vibrant. Like the finale of some spectacular firework show. “He’s a good friend.” He finally managed. It was the only description that he could actually voice.  
  
The man beside him merely hummed in reply, tapping his fingers on the bar almost impatiently. Obviously he wasn’t pleased with the lack of progress he was making.  
  
“Um… I’m sorry, you surprised me so much I don’t think I heard your question.” Roxas clenched his hands into tight fists in his lap, feeling his cheeks redden. He looked to the person next to him and felt his throat constrict. It was so easy to for his mind to change the details of the face before him and see Axel there instead. He wondered if it was the ghost of some memory or just wishful thinking.  
  
“I asked if you were from around here. I _definitely_ would have recognized someone like you.” The man seemed to be getting closer and closer

 _‘Laying it on thick.’_ Roxas noted, but quickly tried to dispel the negative thought. He didn’t want to be rude to someone when all they’d really done was hit on him a little.  
  
“Ah… No I’m a Twilight Town native… Just don’t um… Party that much.” He answered distractedly, desperately searched the crowd for Sora. He was beginning to have enough of this guy. Unfortunately it was just too dense. As if it were just one massive, writhing being.  
  
“You should tell me about it over a drink.” The man suggested, throwing a limp arm over Roxas’ shoulders. “I’m not from around here. I know the band.”

He fought the urge to shake the arm off, feeling the burn of annoyance in his chest. He really didn’t want to assume that this was the guy’s way of bragging, but the tone of his voice really didn’t supply him with any other explanation.   
  
“That’s… Interesting.” Roxas replied blandly. Apparently this was lost on his tipsy companion. “I’ll have to pass on that drink though.”

No way was he going to let himself get drunk. In fact now he wanted nothing to do with alcohol ever again.  
  
“Why not?” The man pressed, now leaning completely against Roxas. “If it’s driving you’re worried about…” Roxas shook his head vigorously, not wanting to even _hear_ whatever this person had to suggest.  
  
“Sorry, I just don’t drink.” He smiled as contritely as he could, hoping this might be a way to let the guy off easy. “I have a low alcohol tolerance.” He explained. “I aim not to get drunk, I usually just stick to water or coke.” He was getting increasingly anxious that after all this time he still couldn’t see Sora anywhere, especially since it had been his cousin who had invited him here in the first place.   
  
He wondered if Axel was this pushy when they met. The redhead had pretty much confirmed that there had been flirting. He had eventually stopped asking questions about that night since nothing too regrettable had happened and it seemed like he had gotten honest answers, but under these lights, feeling so out of place at that bar, he was beginning to regret that he didn’t remember more. That he couldn’t remember it all.  
  
“Can I get you a coke then?” The man’s smile was as pleasant as ever and it was starting to get on Roxas’ nerves. _‘There are plenty of drunks here, go find one of them.’_ He thought sourly.  
  
“No thank you.” Roxas tried his best to answer politely, but the response only ended up sounding sickeningly sweet. “You can… Uh… Tell me about the band though.” He added, hoping it might lighten the blow. This guy was bigger than him by enough that he really wanted to try and stay on his good side if he could.  
  
“Oh yeah I’ve known them since like… Before they were famous....” As rude as he knew it was, he soon found himself ignoring whatever his tenacious hanger on was saying. Instead he allowed his mind to wander, wondering if maybe this was what his lost night might have felt like. If Axel had gotten as close as this guy was now...

“So what brings you here?” He asked. Roxas was still desperately searched for Sora in the swarming mass of bodies. Hell he’d even be happy to see Riku at this point, and he and Riku had never gotten along well at all…   
  
“My cousin.” He blurted out. “I came here with my cousin. He knows the band.” He could only hope in vain that it would be enough to give the guy a hint. It didn’t. Apparently Roxas’ frantic search for Sora hadn’t made it past his clingy Don Juan.

 “He just ditched you here?” He clicked his tongue and shook, or more accurately wobbled, his head. “I’m staying at a five star hotel on the boardwalk, how bout’ you come with me.” Roxas felt his stomach lurch at the suggestion. He couldn’t quite will his mouth to form a response.

 “I-I just… I um…” His floundering was apparently not helping his situation at all. In fact it seemed to have the exact opposite effect. Mr. Shiny hair and Fancy Clothes seemed to take his obvious nervousness as playing coy. Roxas felt his wrist gripped firmly as the tactless drunk yanked him up off of his bar stool, pulling him into a very tight, very unwanted embrace.

“Don’t worry ‘bout it.” It was hardly reassuring, and Roxas wasn’t given any time to respond before the overdressed nitwit really overstepped his bounds. The blond yanked himself back as far as he could to avoid being met with the presumptuous fop’s lips. Unfortunately he wasn’t quite fast enough, receiving a sloppy wet kiss land on his cheek. He felt his whole being recoil at the feeling. 

“I have a boyfriend!” He exclaimed, using all his weight to wrench himself free. Luckily the guy was either too drunk or too surprise to keep a hold of him. “S-sorry for the misunderstanding!”

 Roxas didn’t wait for a response as he fled into the sweaty mess of people.

 This was of course a lie, when it came to love all he had was trouble, but it was the first thing he thought to say damn it! After wandering for what felt like ages he realized it would be impossible to pick someone out of this crowd. Searching for Sora was beginning to feel like searching for a needle in a haystack.

 Roxas didn’t want to stay in this cramped, loud party one minute longer. Firstly, the creep from the bar was still there somewhere, secondly it was past his bedtime and he wanted desperately to curl up on the couch and let the television lull him to sleep, and thirdly the flashing lights were giving him a headache.

 Digging around his pockets he pulled out what came out to five dollars and a dime. Not enough to get a cab ride to his apartment, which was on the opposite end of town. Growing desperate, he tried calling Sora. When that didn’t work he even tried calling Riku. Either they were having too much fun, or the club had terrible reception.

 After contemplating his situation, he decided the first thing he needed to do was get some air. Once he had left the stuffy club took a few minutes to relish the cool night air he began flipping through his contacts. Considering how late it was, it was no surprise his sister didn’t answer. He tried Xion, and even Hayner, but it seemed for once he was the only one awake.

 He was starting to feel sick to his stomach. He was so nervous his throat was beginning to feel tight. He didn’t want to stay here, he wanted to go home where he didn’t have to worry about getting heat stroke or a seizure from all the gaudy flashing lights. He didn’t want to have to worry about people who couldn’t take a hint.

 Pursing his lips in thought, he pondered whether to keep trying numbers or to just pass out on the sidewalk. Thinking back, he decided he’d rather try every single number in his contact list before dealing with his pushy clinger again.

 Unfortunately the only person he knew that _might_ still be awake at this hour was Axel. It was at least somewhat likely considering the odd hours he kept due to the nature of his work. He found himself pacing restlessly as the phone continued ringing. He was nearly losing hope by the time he actually got an answer.

 “Hello.” The voice on the other line was pleasant. Roxas breathed a sigh of relief. “What are you doing awake? Don’t you call it a night at like… Seven?”

 “Ha ha.” The blond tried to respond sarcastically, but his voice quivered. “Why, did I wake you up?”

 “Nah, don’t worry about it.” He could hear Axel yawn in spite of his answer. “So why’re you calling at…” There was a pause before the redhead continued. “Half past midnight? Miss me already?” Roxas bit his lip.

 “I uh… I’m kind of stuck. I think my cousin just left me to my own devices and I have no way to get home and I really don’t want to be here.” His answer sounded breathless and his words came out in one shaky jumble. He felt a brittle, nervous laugh escape his lips.

 “Woah, calm down, I’m not gonna just leave you there. Stuck where?” He heard rustling, which continued even as Axel spoke.

 “Downtown… At some party at a big house...Just… Just let me check the address.” He looked around the perimeter of the house, finally finding the big black numbers. Walking a little further he was able to barely make out the name of the cross street.

 “For the love of…” He heard Axel sigh. “You better kick your cousin’s ass for leaving you on that side of town. Just… Stay in one place, I’ll be there in a sec.” Roxas could feel a mad giggle bubbling up and he lacked the mental strength to hold it back.

 “Kay thanks…” His lips quirked into a small smile. “If you didn’t answer I’d probably have to start hooking to get the cab fare home.” He could hear the redhead groan.

“You’re the most normal person I know but god damn do you get yourself into some crazy shit.” Roxas heard the slamming of doors and what sounded like the soft sound of a radio. “I’m going to let you go now so I don’t drive into a tree or something. I’ll be there in like… Ten minutes. Try not to get mugged until then.” It was a joke, but getting mugged was starting to feel like a very real possibility.

 He probably would have been safer staying in the hot, muggy mansion, but he really didn’t want to run into that guy again… He’d rather actually be mugged. Leaning against the cold brick, he looked up at the moon, slightly obscured by the clouds. It was a miracle he was lucid considering just how tired he felt.

 He might have even fallen asleep with his eyes open, because it didn’t seem to take Axel very long at all to pull up in his beat up sedan. He exited the vehicle and whistled when he caught sight of the tired blond.

 “You look terrible.” He commented, wrapping an arm around Roxas’ shoulder and leading him to the passenger side of his dented car. “Did you really think you’d be able to party after spending your whole day taking notes?”

 “Gee, thanks.” He dead panned, leaning against the redhead and relishing the feeling of pleasant body heat. “My cousin is back in town and he was really excited about this so…” He reluctantly left the warmth of Axel’s side and strapped himself into the passenger seat of Axel’s car, watching the lanky man walk around and slide into the driver’s seat.

 Finally somewhere quiet, he recalled the memory from earlier that remained floating on the very edge of his mind. Was it a memory? Or was it just his subconscious? Then there was the reason he vacated the premises in the first place… The brash, overdressed pest who had no concept of personal space. Roxas sighed and let himself tip to the side, head resting against Axel’s arm. He snorted.

“Sit up, Rox. Not safe.” His voice was soft, his tone almost tender. Roxas shook his head.

“I’m tired. Let me sleep.” He mumbled. He felt the taller man move his arm and gently sit him upright.

“No can do. I’m a paramedic. I have to be Mister Safety.” He was smiling, eyes never leaving the road. Axel didn’t by any means look like Mister Safety, but he didn’t look like a paramedic either. “You don’t sound like you’re freaking out anymore.” He noted after a pregnant pause. It was true. Roxas was feeling much better now.

 “Yeah well…” Looking out the window the only lights he could see were the dim streetlamps, all of the shops having long since closed. “I’d rather be groped here than back there. Plus I’ve already been groped in your car so...” He shrugged. He could see Axel shake his head out of the corner of his eye.

 “I... Don’t know what to address first, the fact that you don’t mind being groped in my car or the fact that it sounds to me like you were groped back there.” His brows furrowed in concern, causing Roxas to quickly shake his head.

 “It was mostly a joke! Some drunk guy just got a little grabby.” He sighed, leaning his head back against the headrest. “I told him I had a boyfriend and I ran. The whole place was muggy and gross though.” He pinched the bridge of his nose, scrunching his eyes shut. “My head is killing me.” Axel reached over, placing his hand on Roxas’ head. Long fingers combed through messy blond hair.

 “There’s advil in the glove box. You should take some before your headache gets any worse.” He advised. The blond nodded, opening the glove box and grabbing the bottle of medication. He replaced the bottle once he’d swallowed a few pills.

 “Thanks…” He mumbled, rubbing his face tiredly. What followed was a comfortable silence, something Roxas’ aching head very much appreciated. Unfortunately this didn’t last very long. Just as he was about to nod off the blaringly loud sound of his cell phone startled him awake. He groaned, squinting at the brightly lit screen in an attempt to discern who was calling.

 “You don’t look so good.” Axel commented, receiving a weak glare from the exhausted blond.

 “I don’t feel so good.” He whined, covering his eyes with the meat of his forearm. “My cousin must have finally realized I left…” He could hear the redhead snort in response, and he felt his phone being gently tugged out of his hand.

“Go back to sleep, I’ve got it.” Axel insisted. Roxas could have kissed him for finally making the ringing stop. “Rox is sleeping now, can I take a message?” There was a pause. Peeking out from under his arm, he could see an amused look on Axel’s face. “Okay, okay. No need to bite my head off, kid. Don’t shoot the messenger.” He drummed long fingers on the steering wheel as he patiently listened. “I mean you could talk to him yourself if you want but he’s kind of asleep.” Axel frowned, nodding along to whatever Sora was saying. Roxas heaved a long, heavy sigh before motioning for the return of his phone. Axel seemed to all too happily oblige.

“Sora it’s fine. I didn’t want to bug you so I called Axel to pick me up.” He bit his lip, patiently listening to his cousin, of all people, nag him. “I know, Sora, and I would have found you but this guy was skeeving me out and I was feeling sick anyway so…” Out of the corner of his eye he could see Axel raise a curious brow. “I’m really, really sorry for leaving without saying anything. I’ll call you when I get home, kay?” Once they had reached an agreement, Roxas hung up, dropping his phone in his lap.

“So I’m guessing the skeevy guy would be the groper you were talking about?” Axel asked, long fingers tightly gripping the worn steering wheel. Roxas nodded. Thinking back, the whole experience had really left him with more questions than anything else. He spent the rest of the car ride quietly stewing on the strange feelings. Thank god the advil was helping cease the pounding of his head...

“Rox, we’re here.” Axel reached over and poked his cheek. Looking out the foggy window, Roxas could see his apartment complex.

“You have a good memory…” He commented. Axel merely shrugged. Turning toward the redhead, Roxas realized what he’d been wanting to ask… What he’d been wondering about. “Axel, you remember the night we met, right?” The redhead furrowed his brows, but nodded.

“Yeah, some of it. Why?” He looked apprehensive, and being as sleepy as he was Roxas didn’t really know how to form his question.  Maybe this was something that didn’t need to be discussed. Maybe this was something Roxas could test on his own and they could talk about it later…

 Whether this was truly the right way to go about things or not, the blond leaned over the console and wrapped his arms around the taller man’s neck. He paused a moment, feeling the redhead’s warm breath against his lips, and that feeling was enough for him to draw his conclusion. Surging forward, he pressed their lips together, releasing a contented sigh at the feeling of Axel’s slightly chapped lips against his.

 No new memories came rushing back to him, but as he continued placing slow, languid kisses on Axel’s sinfully tempting mouth, he came to the conclusion that, had it been Axel trying to flirt with him instead of the stylish man from earlier, he would have all too gladly accepted.

 “Roxas…” Axel breathed, long fingers tangling themselves in soft blond hair. Luckily his advances weren’t unwelcome. His kisses were returned with equal fervor, and his heart felt like it was on the verge of exploding. Eventually, much to his disappointment, the redhead eventually pulled back, though his hands never left Roxas’ hair. “You need sleep. There’s no way you’d do this if you were in your right mind.” He cracked a smile, causing the blond to huff. Partly because he was probably right and partly because he went and ruined such a good thing.

 “Do you have work tomorrow?” He asked, earning a scrutinous gaze. He toyed with Axel’s hair, curling the wild strands around his fingers as he waited for a response.

 “Tomorrow’s Saturday, so no…” Satisfied with the answer, Roxas pulled back and began gathering what few things he brought with him.

 “Well there’s no reason for you to drive all the way home then.” He concluded.

 “Rox it’s fine, it’s not that far.” Axel assured him, but Roxas merely shook his head in response.

 “If you fell asleep at the wheel and drove into a lake that’d be on me.” He cracked a small smile. “Who would I eat lunch with then?” Leaning in, he pressed a chaste kiss to the redhead’s cheek. “It won’t kill you to spend the rest of the night here. I’ll be good, I swear.” He offered his pinky, which made Axel laugh.

 “Twist my arm, why don’t you.” The redhead intertwined his pinky with Roxas’. “Alright fine, but only if you behave yourself. I’m not going to take advantage of your sleep deprivation.” Roxas snorted.

“Oh, so you’re going to wait until I’m well rested to take advantage of me?” He crossed his arms, attempting to pin Axel with a suspicious glare. The smile in his eyes certainly gave it away.

 “Yep. The very minute you wake up tomorrow I’ll strike.” Axel waggled his eyebrows, which earned him a playful smack.

The redhead followed Roxas as he trudged up the stairs to his apartment. He unlocked the door and swung it open, turning on the lights and dumping his phone on the counter. Axel was kind enough to lock the door behind them.

 “Nice place.” He commented, tentatively exploring the living room with both hands shoved in his pockets. “So… Mind if I ask why you kissed me?” Roxas bit his lip, face flaming.

 “I just… Felt nostalgic tonight at that party and I wondered i-if maybe we’d kissed before… When… When we first met. There’s a lot I wish I remembered...”  He admitted.

 “I don’t remember if we did or not…” Axel rubbed the back of his neck, eyes pinned to the floor. “I mean… It’s definitely possible.”

 Reaching over, the blond grabbed his hand. He was far too sleepy to feel embarrassed anymore.

 “Well... If it was you, I don't think I would have minded.”

* * *

 

**AN: My manic ass wrote all this from 3-5 in the morning. Sleep is for the weak. Please leave me comments and kudos, your praise is what I live for.**

 

 

 


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: I’d like to thank everyone who left comments and kudos, they give me the boost I need. Anyway you see the rating? I swear it’s there for a reason. This chapter is uh… A lot more descriptive than previous chapters if you catch my drift.

Slivers of sunlight filtered through thick curtains, slowly illuminating Roxas’ small, tidy bedroom. He thanked the powers that be that it was a Saturday, because he was far too comfortable to even dream about leaving the warmth of his bed. Especially after the awful night he’d had. 

Staring at the popcorn ceiling, his brain struggled to puzzle together the events of the night prior. He could remember feeling hot and sick, and he could remember gratingly loud music. He could also remember getting smooched on the cheek by a sloppy drunk. Scrunching up his nose at the unpleasant memory, he tried to put together what happened next…

He had called Axel, probably waking the unfortunate man in the process… He’d slept in Axel’s car, gotten scolded by Sora and then… 

Oh. Then, drunk off lack of sleep, he had for some reason decided the cherry on top of his wild night should be giving Axel a big fat kiss.

Granted in his sleepy mind it had made complete sense, but now that he’d had a full night’s sleep he felt rather foolish. Rolling over onto his side he was met with yet another memory from the night prior.

Curled up on his side facing Roxas was Axel, still fast asleep. _ ‘It was only polite to let him stay…’  _ He struggled to reassure himself.  _ ‘It was like… 1:00 in the morning. No one should be out driving at 1:00 in the morning.’ _

As embarrassed as he was, Roxas supposed he could have woken up to worse things. Having a friend stay the night wasn’t completely crazy, and even well rested and sober he knew he liked Axel too much to make him sleep on his lumpy couch. Granted this definitely complicated things in terms of how he felt towards the guy. There was certainly something a little bit intimate about waking up next to someone, after all. 

But the redhead looked so relaxed it was hard to regret his decision to let him stay. His chest rose and fell at a slow, steady pace, and his eyelashes were gently brushing against his cheekbones. His arm lay outstretched, and for some reason Roxas’ fingers itched to interlace themselves with his. He met himself halfway by instead scooting just a bit closer to the sleeping man. 

Any bashfulness he might have felt was washed away by the comforting warmth Axel was emitting. If he had to use one word to describe the redhead, it would be warm.

Roxas decided, as he closed his eyes and made himself comfortable, that it wouldn’t hurt to sleep just a little longer.

When he woke a second time, it was to the aggravating sound of his buzzer. Whoever was pressing it was doing so repeatedly. Much to his chagrin, he had become completely enveloped in the redhead’s lanky arms. His nose was buried in the dip of Axel’s collarbone, his head resting on one of the man’s broad shoulders. How the two of them had managed this in their sleep was beyond him, but when he finally tried to maneuver himself out of the taller male’s warm grasp the redhead pulled him back again. He continued his writhing for only a moment longer before he noticed the corner of Axel’s mouth twitch. 

“You’re faking.” Roxas accused with a huff.

“You caught me.” Axel didn’t sound at all apologetic. “Buzzer woke me up.” He could feel the redhead’s grip on him loosen, but he didn’t move. Roxas sighed, partly because he was still tired and partly because he really didn’t want to deal with visitors this early in the morning. Sure, this was sickeningly sweet and beyond embarrassing, but moving was just too much work.

“Oh I see, so I’m just your human heating blanket.” Roxas accused, wriggling out of the other man’s grasp. He sat up, stretching languidly, before catching sight of himself in the mirror hanging on his bedroom door. He was still wearing the clothes he wore the prior evening. That probably wouldn’t look very good.

 “Sure. Let’s go with that.” He could see Axel yawn, rolling onto his back and covering his face with his forearm. “I was just waiting for you to wake up. They’ve been smashing that stupid buzzer for a while now.” Roxas sighed, raking his fingers through his hair in an attempt to make it look somewhat presentable. 

 “Why didn’t you wake me up?” He grumbled, tugging harshly at a knot in his hair. He could see Axel shrug out of the corner of his eye. “Well make yourself presentable. Apparently we have company.” He didn’t bother waiting for a reply, standing and stomping the short distance from his bedroom to the front door. 

 Whoever was at said door was still repeatedly pressing the buzzer. Swinging it open, he saw his cousin almost physically cower at the scowl on his face. Standing beside Sora was his sister, her arms folded delicately across her chest wear a very similar glare.

 “Why weren’t you answering your phone?” She snapped, tapping her feet impatiently.. 

“We were just worried.” Sora clarified, scratching the back of his head and shifting uncomfortably. “I sort of got overly excited last night and forgot to check on you…” He offered an apologetic smile, following Roxas and Namine into his apartment.

 “It’s fine, I know you well enough to know you wouldn’t just leave me there on purpose.” He couldn’t help sounding just a little bitter. Axel had apparently heeded his advice to the best of his ability, looking only slightly like he just woke up. He had apparently decided to settle himself on Roxas’ sofa with some outdated tabloid magazine one of his female friends had left among the garbage piling up on his coffee table. 

 “I dunno, Rox. I wouldn’t give him too hard a time if I were you.” He advised, still flipping through the magazine as if it actually interested him. “He was pretty defensive on your behalf. You should have heard the way he yelled at me over the phone.” He finally looked up from the magazine with a smirk. Roxas saw Namine stop dead in her tracks, her neatly plucked brows furrowing in confusion. 

 Sora didn’t seem all that affected by his cousin’s unexpected company, offering the redhead a grateful smile. Roxas sighed, dragging himself tiredly to the kitchen to offer his guests something to drink. Even though he was very bitter about having been woken up, he couldn’t bring himself to bypass being a good host. 

 “So you must be Axel…” Sora smiled brightly, plopping down in the armchair beside the sofa.

 “And that must make you Sora.” The redhead extended a hand, which the brunette eagerly shook. 

 “You’re here bright and early.” Namine commented, sharp blue eyes boring into Roxas’ unexpected guest. She took a few gliding steps over to the sofa, seating herself next to Axel and neatly smoothing out her skirt. Roxas tossed his cousin a can of soda and handed his sister a glass of water before begrudgingly sitting on the opposite side of his sister. 

 She definitely knew how to make things uncomfortable.

“He came to help me study.” He looked to Axel, making sure they were on the same page. It wasn’t entirely a lie. The redhead  _ had _ offered to keep him company while he stressed over midterms.

“A study session… At ten in the morning?” Namine asked, making no attempt to hide her skepticism. 

“I have a lot of midterms.” Roxas replied defensively. 

“Is that so…” She didn’t seem very convinced, and he pitied Axel, having to sit squished next to his disbelieving sister. Her sitting between them seemed to have been very deliberate.

“So I take it you’re Namine.” The redhead looked more amused than intimidated. “Roxas was right, you do look alike.” Her gaze turned to Roxas, who smiled weakly. 

“I don’t know about that…” She thoughtfully tapped her chin with a perfectly manicured fingernail.. “Roxas’s hair is a lot darker than mine. And _ I _ don’t have resting bitch face.” She smirked, sparing a brief glance at her brother.

“I wouldn’t say he has resting bitch face…” Sora chimed in. “He’s just really good at looking pissed off at everything.” It may have been in his defense, but Roxas felt more like it was a clever jab. On the outside Sora was a big ball of sunshine, but anyone who knew him knew he could be a smart ass.

“And here I thought he was just always thinking really hard about something.” Axel’s comment was the last straw. If he could he would have jabbed the man hard in the ribs with his elbow, but seeing as Namine was between them that wasn’t an option. Instead he pinched his sister’s arm. Hard. She squawked in surprise, rubbing the reddened skin.

“What was that for?” She cried, looking both hurt and betrayed. 

“For saying I had resting bitch face.” He replied cooly. “Why are you even here, anyway?” Sora squirmed in his chair.

“Well partly because Sora went and lost you.” She nodded in the brunette’s direction. “And partly because mom and dad are coming back from Destiny Islands. I called you about a million times but you wouldn’t pick up.” Roxas visibly stiffened.

“So soon? Weren’t they going to stay all winter?” Roxas and Namine’s parents had decided once their nest was empty to buy a vacation home and live out the rest of their lives as snowbirds. Because of this, Roxas was able to enjoy six months out of the year without his parents’ constant criticism.

“Roxas, it’s almost spring.” She put a sympathetic hand on his shoulder. “Besides, Hayner is getting married. You can’t expect them not to come, not when they’re such good friends with his parents.” 

“Everyone in this town seems to be friends with everybody.” Roxas muttered sourly.

Now it  _ definitely _ seemed like the whole town was invited. It was a mystery to him why anyone would invite his parents to anything. He didn’t even think he’d invite them to his own wedding.

 “I just thought I’d give you a fair warning.” Her gaze darted to the tall man sitting on her opposite side before returning to Roxas again. 

 “Great…” He pinched the bridge of his nose, allowing himself to slump forward with his elbows resting on his knees. Not only was Hayner getting married. Not only had school decided to wait until just now start giving him trouble. Not only was a certain stupidly charming redhead making his heart beat fast and brain feel like it was short circuiting… Now his parents, two people who expected their children to be the flawless creations they themselves had molded into perfection, were coming back to probably nag him for not being married and having a spotless house and 2.4 well mannered children yet. 

 “My aunt and uncle set the bar really high.” Sora explained to a probably very confused Axel. Roxas snorted.

 “Why else do you think I’m going to law school, of all things? Sora got the relaxed family-before-business parents while I got the high strung live-up-to-your-potential ones.” Axel nodded sympathetically. 

 “Roxas practically lived at my house the last year of high school.” Sora recalled. 

 “Yeah well I didn’t really have much of a choice.” Roxas rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly, trying to ignore the blood rushing to his face. That was a whole other can of worms.

 “Forget all that.” Namine waved her hand, as if to wave away the gloom that had suddenly settled over them. “I just wanted to give you a heads up in advanced. They may be oblivious but they aren’t stupid so just… be careful.” She set the empty glass on scuffed up coffee table before standing abruptly and heading to the door. “It was nice to finally meet you Axel.” She added, as if it were an afterthought. Sora stood, soda still in hand, and followed the petite blonde. 

 “We should hang out again soon… Let me make up for the fact that I forgot to check on you last night.” He smiled ruefully before following Namine out the door. It closed with a definite click, and Roxas immediately felt his posture relax.

 “You and your sister look the same when you’re mad.” Axel commented. Looking up from the spot on the floor he’d been boring into, he could see the redhead had spread himself out on the sofa with a pensive look on his face. 

 “Thanks.” He replied sarcastically. He was still feeling very overwhelmed, the fact that he resembled his sister was the last thing he’d wanted to hear. 

 “It’s not a bad thing.” Axel added reassuringly. “You look good when you’re mad too. I prefer you when you aren’t, but you look good all the same.” Roxas felt a blush burn from his face all the way to his neck. There was a brief silence, the only sound being the rhythmic ticking of the wall clock. Roxas was fine with this. It gave him time to stew on his less than stellar situation.

 “You know, you’ve actually met my entire family. Aside from my grandma, that is, but that’s only a matter of time.” Axel noted, staring up at the ceiling as if there was something there he found particularly interesting. The look on his face was still thoughtful. “My dad left when Kairi was maybe a year old, so my mom had to move in with Granny since she couldn’t take care of us all on her own.” Axel’s tone was casual, clashing completely with the mood of the story he was telling. “I don’t really remember him but Reno does. He’s still pretty mad, but all I’ve ever known is what I have now so I can’t really complain.” 

 “I’m sorry…” It was all Roxas could think to say. He couldn’t remember Axel ever telling him this much about himself before. He shook his head.

“It doesn’t bother me. I just figured it was only fair you hear some of my sob story, since your sister and cousin sort of partially spilled yours for you. I know some of your complicated family bullshit, now you know some of mine.” It was comforting, in an odd sort of way, to listen to someone else’s problems instead of marinating on his own. To know he shared a sort of kinship with Axel when it came to suboptimal family situations. Roxas bit his lip. The reason for his sister's’ warning was still fresh on his mind. 

He had always been careful… Out of all his friends, only Xion knew of the things he had spent the last few years trying his damndest to hide. That’s how it always was and how he intended it to stay. Still, he knew secrets like his didn’t stay secret forever. Nor should they if he was ever to have a serious relationship with someone. If he was ever to share his life with someone like Hayner was with Olette. Looking at Axel he exhaled a small puff of air.

“Does your family know that you uh...” He couldn’t bring himself to finish his sentence, his hands shaking in his lap.

“Bat for the other team?” Axel grinned crookedly. Roxas nodded, a little ashamed to be asking something so personal. He could feel his nails digging into his palms. The redhead only laughed, apparently not the least bit offended. 

“Yeah, they’ve all known for a while now.” He seemed more amused by the question than anything else. “I was in high school and I thought I might as well spill the beans since I was dating someone at the time and I was too lazy to actually go through all the trouble of hiding it.” He explained, shaking his head with a snicker. He brushed a stray strand of hair out of his face before elaborating. 

“My mom actually cried, believe it or not. She was crying off and on all day, eventually my grandma got so annoyed she up and yelled at her. ‘Stop crying Colleen, we all knew it was coming.’” The redhead mimicked his grandmother in a high pitched voice. Roxas couldn’t help but chuckle uncontrollably at such a silly reaction. “She was right though. Apparently Reno and Kairi had known all along and just never said anything.”

Roxas couldn’t imagine Axel’s mother that reacting badly to anything. She was never anything but friendly and compassionate to Roxas. That gave him hope. Not a lot of hope, but some. If Axel’s mother didn’t take it well at first but got over it, maybe his would be able to do the same. He continued gnawing ferociously at his bottom lip.

“My uh… Parents don’t know anything about that yet.” He admitted, looking down at his lap where his hands lay clasped tightly and still trembling. “I’ve always gotten the feeling they wouldn’t take it well, so only a few people know.” He took a deep breath before continuing, trying to dispel the sick feeling in his stomach. “I didn’t start dating until senior year of high school. I was so scared of them finding out I spent pretty much all my time Sora’s house.” His aunt, Sora’s mother, worked the night shift and didn’t return until morning. This meant that it was usually only Sora and sometimes Riku around, both of whom promised not to rat him out.

“When I left for college it wasn’t that bad, but I still have to walk on eggshells around them, you know?” Whenever they visited he had to gather up his entire life and hide it away in favor of the facade he knew they would accept. He had to be the hard worker, the thriving law student, someone both eligible and marriage material. They wouldn’t accept him as he was, overworked, stressed to death, and pining over not one but  _ two  _ people, both of whom also happened to be men..

Axel hummed in thought, stretching long legs out and resting them on the coffee table. He reached across the small expanse that separated them, putting his hand on Roxas’ head.

“I sort of figured it was something like that, the way your sister was talking.” He admitted, combing comforting fingers through messy hair. It seemed to Roxas that playing with his hair was just something Axel liked to do. “I guess that’s why your sister wants me to step off.” He offered a cheesy grin. Roxas rolled his eyes, leaning into the touch in spite of himself.

“No, she likes you. She would have given you the cold shoulder if she didn’t.” All things considered, Namine had been a lot easier on Axel than he would have expected. She was always particularly judgmental of the men her brother was interested in.

_ ‘But am I interested in Axel?’  _ He still wasn’t entirely sure of the answer. He was leaning towards yes. He couldn’t bring himself to say that he  _ wasn’t _ interested, at least. 

“She’s protective, is all. She’s probably just on edge because of mom and dad.” Axel nodded, fingers still embedded in Roxas’ hair. 

“Better protective than stuck up and distant.” The redhead was smiling that infectious smile again. Roxas snorted, but had to agree. He appreciated Namine’s protective nature, to a certain degree. “So do you really only live off of takeout, or do you actually buy groceries?” The blond rolled his eyes, lolling his head to the side so he was looking at Axel head on rather than out of his peripheral vision.

“If TV dinners and frozen pizzas count as groceries, then yes.” He responded snidely. “Do you honestly think I know how to cook? Or have the time, for that matter…” The redhead merely shrugged, unperturbed by Roxas’ snark. Pulling his hand away from where it had previously been tangled in Roxas’ hair, he left his place on the couch and proceeded to grab his coat and wallet from where he had left them on the kitchen island. Roxas immediately began to miss the calming touch.

“I’ll be right back, then.” And without another word, Axel left. Roxas felt incredibly confused and even more sorry for himself. He hated to admit it, but he had grown quite fond of Axel’s apparent fascination with his hair. 

Finding himself with nothing all that interesting to do and not wanting to delve into the thesis he had most recently been struggling with, he decided to wake himself up with a shower. His body felt sweaty and grimy from the night prior, and he didn’t really like the idea of spending the entire day feeling that way. 

He grabbed a handful of clean clothes and ambled slowly to the bathroom, locking the door behind him out of reflex. When one grows up with a sibling one learns quickly that in order to have any privacy at all they must always lock the door. Such habits died hard, even having lived alone for the past few years.

Stepping into the relatively small stall, he slid the door closed behind him and twisted the knob on the faucet, allowing the almost scaldingly hot water to pour over his tired body. If it were up to him, he would have slept the entire day away. 

Except he would have been doing so cuddled up with a certain tall, handsome redhead with boundary issues.

One that always seemed to be messing his hair up with those long fingers of his… Absentmindedly combing through tousled hair. 

Especially when they kissed; hot breath mingling while Roxas struggled to keep composure before finally giving in with reckless abandon. Then he would grip Roxas like he’d never let go, massaging his scalp with those long fingers and trailing hot wet kisses along the hollow of his throat.

Roxas froze, eyes staring unfocused at the grime forming in the grout of the shower tile. His spine tingled and he could feel his face growing beet red. Why now of all times did he have to think these things? He’d done such a good job stuffing them away before… 

But the fact still stood, he had let his guard down and now his mind was wandering. Past the warm, slow kisses of last night. Past all of the seemingly innocent contact that always made his body fizzle with electricity. Back all the way to the burning kisses that left his lips feeling swollen and hungry for more, kisses that left red and purple bruises from his pulse to the curve of his collarbone. Those long fingers that usually found their way into his hair wrapping around his cock…

“Fuck…” He cursed, leaning his forehead against the cool tile. “Fuck, fuck, fuck!” In vain he tried thinking of the least sexy things he could think of. “Nonlinear regression… Legal ethics… C-constitutional law… Shit!” Not even mind numbingly boring college material could stop his body from committing mutiny.

He was hard. All he could do now was fix the situation as quickly as possible and mull over the implications later.

He shuddered, his breathing growing irregular as he allowed his hands to wander. The fact that Axel said he would be back apparently did nothing to hinder his swelling erection. If anything, the thought of Axel returning only served to excite him more. Another thing he would have to address at a later time.

Supporting himself against the wall with one arm, he bit his lip hard as he wrapped a hand around his aching cock. He stroked himself slowly, digging his thumb into his slit while he imagined the only thing he  _ could _ imagine. Axel’s big, warm hands squeezing and pumping while he looked at him with those green, green, too green eyes. 

He could almost feel those hot kisses being spattered all along his neck and he was close, too close to bother being quiet anymore. With a guttural groan he came into his hand, letting his body tip forward to rest against the wall as his legs suddenly turned to jelly.

Once he had recovered enough to leave the shower, which in and of itself took a while, and toweled himself off, he pulled on the clothes he’d left in a pile on the bathroom floor and left the bathroom to defog itself.

An audible sigh of relief escaped his lips when he saw his apartment was still empty. He shuffled into the living room and sprawled himself out on the sofa. His brain felt like a puddle of mush, as did his body. In spite of inner protests, he allowed himself to relax, blue eyes sleepily glued to the ceiling.

He was asleep before he even had a chance to scold himself.

Roxas didn’t know how long he had dozed off for. The next thing he heard was the slam of his front door.

“You’re just asking to get burgled, leaving your place unlocked like this.” Axel commented, tossing the grocery bags he had been carrying onto the kitchen counter. The blond pulled himself up to sitting position, blinking his eyes blearily.

“I usually keep it locked…” He muttered. He had apparently forgotten to lock up after Axel suddenly left.

“Yeah, yeah. Don’t make a habit of it. Wouldn’t want to come home to a ransacked apartment.” The redhead was still poking around Roxas’ kitchen, looking through various cupboards until he found ones he deemed suitable for whatever he’d gone out and bought. “What, is your kitchen just for show or something? I mean I knew you didn’t have a lot of food here but damn, Rox.” 

“What the hell did you even buy?” The redhead had given him no hints as to what his intentions were before he left.

“Just basic stuff. Milk, eggs…” He turned to Roxas with a wide smile. “How do pancakes sound for breakfast?” The blond squinted skeptically.

“How do I know you’re not going to accidentally burn down the entire apartment complex?” His suspicion only served to entertain Axel.

“While that does sound exciting, pancakes are about the easiest thing a person can make.” He assured him. 

“Fine.” Roxas acquiesced. “But if I smell smoke I’m kicking you and your pancakes to the curb.” It was an empty threat, and Axel seemed to know it. The blond closed his eyes, perfectly content in going back to sleep. It only took a few strides of Axel’s long legs, however, for him to reach the sofa Roxas was napping on. Crouching beside it, he gave Roxas’ cheek a poke.

“You said you had to study today, remember.” He not so helpfully reminded him. The blond opened his eyes and rolled on his side to more easily glower at Axel. The redhead frowned.

“What happened to your lip?” He ran his thumb over Roxas’ lower lip, causing him to tense.

“What about my lip?” He snapped, trying his hardest to muster up a look acidic enough to make Axel drop the subject. The redhead merely rolled his eyes, immune to Roxas’ sour look.

“No need to get defensive, geez. It just looks bruised. I was just curious since you tend to bite your lip a lot, but I’ve never seen you bite it hard enough to bruise.” Sharp eyes continued their examination of Roxas’ face, and he struggled not to go red from embarrassment.

“Do you always have to play doctor?” He grumbled, swatting the redhead’s hand away. He couldn’t think of any other way to respond other than to hide his shame with annoyance. What was he supposed to say, ‘I bruised my own stupid lip jerking off’?

“Only with you.” Axel gave him a pat on the cheek before returning to his former task of rummaging around his kitchen.

“Dirty old man.” Roxas commented, loud enough that Axel would certainly be able to hear.

“Dirty, maybe. But not old.” He replied, raising his voice slightly so he could be heard over his banging around Roxas’ pots and pans.

Rolling off of the sofa, the blond reluctantly grabbed his laptop and textbooks. As glad as he should have been to be given the push he needed to actually spend his weekend studying, he was more peeved that he had to spend the day suffering.

He hated statistics. He hated economics. He hated humanities. At this very moment he hated all of his classes. After successfully bullshitting one essay, he let his head fall forward and thunk against the coffee table. He just lay there for a moment, resting his cheek against the cool wood. His mind was buzzing with thoughts that fought and contradicted one another tirelessly.

Even as he shoveled big syrupy bites of pancake in his mouth he was at war with himself. Axel watched him wordlessly. Whatever he was thinking was to remain a tantalizing mystery. After breakfast, Axel lounged on the couch while Roxas scrolled through pages and pages of notes.

“So this is all lawyer stuff?” He eventually asked after what seemed like an eternity of just watching. Roxas turned to see Axel staring intently at his laptop screen.

“Uh… Yeah pretty much. I haven’t decided what kind of lawyer I’ll be yet…” He pushed his laptop away, leaning back against the sofa. “The place I’m interning at is corporate.” The redhead hummed, running his fingers through Roxas’ hair once more, eliciting a contented sigh from the blond.

“It’d be a real riot if you ended up being an ambulance chaser.” Axel observed. Roxas cracked a smile.

“That would be pretty ironic.” He agreed. “I can’t really see myself as one of those skeezy lawyers who have their own commercials though. When it comes to ambulances I’m more likely to end up in one than chasing one.” Axel grinned.

“As much as I love spending time with you, I’d rather it wasn’t en route to the ER.” Roxas felt his chest constrict. 

It wouldn’t be hard to date Axel. It wouldn’t be hard at all… But after all his lousy luck he wanted to be  _ sure _ . One hundred percent positive that no part of him was trying to use this guy as some sort of substitute for a love that could never be. 

The only problem was, he didn’t know  _ how _ to be sure. What if he was never sure? What if being sure took too long and Axel didn’t want to wait?

“So I  _ shouldn’t _ refuse every EMT I get until I end up with you?” His lips quirked into an impish grin as he leaned his head back far enough to look at Axel. Granted his view was a bit topsy turvy, but he could clearly see the wide, attractive smile on the redhead’s face.

“No, you shouldn’t. But that does seem like something someone as picky as you are would do.” Roxas stuck his tongue out in response, though he couldn’t deny that he was pretty picky.

“You fuss over me so much, how is anyone else going to know as much as you do.” He retorted. The blond maneuvered himself so Axel didn’t look like he was upside down anymore. Now that they were properly face to face he found himself entranced by the redhead’s piercing green, green eyes.

“You have a point.” Axel held Roxas’ gaze. “I guess I do fuss over you. A little.” He cupped Roxas’ cheek with a warm hand, tracing his bruised lip with thumb and letting the touch linger. The blond could feel himself leaning in, tilting his head to accept a sinfully delicious kiss. His arms wove themselves around the redhead’s neck, toying with the fine hairs at the base of his skull. He could feel Axel smile into the kiss as they crushed their lips together. 

Their first kiss felt like it lasted an eternity, soft and sweet, just lips moving against lips. When they eventually came up for air, Roxas gasped at the feeling of Axel’s tongue tracing his swollen bottom lip. He pulled the taller man closer, and the redhead took it as an invitation to delve his tongue into Roxas’ mouth. He delighted in the gentle rhythm of their tongues moving together, slow and sensual and absolutely divine. For a while the only sounds either of them could hear were the soft whirring of Roxas’ laptop and the wet sound of their mouths separating and meeting again.

He was all too happy to forgo studying in favor of this. If this was what studying with Axel was like he would all too happily comply. Axel hummed into the kiss, sitting up slightly to allow Roxas to settle himself in his lap. The blonde shuddered at the feeling of long nimble fingers sneaking up the back of his shirt and tracing the notches of his spine. As indecisive a person as he was, Roxas’ endorphin drunk brain found this situation perfectly acceptable.

Axel pulled away from the kiss to mouth the soft flesh behind Roxas’ ear. He tipped his head back with a moan, both hands tightly fisting the taller man’s shirt. Both men would have all too willingly continued their ministrations, had they not been interrupted by pounding on the front door and a vicious assault to the already battered buzzer. 

Axel sighed, burying his nose in the crook of Roxas’ neck. This did not sit well with the blond’s libido. 

“Is today ‘show up at Roxas’ house uninvited’ day?’” He groused, arms still draped over Axel’s shoulders. Axel chuckled, warm breath fanning the blond’s collarbone. He had half a mind to stomp over to his front door and tell whoever it was that he was busy making out with his kind-of-sort-of boyfriend. Instead, he pressed his lips against Axel’s in one last lingering kiss before climbing off of him to answer the door.

He hoped it wasn’t too obvious that he had just been rather heavily making out with someone. 

Swinging the door open testily, he was met with the smiling faces of Hayner and Pence. His heart began beating so fast it felt like it might explode, only this time it was pounding for a different reason entirely. He could feel himself breaking out into a nervous sweat.

“What are you guys doing here?” Roxas struggled to keep his voice from wavering.

“We’ve been trying to get a hold of you for hours!” Pence exclaimed.

“So we decided to come see what was so important that you wouldn’t answer your phone.” Hayner’s scowl looked far from authentic.

 “I was studying all day. Unlike _some_ people, I care about my grades.” Why did it sound like a horrible, horrible excuse? It was partially true. Hayner scoffed, shoving his way into Roxas’ apartment, causing the shorter blond to nearly have a heart attack.

“Why’s the guy from the diner here?” Hayner inquired, causing Axel to raise an eyebrow. He was facing forward now, sitting on the couch like nothing ever happened.

“Stop being an ass, Hayner.” Roxas pushed past his friend and claimed the seat on the couch next to Axel. The less they harassed him, the better.

“And here I thought I’d be a little more memorable than that.” The redhead commented. Pence looked almost nervous

“You’re Roxas’ doctor friend, right?” Axel apparently didn’t have the heart to correct him.

 “Yeah, that’s right. I’m glad at least _you_ remember me considering my family feeds you all the time.” He smiled crookedly and Pence laughed.

“How come you’re studying with  _ him _ .” Hayner nodded in Axel’s direction. “We would’a come over too.” Roxas massaged his temples.

“Because  _ Axel _ offered.” He was too sexually frustrated and tired to deal with Hayner’s antics today.

“It’s fine, far be it from me to stand in the way of such good friends.” Axel’s voice sounded tight and there was something artificial about his smile. He stood, causing the weight on the sofa to shift. 

“Wait, I’ll see you out.” Roxas struggled to pull himself up quickly, but Axel merely shook his head.

“Don’t sweat it. I can see myself out. See you later, Rox.” He gave a little salute, grabbing his coat and wallet and exiting Roxas’ apartment. He was left staring at the door long after Axel had gone.

“That guy rubs me the wrong way.” Hayner stated once the redhead had left.

“Hayner, everyone rubs you the wrong way.” Pence pointed out. Roxas shifted uncomfortably, his stomach churning. It was tiring, having to put on a show for his friends every time they met up. The charade felt even worse when he had to someone else along with it.

“Would it kill you to be friendly?” Roxas asked bitterly, folding his arms over his chest. “I don’t treat  _ your  _ friends like garbage.” Hayner gave a half hearted grunt of agreement. It didn’t seem very sincere.

Roxas didn’t get any more studying done that night. The remainder of his friends’ visit was spent discussing wedding dates and details, and he was left with an empty feeling in his gut even until his apartment was empty.

* * *

**AN: I’m so sorry. The Orchestra concert gave me so many emotions I just had to. As always, feel free to fave, leave kudos, and review. Even if the only thing you put is an emoticon I will cherish it forever.**


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: This fic is now officially the longest I’ve ever written. I’d pat myself on the back, but more than anything I feel bad making you guys read these insanely long chapters! BTW Trigger Warning for homophobia. I felt terrible the whole time I wrote it but it comes from a place of experience.

Eyeing the files on his desk, Roxas released a long sigh, tipping his head back so far he could almost see the cubicle behind him. He was supposed to be assisting the research and policy team today and, predictably, he ended up doing most of the research. All because it was just _so_ easy to take advantage of the lowly intern.

 Unfortunately he was having a hell of a time focusing. Why Murphy’s Law decided to kick in now of all times, he would never know. Whether or not he knew why everything seemed to be going wrong at once, the fact stood that it just was.

 That morning he got a very lengthy phone call from his parents. The reason for the call was to set up some sort of family dinner. By family dinner, Roxas would have assumed that it would be a meal with only _family_ , however both he and Namine were invited to bring their significant others along as well..

 It was a kind gesture in theory, inviting his hypothetical partner to the dinner as well, but they hadn’t used the word ‘partner’. They had used the word girlfriend. It may have been his imagination, but it seemed as if they were stressing it. As if the use of the word was a deliberate threat. They both ended up saying it an excessive number of times.

 Aside from the inevitably tense dinner with his parents, he also hadn’t heard from Axel since Hayner had decided to drop in unannounced and be as rude as he possibly could be. It wasn’t for lack of trying either. He had probably sent a dozen texts to the man, a dozen and one including the apology for Hayner’s rudeness.

 There was a knock on his thin cubicle wall, causing him to sit up abruptly so it didn’t look like he was slacking. Vexen, owner of the cubicle behind his and all around grouch, looked thoroughly unamused.

 “Aqua is asking for you in her office.” He informed him blandly, electing to ignore the fact that Roxas had just been burning his eyeballs up staring into the florescent lights above. He stood with a grunt, walking as hastily as he could without actually running.

When he opened the door, Aqua looked up at him from her computer with a smile. This was his first time actually getting to see Aqua’s office. Whenever she needed Roxas she went to find him herself. It was very neat and tidy with a few little knick knacks sitting in a row on her desk. Upon further inspection Roxas could see a few picture frames on display.

One was of Aqua, dressed in her cap and gown smiling proudly as she held a diploma in her hands. She looked a bit younger, but hardly any different than she did now.

Another had Aqua and someone he’d never seen before laughing under a shower of uncooked rice. The woman was dressed in a fluffy white silk gown with rice sticking in her hair and the veil on her head. She was holding tightly to the hand of a tall brunette man as they fled the downpour of rice.

The last looked a bit like a school picture, a little blond boy of maybe four or five smiling goofily with a big jelly stain on his nice little cardigan.

“That’s my husband and I on our wedding day.” She pointed toward the photo, apparently noticing Roxas’ enthrallment with the pictures. “I accidentally threw the bouquet so hard no one could catch it. It nearly broke the window.” She laughed, smiling fondly at the photo. “I really underestimated my strength. Terra wouldn’t let me hear the end of it”

Roxas didn’t know why everything in his life suddenly had to be about weddings, but Aqua looked happier than he’d ever seen anyone look, and so did the man in the photo even as he was being dragged down the church steps with rice in his hair and accumulating in the folds of his tuxedo.

“And that’s my son, Ven.” She pointed to the photo of the smiling child. “He didn’t take preschool picture day very seriously.” She explained with a chuckle.

Before Hayner announced his engagement, Roxas never put any thought into marriage and weddings or the possibility of having a family someday. He had initially been adverse to the idea considering the mounting pressure from his parents. Now he found himself stewing on the subject a lot.

It seemed like such a hassle. Helping Hayner and Olette had shown him just how needlessly complicated the process could be. It didn’t help that the couple decided to invite everyone in town, and it especially didn’t help that they’d given themselves so little time to plan.

But Aqua looked absolutely elated, and seeing the joy on her face made it seem like the months of agonizing planning were worth it

“I didn’t know you had kids…” Roxas commented, unable to look away from the picture of the laughing couple.

“Only one.” Aqua clarified. “Adopted. He’s my treasure.” She gently brushed the photograph with her fingers. Pulling her hand away, she looked back up at Roxas with a sheepish smile. “I’m sorry, I got distracted. Please have a seat.” Roxas shook his head, slowly lowering himself into the plush office chair.

“No, I got distracted first.” This made Aqua laugh.

“We were both distracted, no need to be nice about it.” She leaned back, clasping her hands together. “I called you in because I was wondering if you would like to start working under my supervision. I know you haven’t had much experience with observation yet, so if you wouldn’t mind assisting me…” She shrugged. “I could use the help, and It wouldn’t be any trouble to bring you along with me every once in awhile. It won’t always be very exciting, and I’ll definitely have you doing more than what Ansem has you doing, but if you’re getting sick of _only_ doing write-ups...” She let the offer hang. Roxas nodded enthusiastically. He’d do anything to get out of research and liability write ups.

“I’d be glad to, thank you Aqua.” He didn’t know how he could ever thank the woman enough, but she seemed to pick up on how grateful he was. She reached over the desk and clapped him on the shoulder. 

“I’m happy to have you. You can finish up whatever you were doing today. Just report to me tomorrow, I’ll make sure I have something ready for you to do.” She released Roxas with a wink, and he returned to his cubicle feeling a bit better.

Axel was the first he told his good news to, since Axel was the only one who seemed genuinely interested in things like this. He never got a reply

The next day Roxas’ mood only worsened. He had passed all of his midterms with flying colors, save for one. Since he had done fairly well in the class until now, this D wouldn’t bring his grade down too much, but it was still a big blow.

His parents wouldn’t be happy. He hoped they wouldn’t bring up school or work at dinner that evening, but he wasn’t optimistic.

Worse still, he was still getting nothing but crickets from Axel. He couldn’t understand why, they’d been through far worse things than Hayner’s bad attitude and come out of it just fine.

Working with Aqua was definitely a lot nicer than answering to anyone on Vexen’s team or worse, to Ansem himself. She actually let him look over current case files, and didn’t treat answering his questions like a chore.

He was thankful she had taken pity on him.

Actually having work to keep him busy made the time pass rather quickly. Before Roxas knew it, it was time to clock out.

Then he would have a little time before he had to face his parents.

On the way home he found himself stopping at the diner, but couldn’t bring himself to do anything but look in through the window. Whether Axel was there or not, he didn’t have the courage to actually go inside. Besides, even if Axel were there he had no idea what he would say to him.

This of course made him feel like a total stalker, and he found himself retreating rather quickly to avoid being seen.

He chastised himself the entire ride home for being such a creep.

Even so, it was frustrating, being ignored like this. If at least knew why he might be able to accept it and move on, but he wasn’t even given that much.

After returning to a very empty, lonely apartment, he sprawled out on the sofa and stared up at the ceiling as he attempted to get his thoughts in order. It would probably be best to figure out what went wrong before he saw Axel again. Unfortunately the only thoughts he could muster were disorganized and overtly sexual. This was not helpful in the least.

 Sitting up so fast it made him feel dizzy, he immediately decided he needed some air. He was expecting his parents in only a few hours and there was no way he could face them with thoughts like those running rampant in his head.

The cool spring air on his face was a welcome relief, and it was easy to for him to momentarily forget that he was an all around mess once he had reached full speed jogging through his neighborhood.

Roxas could feel the resistance of wind in his hair, relishing the burn he felt in his calves. He was still dressed in his work clothes, a sight that was probably a bit comical. He probably had run around the block nearly four times before deciding on an actual destination.

He wondered, as he ran past shops and churches and quaint little houses, why he had never thought of running off his pent up frustrations until now.

For a brief while his brain was too full of adrenaline and his lungs were too busy screaming for oxygen for him to dwell on the cacophony of things that were bothering him.

The clouds were beginning to turn pinkish purple as the sun started to set. Soon the horizon would be red and orange instead, and then the sky would be a dark indigo decorated with little speckles of stars.

Eventually the air started to cool significantly, signalling that it was probably time to head back to his apartment unless he wanted his parents to see him looking sweaty and disheveled. A small part of Roxas wished he could have kept running forever, without stopping.

Upon returning to his apartment he looked up at the wall clock to find that it was already a little past seven. Rushing to grab clothes that weren’t coated in sweat, he took the world’s quickest shower and hurriedly dried his hair so it didn’t look like he put off getting ready until the very last minute.

It was at seven thirty exactly that his parents arrived, Namine in tow. It seemed like the second they were in his apartment they were judging every little bit of decor with scrutinous gazes.

“Mom, Dad… Good to see you.” Roxas offered a strained smile.

“We’ve been gone for nearly six months and not a single thing has changed.” His father commented. He laughed nervously.

“What can I say, I’m a stickler for keeping things familiar.” His father nodded wordlessly.

“You should grab a light jacket, dear. It’s getting chilly already.” His mother advised. Grabbing the nearest jacket he could find, he followed both of his parents out to their nice, spotless car.

“I think I’m craving Italian tonight.” His mother commented.

“Italian sounds great.” Namine piped up. Both She and Roxas knew their parents couldn’t ever agree on anything. If their mother wanted Italian then their father would want Chinese.

“I could go for Italian.” Roxas added.  Outnumbered three to one, Roxas’ father relented. Italian it was.

The car ride was quiet as he and Namine communicated silently through pointed gazes. It couldn’t have been more than ten minutes before they had arrived at their destination.

It was a restaurant Roxas had been to with his family dozens of times. The bad lighting, tacky decorations, and cheesy silhouettes painted on the walls of people flipping pizzas were all achingly familiar. His mother would order the spaghetti carbonara, his father the cheese ravioli, Namine fettucine alfredo, and Roxas the chicken parm. This was how it was every time, and how it would probably be until the end of time.

Roxas wasn’t the only creature of habit in the family.

Sure enough everyone in the family was met with their signature dishes, but he found it very hard to stomach his food. For some reason his comfortingly familiar meal wasn’t so comforting.

“I’m just so surprised Hayner is getting married before you.” His mother commenting, twisting a bite of spaghetti onto her fork.

“Why do you say that?” Roxas asked, forcing down a bite of chicken. The meat was dry and tasteless, but it was the conversation more than anything that left a bad taste in his mouth. Namine looked as if she were secretly monitoring the conversation lest it go awry.

“Oh I don’t mean to sound like I’m insulting Hayner. He’s a lovely boy.” She amended. “It’s just that you’re so handsome. I thought you would have found _someone_ by now.”

“Not everyone is lucky enough to marry their high school sweetheart, mom.” Namine informed her, her tone hard. The older woman pressed her lips together in a tight, thin line.

“I’m just… Focusing on my career right now.” Roxas said, foolishly attempting to save the conversation.

“Just how’s that going, by the way?” His father skewered a ravioli with his fork, pinning his son in place with a harsh gaze.

“Really good… Um…” Roxas scrambled for something impressive sounding to say. “I just finished taking my midterms and I’m interning under one of the best attorneys at the firm.” All he got from that was a silent, unimpressed nod.

“If only you’d gone to college.” Their mother commented offhandedly, icy blue eyes pinned on Namine. “You’ll never reach your full potential working in a knick knack shop all your life.” Roxas could see his sister’s face grow bright red, whether from embarrassment or anger he couldn’t tell.

“It takes a lot to own your own business.” He pointed out. Namine shot him a grateful look.

“I suppose.” She relented, though it didn’t sound like she meant it. “All the more reason for you to do something else with your life. You’ll never be able to care for your husband and children at this rate. No one makes money off of art, dear” Roxas could have sworn he saw his sister’s eye tick.

“I’m doing what I want with my life. _Some_ people value happiness over money.” Namine argued. Their mother made a noise of contempt, but didn’t bother arguing the point.

“You know my business associate has a daughter who’s about your age.” Their father pointed his fork at Roxas.

“That’s nice.” Was all he could say, trying to stuff down the anxiety that was churning his stomach. The last thing he wanted right now was to be his parents’ project, until they got frustrated and ultimately decided to choose everything _for_ him. He did his best to ignore the useless information spilling from his father’s mouth about some girl he’d never date or even meet, instead letting his gaze wander.

The restaurant was filled mostly with families and couples on dates, all apparently having a much more pleasant experience than he was. Eventually their waiter came by again to fulfill his duty and ask if everything was to their satisfaction.

He seemed like a nice enough guy. He looked more like he belonged in a rock band than at an Italian eatery, and he was a little clumsy seeing as Roxas had witnessed him almost dump a plate of spaghetti on a child’s head earlier that evening, but he was nice all the same. His bright smile was also a durable one, never faltering as Roxas’ mother loudly complained about the restaurant being too cold and her spaghetti having too few bits of sausage and too much pepper.

“I’m sorry. I could have it remade for you but it would take a while.” He didn’t sound sorry at all, but Roxas really couldn’t blame him.

“Please do.” The woman narrowed her eyes at the smiling waiter. Roxas outwardly groaned. They’d be here all night at the rate his mother was complaining. She made sure to send a scowl his way as the waiter retreated back to the kitchen.

“I didn’t like him.” She stated haughtily, her gaze pinned to the kitchen doors. “There was something off about him.”

“He did seem a little, you know…” His father wavered his hands from side to side. “I mean, look at the way he carries himself.” Roxas felt his stomach drop. The anxiety that had previously churning in his stomach had begun crashing like the waves of an angry sea. His parents opinions on things such as this were more than a bit backwards, based on stereotypes and personal prejudice.

“People like _that_ just can’t commit.” His mother continued. “That’s why they’re always catching things. They’re promiscuous.” Part of him, the part going to law school,  wanted to ask how his mother knew this and what basis she had to prove it. Another part of him, however, felt like he was going to be sick. He felt Namine place a hand on his knee and give it a squeeze.

“You shouldn’t say things like that so loudly.” Namine interrupted boldly. “People will hear you.”

“Why do you always do this, Namine?” Their mother snapped. “I’m sick of you playing devil’s advocate all the time. I’m allowed to voice my opinions, _dear_.”

“Well maybe not everyone wants to hear your opinions, _mother_.” Namine countered. “Maybe some of us would like to have a nice meal without hearing your two cents on everything.” Roxas put a hand on his sister’s.

“Oh come on now, Namine. It’s all in good fun. Your mother wasn’t trying to upset you.” Their father commented, attempting to diffuse the situation.

“If it has nothing to do with you, you have no right to complain.” The woman added. “I’m glad I raised the two of you to be open minded, but this is too much. You can’t get a bleeding heart over causes you have nothing to do with.” The look on her face suggested she had been highly offended. “This generation just doesn’t respect its’ elders.”

Namine’s lips were pressed together tightly, as if she was struggling to hold her tongue. Her grip on Roxas’ knee had tightened considerably.

The waiter soon returned with a new and hopefully improved plate of spaghetti. He topped off everyone’s water and went on his way, Roxas’ mother’s eyes were pinned to him the entire time with a withering glare.

“Of course it doesn’t help that they’re all so into the club scene. All drugs and dancing, it’s not healthy.” She shook her head in distaste. Roxas could feel himself break into a cold, nervous sweat.

“They can’t help it.” His father was apparently going to attempt to defend the drug use and promiscuity ‘those people’ were prone to. People like Roxas. “You know they aren’t right mentally.” This attempt failed horribly. Roxas held his breath, waiting for the next horrible response.

“Mental health is still no excuse. Society has expectations, and it expects people to play their part.” Her eyes roamed from where they were focused on her husband, and stopped at Roxas. This was the last straw, Roxas was either going to throw up or pass out.

It always ended up like this.

“I need to use the restroom.” He stood so quickly he would have overturned his chair if Namine hadn’t had the foresight to catch it. He nearly ran to the restroom, feeling his throat constrict until when he finally arrived all he could do was bend himself over the sink and struggle for air.

His parents had to know something… Maybe they weren’t aware of everything, but there was no way they were completely oblivious. It probably didn’t help that nearly every time things got like this he had to excuse himself to freak out in peace.

Crumbling to the grubby floor he tried to remember that trick Axel had taught him what seemed like forever ago. He clasped his trembling hands together and attempted to breathe normally. He could feel the corners of his eyes prick with warm tears, though he didn’t know what he was crying for. His heart beat erratically in his chest, pounding so loud and hard it almost hurt.

Anxiety ran like blood through his veins, pumping through his body with every irregular beat of his heart and he found he couldn’t move from his spot on the floor. He was completely paralyzed by the overwhelming feeling of dread. More than anything he needed to get out of here, needed to leave and run as he had earlier that day, run and never stop.

But he couldn’t escape. The bathroom had no window, so even if he _could_ move he was now trapped. There was no leaving through the front door, his family would certainly see him. His fingers felt numb, and Axel’s trick was getting difficult to do.

At this rate he would either have a heart attack and die or hyperventilate and pass out.

But it seemed before all that he had to throw up first. Whatever had been weighing his stomach down before suddenly decided it needed to escape. He scrambled as best he could into one of the tiny stalls and expelled everything he’d eaten for dinner. Even after there was nothing left he continued dry heaving until even that too was impossible.

His throat felt tight, like it was closing up. Like he had just been stung by a bee, like he was suffering from some sort of allergic reaction.

This would be the third time something like this happened in a bathroom. At least there was one funny thing Roxas could glean from this.

“Holy shit dude are you okay?” Looking up from his place on the floor, Roxas could see the waiter from earlier peering down at him, appearing to be very alarmed by his current state. _‘Do I look okay?’_ Roxas thought to himself, but all he could do was shake his head no.

“Ah- Shit… Hold on!” And with that the waiter dashed out of the bathroom, leaving Roxas to die next to a toilet. Closing his eyes, he tried his best to take in as much air as he could. It didn’t feel like his body was going to allow him much oxygen at this point. The next time someone entered the tomb that was the bathroom, the voices sounded like they were under water.

“So what happened here? Did you finally poison someone.” This voice was new. Sarcastic. Not one Roxas really recognized, or particularly wanted to keep hearing.

“What? No way!” It was the waiter again. “It looks like an allergic reaction or something…”

“Why in the world didn’t you call sooner if you thought someone was having an allergic reaction?” It was the first voice again, this time more frustrated than sarcastic.

“I thought he was sick so I left him alone…” There was a shuffling sound. “I only came in here to check on him when he never came out!”

“Oh be nice to him, will you. He’s not _purposefully_ killing his customers.” Apparently these people knew the waiter well enough to pick on him. There was something familiar about this voice, but Roxas was too far gone to identify why that was. Maybe if he focused on listening...

The footsteps nearing his stall echoed, and at this point he just hoped whoever the waiter had called would have the decency to take him out back where he could die in a slightly cleaner environment. “Oh for the love of…” He felt someone crouch beside him, lifting a limp wrist and pressing down with their thumb. This gave him the worst deja vu. It was as if he’d been here before. “It would be _really_ great if we could get a pulse ox on him.” The voice sounded strained and tight. Even feeling like he was sinking and subsequently drowning in a lake of stress he could tell that much.

 “We’d _probably_ have to get him to our equipment for that.” Roxas tried to shake his head, the last thing he wanted was to bring more attention to himself, but all he could manage was a little wheeze, his head tipping sideways. He was having trouble moving from where he was sitting, leaning against the cold wall of the bathroom stall, and his breathing was too erratic for actual speech to be possible. He stared at the person next to him with eyes blurry from the tears he’d been fighting. It was hard to make out the expression on his face, but even just the outline of him was enough to know that ironically enough, it was Axel.

Were he able to talk he would have remarked on how funny it was that this always seemed to happen.

“Do we have to?” The redhead had let go of his wrist, instead using his hands to sit Roxas up just a little more. “He probably doesn’t want us to make a big show of it.”

“If you want to drag him all the way to the back be my guest, I’m sure his brain cells love being starved of oxygen.” Sarcasm, again.

“Maybe they wouldn’t be if you just drove around to the fucking back.” Axel snapped. Whoever he had been arguing with retreated, and the outline of what Roxas recognized as the waiter became visible.

“I would have called sooner if I knew, honest.” He insisted. Axel carefully maneuvered Roxas so he was sitting straight up, supporting him so he didn’t just tip forward again.

“You really need to calm your breathing, if you pass out on me now you’ll wake up in the ER full of tubes.” He rubbed his eyes with the back of sleeves, and could see a bit better now that his eyes weren’t full of tears. The dirty blond peeking into the stall had a nervous look on his face. “I know, Dem, don’t worry. It’s not like he’s gone anaphylactic or anything. He just hyperventilated to the point of almost passing out.” Axel sounded amused, but there was still something off with the tone of his voice. He gave Roxas a few rough pats on his back. “After some oxygen and some ativan he’ll be fine.”

“He looks pretty sick…” It seemed the waiter wasn’t so sure. Roxas felt pretty sick. He was glad at least _someone_ seemed to notice. The hand on his back was a lot gentler now, rubbing in warm gentle circles. He could hear Axel hum in thought.

“Hey Demyx, was he at one of your tables tonight?” The waiter, Demyx, must have nodded, because he continued his thought. “Did you see who he was with?”

“A blonde girl, a blonde lady, and a guy with… Brownish hair?” That was an accurate description. Roxas felt a sharp poke in his ribs.

“Was your sister with you? Just nod or shake your head.” Axel scooted so he could better see Roxas’ face, still making sure the blond was upright. He nodded cautiously. “Alright, good…” Axel’s posture relaxed. “Would it be okay with you if we told her you were sick?” He shook his head vigorously. The redhead sighed. “I have a sinking feeling your sister wouldn’t be very happy if we left her out of the loop.  

“She... Can yell at me later.” Roxas gasped. The last thing he wanted was for Namine to find out he was getting carted off in an ambulance and make a big scene. Axel frowned, but he honored Roxas’ wishes.

“How close is their table?” He asked. Demyx looked troubled.

“Pretty close… If they were looking they might see you heading for the back.”

“Stretcher’s out of the question then.” The redhead looked thoughtful.

“I… Can walk.” Roxas insisted. Though he couldn’t breathe normally quite yet, he was having an easier time speaking. Axel pinned him with a disbelieving look.

“Uh huh. I found you half passed out next to your own barf, why wouldn’t I let you _walk_ to the _ambulance_.” Turning back to the waiter, who at this point Roxas was sure had to be a friend of Axel's, he continued as if Roxas wasn’t even there. “I can probably carry him myself as long as he doesn’t go limp on me. Think you could create a diversion?” A mischievous smile crept onto Demyx’s face.

“You kidding? I’d be glad to.” Apparently his parents rudeness was not lost on the waiter. How much he had heard, Roxas didn’t know, but there was no way their attitude could be ignored. Taking this as initiative, Axel scooped Roxas up and hoisted him off of the ground.

“You’re going to have to help me out here, Rox. I’m not _that_ strong.” He admitted with a grin. This time his voice didn’t sound strained. Roxas nodded, holding on as best he could. All he could really manage flinging his arms around the redhead’s neck and holding on with a loose grip. If Axel was having trouble, he didn’t show it.   
  
Once he had his footing, the lanky man left the bathroom in quick long strides. Roxas could briefly see Demyx struggling to towel his angry mother off by all but throwing napkins at her. His father was trying to help, but to no avail. Part of him wished he could have seen what happened. Luckily the restaurant wasn’t very big, and leaving it didn’t take much time or effort.

“You took your time.” The other paramedic was sitting on the floor of the ambulance, both back doors swung open. Now that Roxas was able to actually see him, he could see that he also had very unique hair, as well as a prominent scar resting on the bridge of his nose. It was very interesting to him that Axel knew all these peculiar people. The man stood and pulled the stretcher out before jumping in and messing with a mass of tangled tubes.

“I’m pretty sure his brain cells are still intact, thank you.” Axel awkwardly set Roxas down, struggling to free the arm that was trapped underneath the blond with as little movement as possible. The other man was kind enough to help Axel load the stretcher into the ambulance, but left the rest of the set up to the redhead. It was more than a little weird actually seeing what the vehicle looked like on the inside.

The redhead took a seat beside the stretcher, clipping some sort of device on Roxas’ finger. The other paramedic took his leave, slamming both doors behind him. Unclipping the little device, he examined it.

 “Your pulse ox isn’t great but it’s not as bad as I thought it’d be.” Axel’s posture relaxed a bit as he got up to grab something from the opposite end of the vehicle.

 “What’s… A pulse ox?” Roxas had no idea what any of this medical mumbo jumbo meant.

 “Sorry, it’s short for pulse oximeter which still probably doesn’t help much. It measures oxygen saturation so obviously yours isn’t going to be great since you haven’t been breathing normally.” He rolled an IV over to the top corner of the stretcher, unwinding a long, thin tube. “I’m going to give you an IV drip of ativan. It’s not a lot, just something that will calm you down and make you sleep.” Axel explained, tying off the blond’s upper arm and gently pressing the pads of his fingers along the crook of his elbow until he found a vein.

 Turns out getting an IV needle stabbed into your arm didn’t feel so great. Roxas winced.

 “Sorry.” The redhead smiled apologetically, gently lifting Roxas’ head so he could apply an oxygen mask to his face. This definitely made breathing easier, but it felt strange. Then again that could have been whatever Axel gave him to calm him down, because whatever it was it worked. He felt more like sleeping than dying now.

“Interesting how… We keep meeting like this.” He commented, watching his mask fog up as he spoke. This made Axel laugh.

“The world works in mysterious ways. I feel like I told you this isn’t how I wanted to hang out though.” He quirked an eyebrow.

 “Funny. It seems like this was the only way to get your attention.” Roxas’ filter seemed to have diminished along with his anxiety. A look of guilt flitted across Axel’s face.

 “Right… Well…” He shifted uncomfortably. “No, you’re right. It was pretty shitty of me to ignore you.” Even though Roxas knew very well he was purposefully being ignored, it still stung.

 “Why? Why did you do it, I mean.” His eyes drifted to the tube in his arm, following it up until he could see the bag, dripping saline and medication at a steady pace.

 “I… Think I was confused to be honest.” Axel admitted. “I can’t get a good read on you. Like… Half the time you act like you like me and the other half it’s like you’re embarrassed.”

 “I’m not embarrassed.” His eyes found the ceiling, counting every pothole they hit. “I’m nervous… Sometimes.” A lot of the time. “I don’t really know what I’m doing. I’m not good at this.” It was word vomit, whatever part of him monitored what came out of his mouth was out of commission.

 “I think we’re both not very good at this.” Axel replied. “I guess… I’m just insecure or something.” He rubbed the back of his neck nervously. “It’s like… I don’t want to be second best, y’know?” Roxas closed his eyes, taking deep breaths. He surprised Axel by responding.

 “I’m sorry… I never wanted to make you feel bad... I keep trying to understand myself but I don’t know if I ever will.” He confessed. “I’m such a coward…” He smiled ruefully, opening his eyes again and turning his head to face Axel. “I can’t live the rest of my life being scared my secrets will be discovered, but I don’t know how to be brave enough to stop caring.” Axel gingerly took Roxas’ outstretched hand, mindful of the IV in his arm.

“I don’t think you have to just… Stop caring. You might never not care.” He rubbed the top of the blond’s hand with his thumb. “I think it would be good to stop caring so _much_ … Not everyone is going to take things well and that’s… That’s okay. That’s just how things are.” Roxas smiled, enjoying the nice woozy feeling that had come over him.

“You say that now… Just wait until you meet my parents…” He snorted. “They’re brutal. Just look at me… Couldn’t even last a whole dinner without puking and almost passing out.” Axel chuckled.

“Glad you can look back on the ordeal fondly now that you’re high off tranquilizers.”

“If they come visit me in the ER please shoot me with elephant tranquilizers or something, I can’t deal with them sober and this _definitely_ isn’t enough.” He frowned in thought before adding, “And make sure they don’t see you or they’ll bad mouth you immediately.” The redhead raised a thin brow.

“Oh? What do you think they’d say?” He seemed genuinely curious, so Roxas decided to give him a genuine answer.

 “They’d say you look like a thug and they’d ponder what your life in prison must have been like.” Axel was almost hysterical with laughter. Once he had gathered himself, wiping the tears that had leaked from his eyes, he responded.

 “At least they’re creative… Do I look that much like a thug?” Roxas nodded.

 “When I first met you I thought I got drunk and fucked a mafioso.” He disclosed, only earning more laughter from Axel. “I was really worried.” He defended. “I never drink so I didn’t know what I was capable of.”

 “Too bad all you did was have a slumber party with a paramedic.” Axel smiled widely.

 “I dunno…” Roxas drawled. “Having an IV jammed in your arm is pretty sexy.”

 “Kinky. I’d kiss you but you sort of need the oxygen.” Axel never missed a beat. Maybe that was why he was so fun to be around. He gave the mask strapped to Roxas' face a little flick.

 “Remember to kiss me when it’s off then.” The blond ordered, feeling his eyelids droop. He was suddenly extremely sleepy, most likely due to the blessed IV drip. “You’re not tense anymore.” He noted quietly.

 “Yeah well... You really worried me back there. I feel much better now that you can breathe.” The last thing Roxas was aware of feeling was the redhead fondly brushing the hair out of his face. He slept through the rest of the ride and much of his transfer from the ambulance to the Emergency Room.

He would have insisted on just going home, but his parents knew where he lived. At least in the ER he could have a little relief until they decided to kick him out. Any break from his parents, however short, was enough for him.

* * *

**AN: Holy cow my dudes we're moving at breakneck speed. Full speed ahead. Funny how this thing went from being on hiatus for five months to being updated almost weekly again. I say it's thanks to you guys for all the great comments and kudos!**


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: Thank you all so much for your incredible support and feedback. When I first started writing this fic almost a year ago I never dreamed anyone would actually read it. Also, I get the biggest kick out of your comments, thank you. They always make me smile.

When Roxas woke up he was no longer blissfully high, rather he was more confused than anything else. It took him a minute to remember what he would be in the emergency room for. The memories of the night prior hit him like a ton of bricks, leaving him breathless. In a windowless room under bright florescent lights he couldn’t tell what time it was. He could have been asleep for minutes or hours.

He rolled onto his side only to find Namine seated in a small chair beside him, picking nervously at a hangnail. He distinctly remembered telling a certain someone not to inform his sister of his little trip to the Emergency Room. Apparently he either didn’t listen, or did and just did it anyway.

Namine must have heard the bed shift, because her head immediately popped up. The minute she saw Roxas awake she burst into tears, throwing herself over him and trapping him in a crushing embrace. 

“Oh thank god…” She mumbled, wetting Roxas’ cheek with her tears. “I was so worried! You just disappeared.” She pulled back, wiping her eyes with the sleeve of her jacket.

 “How did you know I was here?” It was a question he was pretty sure he knew the answer to.

 “Axel texted me from your phone to tell me which hospital you were at. He also told me it was _your_ asshole idea not to tell me from the get go.” She sounded angry, but her face only showed relief. 

 “If you found out so would mom and dad.” He reached out and she immediately took his hand, gripping it tightly. 

 “I know…” She sighed. “I was just so worried. And then when I found out you didn’t just bail, you were taken to the _hospital_ …” She shook her head. “I about had a heart attack. Axel said it’s nothing serious?”

 “I’m fine, honest…” He frowned. “Wait… Did you talk to Axel?” Namine nodded. 

 “He was sitting with you when I got here. He tried to get me up to speed on everything that happened, but he lost me with the medical stuff so he made sure to have the nurses explain it all to me in plain english.” She released a long sigh of relief. “And here I thought the waiter dumped an entire pitcher of water onto mom because she was being a bitch.” Roxas cackled.

“I was wondering what happened. All I got to see was the aftermath.” It was downright unfair, the one time his mother received karmic justice and he had to miss it. “Where are they now?”

“They went home. I think they assumed you got mad and just left.” Roxas felt a sigh of his own escape. 

They were going to find out, and it seemed they’d be finding out sooner than later. He just had to make sure he was prepared to handle it.

“Was Axel kind enough to mention when I can leave?” He asked, eyes drawn to the multitude of machines he was hooked up to. 

“He said to ask the nurses and to make sure you fill out all your paperwork. I guess they wanted to rule out anything serious before letting you go.” Her eyebrows drew together in a puzzled frown. “He also said to tell you he’d visit once he was done with his shift.” 

“Okay… Thanks Nam.” He offered his sister a grateful smile. “I’m really glad you’re here. Sorry for worrying you over nothing.”

“No,  _ I’m _ sorry.” There was sorrow in her eyes. She tightened her grip on his hand. “I tried to make them stop but… You know mom and her damn opinions.” Roxas smiled, squeezing back.

“Don’t worry. I know you did. This isn’t the first time this has happened to me…” Though this was by far the longest and the worst. “You may have already noticed, but I have a tendency to freak out.” Namine released a wet sounding laugh, her eyes filling with tears again.

“Yeah, I know.” She sniffled, furiously wiping the tears away with the back of her hand. “You care too much about what people think. No matter what happens you’ll always have me, Sora, and Xion too.  _ We’re _ your family. You don’t need to keep hoping for approval you might never get when you’ve _ always  _ had ours.” Tears were still trailing down her cheeks, but her jaw was set in determination. 

“How mad do you think they would be if I just skipped town leaving nothing but a note that reads ‘I’m gay’?” Maybe the drugs hadn’t worn off completely, because he found this idea absolutely hilarious. 

“Probably furious. Hayner would be a real mess, without you who would plan his entire wedding for him?” Namine smirked. 

“True… I couldn’t leave everything to poor Olette. That would just be cruel.” Roxas snickered. Namine took a deep breath and released her brother’s hand. 

“You should go back to sleep. And…” She paused biting her lip. “Maybe you should call in sick tomorrow. They’ll understand.” With that Namine leaned in and placed a kiss on her brother’s forehead. “I was going to stay the night but… Getting a chance to talk to you made me feel better. I’ll be back tomorrow unless you tell me otherwise, okay?” 

“Okay, okay. Go home and get some sleep.” He shooed her to the door with his hands, earning him a smile as she departed. 

Every time he moved the bedding seemed to crinkle. Everything was so crisp and clean and white. Whatever tests they’d done, Roxas had gotten no news about them and there was no doubt there’d be nothing to find. 

He was hooked up to yet another IV which he discovered he had to be careful with due to the fact that he’d nearly accidentally yanked it out by tossing and turning too much. He was also hooked up to a monitor of some sort, and it felt strange.

He’d never been to the hospital before, not even as a kid. It was odd, being able to see what his heart was doing on a monitor with numbers he couldn’t understand. Were they good or bad? He no longer had an oxygen mask strapped to his face, which he took as a good sign. That probably meant he could actually breathe now.

Now that he wasn’t full of drugs he had the wherewithal to feel embarrassed. He had made quite the scene… 

But the things his mother had been saying had gotten to him more than they usually did. The idea that he wouldn’t be able to commit struck a chord in him. It made him truly afraid that perhaps his bigoted mother was actually right for once.

Because he  _ was _ having trouble committing, no matter how hard he tried there was the fear he would do something wrong. More than anything he wanted to be able to have a nice, normal relationship. There was a part of him that longed for the cheesy house with a white picket fence. 

He just wanted to have a nice life with someone, he wanted to stop worrying about what the right thing was. 

He was terrified, so terrified, of his mother’s words that loomed over him like some sort of witch’s curse. 

Closing his eyes, he tried to sleep again at least for a little while. He managed what could probably be considered sleep, but every once in awhile the sound of someone wheeling by his room or discussing something near his door would wake him up. The door and wall adjacent to him were almost clear, covered in a film that only allowed him to see silhouettes and shadows.  

It was like a puppet show, he could only guess what was going on outside. In his mind he would make up scenarios, as if he were watching some drama instead of regular people doing their jobs. In his head the nurse with shoulder length hair was having a lurid affair with the doctor with slicked back hair. The braided nurse was always busy, hurrying back and forth before his door. Braided nurse, he thought, took her job very seriously. 

No shenanigans for her. 

He entertained himself with this game for quite a while. He couldn’t clearly hear what anyone was  saying, so he made do with his imagination. He should have asked Namine to bring him a book or something. 

Eventually he was surprised to see the door slide open, the braided nurse briefly peering at the machines before gingerly taking a look at the bag of saline hanging above him. She had big green eyes framed by long dark lashes, and flowered patterned scrubs.She didn’t speak to him, just briefly meeting his eyes before leaving him alone again. Outside he could see the nurse conversing with someone just out of his line of sight. 

The next time the door slid open he was met with a very weary looking Axel. 

“Aerith said you were awake. Feeling better?” He sat down in the tiny chair with a plop. His eyes were rimmed with dark circles, and he looked like it was a miracle he was awake, let alone speaking.

“You look like hell.” Roxas commented. 

“Thanks.” The redhead replied sarcastically. “It’s almost 4AM. I’m a little tired.”

“Why come back here, then? You need sleep.” Roxas felt the tug of the IV restricting his arm movement.

“Nah, I can always sleep in my car.” Axel waved it off as if it were no big deal. “I wanted to see how you were feeling. I told the nurses you were prone to panic attacks but they all decided to poke and prod you anyway. They’ll probably let you leave come morning.” Roxas frowned. 

“Did you ever hear back from them?” Part of him was sure he had had a heart attack or something.

“No. Aerith told me they put you on a saline drip since you went and dehydrated yourself, but they never really got back to me on how all those tests turned out. If something were really wrong though they probably wouldn’t have left you here to sleep it off.” Axel tried to stifle a yawn, to no avail. Roxas sighed, scooting as far back as he could until he could feel the side rail on of the hospital bed pressing into his spine. 

“Come here. It won’t kill you to rest for just a minute. This must be at least a little more comfortable than your car. It definitely beats that chair.” He patted the empty space beside him.

“I’ll only squish you. That bed isn’t meant for two people you know.” The redhead informed him. Roxas responded with a tired scowl.

“I’m not made of glass, you’re not going to break me.” He reached out with the arm that didn’t have a IV stuck in it. “Just come here. I don’t have cooties.” Axel relented with a sigh, carefully crawling up to lie beside Roxas. Both were lying on their sides facing one another, nearly pressed together due to the restrictive size of the bed. Not that Roxas minded.

“You’re not going to ignore me anymore, are you?” He pinned the redhead with a suspicious glare. He snorted.

“I won’t ignore you if you won’t ignore me..” That was an acceptable answer. The blond knew he was also guilty of the silent treatment.

“And you’re not mad at me anymore?” Roxas wanted to be absolutely certain things were okay between them again. Not having Axel around to talk to was the worst.

“I was never mad at you. Like I said, I was just… Confused. Even though you were high as a kite, you made me feel better.” Reaching over, he untangled the IV line. “You need to stop twisting this up or it won’t work.” Roxas huffed, but stayed still enough to allow it.

“Why do I have to be hooked up to all this stuff anyway.” He grumbled. “I can’t move an inch without something tugging.” Axel rolled his eyes, draping an arm over Roxas’ waist.

“That’s because you’re not supposed to be moving.” He replied, as if it were obvious. “You’re spending the night in the Emergency Room, Rox. You aren’t on vacation.” The blond didn’t like feeling so restrained. He wiggled in his sleep, and his current setup wasn’t conducive to wiggling. 

“I still don’t like it.” He grumped. The only good part about being packed in the bed like sardines in a can seemed to be that he didn’t have to expend the energy normally necessary to scoot closer to the redhead. Burying his nose in Axel’s collarbone, he inhaled deeply and sighed. Axel laughed.

“Your nose is cold.” He commented, resting his chin on the top of Roxas’ head. They were pretty intimate for a couple that technically wasn’t a couple.

_ Yet _ . That could be subject to change.

Axel removed his hand in favor of combing long fingers through messy hair, and the blond found himself releasing a contented sigh at the familiar feeling. His list of things he’d missed about Axel was rapidly expanding.

“Was it just luck? You being the one to show up for me, that is…” Roxas blinked sleepily, leaning into the touch. He thought it was pretty convenient that out of all the EMTs in Twilight Town, Axel was the one who was called out to help him.

“Kind of. Demyx… He was your waiter, the skinny blond guy...” Roxas nodded. He remembered. Unbeknownst to the poor waiter, he had been the main source of contention between he and Namine and his parents that evening. “Well he’s been a friend of mine for a long time and whenever something happens he tends to skip the whole 911 song and dance and call me directly.” That made sense, it had certainly seemed like the two EMTs knew the waiter.

“He was really freaking out. He told me he there was a guy lying on the bathroom floor with food poisoning or something. He acted like you were near death so we kind of hurried.” He pressed his forehead against Roxas’, smiling affectionately.“Imagine my surprise when the guy dying in the bathroom was you all along. He’s been asking about you all night, by the way. It would probably be good to tell him you’re still alive yourself.” Roxas chuckled.

“Thank god my family was too busy fighting to notice the god damn paramedics arriving.” The blond rolled his eyes. “You probably could have wheeled me out on a stretcher right in front of them and they still wouldn’t have paid any attention.” He was still glad that wasn’t what happened, on the off chance his parents actually noticed their surroundings for once.

“You really scared the shit out of me, you know.” Axel’s face was suddenly serious. “You looked really bad.” 

“Gee thanks.” Roxas responded sardonically, sticking his lower lip out in a pout. The redhead laughed, pressing his lips to Roxas’ in a chaste kiss and subsequently kissing the pout away. This kiss was acceptable, but not quite what he’d had in mind on his way there. He made a note to put a pin in it for later.

“You were hyperventilating on the bathroom floor next to your own vomit. That doesn’t look good on anyone.” Well when he put it that way… 

“Geez. And after all that you still haven’t run for the hills?” It was partially a joke, but Roxas couldn’t imagine anyone seeing him like  _ that _ and still thinking he was still worth the trouble of pursuing.

“I’m not  _ that _ squeamish. Besides, it’s not really the first time I’ve seen you have a panic attack, that’s not exactly news to me. The throwing up, that was new, but that pretty much comes guaranteed with the job.” He pursed his lips in thought. “You not breathing, that wasn’t so great. I’d prefer for that not to happen again.” The blond huffed indignantly.

“Maybe if you weren’t  _ ignoring  _ me you could have talked me down before it got that far.” He was teasing. Well, mostly teasing.

“Hey, I got there eventually.” Axel replied defensively. Roxas scoffed.

“Eventually being right before I was about to pass out.” He pulled back enough for Axel to see his very weak glare.

“I’m sorry I don’t have the power to teleport.” The redhead retorted. Roxas was unable to hold his glare very long, cracking a little smile in spite of himself.

“Well learn. If my parents keep it up this won’t be a one time occurrence. Next time they start in on me I might just try and drown myself in the lobster tank or something.” Dramatic, maybe, but it wasn’t entirely out of the question.

“I’ll try, but please find something a little less detrimental to your body.” Axel gave the blond’s cheek a poke. “Lungs aren’t meant to be full of water and I’d really rather you not die.” Roxas brought his hand up to cup the redhead’s cheek.

“Alright, I’ll pick something a little less deadly.” He promised. “Maybe I’ll just stab myself with a fork or something.” Though if his parents knew he was in bed with another man maybe they’d be the one’s doing the stabbing… 

Not that he and Axel had ever even  _ technically _ slept with each other, not in the biblical sense anyway. They’d never really gone past heavy petting.

If he was ever planning on going that far he’d have to do it before his parents made him become a missionary and flew him off to Peru or something.

“A puncture wound is easier to fix than a drowning so… I’ll accept that.” Axel looked absolutely exhausted. He offered a sleepy smile as Roxas traced the dark circles under his eyes with his thumb. 

“Glad that’s settled, then… Now go to sleep.” He ordered softly. “I have to get up in a few hours to call in sick so no excuses, we’re using the time we have to power nap.”

“Damn… Guess I can’t really argue with that.” Axel buried his face in Roxas’ hair. It didn’t really sound like he wanted to put up a fight anyway. “Only for a little while though.” Roxas felt him mumble. Closing his eyes, he savored the warm embrace. It wasn’t very hard at all to fall asleep like this, in fact he must have dozed off in record time. Soon neither he nor Axel were awake enough to notice the nurses quietly slipping in and out, checking monitors and replacing saline bags. 

Sure enough Roxas was rudely awoken sometime around 8 AM by the incessant buzzing of his phone alarm. He rubbed the sand out of his eyes and fumbled around for his cell phone so he could make the vibrating stop.

Looking to his side he could see that Axel was out cold, Roxas’ alarm apparently not enough to rouse him. He scrolled through his contacts until he found the number for the firm he was interning at. Aqua was busy, but the receptionist promised to give her the message. He was sort of glad he wasn’t able to tell Aqua herself. He’d probably end up feeling guilty.

Roxas could see that the emergency room was much more busy now, with a greater number of staff hurrying past his room. He figured it was probably about time he left so some other unfortunate person could have his bed.

He reached over and gave Axel’s shoulder a gentle shake. The redhead grunted, bringing a hand up to rub his eyes. 

 “Mornin’...” He mumbled, his voice hoarse and thick with sleep.

 Well shit. That was cute.

 “Morning.” He couldn’t help the tender smile that crept onto his face. “Have a nice nap?” Axel merely nodded, trying to stifle a huge yawn and failing miserably. 

 “You call in sick already?” He sat up a bit, propping himself up on his elbow. Roxas nodded.

 “Do you think you could bring me my paperwork? I’m kind of tied up at the moment.” He motioned to the multitude of tubes and cords he was currently tangled up in. “Unless you want to be extra nice and get these off me.

 “And have the nurses kill me for touchin’ their stuff?” The redhead shook his head. “Not a chance. I can, however, get your release form for you.” The redhead was careful to disentangle himself from Roxas as gently as possible. He sat up, tugging the rumpled blankets back into place. He watched Axel smooth out his clothing and finger comb his hair, a fuzzy feeling welling up and settling in his heart..

 He could recall the hazy memories of the previous night, and he realized that before then he had never really truly talked things through with Axel. He supposed that was just like them, though, to have their first heart to heart on the way to the Emergency Room.

 Their relationship was unconventional from the very beginning and it didn’t seem like it was about to start being conventional any time soon. It definitely wasn’t the kind of relationship Roxas was used to, but perhaps that was why he cherished it so much..

 Now that the air was clear and they had both been able to actually voice their thoughts for once, he felt lighter. He was still flying blind, but he was less blind than before at least. Happiness didn’t feel like some far off, unattainable thing anymore. Now that he thought about it, it hadn’t felt that way for a while.

 After all, he could safely say he felt happy now.

 The feeling lingered even as he watched the redhead leave. He would have to think of a decent way to repay the man for going so out of his way.

 “What kind of place are you people running here?” Roxas stiffened at the sound of the shrill voice. This was the absolute last thing he wanted. He was hoping to quietly slip out with no one the wiser. “Our son was admitted here and you're telling me we can't see him?” 

 How did his parents know he was here? From what Namine had told him it didn’t sound like they even knew he was sick.

 “Axel-” He felt himself call out for the redhead out of habit, but Axel had left. Oh god, there was no way he could subject Axel to his parents. The poor guy had barely gotten any sleep. He was in no condition for this.

 Really, neither was Roxas.

 Every footstep that passed his room filled him with dread. He could feel anxiety bubbling in his stomach, and he was afraid he might throw up again.

 “I’m sorry, m’am, he already has a visitor right now.” The voices were getting closer. “We only allow one visitor at a time. Perhaps you can wait-” The poor, soft spoken woman was clearly trying her very best.

 “We are his _parents._ I should be allowed to see my own son.” It was his mother again, snapping at any unfortunate staff member who tried to keep her at bay.

 “I’m sorry, I can’t let you in. It’s against hospital policy… Perhaps you can wait in the waiting room.” The soft voice suggested. It sounded like she was attempting to lead his parents away, but they were fighting a losing battle. They didn’t know Roxas’ mother. That woman always got her way, she made sure of it.

 Looking to his side he could see a little palm sized buzzer. It seemed pretty useless considering every nurse available had probably had to deal with his parents one way or another. Still, it was an option. He still held onto the vague hope that someone had the authority to make them leave.

 When the door slid open, both his father and mother flooded in, filling much of the space in the tiny room. He struggled to look behind them, but he couldn’t get a glimpse of Axel. 

 “Oh, Roxas.” His mother leaned down to gather the blond in a bone shattering embrace. He could feel the IV viciously being yanked.

 “Hi mom.” His voice came out in a squeak. 

 “Oh I was so worried.” His mother began. “Last night I _knew_ something was wrong. Your father just thought you were being moody but I _knew_ something had to be going on.” Roxas smiled weakly.

 “Yeah uh… Y’know…” He couldn’t think of what to say. He felt frozen, paralyzed with no way of escape. He felt like he was going to throw up. “So uh… How did you know I was here?”

 “I was at your sister’s, we were going to go shopping today.” She explained, as if that had anything to do with the current situation. “I saw on her phone you had texted her, and all you sent was the address to the hospital! I can’t believe you told your sister you were ill and not us.” He wasn’t completely surprised his mother would go through his sister’s phone, but he felt his veins turned to ice. He tried to remember if he’d sent Namine any incriminating texts… The woman’s brows drew together in a disappointed scowl. She looked around the room, her stern look melting into one of confusion.

 “Strange… That nurse said you already had a visitor....” Roxas felt a lump form in his throat. He did. Where that visitor went or why he was taking so long was a mystery.

 “Uh… Maybe Nami just forgot to sign out.” He lied.   
  
“The boy’s in the hospital. Go easy on him.” His father countered. Either he held no suspicion at all, or just wanted to keep peace today.

 “What happened, dear? No one in this awful place will tell us!” Her face was wrought with worry as she struggled to smooth down Roxas’ hair.

“Ah- Um…” Shit. He didn’t know what to say. He was going to lie, wasn’t he? But what  _ was _ his lie? He continued hemming and hawing in a vain attempt to stall for time. When the door slid open yet again, all heads were turned and all eyes were glued to it. 

 Axel blinked, clearly not expecting for Roxas to have company. The look on his face must have said it all, however, because confusion gradually faded into understanding.

 “Excuse me. I don’t believe we’ve met.” Sharp blue eyes seemed to size the redhead up as if he were an opponent. 

 “That’s... The doctor.” Roxas blurted out. 

 “What kind of self respecting doctor has hair like _that?”_ Her lip curled in distaste, apparently not buying the story at all.

 “Right…” Axel nodded, mostly for Roxas’ sake. He’d gotten the hint. “Let me just… Check in with my nurse.” He could hear the redhead shout Aerith’s name in desperation. The conversation held right outside his room was held in hushed whispers.  

 “Doesn’t seem very organized.” Roxas’ father noted. 

 “It’s probably hard to be perfectly organized when the ER is this full.” The blond smiled nervously. 

 “You and your sister are always playing the devil’s advocate.” His mother was not pleased.

 When Axel returned he did more than pop his head in. He bravely entered the room and fearlessly pushed by his parents to stand in the corner of the room. Roxas surmised that it was Aerith who provided the stethoscope shoved in his pocket and the clipboard in his hands.  


“I’m sorry. Morning rush.” He flipped through a chart that was most likely completely empty. “I take it you’re Roxas’ family?” Axel smiled his most charming smile. Damn him and his handsome smiles. Damn him and the fact that he looked sexy in his uniform. Damn him for making his mind wander when his parents were present. Thankfully it seemed he was completely and utterly immune to the icy glare the blond’s mother was giving him.

“Why did it take so long for your idiot staff to let us see our son.” She snapped, her voice dripping with venom. The redhead raised a thin brow, but thankfully didn’t flinch or cower.

 “Mom!” He admonished.

 “I believe the ‘idiot staff’ was just trying to follow protocol. Only one visitor is allowed at a time to prevent overcrowding. It’s a small facility.” His tone was pleasant, but by the look on his face he clearly wasn’t pleased with the way the woman was talking about the ER staff. “So Roxas, you’re looking remarkably well considering your… Appendix.” It sounded like the first organ he could think of, and Roxas wished he could smack him. Appendix? Really?

 “Appendix?” Roxas’ mother sounded both shocked and alarmed.

 “Uh… Yeah. Sharp, stabbing pain. I tried to ignore it but it was too… Severe.” His explanation sounded incredibly phony, but it had his parents hook line and sinker. The woman’s hair fixing soon turned to hair petting. Behind her Axel was quickly jotting something down on the pad of paper clipped to the clipboard.

“Honey if you were in that much pain you should have told us!” She pulled back from her smothering to give him a stern look. 

 “Uh… Yeah well, you know. Dinner was going so well and all, why interrupt it?” He bit his lip.

 Appendicitis.

 His parents thought he had appendicitis. 

 “How did you get here? I hope you didn’t drive in that condition.” It sounded more like his father was worried about safe driving than Roxas’ apparent appendix issues.

 “I uh… Called 911. Took an ambulance.” It was partially true. His mother’s gaze fell on Axel again.

 “You.” She barked. “You’re the overseeing physician?” Before he could answer she snidely commented. “You’d think the doctors here wouldn’t look so unprofessional .” Axel almost looked like he wanted to laugh. She just wouldn’t let the hair go

 “Yeah, not the most conventional look, but it gets me by.” He replied with a devil may care smile. “These darn unprofessional genes of mine, keeping me from my true potential.” He shook his head in mock disappointment. Roxas couldn’t hold back the short laugh that bubbled past his lips. His mother, on the other hand, was less than amused. 

 “Young people these days are so disrespectful.” She lamented.

 “You insulted him first, mom.” Roxas reminded her in a bland tone.

 “ _Anyway_ , it looks like there will be no long term complications, you sure were lucky to get medical attention when you did.” Axel gave a wink, to which the blond responded with the most bemused expression he could muster. 

 “Yep. Sure am. What would I have done had the paramedics not come and spent more time _talking_ than helping.” This of all things did make Axel break character, causing him to release an audible snort. This earned him a withering glare from Roxas’ mother. His father almost looked bored.

 “I don’t like that doctor.” She informed him as if Axel weren’t actually in the room. “He’s a smart alek.”

 “You don’t like anyone, mom.” The blond replied, already looking haggard.

 “Will you have to take a leave of absence from work and school?” It seemed like his mother thought that would be worse than his appendix bursting.

 “Bed rest would be advised” Axel piped up. “People don’t bounce back from appendicitis the very next day.” Now he was just poking the bear. He was doing this on purpose. He knew Roxas’ mom didn’t like him.

 Granted she wasn’t making a secret of it. She had even said as much aloud.

 “Don’t worry about it, I already called. It’s fine.” This was mostly true. He called about something. Roxas’ parents both looked wary. 

 “All of his information is on his chart, if you’d like to look.” The redhead offered the clipboard he’d previously been scribbling on. Roxas sent him a panicked look and in return he received another conspicuous wink. 

 Both of his parents read the chart in silence.. 

 “Perhaps a few days of rest wouldn’t hurt.” His father relented. “He works hard, he’ll be back in no time.” The two seemed to agree on this. His parents rarely agreed on anything.

 “You know, I’m sure that scene your sister made last night was the last straw.” His mother suggested scandalously. “She’s always so stubborn.” 

 “I don’t know… I think it’s brave, sticking up for the little guy every once in awhile.” The blond regretted his words immediately. His mother looked as if she had been personally offended by the statement.

 “You and I both know she was out of line, last night. I swear, the two of you are always against me.” Roxas sighed

 “Mom you can’t expect us to always agree with what you say. We’re both adults, we have our own opinions-” She acted as if she were being actively victimized.

 “All you ever do is argue with your father and I. I am your _mother_ ….” 

 “I know you are, but sometimes people disagree with each other.” He was digging his own grave and he knew it. “Namine wasn’t the issue.” The woman blinked long eyelashes in surprise. Her sweet docile son was finally rebelling. She opened her mouth to reply, but was interrupted by the sound of Axel loudly and obnoxiously clearing his throat. This gave Roxas the opening to end it before it got any worse.

 “You know, I’m getting a little sleepy…” He lied, yet again, his tone gone flat. He didn’t feel like doing this, not now. Not plugged into machines and tubes and unable to escape. **“** Maybe you should come back later.” Roxas’ mother didn’t look very convinced, but his father nodded. He most likely hadn’t wanted to come in the first place, and he was probably not too pleased that this was turning into another fight.

 “I’ll show you out, we can discuss… Recovery.” Again Axel seemed unsure what to say, but his mother seemed too steamed to notice the stumble.

 “We’ll be back later. Darling, please.” His father gave his wife a pleading look. “We’ll talk to the doctor before we leave if it makes you feel better.” The woman frowned, but followed her husband to the door.

 He could hear her all the way out, though not clearly. 

 After a moment of blessed silence he heard a quiet conversion transpiring right outside of his room. He had no way of knowing what they were saying. It was only shadows whispering amongst themselves.  
  
When the door opened again, it was Axel looking as if he’d just had ten years taken off his life.

 “First of all holy shit.” He began, which made Roxas laugh in spite of himself. The redhead looked flustered and frazzled.

 “I see you really did get a PHD while I was speaking with my parents.” Roxas gestured to the stethoscope sticking out of his shirt pocket. 

 “Ha ha. I borrowed it so I’d look like I actually worked here. _You_ were the one who decided I was a doctor.” He explained. “No one was using it and I’ll give it back.” The blond snorted.

 “So appendicitis, huh?” He found the way Axel was suspiciously eyeing the door entertaining. As if at any moment he expected his mother to reappear and wreak havoc.

 “Appendicitis was the first thing I could think of. I forged your chart to make it look like you actually had it. I think you’d appreciate how grave I made it sound.” He smirked, apparently proud of his work. “Your real diagnosis has already been recorded in the computer. Courtesy of Aerith.” He sat down in the tiny chair beside the bed, eyes still pinned to the door. “So that mother of yours is a real delight.” He commented dryly.

 “Nice deductive skills.” Roxas commented. “Is that why you took pity on me and made it look like I had a life threatening condition when in reality I just threw up my dinner and hyperventilated for a bit?”

 “I’d say you were a little worse off than that but yes, that’s why I made it seem so dire. She seemed like the kind of person who would accept dire and nothing less.” The redhead answered, leaning as far back in the little chair as he could.

 “You’re right about that. Thank you for making it look like I was about to die.” Roxas leaned back against the plush pillow, still trying to process all of what had just happened. 

 “Did they say anything to you when you kicked them out?” It looked like something had transpired.

 “Your mom accused me of being a fraud, said she’d get my licence revoked, and threatened to report me to my boss.” The redhead was in good spirits, but it looked as if the ordeal drained him. Roxas frowned.

 “I’m sorry. I knew she’d be like that… I really didn’t want you to have to be in the middle.” He reached out, beckoning the redhead to come closer. He obliged, moving to sit cross legged on the edge of the bed. 

 “I’m pretty used to people insulting my hair. It’s really fine, I don’t usually take things like that to heart.” He assured him. 

 “I thought for sure they would go for the tattoos first.” Roxas mused. Axel chuckled.

 “When we were on our way here you said they’d think I was a mobster because _you_ used to think so.”

 “Only for a little while.” The blond replied defensively. “I’d never seen anyone with tattoos like that, I can’t help that I’m sheltered. And that hair of yours can’t be natural.”

 “It is so. I can prove it and everything.” Upon seeing the blond’s face go beet red he quickly added. “I meant because it runs in the family, I didn’t mean…” Roxas just groaned and hid his face in his hands. Today had been too much and it wasn’t even noon yet. 

 He heard the crisp sheets rustle, and felt himself be enveloped in a soothing embrace. He could feel Axel resting his chin against his hair. He was too stupidly tall. “I didn’t mean it like that, I swear. It was a good innuendo, and I wish I was the one who thought of it first, but it was completely unintended.”

 “Do you accidentally flirt with everyone or am I just special?” Roxas mumbled, hands still covering his burning face.

 “I’m pretty sure it’s just you.” The redhead answered easily. “I can safely say you’re the only one I flirt with on purpose, but you probably already picked that up.” Roxas sighed. He had indeed picked that up. 

 “You know that peck on the lips earlier isn’t going to cut it.” He remarked.

 “I’m sorry, did you have something else in mind.” Roxas could practically feel the impish smile on the redhead’s face.   


“I asked you to remember to kiss me once that clunky mask was was off.” He clarified. “I expect a real kiss.”

 “Ah, that’s right.” Axel pressed his lips to the crown of Roxas’ head. “I’m surprised you even remember. Didn’t know you were such a stickler when it came to kisses.” Roxas could feel a warm hand, tipping his chin up. Surging his body upward, the blond closed the distance between them, humming contentedly into the kiss.

 It felt like second nature, the give and take of nipping softly at Axel’s lower lip and opening his mouth to accept the redhead’s exploring tongue. Lather, rinse, repeat. He relished these warm, open mouthed kisses, winding his arms around the taller man’s neck. He could feel the resisting pull of the IV in his arm, but he didn’t really care. He was so happy he felt like he could burst.

 The redhead suddenly pulled back, lips wet with saliva and swollen from kissing. All of his attention had suddenly gone to the beeping machines behind him. After deciphering whatever these machines had to say, he let out a little laugh, causing the blond to frown.  

 “What is it? What’s so funny?” His face felt hot and tingly. 

 “Your heart rate spiked like crazy.” The redhead explained. He pressed his hand to Roxas’ chest, his eyes sparkling with amusement. He could feel his heart pounding under the man’s splayed fingers. “I was just laughing because if it went up any more you’d probably get a nurse rushing in here to find out why.” Roxas groaned, burying his face in the crook of Axel’s neck. That would be humiliating. 

 “When am I allowed to get these stupid tubes and wires off?” He complained. “It’s been great, but I’m sick of the ER now.” Axel snorted, reaching over Roxas to tap the buzzer. “I didn’t have time to get your release form, what with your parents coming and all, but Aerith’ll get it to you.” There was a brief knock, and the braided nurse entered.

 “Axel, please move.” She asked kindly. “I can’t reach the patient with you like that.” She didn’t seem very surprised to see the redhead mauling her poor patient. The lanky man moved away, sitting back in the uncomfortable chair so Aerith could actually reach Roxas. 

 “Can I have these… Off?” He gestured to the wires and machinery. The nurse smiled kindly.

“Of course. I still have a form for you to sign before you can leave. I’m sure Axel already told you...” She explained, gently removing the IV line and bandaging Roxas’ arm. “Axel, you can make yourself useful and go grab his release form from Yuna.” She flipped off the machines and gently began removing the wires that were taped to various parts of his torso.

 “If you don’t mind me asking, how do you know Axel? Since he doesn’t work here and all.” Roxas felt embarrassed asking, but the nurse didn’t seem to mind the question.

 “He has a habit of coming back to check on the people he drops off.” The pretty brunette smiled. “He’s nice to the staff and follows our rules, so we don’t mind letting him drink our coffee and loiter.” She gently rubbed a particularly red spot before grabbing Roxas’ clothes for him, folded neatly on the counter. 

 “He was such a mess when he brought you in, we expected a terrible accident or something. Needless to say he overreacted a bit.” She giggled, shaking her head and dislodging the hair she’d tucked behind her ear. “None of us knew he had a boyfriend. We all gave him a break once the two of you got here. It’s not easy when the patient is someone you love.” It sounded more like she was thinking out loud than anything else, but he still felt like crawling in a hole and hiding forever. 

 It was an honest assumption, but it was strange hearing it all the same. Regardless of how embarrassing it kind of was, it was also kind of… Sweet. It was hard to imagine Axel overreacting to anything when it came to his job, let alone overreacting over him. He could tell that he’d worried the man, Axel had told him that much and a certain amount of it he could see. Still, the way Aerith described it…

 God damn it, it was endearing.

 “Hey Aerith, is this the right one?” Axel returned victorious, waving a piece of paper above his head.

 “I don’t know Axel, does it say ‘release form’ on it?” She rolled her eyes as she removed the sterile gloves she’d been wearing, disposing of them in the garbage bin.

 “Sheesh. No need for the attitude.” He made a face at the pretty brunette, who left with a flip of her long hair and musical laughter. “Here, just sign this and you’re on your way.” The redhead offered the form to Roxas.

 “Thanks.” Taking the form, he signed it and folded it in half, setting it on top of the pile of clothes in his lap. “I think I’m developing a kink for medical professionals..” He casually remarked. He could just hear his friends now. _‘Yeah right, like_ Roxas _would have a fetish.”_

 “Oh?” Axel made himself comfortable on the edge of the bed again, raising a curious brow. “And when did you realize that?” Roxas placed his clothing and paperwork on his pillow and crawled over to the redhead, straddling his lap and pulling him closer by the collar of his shirt. He was thrilled he could actually move now.

 “On the way here, when you were taking such good care of me..” He curled a stray piece of hair around his finger. “But I suppose I really realized it when you came in to lie to my parents.” He leaned in to give Axel’s lower lip a nip. “You have some god awful timing.” He could feel Axel smiling into their kiss.

 “Please don’t make a habit of this just because you have a fetish for doctors.” Gentle hands slipped under Roxas’ paper thin hospital gown, rubbing gentle circles on his hip bones. He felt his breath hitch at the feeling. 

 “I think it’s more a fetish for _you_. You look damn good in a uniform, you know.” He wasn’t sure why he was being so honest. It seemed he wasn’t quite over his word vomit. That made Axel chuckle. 

“You can see me in uniform any time.” He dipped his head down to claim Roxas’ lips again for another invasive kiss. The blond felt a shiver run down his spine, and found himself gasping for air. He broke the kiss and pulled back, arms draped loosely around  Axel’s neck. There was an almost confused look in those green, green eyes.

“I have a favor to ask.” He murmured, toying with long red locks. “Would you mind taking me home with you? My family sort of knows where I live.” He smiled sheepishly. “As funny as it would be for my parents to barge in on something like this, I’d rather it be just the two of us. No interruptions.”

He needed to be where no one could find them; not Hayner, not his sister, not his parents… No one. And… If he were being honest, he wanted to be with Axel. If he was being really, really honest, he sort of wanted it to be in the biblical sense.

The long fingers that were tracing his ribcage stopped. Axel leaned back enough to read Roxas’ expression, as if he expected there to be something there signifying resistance of some sort. When he found none, his face lit up with a wide, wonderful smile.

“I think I can manage that.”

* * *

**AN: I know exactly how evil I am to stop there. I’m mad with power. This one goes out to my sister. Between the two of us we have about five ER visits, resulting in my amazing knowledge of Emergency Rooms.**


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late update. A lot of not so good things decided to happen all at once. Anyway, I feel like I don’t really need to warn you guys at this point. You all know what’s gonna go down.

**** There wasn’t much conversation on the way to Axel’s apartment, largely due to the fact that the redhead had kindly called his friend, the waiter who had been worried enough to call Axel the night prior, to update him on Roxas’ condition. 

The waiter, Demyx, was quite the chatterbox. 

“I totally thought you were a goner!” He exclaimed. “Like… I totally thought you were having a heart attack.” 

“It felt like one.” Roxas laughed. Demyx’s energy was contagious. “Thanks for saving me. Oh, and for dousing my mother.” He could hear Demyx snicker.

“Pleasure was all mine, dude.” The phone call ended once they pulled up to an older looking building of dark brown brick. Roxas was grateful he was able to thank the guy. He seemed like someone who would be easy to make friends with. Roxas didn’t know how someone could be so animated, even over the phone. Demyx promised to comp him a free meal and Roxas promised not to bring his horrid mother.

He was more than a little mad that his experience with Axel’s friends had been overwhelmingly positive, for the most part, while Axel had had to deal with a grouchy, jealous Hayner and an overprotective Namine.

The redhead was in good spirits, however, so he tried not to dwell on it too much. It was water under the bridge now. He followed Axel up the staircase to his second floor apartment, examining the scuffed door while the redhead dug his keys from his pocket.

The inside of Axel’s apartment was just as unique and quaint as the outside. It was small, with a tiny kitchenette connected to the main room. The furniture was by no means fancy, but it looked cozy enough. Everything in the apartment looked like it was put to use. It made Roxas’ apartment look like an Ikea showroom. 

“Make yourself at home.” Axel tossed his keys into a ceramic bowl on the counter. “I don’t have the fanciest TV in the world, but I do have pretty much every channel known to man.” He grinned crookedly.

“Thanks for the offer but I’ll pass for now.” Roxas pulled the redhead down by the collar of his shirt to give him a brief but satisfying kiss. “As enticing as vegging out in front of your TV sounds, I don’t think I have it in me to actually focus that hard.” This made Axel laugh.

“I suppose after what you’ve been through being able to focus would be a tall order.” He conceded. “Let me call the diner real quick. They’re going to expect me pretty soon and I don’t want to leave you here all alone.” Roxas rolled his eyes, keeping him in place with a tight grip on his shirt collar.

“I’m perfectly fine, Axel. You don’t have to baby me; you said it yourself, you’ve seen me have panic attacks before.” The redhead frowned.

“Yeah but none of those required medical intervention.” His fingers twitched at his sides. “I would feel a lot better if I stayed with you today.” 

That was almost enough to make Roxas cave. He could remember what the nurse, Aerith, had told him about how Axel behaved when he was admitted to the ER. It had been hard for him to imagine, at the time, but the look on his face now left no doubt in his mind. That dorky giant was really an adorable mush. He took the redhead’s hands in his, giving them a squeeze. 

“I’d count you as medical intervention. I’m okay now, really.” He offered a reassuring smile. “I’ll be all hunkered down here, safe and sound until you get back. I won’t freak out, I promise.” Axel looked conflicted.

“You can’t guarantee that.” That much was true. He couldn’t exactly control it.

“How about a compromise then.” Roxas offered. “If something happens I’ll call you, okay?” The redhead still didn’t look entirely convinced, but he relented nonetheless.

“Fine. But don’t start second guessing shit, all right?” His tone was stern. “I’d be perfectly happy to leave work so don’t start worrying about putting me out or anything.”

Damn. Maybe he knew Roxas a little too well.

“Why would I worry? Your family loves me. I’m the perfect excuse for you to leave.” He offered the redhead a cheesy grin, causing his expression to soften. He pressed his lips to Roxas’ temple and the blond leaned into the touch. It was so tender, so genuine, it caused a lump to form in his throat that try as he might he just couldn’t swallow. Axel pulled back with a smile.

“Okay, fine. You hold up the fort while I’m gone.” With another kiss, this time a peck on Roxas’ cheek, he retreated to what Roxas assumed must be his bedroom to get changed. The blond settled on the couch, trying to ignore the pounding of his heart. Were they kissing more lately? It seemed like they’d been kissing more.

When Axel returned he was dressed somewhat normally, wearing a black shirt with some silly logo on it and a pair of jeans. His hair was pulled back, choking the hair tie that was struggling to keep it in place. 

“I’ll be back this afternoon.” He informed Roxas, pocketing his wallet and keys. “And don’t even  _ think _ about talking me into going to work tonight.” Roxas nodded, a bit mesmerized by how all that hair was being held back with only one rubber band. 

Once he was alone, he took the liberty of exploring Axel’s apartment. The bathroom floor was littered with empty shampoo bottles and hair spray cans, a worn towel bunched up on the floor right next to a hamper where it could have easily been properly disposed of. There was a cubby of shelves full of of fluffy, clean towels, some of which looked like they had been housewarming gifts that had never been used. The mirror was slightly smudged, but much to Roxas’ chagrin, it did its’ job. 

He stared at his reflection in utter horror. His hair was sticking up in every direction, and his eyes were red rimmed with dark circles forming underneath. His cheeks were still slightly reddened, and there were big dark bruises on both of his arms from the two separate IV drips he’d received. 

Apparently the ER nurses were nice enough to leave his one already battered arm alone in favor of using his other, much less bruised elbow. Except now both elbows were sporting green and purple bruises.

He looked like a complete wreck. After all the fuss he’d made to look decent for his parents before, now he looked like a greasy, tired zombie.

This was the opposite of how he wanted to look, considering his decided endgame of seducing Axel. Not that he knew how to seduce in the first place. 

Regardless, he wouldn’t be seducing anyone like this. Turning the knob on the sink, he splashed his face with cold water and struggled to tame his hair. This worked somewhat, but he still wasn’t at his best. Not to mention he felt achy and sluggish and even if he  _ could _ entice the redhead looking like he did, he wasn’t sure he’d be able to handle much more than that. 

Roxas didn’t usually go traipsing about other people's’ houses, but Axel  _ did _ tell him to make himself at home. And if he were at his own home, he would be taking a scalding hot shower right about now.

The only problem was that he didn’t have a change of clothes on hand. He almost regretted not stopping by his apartment first to grab some necessities, but then there was the possibility of his parents ambushing him… That thought alone was enough to make him feel brave enough to creep into Axel’s room in search of anything at all that he could wear instead of the sweat stained clothing he’d been wearing the night before and was subsequently wearing at the moment.

The redhead probably wouldn’t mind. He could wash it and give it back when he was done.

Axel’s room was a lot cleaner than he’d expected, considering the state of the bathroom. There was a wide window framed by dark curtains, and a big bed with rumpled bedding. A lamp sat on a rickety looking bedside table, the dark wood chipped and scratched, and there was a dresser of a similar color with various clothing items hanging out of the drawers.

Roxas felt a little guilty for going through the redhead’s things, but he told himself he wasn’t being nosy if he was actually looking for something. And there was nothing wrong with  _ borrowing _ . They’d been friends for long enough that borrowing some clothes and a shower wouldn’t be weird.

He managed to find an oversized shirt that he’d probably end up swimming in, and a pair of shorts that definitely wouldn’t be short on him. Whatever symbol was on the front of the shirt had all but cracked and chipped away through years of wearing and washing. Perhaps it was for a band or a movie… At this point it was hard to tell. 

Satisfied with his temporary accoutrements, he returned to the tiny bathroom to see if he could figure out how to work the shower. Luckily for him it wasn’t much different from his own. Unluckily for him, it took a while for the water to heat up. He was initially frozen in shock, huddled under the spray of ice cold water. Eventually his tensed muscles relaxed when the water got past being just barely lukewarm to what he deemed a suitable temperature. 

A boiling hot shower was exactly what he needed, apparently, as he almost fell asleep standing up. He fumbled for the shampoo, tipped over and dripping down the shower wall, and washed his hair as quickly and thoroughly as possible. He figured it probably wouldn’t be good if he fell asleep in Axel’s shower and subsequently caught pneumonia. 

Turning off the stream of wonderfully warm water, the blond quickly bundled himself in a towel that looked like it had never been touched and looked at his reflection in the fogged up mirror. He still had dark circles under his eyes, but looked much less like a zombie now that his skin was flushed a rosy pink from the steaming hot shower. 

Satisfied that he looked a little better, he groped around the floor for his, or rather, Axel’s clothes. It came as no surprise that Axel’s shirt nearly came down to his knees, but regardless of the size it was soft and clean and that was all Roxas’ tired brain really cared about at the moment. He dried his hair as best he could and tossed the towel in the hamper before returning to the living room and curling up on the couch.

He felt much better now that he smelled like Axel’s shampoo instead of sweat. The shower had made him too sleepy to stress over the dozens of text messages he’d received while away from his phone. Apparently his parents had just discovered his departure from the hospital, because he had stream ‘where are you?’ messages. One even cryptically read ‘We need to talk.’

He’d probably freak out about that when he was awake enough to really process it.

He could think of a few explanations that would have steam coming out of their ears. Well, his mother’s at least. His father was less easy to anger, usually taking the ‘I’m not mad, just disappointed’ route. 

_ ‘I’m with my kind-of boyfriend for one last night of steamy homosexual sin before you start trying to un-gay me.’  _ He snickered at the thought, tossing his phone aside.

If they disowned him he could always just seamlessly blend into Axel’s family. The redhead’s mother was already trying to feed him for free at this point. 

Eventually after much staring blankly into space he fell into a dreamless sleep, out cold and drooling on a fluffy throw pillow.

He wasn’t sure how many hours later he woke up, startled by the slam of the front door with his cheek covered in drool. He could see Axel in the doorway with an armful of what looked like takeout boxes. His hair had apparently refused to stay up throughout the day, as it was down again and wild as ever. The poor hair tie never stood a chance.

“Didn’t mean to wake you.” The redhead smiled sheepishly. “When mom found out you weren’t feeling well she baked you a damn pie. Crazy woman.” He chuckled, shaking his head. “She also sent me home with your usual, grilled cheese and french fries, for whenever you get hungry.” He placed the boxes on the kitchen counter before joining Roxas in the living room. The blond frantically sat upright to make room for Axel, wiping the smear of drool from his face. The redhead blinked in surprise.

“See you went and gave yourself a makeover while I was gone.” He commented with a wry smile. Roxas felt himself flush.

“I was sweaty and gross and I didn’t have any clothes so… I borrowed yours.” He replied defensively. 

“Relax, will you? I wasn’t making fun of you or anything.” Axel rolled his eyes, seating himself beside Roxas on the sofa. “For your information, I like that look.” 

The blond felt as if the wind had been knocked out of him.

“You do?” He was a little peeved at how eager he sounded. ‘ _ Desperate, much? _ ’ Axel laughed.

“Duh. It does help that those are my clothes.” He took a seat beside Roxas on the sofa, tangling his fingers in soft blond locks. This was fine with Roxas, who found himself tipping to the side to  rest his head on Axel’s shoulder. He could feel a certain amount of affection welling up inside him that made his throat feel tight.

“What time are you supposed to work tonight?” He focused on the feeling of gentle fingers combing through his hair.

“I got night shift again so… Nine.” The redhead didn’t sound too worried about it. “I already called in sick. No big deal.” Roxas sighed, turning to face Axel.

“Are you sure it’s okay?” He shifted so that he was sitting on his knees. “Not going to work and all…” He felt a little guilty that he had been so high maintenance lately. 

“Stop worrying so much. I haven’t taken the day off in forever.” He removed his hand from the blond’s hair to softly cup his cheek. “Besides, what kind of host would I be if I left you all alone?” Roxas rolled his eyes, draping his arms over the redhead’s shoulders.

“I’m a big boy. You don’t need to babysit me.” Axel looked as if he were about to protest, but Roxas silenced him with a kiss. This was a superb way of shutting the man up, as well as just being thoroughly enjoyable in general.

Axel sighed into the kiss, and even something as small as that sigh made Roxas’ stomach flip flop. He pushed forward, kissing the redhead with such bruising force that he knocked the man backwards. He could feel Axel wrap his arms loosely around his waist and took this as incentive to deepen the kiss. 

It was slow and sensual, tongues teasing and exploring. Axel tasted like the little candy mints they gave away at the diner. Roxas basked in the feeling of their tongues tangling, of their breath mingling, of Axel’s hand creeping up underneath his shirt. 

He was absolutely surrounded by the man’s scent, one that clung to his furniture and clothes, one that filled the entire apartment but was ten times stronger now that he fit snugly in the redhead’s gentle embrace. The surge of emotion it elicited was dizzying. He released a small hum of pleasure as the hand on his back began tracing the outline of his ribcage..

This hum seamlessly turned into a moan when the redhead moved his mouth to place warm, wet kisses along his jaw and down his throat, stopping to latch his mouth on his pulse. Roxas’ fists gripped and bunched helplessly at the soft black cotton of Axel’s shirt as he tipped his head back to grant the man further access to his neck, absolutely drunk with bliss. This is what he’d been craving. He had to give Axel credit where it was due; he knew what Roxas liked. 

Everything that had been weighing him down seemed to momentarily vanish. Hayner’s rehearsal dinner, which would be that upcoming weekend and was bound to be an awkward event. His parents and the fact that sooner or later they’d find out about… Well, everything. His job, school, his recent inability to keep it together through the tiniest of inconveniences… 

As wonderful as this all was, it wasn’t quite enough. He pulled away just enough to meet burning green eyes, the air feeling cool on wet skin. It was very hard to articulate what he wanted at that point.

“Axel… Um…” He fumbled for words, his face growing hot. Axel just listened patiently, tracing patterns on Roxas’ skin with the tips of his fingers.. “M-maybe we could take this to your room…” The corners of Axel’s lips quirked slightly at the suggestion, but it seemed like he was fighting the smile away. Perhaps it was so Roxas didn’t feel embarrassed.

“You sure?” He raised a thin red brow, his hands stilling to rest on the blond’s waist. He was probably being nice, doing the polite thing and letting Roxas make his choice without distraction. Unbeknownst to him, this was something Roxas had set out to do from the start, albeit a bit clumsily. He wasn’t sure if there was any real seduction involved. 

Apparently that part was unnecessary, anyway. 

He nodded fervently, finding it difficult to speak. He couldn’t really put into words the strange sense of urgency he felt, as if the hour glass had been tipped and was now flooding with sand. He felt like he was running out of time; time with Axel, time with Hayner, time as the person he was now. There was an impending sense of doom he couldn’t shake or explain.

“I mean… If you want to…” The idea of being assertive and seductive seemed ridiculous now that his nerves had caught up to him. He could easily see himself wimping out now.

“Of course I want to.” Axel said this as if it were the most obvious thing on the planet. “I just wanted to double check. I don’t want you to surprise yourself with it later and never talk to me again or something.” This made Roxas feel a pang of guilt. It must have shown on his face because the redhead quickly added. “I just don’t want you to have any regrets, I mean.”

“I won’t…” Roxas focused his gaze on his lap, unable to meet the taller man’s gaze. “I don’t think I  _ could _ … Stop talking to you, I mean. I like spending time with you and… Who else would I spend lunch with?” He was probably redder than Axel’s hair at this point. The redhead groaned, burying his face in Roxas’ hair.

“You’re killing me here.” His voice was muffled. A short laugh bubbled past Roxas’ lips. Whether that was his intention or not to make the blond laugh, he didn’t know, but it seemed to please Axel nonetheless. When he pulled back he didn’t wait for a response, he just dove in for another kiss. Though they were admittedly pretty tangled up, through a good deal of teamwork they were able to leave the couch. 

The trek to Axel’s bedroom turned out to be much harder than either of them had anticipated, but their wills were unshakable and they  _ would _ make it down the hall without breaking their kisses, damn it.

They didn’t anticipate tripping on the way there either. Axel managed to catch them both before they fell in what looked to them like some sort of botched tango move, and by the time they tumbled onto the redhead’s bed they were both lost in a fit of giggles.

“Is it cheesy that I’m sort of into seeing you in my shirt?” The redhead’s hand was currently creeping underneath said shirt, traversing the flat plane of Roxas’ stomach.

“A little.” Roxas could feel himself grinning like an idiot. “But I’m sort of into wearing your shirt, so I guess I’m just as cheesy.” He wrapped his arms around Axel’s neck, coiling wild red hair around his fingers. Apparently the redhead didn’t like the look enough to keep it, as it wasn’t long before he had gripped the shirt at the hem and tugged it off, with a bit of assistance from Roxas.

The minute the shirt was discarded Axel’s mouth was exploring the smooth, pale skin of his collarbone. These sucking kisses would no doubt become hickeys later, but Roxas couldn’t really bring himself to care. He sucked in his breath with a hiss when the redhead’s explorations extended to his nipple. 

“Ohhh- Oh my god.” The words spilled from his mouth as he writhed beneath that pleasuring mouth, tangling his fingers in Axel’s hair. Axel seemed to like this reaction, teasing the sensitive spot with his teeth and tongue before spattering kisses over the blond’s abdomen. 

“W-wait…” Roxas’ words were nothing but a breathless gasp. There was a part of him, a small part, that was screaming at him for interrupting something so wonderful. Axel pulled back far enough to meet Roxas’ gaze, his expression a mix of confusion and maybe a little disappointment. “It’s not fair… That I’m the only one getting undressed.” The redhead’s expression relaxed, becoming one of amusement.

Reaching out with trembling hands, he gripped Axel’s shirt and pulled. The man obediently raised his arms to allow Roxas to remove the garment entirely. The pull he felt was magnetic, the need for skin on skin contact just too great. He pulled the redhead on top of him with a great deal of force. He didn’t know how many times he had kissed Axel up until this point, but he didn’t see himself stopping anytime soon, tongue delving into the man’s mouth for yet another heated kiss. 

It was Axel who suddenly broke said kiss, causing the blond to release a little noise of disappointment. The redhead looked troubled.

“What is it? What’s wrong?” Roxas drew his brows together, bringing a hand up to caress Axel’s cheek, brushing a stray strand of hair out of his face. He sighed, leaning into the touch.

“Nevermind…” He took the blond’s hand in his, kissing his palm. This was almost enough to convince Roxas. Almost.

“If something’s up you need to tell me.” He insisted. “I can’t read your mind, Axel.” It was no easy task to ignore the increasing tightness of his boxers, but he wasn’t about to ignore whatever was clearly on Axel’s mind.

“It doesn’t matter.” He was trying to sound convincing but something about it was… Off. Pushing himself up to rest on his elbow, Roxas pressed a chaste kiss to Axel’s lips. It was simple and soft, just lips meeting lips.

“Of course it matters.” He rolled his eyes, tightening his hold on the redhead just a little. “I’m not going to bully you into… This… If something’s bothering you.” Axel snorted, his body relaxing.

“Honestly it’s nothing. And you aren’t bullying me into  _ anything _ .” He promised. Roxas hummed in response, allowing his hands to explore the redhead’s bare chest.

“If you’re sure…” He made a mental note to ask the redhead about this later. He was a bit distracted, drinking in the sight of bare skin and toned muscle. It must have been pretty obvious, because it made Axel laugh warmly, leaning in and attaching his mouth to the soft flesh where Roxas’ ear met his jaw. 

He tipped his head to the side with a moan, shuddering at the feeling of Axel’s hand ghosting over his clothed arousal. Awkwardly moving to grip one of the man’s shoulders, he pulled him back just far enough to meet his eye.

“E-enough foreplay.” He ordered breathlessly with all the authority he could muster. “You can do that all you want some other time…” He took a shuddering breath, trying his best not to chicken out. “I want you… All of you right now.” He was somehow able to fight off his bashfulness for a brief second of honesty.

If Axel noticed his stuttering, he didn’t say anything. Instead he wordlessly claimed Roxas’ lips again, his hands roaming lower and lower until they were yanking away the shorts the blond had been borrowing. At Roxas’ insistence, he also removed the jeans he’d worn to work. His nerves still hadn’t left him entirely, and at the very least he didn’t want to be the only one taking his clothes off.

After the removal of both their boxers a sense of panic set in. They were really going to do this… It was surreal and terrifying and exciting all at the same time… He wasn’t sure what to make of the barrage of emotions.

“I haven’t done this in a really long time.” The words came out in a jumble. They were a roundabout admission of nervousness, which seemed to be something Axel picked up on.

“I sort of figured as much…” His smile was almost sheepish. “We’ll go at your pace.”

“I might not be very good…” Roxas felt dizzy, probably due to the fact that he was both extremely anxious and extremely turned on. Axel sighed, shaking his head.

“Geez, Rox. I’m not gonna’ rate your performance.” He placed a sweet kiss on Roxas’ lips, warm hands rubbing comforting circles over his hip bones. He felt a sigh escape him as he allowed himself to surrender to the feeling. One of those hands began its descent, long fingers wrapping loosely around Roxas’ cock. He moaned into the redhead’s mouth as that hand began to move. Eventually he was panting into the kiss, blunt fingernails clawing at Axel’s back.

“No more... “ He gasped. “Don’t want to come yet… I want you inside me,  Please.” If he were in his right mind he would have cringed at how lewd he sounded, but luckily he wasn’t in his right mind. On some level the request felt selfish, but when he thought about it with what little thought capacity he could muster, he couldn’t really imagine holding anyone else like this. A few weeks ago that might have been different, but now…

Axel clicked his tongue.

“Someone’s impatient.” His grin was impish as he pulled away to rummage through the drawer of his bedside table. Roxas was frozen in anticipation, and perhaps partially from the jitters. When he saw that Axel was returning triumphant with lube and a condom he thought he might faint. “Hey… Look at me.” A gentle hand turned Roxas’ face in his direction. “Take a breath, okay?” The blond nodded, drawing in a ragged breath. “Don’t be nervous.”   
  
“Easier said than done.” The blond replied with a weak laugh. 

“Fair enough.” Axel acquiesced. “You’re in charge, okay? We won’t do anything you don’t want to do.” 

“I want…” Roxas licked his lips anxiously. “I want this. Really.” The redhead pinned him with a scrutinous gaze before taking his word for it. Axel seemed determined to calm the blond’s nerves, connecting their lips again with a series of hot, wet, distracting kisses. His lips felt tingly from all the kissing, and he was sure they would be swollen by the end of it all.

These kisses that held such intensity that they actually did provide a good enough distraction that he didn’t notice what Axel was doing until he felt the pad of a lube coated finger gently pressing against the puckered flesh of his entrance..

“Oh god…” The words were muffled, lost in another ravenous kiss. One finger was easy enough to get used to, all things considered. The endless barrage of kisses definitely helped, not that Roxas could ever imagine a scenario where he wasn’t blown away by Axel’s kisses. When he added a second finger the blond grunted and squirmed in discomfort, which immediately had the redhead making use of his other hand. 

That hand, squeezing and pumping his already dripping erection, made the last finger bearable. It was more than bearable when those fingers finally brushed the place that made him see stars. It took every ounce of strength he had to keep from coming right then. He wanted to hold out, damn it. He also wanted the experience to be strictly pleasurable, so he endured the preparation for a little while longer before given in to his impatience.

“It’s f-fine just fuck me…” His grip on Axel was tight, unwilling to allow him to escape. The redhead raised his eyebrows in surprise.

“Such coarse language.” He commented with goofy grin. Roxas rolled his eyes. 

“You’re such a dork.” He announced breathlessly as he ran his fingers through the redhead’s messy hair. The way he said it almost made it sound like he was murmuring sweet nothings instead of calling Axel names. The taller man gently repositioned Roxas’ legs, still leaving messy kisses along his jawline. The blond let out a hoarse groan at the feeling of being penetrated by something other than the redhead’s fingers. He hadn’t been lying when he had told Axel it had been a while. The feeling was so alien. Not that it was bad or necessarily painful, it was just… Weird. 

Axel was kind enough to go slow, which Roxas was grateful for. He allowed the blond time to adjust, and it wasn’t long before the careful, gentle pace wasn’t enough. He needed friction. He needed it so hard and so fast he forgot his own name.

After letting Axel go at a leisurely pace for a little while longer, out of politeness, he wrapped his legs around his waist and pulled him closer, deeper. His mouth opened in a soundless cry of pleasure, arching his back and grasping desperately for Axel, Axel who he couldn’t get enough of, who seemed to fill a void in him like some sort of missing puzzle piece.

“Axel…  _ ahh _ … F-faster Axel.” All the redhead could manage was a brief nod, gripping Roxas’ hips with bruising force and all too willingly quickening the pace of his thrusts. 

They moved together, a cooperative push and pull, giving and taking. This was definitely pleasurable, but it was hard to keep up. Soon neither of them could focus enough to keep control. 

“Oh my god… Oh fuck… Axel.” That name tumbled from his mouth repeatedly, as he were chanting some sort of desperate prayer. Roxas clawed helplessly at the redheads back, hoping to god they weren’t going to break the headboard with how fast and hard Axel was pounding into him. As rushed as all of this was, it was good. Extremely good. Besides, they could always try taking it slow some other time.

“Shit… Rox…” Axel’s voice was hoarse, and it almost reminded Roxas of how the man sounded when he had just woken up. For some reason that made his heart beat even harder. 

“D-deeper Axel...  _ Mm _ \- Oh my god.” He buried his head in the crook of Axel’s neck, biting his lip hard as he tried not to pass out right then and there. 

Every once in awhile one of the rhythmic thrusts would nail his prostate hard, keeping him on the very brink of orgasm until there was just no holding out anymore. The combination of the hand stroking him and the skillfully timed thrusts brushing his prostate were too much to take.

“Ax...el… C-coming… I’m…” He felt his body tense, pulling the redhead into a bruising kiss as he rode out the best orgasm he’d had in years… Maybe the best orgasm he’d had ever. It was hard to rate it when he was still drunk off of it. He could feel Axel moaning into the kiss, his movements slowing until his muscles stiffened and he released with a low groan. It seemed they had pretty good timing, with Axel coming only seconds after Roxas did.

The kissing didn’t stop, but it did get more tender afterwards. Axel pulled away briefly to tie off his condom and toss it in the trashcan beside his bed, and Roxas marveled at the fact that he had put one on without him even noticing. 

Once that was out of the way, he was pulled into Axel’s arms again, held like he was something precious. He could feel the redhead stroking his hair.

“Did you tell your sister you’re here? She’d probably be worried, not knowing where you are and all.” The blond felt the taller man place a feather light kiss to the crown of his head. He splayed his hand over Axel’s chest, feeling his slightly elevated heartbeat beneath his palm.

“Since when did you get so buddy buddy with my sister?” Axel slightly displaced him with a shrug.

“She didn’t seem all that suspicious of me anymore when I updated her on how you were doing and where you were last night.” He explained. “I think I earned some brownie points.” The blond wondered what Axel and his sister could have possibly talked about, and he only hoped Namine didn’t say anything embarrassing,

“No way can I tell her where I am. Not when my mother apparently takes the liberty of reading her messages  _ for _ her.” He scoffed. “You’ve been picked on enough today.” The steady rise and fall of Axel’s chest in combination with having his hair petted was making him sleepy again.

“I can take it.” The redhead assured him. “The only problem would be explaining why you’re bunking with the ER doctor. Sounds like a soap opera or something.”

“I think we’ve done a bit more than bunk together.” He snickered. “So it wasn’t my best lie. At least  _ I  _ didn’t tell them my appendix exploded.” Not that it particularly bothered Roxas. If anything he thought it was funny. And in his opinion they were made a pretty good team when it came to lying their faces off, from the day they first met. Or in Axel’s case, the day  _ after _ they first met since he remembered more than Roxas did.

“I didn’t say it  _ exploded _ .” Axel corrected. “I said it burst. Which is still one of the more inconvenient afflictions I could have come up with.” The blond chuckled, burying his nose in Axel’s clavicle.

“My mom already threatened to ruin you and she doesn’t even know you lied yet. If she ever found out you’d have to skip town.” He felt almost giddy now that he was effectively off the grid. At least for now, his parents’ antics seemed more comical than anything else. “Then again if she found out about this, we’d both have to skip town.”

“Radiant Garden is nice. Rent’s a little high though.” Axel’s smile was mischievous. Roxas rolled his eyes, poking him in the ribs.

“My rent is high enough as it is. No way could I afford to live anywhere else.” He took a deep breath, inhaling the redhead's spicy, masculine scent. Being in the man's apartment he just couldn’t escape it. “Knowing my mother, there's nowhere on earth I could go to completely escape her wrath.”

“Gotta admire that kind of determination.” Axel commented. Roxas just snorted.

“Determination… I guess that's a good word for it.” He adjusted his position so he didn't have to crank his neck back to look at the redhead's face. “So, are you going to tell me what was bothering you earlier, now?” Axel laughed, looking almost embarrassed.

“It's stupid. I was just overthinking things again.” It sounded like that was the most he was willing to divulge. Roxas frowned.

“Well what were you overthinking?” He pressed, dissatisfied with that answer. Axel always seemed so… Cool with everything. Like he never stressed about anything in his life. Of course that couldn’t be true, but Roxas didn’t like that he felt he had to fake it around him.

“I told you, it doesn't matter…” The redhead insisted. Roxas supported himself on his elbows, giving the man a stern look.

“Well _ I _ think it does matter.” He countered. Axel released an exasperated sigh.

“You’re not letting this go, are you?” Roxas shook his head in response, causing him to sigh again. “I was just wondering why.” He explained.

“Why what?” The blond rested his cheek against his hand.

“Why me, I guess? Why now… It all happened kind of fast so.…” Axel shrugged.

“I… Don't really know.” Roxas answered honestly. He supposed he probably lacked tact when it came to such things, doubtlessly making the situation difficult to read. “I guess I sort of started to feel like time was up for me. Like no matter what I do I can't change or control my future. This… Felt like my last chance to rebel against that. I wanted to choose something for myself… Does that make any sense?” He felt like he was babbling, emitting a stream of complete nonsense.

He wanted being with Axel to be  _ his _ choice. He wanted falling for Axel to be  _ his _ choice. He didn't want to drown in his sorrows anymore. He didn't want to fall in love with people he couldn't have anymore. He didn't want to live his life wondering what could have been while other people planned his future for him.

Even if this didn’t last, even if he still felt confused, even though the thought of losing Hayner felt like a swift punch to the gut… This at least was something he could control. Something that wasn’t  done on a whim, not like last time, even if it left him just as breathless.

“I think so…” Axel's gaze wandered to the ceiling. “Kind of. So why'd you choose me?”

This was a hard question to answer because, well, not even Roxas knew.

“I… Don’t think I  _ chose _ you.” If anything it felt like Axel chose  _ him _ . That night at the bar, the night he got blackout drunk over a stereotypical crush on a straight friend. An already taken, about to get married straight friend. “I… When I thought about doing something like… Like this… And I really did think about it.” That made Axel snort. “I could only think about you.” He felt like he wanted to hide, like he needed to cover his burning face with his hands to curb his embarrassment.

Axel had a thoughtful look on his face, as if there was more he wanted to say but he couldn’t find the right words.

“I uh… Wouldn’t do something like th-that with just anyone.” He added, focusing his gaze on a small tear in the comforter, on anything but Axel. “I mean… I don’t do things like that  _ ever _ …” He was a prude. Friends and family alike would agree.

It still confused him. He never kissed strangers, but he had kissed Axel. He never did intimate things with people he wasn’t dating, but he did with Axel. He was always able to curb his desires, but he was helpless when it came to the desire he felt for Axel. When he thought about it, really thought about it, it had to be Axel. 

“Not to be an ass, but that’s what I thought… At first, anyway.” The redhead offered an apologetic smile. “Sorry, but you don’t come across as the promiscuous type.”

“I’m not.” Roxas rolled over onto his side, resting his head on Axel’s shoulder. “I don’t usually… But this time I just…” Now it was he who was at a loss for words. The redhead merely shook his head, a smile just barely ghosting his features.

“You’re going to be the death of me.” He stated, staring up at the ceiling. Roxas wanted to ask what he meant by that, but the redhead closed his eyes with a sigh, feather light lashes brushing his cheeks. It seemed like that was another question that would have to wait. He studied the taller man’s features, relaxed to the point of looking serene, before snuggling himself into the crook of his neck.

They could both probably use some rest, especially after such a heavy conversation. As he drifted off into his second nap of the day, he thought about how, no matter how much time he spent with Axel, there was always something about the man that he found surprising. 

From the very day they had met, Axel continued to be some sort of enigma, and just when Roxas thought he had the redhead’s personality pinned down, Axel would pull something else out of his proverbial hat. This time as he fell asleep he had upgraded from the throw pillow to Axel. The redhead would probably be similarly drooled on, but he doubted he would mind.

* * *

 

**Consent is sexy, kids. Sorry this is so short… Well, short for me anyways. Had to make this chapter a two parter. Once I hit 10,000 words I knew I’d have to split it. At least there’s no cliffhanger this time, amirite? We get to find out some juicy info next chapter though. Let that be the carrot I dangle in front of you.**


	12. Chapter Twelve

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Anniversary Vanilla! I kept re-writing this so it took forever. Sorry guys, I’m terrible at keeping my shit together. Getting a nasty case of bronchitis certainly did nothing to help this. Thank you all for your feedback, and thank you for reading this.

Roxas wasn’t sure what time it was when he woke up, the burning orange light of sunset streaming in through the heavy curtains his only clue. One of Axel’s arms was draped over him, his bare chest rising and falling slowly as he slept.

_ ‘Oh my god…’ _ He felt his heart suddenly start pounding double time. ‘ _ I actually, honest to god, slept with Axel’ _

It was hard to believe he’d been brave enough.

Roxas had expected this to feel awkward somehow. The morning after always was. There had never been any exceptions. Hell, not even Axel had been an exception. At least that’s how it was before. He had very rarely been able to find himself comfortable waking up beside someone after sleeping with them.

Yet right now… He wasn’t even sure  _ what _ he was feeling. It was one that covered him in goosebumps and set off bottle rockets in his chest. Sure, he was still wondering just what the hell he was thinking, going and doing something like that on a whim, but he couldn’t find it in himself to actually  _ regret _ any of it.

He supposed it could be because this was by no means his first time waking up beside the redhead. Sure, the circumstances were new, but the outcome was familiar nonetheless. He leaned into Axel’s warmth, taking in the smell of sweat, of Axel, of the soft sheets and blankets.

It was kind of bizarre… He could feel a feeling of content blooming in his chest. Instead of wanting to run and hide, instead of wanting to bury it under the rug and forget this had ever happened, he didn’t want to budge an inch.He wanted to just stay and memorize every detail so he wouldn’t forget.

Even if all of this still ended in disaster like he was afraid it would, he wanted to be able to find this again in his memory.

He wanted to always be able to recall the feeling of gentle hands and explosive kisses even if everything fell apart.

The comforter was mostly on Roxas’ side of the bed now, barely covering the redhead’s waist. Roxas wasn’t surprised that he had hogged all the blankets, but he still felt a little bad. Yanking at the heavy comforter he tried his best to provide Axel with more blanket coverage.

He allowed himself to just lie there and feel satisfied for a while, and it wasn’t until he heard the faint ringing of his cell phone from the other room that he budged at all.

He left the warmth of the bed as carefully as possible, so as not to wake the sleeping redhead. He pulled on his boxers and crept out to the living room where he had left his phone, grabbing a thin throw blanket to bundle himself in before picking up the device and checking the caller ID. He felt a little wobbly and weird, but that wasn’t unexpected.

It was Pence calling, which struck him as odd. He swiped to answer, keeping his voice low.

“Hey Pence, what’s up?” The clock on the stove revealed it was a little after six in the evening.

“Thank god you answered, Rox.” His friend sounded relieved. “Is Hayner with you?”

“No, why would he be?” He and Hayner… They didn’t really hang out very often, just the two of them… It was always he, Hayner, and Pence. It had been that way for as long as he could remember. That was fine by him. He imagined any time spent alone with Hayner would just be too awkward. Now that he thought of it, he and Hayner never really had much in common anyway.

“None of us can get a hold of him!” Pence explained, his voice thick with worry. Roxas was suddenly very awake. “He and Olette had a meeting with the wedding planner this afternoon, you know, to finalize stuff, but he never showed up. His phone is off and none of us can reach him!”

Roxas felt himself go cold. Hayner was impulsive, this wasn’t completely unusual for him, but nevertheless in the back of his mind all he could think of were worst case scenarios. He had been so excited to marry Olette… So much that it used to sting.

He bit his lip. It was mandatory that he help track him down. They had been friends for… God, at least ten years.  A part of him felt like rushing out now to join the search, anxiety causing his stomach to sink like a stone.

On the other hand he couldn’t just leave Axel with no explanation. Especially not after they had finally gotten around to actually talking.

And leaving after… Well,  _ that _ … That would be bad enough on its own. He at least had more tact than that.

“I’ll meet you at your place to join the search party, just let me get around.” He glanced back in the direction of Axel’s bedroom. “Long day at work and all that.”

“Thanks Rox. We can always count on you.”

Pence’s words made him feel guilty.

Hanging up his phone, he placed it back on the coffee table and returned to the redhead’s room. He was still asleep, curled up on his side. Roxas sat cross legged on the bottom of the bed, pausing to steel himself before gently shaking Axel’s shoulder.

He woke gradually, his fingers twitching and his brow furrowing. Roxas watched his relaxed features shift with bated breath.

Axel grunted, rubbing his face with the hand that had so recently been resting on Roxas’ waist. He opened his eyes and rubbed them vigorously with the back of his hand, vision adjusting to the light. When he had gotten his bearings, he blinked blearily in surprise.

“Nice blanket cape.” He commented, causing Roxas to flush.

“Thanks. Nice bedhead.” This made Axel laugh, though there was something about his suddenly rigid posture that made him seem… Anxious. This was odd, usually Roxas was the one riddled with anxiety while Axel took everything in stride. It shouldn’t have surprised him so much, everyone got nervous sometimes.

He imagined whatever it was he was feeling would only be made worse by his having to suddenly leave.

The only thing he could think to do was steal a kiss, whether for him or for Axel he wasn’t sure. The redhead’s posture relaxed, melting into the kiss with a hum. Roxas pulled back slightly, still leaning incredibly close to the other man’s face.

“Pence just called.” Might as well get this over with quickly… Like pulling off a band aid. “It was about Hayner… He wimped out and ditched a meeting with the wedding planner.” He licked his lips nervously. “Pence asked if I could help track him down.”

The look on Axel’s face was hard to read. Was he angry? Disappointed? Bitter? Emotions flitted by too fast for Roxas to identify them.  

“You should probably go then.” His tone was neutral as he sat up, finger combing the tangles out of his hair. Something about the way he said it stabbed Roxas in the gut.

“He’s my friend, you know, and I can’t just leave it all to Pence and Olette…” He explained, his stomach in knots.

“I get it.” The redhead shrugged. He wasn’t looking at Roxas though, his gaze fixed on the light flitting through the curtains. “I’d offer to help but I don’t think Hayner’s my biggest fan. I should probably call into work and tell them I can come in after all.”

“O-okay.” Roxas didn’t really know what to make of the situation. It felt… Tense. “I’ll still see you at lunch tomorrow, right?” That did make Axel look his way. He was smiling, but it didn’t quite meet his eyes.

“Of course. I already swore off ignoring you.” He sounded… Guilty. Maybe a little sad. Roxas still felt relieved.

“Good. I don’t think my insurance will appreciate me summoning you via ambulance.” He joked. Axel snorted.

“Probably not.”

Roxas dressed himself in his clothes from the previous night. They were filthy, but he was too antsy to go home and change.

“Would you like a ride?” He was surprised by the offer. Axel had been sitting there silently watching him get his things together.

“You don’t have to-”

“I’m the one who drove us here so unless you want to take the bus…” He raised a thin red brow. Damn it, he had a point.

“I guess if it’s alright with you…” He relented. Axel rolled his eyes, wrapping himself in the sheet and climbing out of bed.

“I’m the one who offered, didn’t I?” He replied, digging around his floor for his clothes. After they were both completely dressed and Roxas had pocketed his things, he followed Axel out into the slightly chilled evening air.

The redhead locked up his apartment and wordlessly descended the staircase to the parking lot.

The car ride to Pence’s was a quiet one. It made Roxas feel like crawling out of his skin. Aside from the directions he was giving to Axel there wasn’t much talk at all.

When they pulled up to Pence’s apartment complex, the redhead finally spoke. He had a strange look on his face.

“You’ve probably already figured this out but I uh… Know all about your thing with Hayner.” He didn’t look at Roxas, just staring out the windshield. “I’ve never really brought it up because it seemed like a sore subject and all…”

“I… Thought so.” The blond felt silly and embarrassed. “I kind of figured I must have spilled my guts to you while I was drunk so…” Axel shook his head.

“No… Well, I mean yeah you vented to me, but I put the rest together myself. You uh… Didn’t really pour your heart out to me or anything. I more or less just… Caught on.” He was gripping the steering wheel unnecessarily tightly. “Your friends seem pretty oblivious though so I wouldn’t worry about them figuring it out any time soon.”

Roxas shifted in his seat. He’d already had a feeling Axel knew, he had seemed like he’d known for a while, but that didn’t make it any less weird to hear him say it out loud.

“I admit, your situation is a little more rom-com than anything I’ve experienced.” He pursed his lips before amending his statement, “Well, no scratch that, mine is just as cliche.” Roxas wished he understood what Axel was talking about, even a little bit. The redhead still wasn’t looking at him for some reason.

“Look I’m no stranger to unrequited love, you know?” Axel continued. He frowned, his face contorting into another expression Roxas couldn’t make out. “It really… It sucks. It’s one of the worst feelings in the fucking cosmos because no matter what  _ you _ feel, it can’t change how  _ they _ feel…” He pinched the bridge of his nose.

“Fuck I don’t know where I was going with this… I guess I wanted to level with you in case...” He paused, looking troubled. Like he couldn’t find the right words. “I don’t know, in the event of some crazy fairy tale bullshit.” His knuckles were white. “But I… Don’t think I have the balls to actually say what I was aiming to…” The redhead let out a short, mirthless laugh, tangling his fingers in his hair.. “Anyway just… Good luck, I guess.”

Roxas didn’t know how to respond to that. In fact, he could barely follow it at all. His silence seemed to make Axel uncomfortable.

“Go find your friend… I’ll… See you at lunch tomorrow.” There was something off about the tone of his voice. Roxas nodded dumbly, climbing out of the redhead’s car and watching him speed away.

He’d have to ask him what the hell he meant later…

Pence answered his door after the first knock, his relief clear from the expression on his face.

“We’ve checked everywhere; his apartment, the clocktower…” He informed Roxas, leading him inside.

“Did you check campus?” The blond asked. Pence nodded glumly. Roxas sighed, plopping down on his friend’s couch. It was a small town, but there were still too many places to look. He just sat there for a while, attempting to brainstorm but failing miserably. It was hard to muster anything when Axel had left him with this impossible puzzle.

There was something Axel wasn’t saying, but his tone had betrayed him. Roxas only wished he could identify what that tone was. There was some sort of meaning behind his rambling…

“Did you check our old hide out?” Pence nodded. Roxas frowned. He was running out of ideas. “The old ice cream place?” Another nod. “What about the beach?” He knew Hayner. Hayner would go somewhere with meaning. He was a drama queen.

“No… I didn’t think to check there.” Pence’s brows drew together in confusion.

“That’s where Hayner proposed.” The blond explained, trying to keep his expression neutral. He remembered. He remembered Hayner telling him every detail, about the entire day leading up to his proposal beneath the palm trees. Beneath the setting sun. He remembered the feeling of his heart breaking.

“Roxas you’re a genius!” Pence clapped him on the back.

“We’ll see.” Roxas felt his face heat up. “Let’s just hurry before it gets any darker. I don’t feel like getting mugged.” As he spoke Pence rushed off to grab his keys and his phone.

Roxas thanked the powers that be that they were able to make it to the beach before dark, considering how long it usually took to get there. It was all but empty now, the water having now become too cold to wade in. The sunset reflected off of the sea, making it look like part of the sky.

He could remember going there as a child, having splash fights with his cousin and searching for seashells with Xion. He had expected his nostalgia to have been sullied Hayner’s proposal, but the memories were all left exactly as they were.

“Maybe you should talk to him…” Pence suggested, eyes pinned to the sandy ground. “He wouldn’t answer any of our calls. Maybe he’ll listen to you. You’re good at talking sense into people.” Roxas gulped. He didn’t know how he’d be able to talk him into a marriage that still kind of hurt to think about.

“I mean… I can try.” He relented. He left Pence, trudging through the soft sand to the little grove of palm trees. He tried not to trip over discarded beach toys and abandoned sand castles.

Hayner was seated in the shade, leaning against one of the tall palm trees. The look on his face was one of a belligerent child. Apparently he hadn’t wanted to be found.

“You really worried everyone.” Roxas scolded, taking a seat beside his friend. “It’s not that hard to let someone know where you’re going.”

“I needed some time to think.” Hayner replied defensively, his arms folded. Roxas rolled his eyes. Out of all his friends, Hayner was the most immature by far. It was something he used to find endearing. “Used to” being the operative words.

“Well, what are you thinking about?” The sound of the waves was calming. Roxas watched the tide roll in, bringing with it seaweed and tiny scuttling crabs.

“I dunno…” Hayner rubbed the back of his neck. “This whole wedding thing just happened so fast, I needed to get away for a while.” It was an honest answer, though Roxas could easily argue that it was partially Hayner’s fault things were moving so fast.

“Olette probably thinks you don’t want to marry her anymore.” He noted. Hayner shook his head, his expression sincere.

“That’s not it… Of course I want to marry Olette!” He cried. “I can’t imagine my life without her! It’s like… I want to be with her forever, you know?”

Roxas knew. He hadn’t been able to make peace with it until recently, but he always knew. They’d been together since High School, after all.

“Maybe instead of running away and hiding you could have, I don’t know, talked to her?” He pinned his friend with a pointed look. Hayner faltered, guilt washing over his face.

“Oh god… She’s going to be so mad.” He groaned, burying his face in his hands. Roxas used his index finger to trace little designs in the sand. He didn’t feel upset, weirdly enough. He didn’t feel afraid either. He didn’t feel any of the things he thought he would.

Giving Hayner relationship advice would have made him absolutely ill before but now… It just felt like the right thing to do. Olette was his friend too, and he hated to think of how she felt right now, not knowing if the wedding she’d worked so hard to make perfect would even happen.

He’d helped with so much of it at this point, even he’d be slightly pissed if it was called off now. It wasn’t easy to plan a wedding so big in a matter of months. He understood getting cold feet, but Hayner had done very little in the way of putting together his own wedding.

Now that he thought of it, he had never been in love with the real Hayner, childish and jealous, irresponsible and hotheaded. The moment his feelings turned into something more than friendship, every negative trait his friend had was forgotten. He had fallen for some idealized version his love blind mind had concocted. It had taken a lot of time to realize and accept that.

Slowly the blinders were coming off. When it started, he couldn’t say, but things were different now.

It was still a little hard, and it still felt a little sad, but… Not as much as he had thought it would.

“She’ll probably be a little mad. Running off like this was shitty.” Roxas said. Not that he hadn’t done his fair share of running away, in hindsight. “But she’s doing all of this because she wants to marry you. I think you’ll be okay.” Hayner released a relieved sigh, and it felt good to have helped, if even just a little.

Somehow over the last few months he had been able to find some semblance of closure, and while it still wasn’t perfect, it was enough.

They sat there for a moment longer, watching the sun disappear beneath the waves, before wiping the sand off of their clothes and walking back to Pence’s car.

“Did Roxas fix everything?” Pence was smiling hugely.

“Yeah. He helped me pull my head out of my ass. I’m good now.” Hayner laughed, his cheeks turning pink.

“All I did was state the obvious.” Roxas smirked. “You better not pull this again though. I’m not giving you this pep talk a second time.” As they piled into Pence’s car, Hayner squinted.

“Roxas… Is that a hickey?” He poked the side of the blond’s neck, causing him to tense.

“Of course not.” Pence answered before Roxas could fabricate a lie of his own. “Why would  _ Roxas _ have a hickey. You’re hallucinating.”

The light was dim now, but it hadn’t been in Pence’s living room. This led Roxas to believe that Pence knew much more than he let on, he had only been kind enough not to say anything.

Pence dropped him off at his apartment and the very first thing he did was take the longest shower in the history of the world. He stood under the spray well after the water had gone cold, trying to somehow get his thoughts in order.

He fell asleep before he could think to text Axel.

The next day he received a smothering, flower scented hug from Aqua the moment he walked into work. Luckily no one was nosy enough to ask what his emergency room visit was for or why he was bundled up in a turtleneck at this time of year, but he did notice that Aqua kept insisting on doing a lot of the busywork herself. No matter what he said, the woman kept him bound to his desk the whole day.

When his lunch break rolled around he was eager to see Axel again. He had been busy all morning trying to decipher what the man had been trying to say, but it seemed the only one who could explain any of that was Axel himself.

The diner was warm and smelled good, as always. It seemed that Kairi was the hostess today, leaning against her station and tapping the deep brown wood with her pen. When she saw Roxas enter she immediately beamed.

“Hi Roxas. I’ll get you a menu, you can just head over to your usual booth.” The redhead nodded in the direction of his usual spot.

It was all so familiar now, the point of being comforting. The plush vinyl seat, the smell of homemade cooking, the bustling of dishes...

Kairi returned with a glass of water and a menu.

“My brother is out sick, so I’m afraid it’ll just be me today.” She offered an apologetic smile. Roxas frowned.

“What do you mean he’s out sick?” He had been fine yesterday…

“I don’t know. He just called in and said he was on death’s door. He sounded like shit so I didn’t question it.” Kairi shrugged. “He also gave me instructions to inform you because I guess he’s just too ill to do it himself.” She rolled her eyes.

“Well thanks for telling me, Kairi.” Roxas smiled weakly. He was not liking this feeling of deja vu.

He ate lunch alone that day, his stomach churning too much for him to actually finish his food.

Seeing as his co-workers were going easy on him, the workday passed rather quickly. Aqua sent him home a half hour early, still apparently seeing the need to mother him. This gave him more free time than he was used to, and he decided to use it wisely.

He called Axel as he perused the soup aisle at the supermarket.

“Hey Rox, off work already?” He sounded completely normal, which ticked Roxas off.

“Yeah, Aqua let me out early so I figured I’d get some groceries and bring you something to eat. Kairi told me just how deathly ill you were.” He slammed cans of soup into his shopping cart, probably denting them in the process.

“It’s really not that bad, you don’t need to go to all that trouble.” Axel was trying to sound casual, but it wasn’t working. He sounded nervous now.

“Don’t downplay it, I know you’d never take a sick day unless you have a fever of at  _ least _ 104°.” Roxas was having a hard time not sounding peeved.

“If I had a fever that high I’d be dying.” The redhead replied flatly.

“Well, sounds like you  _ really _ need some soup then.” Roxas responded snarkily. He could hear Axel sigh.

“If I was that sick I’d need the Emergency room, but  _ okay _ , come over.” He relented. “But you aren’t allowed to poison my soup.”

After picking up a few frozen dinners and a jug of milk, Roxas deposited his groceries at his apartment  and left for Axel’s. True to his word he did bring a can of soup, though he wasn’t sure if he’d actually need it. Axel sounded perfectly fine to him.

When Axel answered the door, however, his eyes were rimmed with dark circles, his face a ghostly white, and Roxas found it hard to be mad at him. He was still mad, sure, but it was hard. He looked pretty terrible.

“You look like a raccoon.” He commented, following the redhead inside.

“Yeah well… I’m a little hung over.” Axel said this like it was perfectly normal and not at all out of character. The guy drank, sure, but not on work nights and not enough to look this haggard.

“Where did you find the time to drink? Don’t you get off work at like… Six?” Roxas haphazardly tossed the grocery bag on the counter with a clang. The redhead shrugged, collapsing onto his sofa.

“I forgot to call back into work so I went out last night instead.” He explained, rubbing his face groggily.

“If you so much as pulled out of the parking lot I’m telling your mom.” Roxas warned, receiving an exasperated look from the redhead.

“You really think I’d drink and drive? Not to be too macabre or anything but I’d rather not bend my car around a tree or be decapitated by a street sign.” This caused Roxas to visibly wince. “Larxene gave me a lift and she’s of the firm belief that alcohol makes you fat.”

This was mostly acceptable, though the thought of anyone being decapitated by a street sign made Roxas queasy. He wanted to ask if Axel had personal experience with street sign decapitations, but he also didn’t want to know.

“Can I at least get you a glass of water? You look dead.” He didn’t wait for a response, walking to the kitchenette and digging through the redhead’s cupboards for a glass.

“Not mincing words today, are we?” Axel sounded amused, but he looked tired.

“Nope.” The blond returned bearing a glass of water, which the taller man gladly accepted.

“Sorry for standing you up.” Axel’s apology sounded genuine.

“Yeah, because I’d really want you puking all over your family’s restaurant.” Roxas shook his head, seating himself beside the redhead. “I thought you lied about being sick because you were mad at me.”

“I was never  _ mad,  _ I was just…” He paused, looking at his hands.

“Just what?” Roxas pressed.

“Jealous, I guess?” The redhead smiled halfheartedly. “It’s really dumb. I said a whole bunch of embarrassing shit last night in the heat of the moment.”

“I don’t know about embarrassing. Cryptic and confusing maybe, but not embarrassing.” Roxas smiled reassuringly, watching Axel massage his temples. “How much did you drink last night to give yourself such a bad hangover?” the redhead groaned.

“Too much.” He cringed. “Thank god Larxene kept me from doing anything stupid because I don’t remember anything after actually getting to the bar.” Roxas reached over to give him a comforting pat on the back. 

“Do you do this a lot and just spare me the details or…” He’d known Axel for about six months now and he’d never mentioned any bar hopping. From everything he’d told Roxas, the blond had gathered that on most days he was too busy for things like that.

“Hardly.” Axel snorted. “I do my drinking at home and in moderation. In my infinite wisdom I thought going out and getting wasted would be a good distraction.” He took a tentative sip of water. Roxas took a deep breath.

“Are you too sick to explain what the hell you were going on about last night then? You just confused me and left me hanging.” He had about a million questions, but Axel was looking particularly green so he decided to take one step at a time for now.

“How’d the thing with Hayner go?” The redhead was clearly dodging the question. “I take it you found him or you probably wouldn’t be here.” 

He was looking sicker by the minute. Roxas had half a mind to just send him to bed and let the whole thing go.

“Yeah, he’s pretty easy to figure out.” The blond picked at a hangnail on his thumb. “He had cold feet which I hear is normal.” Roxas had no idea what he would do were he in Hayner’s place, but he doubted he would pull something as melodramatic as running away.

“I wouldn’t know.” Axel was looking increasingly nauseated. The blond sighed.

“Do you feel too sick to sleep?” He asked. 

“I… Might throw up again.” Axel admitted. The urge to nag him to take better care of himself was increasing. Roxas wordlessly left the suffering man to grab a washcloth from the bathroom, rinsing it under cool water and wringing it out before returning to the living room. 

The redhead was exactly where he’d left him, staring at the glass of water in his hand as if it were going to actually do something. Roxas gently removed it from his grasp, placing it on the coffee table.

“Come on, you’re not doing yourself any good just sitting here.” He struggled to pull the man up by his arm. “You’ll feel better if you sleep it off.” He could grill Axel about the night before when he didn’t look so run down. 

“I’m fine.” The redhead said, his words clashing with his appearance. Roxas pinned him with a disbelieving stare.

“Right, because you totally look fine.” He scoffed. “Get up so I can put you to bed.” Axel responded with a wounded look, but allowed Roxas to drag him off the couch and help him to his bedroom.

“I’ll yell at you when you wake up.” He informed him once he was settled, placing the damp washcloth on his forehead.

“Why are you going to yell at me?” The redhead was smiling weakly, eyes fixed on Roxas, who was currently seated at the end of his bed.

“For leaving me with a bunch of weird vague shit and drinking yourself sick.” He doubted he would actually yell. He would probably just end up chastising him. “Have you eaten at all? If not I can make you some soup… It’s just chicken noodle so it should be pretty easy on your stomach” He offered. While it was nice that he wasn’t the one in distress this time, he didn’t much like how pitiful Axel looked.

“No, but it’s fine.” The redhead smiled ruefully, covering his eyes with his forearm. “I was worried I said something stupid and scared you away for good this time.” He snorted. “In my infinite wisdom I thought alcohol would be the perfect way to get my mind off it, but turns out there are some things drinking yourself into a coma can’t fix.”

“Geez…” Roxas sighed. “I find your lack of faith in me offensive.” Axel chuckled.

“Sorry. I know we said we’d be honest with each other and all that.” He sighed. “I don’t know what I was thinking.” Roxas shot an incredulous look his way. He didn’t for one minute think that was entirely true.

“Sure. So mind if I ask what you meant last night?” The redhead let out an odd little laugh.

“Which part?” He asked, and Roxas realized he hadn’t exactly been specific. Axel had said a lot of things last night.

He wasn’t quite sure where to start when it came to Axel’s little spiel, so he decided to pick the part that left him the most baffled.

“Okay then, what was all that talk about fairytale bullshit?”

Axel suddenly looked sick again.

“Oh that…” He dug the butts of his hand into his eyes. “It’s stupid…

“Humor me.” Roxas tried to look stern. “Things are just going to be weird until you actually tell me what’s going on. Like you said, we’re being honest with each other now.” 

“Okay… But you better not laugh. I’m warning you now it’s dumb.” The redhead bit his lip, peeking out from under his arm and still looking a bit wary.

“I won’t, promise.” Roxas crossed his heart for good measure. Axel took a deep breath.

“Okay fine. So I guess part of me was sort of afraid that uh…” It looked like he was struggling to form the necessary words. “That your buddy was pulling the whole runaway bride thing because of you… Or something.” He finished lamely.

“What, you thought Hayner had finally realized his love for me or something?” Roxas’ tone was teasing, but Axel looked almost sheepish. “No way, really?” He balked. 

“I mean it seemed like it was  _ sort of _ in the realm of possibility.” The redhead muttered. “People realize things at inopportune moments sometimes so…” He trailed off awkwardly.

Roxas was stunned speechless. It seemed ridiculous, as if anyone would pull a stunt like that because of  _ him _ .

“Why would he back out of his  _ wedding _ because of me?” Axel just twiddled his fingers, averting Roxas’ gaze. He almost looked… Embarrassed. Well, embarrassed and nauseated.

“I don’t know… It’s just the way he acts I guess. He seems kind of possessive.” He shrugged. “It… Made the whole ‘leaving your fiance for someone else’ cliche seem like something that could really happen. I mean it was just a thought, it’s not like I thought it was for sure or anything.” He clarified. Roxas laughed in spite of himself, and immediately covered his mouth with his hand once he realized that he was doing exactly what he had promised not to do.

“No fair, you promised not to laugh.” Axel crossed his arms in indignation.

“Sorry, sorry.” The blond apologized, smiling contritely. “Hayner just gets jealous whenever any of us have a friend that’s not him.” He shook his head. “He needs constant attention or he throws a fit. He does the same thing to Pence. Besides, he’s the straightest person I know.” 

He could see where Axel got the crazy notion, Hayner had been rude to the redhead every time he saw the guy. Even so, the whole thing seemed absurd. 

“He just needs to get used to you.” He concluded. Hayner usually came around… Eventually. 

“You make him sound like a dog or a baby…” Axel noted, knitting his fingers together to keep from fiddling with them.

“He  _ acts _ like a dog or a baby.” The blond replied simply. “Just so we’re clear, Hayner is still getting married this weekend. That hasn’t changed.”

“Ah.” Was Axel’s short response. It was enough.

Everything was making sense now. Finally, finally making sense, and Roxas felt a little dense for not putting the pieces together sooner.

Why the redhead was so flustered, why he went off on a tangent about unrequited love, why he acted the way he did around Roxas in general. 

He’d felt like it was his last chance, a feeling Roxas was all too familiar with. He had done a few things in particular recently solely due to the fact that he felt like he was running out of time. Things that he didn’t regret, but he definitely could have waited for.

He wanted to hear it for himself, of course, just to be sure but… If Axel couldn’t even muster up the courage last night, there was no reason for him find it in himself to do it right now. He certainly didn’t want to force an answer out of him.   


“Thanks for being honest with me. I think I get it now.” Roxas would press no further, especially not when Axel had gone and made himself so sick. The redhead squinted his eyes, apparently leery of this. “Oh, but can you do me a favor?”

“Sure, shoot.” Axel replied without an ounce of hesitation. 

“Depend on me every once in awhile. Since it seems like I’m always depending on you.” He reached up to give Axel’s hand a squeeze. “We trust each other that much, don’t we?” Axel’s brows drew together, giving the blond a scrutinizing look before silently nodding. He seemed to have been expecting a different question. 

Roxas beamed. It felt like he’d made a lot of progress since he went and got black out drunk over Hayner’s engagement, and he was proud, damn it. “Glad that’s settled. Now go to sleep, you lousy drunk, you.”

The redhead snorted, his posture relaxing. He seemed all too glad to be dropping the weighty subject of last night’s little rant.

“Bossy, bossy.” He clicked his tongue, to which Roxas responded by hitting him with a pillow.

Axel did let himself fall asleep, however, much to Roxas’ relief. The blond busied himself with homework, most of which was just note taking and reading responses. When there was no more of that to do, he dropped by his apartment to grab some books so he could keep himself entertained quietly, before returning to the redhead’s apartment. He couldn’t just leave him all alone.

When Axel woke up it had grown dark outside. He released a hoarse groan, startling Roxas, who had been sprawled out on the floor absorbed in a book. He sounded about as sick as before, but he at least looked a little better.

“You’re still here?” He rubbed the sand out of his eyes. Roxas put down his book.

“I mean… Yeah I figured… You know…” He floundered, suddenly feeling very self conscious. It had been a bit presumptuous of him to think Axel would want him to stick around. “You were pretty miserable so I thought you might want some company.” The redhead raised a thin brow.

“Well, I  _ was _ pretty miserable.” He admitted. “Though that was my own fault.”  

“It was.” Roxas closed his book, looking up at the taller man. “It’d be hypocritical for me to tell you not to drink yourself stupid, but I’m going to do it anyway.” He stood, brushing the wrinkles out of his clothes with both hands. 

He’d long since discarded his suit jacket, now only wearing his slacks and shirt which were both a bit rumbled from his constantly changing positions on the floor. His sleeves were rolled up to his elbows, and his shirt had come untucked at some point, not that he thought the redhead much cared about the state of his attire.

“Point taken.” Axel acquiesced. “I’ll try to avoid drinking myself into oblivion from now on. I do appreciate the company though.” The redhead’s smiled, and Roxas felt relieved that it seemed to be his usual, amiable smile. It wasn’t strained or tight. It was friendly, it was nice, it was  _ normal _ . 

In fact, the redhead was his usual self for the remainder of Roxas’ visit. Apparently sleeping it off had been the answer to his hangover dilemma, and clearing the air about Hayner seemed to be the trick when it came to his being tense and self-deprecating. 

As they watched reruns on TV, he combed his fingers through Roxas’ hair. That was when the blond knew for sure that things were alright between them. Now that Roxas was pretty sure he had things figured out… Or at least was starting to… He had a feeling things would stay that way.

* * *

**As always, feel free to leave comments and kudos to hurry me along. Stay classy San Diego.**


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well my birthday just passed, making me feel very old. Back in my day we had Lemons and PWP… I’m really dating myself, aren’t I? Anyway, I’m back to my old shenanigans so I hope you like this chapter. Happy Thanksgiving if you celebrate it.

Roxas had always considered himself a fairly smart person. He’d always thought he was particularly good at reading people. That was until recently, when he was bowled over by his utter cluelessness.

Now granted, he had been blinded by a love that could never be and all the drama that naturally followed, but it was still astounding just how oblivious he had been.

It was a mix of this guilt over not taking time to notice the feelings of others and the mounting curiosity he felt that drove him to really truly look for all the signs that he’d somehow been missing.

What he would do with the information he gained from his endeavor to pay more attention he didn’t quite know, but he felt the compulsion to find out anyway.

By no means did he feel sure of anything he felt, his ill fated crush on Hayner had caused him to doubt himself when it came to anything involving romance, and by no means did he think he was ready to confront the fact that he might just be developing feelings… Strong, scary, annoying feelings… For someone new.

Someone that wasn’t getting married in a matter of days and quite possibly had similar feelings for him...

Wow…

That fact in and of itself made this potential crush a lot safer than his last. That and he wasn’t foolishly allowing himself to fall for someone straight this time.

As usual, once lunch time rolled around he was out the door and on his way to see Axel. Hopefully now that he was a little less focused on his own drama he would be able to actually _notice_ things.

When he got to his parking spot he was surprised to find Xion leaning against the hood of his car, looking  grumpier than usual.

“So, you didn’t think to text your _best friend_ that you were in the emergency room?” Her delicate features were pulled into a scowl.

“I didn’t tell _anyone_ I was in the emergency room.” He looked back to the building that loomed behind him. “Well, no one but my boss.” It was the truth. It had been Axel who has told Namine about the incident, and his parents had found out by reading her messages. Xion looked unconvinced.

“Why do I have to rely on Namine to tell me what’s going on with you?” She didn’t sound angry… No, she sounded more sad than anything else. Frustrated and sad. Roxas sighed.

“Wanna’ join me for lunch?” He doubted Axel would mind, and it was probably about time he introduced the redhead to a friend of his that _wouldn’t_ be weird around him. “I can fill you in, at the very least it’ll make for an entertaining story.” The offer made Xion’s expression soften.

“I’d like that.” Before Roxas could even pull out his keys he was enveloped in a rib crushing hug. He wrapped his arms around his friend, squeezing her tightly.

“I missed my best friend.” She murmured, resting her chin on Roxas’ shoulder.

“I missed you too, Xi.” He said, making a mental note to spend more time with Xion once he didn’t have to worry about Hayner’s wedding anymore. He had been neglecting her for too long as it were. Once the embrace had ended and they were both in the car and on their way, the blond offered a sheepish smile.

“I sort of promised I’d meet someone… I hope you don’t mind um…” Gosh this was embarrassing... Xion raised a curious brow.

“I don’t mind being your third wheel.” Perceptive as always.  He was glad he at least didn’t have to explain _that_ … It would take all afternoon just to spit it out.

“Thanks. I uh… Sort of have an ulterior motive, bringing you along.” He admitted, feeling a pang of guilt for dragging his friend into his mess of a love life.

“Figured. It’s the guy you’ve been telling me about, isn’t it? Pretty ballsy, introducing him to Namine.” He felt the blood rush to his face.

“I didn’t introduce them, she broke into my house while he was over.” It was only a slight exaggeration. He focused on counting traffic signs, trying to save face by not completely dying of embarrassment.

“Yeah, she told me she’s run into him a couple times visiting you.” She gave a small shrug. “I didn’t tell her what you’d told me. You know, about the date and the canoodling. She doesn’t get to know _all_ your secrets.” That was… Really nice actually, especially since Namine had probably pestered her for information. Xion was his best friend for a reason.

Once they parked, Xion fed the meter and followed Roxas inside, stopping still as a statue in the doorway.

“What is it?” He looked around, but he couldn’t come up with a reason for the sudden behavior. She looked down at her ballet flats, her face looking pinker than usual.

“I don’t know, I just feel shy all of the sudden. It’s been a long time since I met any of your dates.” She shook her head, as if to shake away the feeling all together. “I guess I’m nervous he won’t like me or something.”

“Come on, what’s not to like?” He reached out to grab her hand, giving it a squeeze. She did have a point, it had been a long time since his quiet friend had been subjected to the experience of meeting someone he was dating.

Mostly because he usually didn’t like subjecting his similarly introverted friend to such things.

The diner was busy, as it always was at this time of day. Today it was Axel’s mother playing hostess, and the minute she saw him enter she trapped him in his second hug of the day. He felt Xion hide herself behind him.

Poor girl wasn’t expecting to meet the redhead’s over affectionate mother as well.

“Axel told me you weren’t feeling well. Poor thing… The two of you should see about getting a flu shot or something.” She pulled back, gently smoothing his hair. “He’s just as stubborn as you are. He refused to stay home and rest today.” Roxas smiled kindly. She was obviously unaware that Axel’s ailment was merely a hangover.

“I’ll see about that flu shot.” That was a lie. He hated needles. She didn’t look convinced.

“Well don’t overdo it. We like having you around here.” She gave him a stern look.

“Thank you, I like coming here.” His smile was big and genuine. This seemed to please her.

“I’ll tell Axel you’re here.” She blinked in surprise, finally noticing Xion, who hadn’t budged from her hiding place. “Oh! I’m sorry, I didn’t even see you!” She laughed, blushing in embarrassment.

“I make a good shadow.” Xion offered a coy little smile, causing the woman to laugh again.  

“I’ll get _two_ menus then.” She asserted, hustling off to dig up a second menu. They both took a seat in Roxas’ usual booth, Xion sitting across from Roxas.

“That was… Weird. Weird but nice.” Xion chewed on one of her fingernails. Namine had been trying to break her of that habit for years. Xion was too stubborn, though, and Roxas doubted she would ever stop.

“I come here a lot.” Roxas explained. “So often that now I’m on a first name basis with… Everyone pretty much.”

“That’s cute.” Xion commented. “So are you going to get me up to speed on what’s been going on with you or what? I haven’t seen you in weeks, and you _know_ I’m too awkward to make friends that aren’t you or Namine.” The blond laughed.

“Sorry, sorry. Boy trouble.” He smiled apologetically.

“Right, that’s what you needed me for.” She had a knowing smile on her face. “Boy trouble with Hayner or boy trouble with Axel?” She asked, mindlessly rearranging the napkin holder and salt and pepper shakers. She seemed more nervous than she thought she’d be

“Both, I guess? Mostly with Axel.” Roxas admitted quietly, causing Xion to stop fidgeting.

“Do tell, do tell.” She steepled her fingers, a look of profound interest on her face.

“Do you have all day?.” Xion laughed, but it was only a slight exaggeration. “I mean… My mom decided to ruin dinner by being rude about the potentially gay waiter, I… Got sick.” It was mostly true.

“Alright, alright. I won’t make you spill every detail. And then?” She was leaning forward, resting her chin on her hands.

“Then Axel just so happened to be one of the paramedics they called for me and he uh… Took me to the hospital where my mom came to further terrorize me.” He sounded more bitter than he had intended.

“Ouch.” She winced. “How’d you get out of that in one piece?”.

“I lied, how else. As far as they know I had appendicitis.” Hearing this made Xion snort.

“Good lie. Nothing short of appendicitis would have kept them at bay.” She smirked. Oh how she was all too familiar with Roxas’ parents. “So how are good old Mom and dad?” Roxas rolled his eyes.

“What, Namine didn’t tell you?” Xion merely shrugged. “They’re the worst.” He folded his arms with a huff. “I’ve been ignoring all of their calls, but it’s only a matter of time before they have the chance to confront me. Can’t ignore them forever. Not when we’re all going to Hayner’s rehearsal dinner this weekend.” Xion inhaled sharply.

“Yikes. Forgot about that. I’ll have to dress up.” She stuck out her tongue at the thought before waving her hand as if she were waving away the subject altogether. She had always spared him when it came to Hayner. She was thoughtful, that way.

“Anyway, after that I didn’t want anything to do with them so I went home with Axel.” He cleared his throat nervously.

“Went home with him as _went home_ with him?” He could barely hear her over the clatter of dishes and mingling voices. At least she was discreet. “Did you just stay over or did you…? You know…” Her face probably matched his, blushing a burning scarlet red.

“We… I mean um… Yeah.” He felt like he was on fire. “It was my idea and it was a stupid one…”

“Stupid how? Do you regret it?” She asked, ocean blue eyes fixed on him. Under that gaze he could never bring himself to lie.

“No… I don’t.” He admitted quietly. “I mean if I had a chance to do it over I might do it a little differently but… I don’t think I’d take it back or anything.”

Their quiet conversation was interrupted by Axel plopping down in the seat next to Roxas, causing him to tense. The fear that he had overheard them however quickly dissipated when the redhead started talking.

“The guy at table four is drunk already, can you believe it?” Axel shook his head in disapproval. Roxas let his body relax, he doubted the man would be acting this normal if he’d been eavesdropping. “I’m all for getting day drunk but geez.”. Xion was staring, but the redhead didn’t seem to notice. Either that or he was just being kind enough not to mention it.

Though he thought he had done a pretty good job describing Axel to his best friend, one really had to see him to believe him.

“Mom didn’t bring you anything to drink yet?” Axel raised a thin brow. “Hold on, I’ll get you something. Is water good?” His gaze settled on Xion, who nodded mutely. Just as quickly as he had arrived, he was gone.

“You didn’t tell me he was so tall.” Xion whispered, leaning over the table. “His hair is _really_ red… Does he dye it or…?”

“No, his sister’s hair is the same.” Roxas watched the redhead disappear behind the kitchen doors. “His brother, too…”

Reno made himself so scarce Roxas sometimes forgot he existed.

“Are you sure it’s okay that I’m here?” Xion gnawed at her bottom lip nervously. “Because I could leave if-” Roxas shook his head.

“No, if he didn’t like you, you’d know.” He didn’t even let her finish the thought. Her posture  immediately started to relax. From what he had seen, Axel wasn’t very good at hiding his disdain. “He’s probably trying to be a good host. Besides, I need you. I have no idea what I’m doing.” Xion merely gazed down at her lap.

“You’ve been seeing him for a pretty long time.” She said, staring down at her neatly folded hands. Her cheeks were pink. She was always willing to talk seriously about his relationships and naturally the trouble that followed, but no matter how understanding and good at listening she was, she had the tendency to get a little flustered.

“Hardly.” Roxas snorted. “I’ve only known him for six months, I don’t even know if we could really be considered dating or not. I don’t know _what_ we are, to be honest.” Xion looked back up at him and sighed.

“You’ve been going out with this guy for half a year now and you’re only just _now_ wondering what it means?” She shook her head, pulling apart a napkin with nimble fingers.

“I mean… Kind of. I don’t know if you could call it ‘going out’, necessarily.” He said, picking at a hangnail and avoiding his best friend’s gaze. Xion… Well, due to bits and pieces divulged to her by both he and Namine, she’d figured out pretty much everything.

“So going on dates, smooching, and…” She looked around to be sure no one would be able to hear her. The diner wasn’t very busy, so she continued. “ _Sleeping with_ each other doesn’t count as going out?”

Roxas felt a little foolish again. When she put it that way… He’d been dating someone for months without even realizing they were dating.

“Okay, okay, so I guess we’re sort of going out. No need to drag my sex life into it.” He added, lowering his voice.

“I don’t know Rox, maybe I’d let it go if it was just _once_ , but…” Roxas scrambled to stop her before she went on about it any more. He already felt like dying of embarrassment.

“Okay, okay, point taken. Can you just… Help me out here?” His pleading worked apparently, because Xion folded her hands with a sigh, pushing the pile of napkin scraps to the side.

“You’re just overcomplicating things again.” She looked exasperated. “You’re already pretty sure he has feelings for you, why don’t you just ask him to clarify.”

Bless her. How could she understand the magnitude of which Roxas didn’t want to do that.

“Absolutely not.” He said, his brows drawn together in a stern frown. “I have to be sure first before I say _anything_ about it to Axel.”

Xion rolled her eyes in response. She loved Roxas, he was her best friend, but she would never understand his line of thinking.

“What do you want me to do, start tagging along on your dates? Roxas you’ve been seeing each other for _months_.

Roxas either didn’t hear the last part or was electing to ignore it.

“That’s a great idea!” He exclaimed, but his friend was already shaking her head.

“Oh no. This is on you.” She pointed at him for added effect. “ _You_ need to figure this out, not me.” She leaned back in her seat, folding her arms. “Besides, it sounds like you already have it figured out, you’re just too scared to admit it.”

That was a little too on the nose.

“Dating or not, you like him. It’s been a long time since you liked somebody.” She continued, following his gaze and watching for any movement of the heavy kitchen doors. “Somebody that wasn’t Hayner, that is.”

She was right. He had had a crush on Hayner for a decent while, but before that nothing really stuck. His feelings would dissipate just as quickly as they appeared. He supposed he had been waiting for the same thing to happen with Axel, but so far they… Hadn’t.

The pesky crush had only gotten worse.

While he wasn’t sure what his feelings were now, he has to admit there _were_ feelings present.

“Yeah I… Like him a lot actually.” Saying it, he realized that it was true. It was the first time he’d really admit to it out loud.

“He seems to like you too.” She continued. “Don’t you think?” Roxas felt his face and neck grow hot.

“I mean… Yeah I think so.” He leaned closer to Xion, speaking in almost a whisper. “I think he almost uh… Confessed or something.”

“Almost?” His best friend cocked her head to the side. He rubbed the back of his neck as if somehow it would make it less red.

“Uh… Yeah. He said he wanted to level with me, but that he didn’t have the guts to say what he wanted to so it seems like… You know.” It was the most obvious conclusion to come to. “And when I was in the ER the nurse said some stuff… About the way he was acting and all.” Xion blinked, eyebrows raised in surprise.

“That’s good, though, right? You don’t have to worry about it being one-sided like…” She suddenly went silent, her hand flying up to cover her mouth. Like last time. Like with Hayner. That was what she was going to say. “I’m sorry… I didn’t mean… I wasn’t thinking.”

It didn’t hurt as much as it might have a few months ago. Xion’s brows were drawn together in distress, her face contorted in an almost pained look of contrition.

“Don’t worry about it. It’s… Yeah, it is good.” He nodded, reaching out to take the woman’s hand. “It’s alright… You don’t have to tiptoe around me. I think I’ve wizened up a little bit.”

The kitchen door swung open, and Axel returned to a table with two glasses of water.

“Damn, and here all _my_ friends do is pick on me.” The redhead clicked his tongue, sliding back into Roxas’ booth and sliding a glass to Xion. “Are you gonna’ introduce us or am I supposed to guess?” He elbowed the blond in the ribs.

“Knock it off, will you?” He griped, gently shoving Axel away. “This is Xion, she’s my best friend. She’s the one who gives the _good_ advice.”

“You have Namine.” Xion reminded him, her face darkening from pink to red. “Keeping you from going crazy is a joint effort.”

“Namine just likes telling me what to do.” He clarified. “She’s overprotective.” Axel snorted.

“I’ve noticed.” He said dryly.

“Namine doesn’t mean to go overboard, she just wants you to be happy.” Xion said, and he knew that much was true. She focused her gaze on Axel. “I’ve been friends with Roxas since preschool. I was shy, he offered to be my friend.” Her smile was soft and sweeter than every packet of sugar in the little container on the table. “He was my first friend.”

“What, Riku didn’t count?” Roxas teased. She send him a vicious looking scowl.

“ _No_ , he pulled my hair all the time. He was a pest.” She huffed, the exhalation disrupting the napkins she had been ripping to shreds. “He still is a pest.” She added under her breath.

“Grade school bullies. The most bullshit right of passage.”  The redhead smiled sympathetically.

“He picked on me all through elementary school.” She sighed, resting her elbow on the table.

“I was lucky enough to escape it until middle school. Usually ended in detention on my part.” He grinned wickedly. “It was always worth it.”

“If only you went to school with _us_.” Xion lamented. “Riku never did get the ass kicking he probably deserved.”

“He _still_ needs his ass kicked sometimes.” Roxas noted. Neither he nor Xion had ever really gotten along with the guy. Namine seemed to like him okay, but Namine, in his humble opinion, was even crazier than he was. “I don’t know how he and Sora are friends, they’re so competitive.”

“Ah, Sora’s your cousin right?” A spark of recognition flitted over Axel’s face.

“That’s right.” Turning to Xion, he explained. “Axel yelled at him over the phone once.”

“I can’t say I’m surprised but… Why?” Xion asked, hands folded neatly in front of her. Probably in an attempt to keep from being twitchy.

“Roxas got ditched at a party.” The redhead explained quite concisely with a shrug. “I was admittedly a little hard on the kid.”

“Of course.” She shook her head before staring at a spot on Axel’s arm of all things with the most unusual expression. “Not to be weird but… Is that a human bite mark on your arm?”

Axel looked down as if he had completely forgotten that there was a very noticeable red mark on his arm. One that, now that Roxas looked at it, did look a lot like a bite mark.

“Oh, yeah got that at work. Didn’t break the skin so with luck I won’t turn into a vampire.” The way he said it made it seem like it was a completely normal occurrence.

“You were bitten… At work?” Xion looked absolutely horrified.

“Why, may I ask, would that turn you into a vampire?” It was the first of many questions Roxas had.

“Because the guy was crazy high on PCP and was convinced he was a vampire, hence the bite.” He motioned to the mark on his arm. “I’m pretty sure he just thought he was a vampire because he was high, but he could have been a high vampire. You just never know.”

“Does this happen… Often? I’m just wondering because you’re being pretty blase about being bitten at _work_.” Xion was looking a bit pale, still focused on the redhead’s arm.

“I mean… I’m a paramedic. In my line of work you’re bound to run into trouble some time” He explained. “This isn’t the first time this has happened, but I can’t say it happens _often_.

“If you’re already a vampire and you haven’t told me…” Roxas pinned him with the most fearsome look he could manage.

“I’m not. Yet.” Axel seemed to think this was pretty funny. Roxas gave his arm a swat.

“What happened _last_ time?” Xion asked, her morbid curiosity getting the best of her.

“The lady was hammered and didn’t want to be looked over. That one broke the skin, had to get it flushed and everything.” Axel snorted, apparently not bothered by the memory. “I learned my lesson though. This time around I pulled away in time.”

“Gross.” The petite woman commented, scrunching up her nose. “Did that come with the job description or is it just a perk?” Axel had lifted his arm to examine it, and was also making a face.

“Nope, never knew what joys were in store for me until I got to experience it firsthand.” He poked at his wound and winced.

“You didn’t even bandage it?” Roxas took the redhead’s affected arm and examined it. “It’s pretty deep, even if it didn’t break the skin.”

“I’m fine.” Axel assured him. “It’s not that serious. I disinfected it so the worst thing that could happen is I _do_ become a vampire and you’ll only get to hang out with me after dark.”

“As exciting as that sounds I’m warning you now I’m not robbing any blood banks for you.” Roxas said, which made the redhead laugh. Even Xion seemed to be holding back a chuckle, her hand hovering over her mouth.

“You shouldn’t be so hard on him, turning into a vampire is probably traumatic.” Xion scolded, little giggles escaping in spite of her attempts to quell them. Roxas doubted anyone in their present company would mind, but Xion had always been the polite type.

“ _Someone_ gets it!” Axel exclaimed, both arms stretched out toward Xion in an overblown gesture. The blond groaned, burying his face in his hands, and his best friend finally cracked, lost in a fit of laughter.

“You’re not turning into a vampire, Axel.” Roxas replied blandly. “You might have rabies or something, but until you actually can’t see yourself in a mirror you’re not a vampire.”

“I think rabies would be worse than vampirism, Roxas.” Xion pointed out.

Xion was supposed to always take his side, damn it..

He was glad they got along so effortlessly, though. He’d never imagined that they _wouldn’t_ , but Xion had been so nervous…

“Don’t feed into his delusions, Xi.” Roxas rolled his eyes. “I’m starting to think I shouldn’t have introduced you… Don’t you drag my best friend into your shenanigans.” He gave Axel’s side a sharp poke. The redhead snickered, ultimately unphased.

“You met my best friends, it’s only fair I get to meet yours.” Axel pursed his lips. “Most of them were dicks to you, but you met them.”

“What? When? You didn’t introduce me to anyone.” He folded his arms and struggled to remember, but he was coming up blank.  
  
“Okay, fair enough.” Axel assented. “You met Larxene by accident… And Demyx… And Saix...”

“Saix?” That name didn’t sound familiar at all.

“You didn’t have to deal with him for long, he kindly fucked off so you could come down from your… ‘Appendicitis’-” Axel used finger quotes for emphasis. “In peace.”

“Ah.” Roxas nodded. “Right, the other paramedic, the one who was giving you a hard time.” He remembered, albeit barely.

“He’s always giving me a hard time.” The redhead grumbled. “Anyway, Saix isn’t the point, the point is you met my friends, by accident, but you met them.”

“You met Hayner and Pence.” Roxas reminded him.

“I met Hayner.” Axel corrected. “I already knew Pence. Sort of. It’s about time one of your friends actually _liked_ me.”

“Oh come on, Pence likes you.” Sure, Pence liked pretty much everyone, but that wasn’t the point. “Besides, it seems like all of your friends have something against me.”

“That’s not true.” Axel disagreed. “Demyx likes you.”

He did have a point, Demyx _had_ been pretty friendly in spite of the circumstances.

“Okay, fair enough.” Roxas relented. “ _One_ of your friends likes me.”

“Give Larxene time, she’ll warm up to you.” The redhead assured him, though he found that suspect. Xion snickered audibly.

“Sorry to interrupt your debate, but I have to be on my way. I have to make a living too.” She informed them, the smile on her face one of endearment. “Oh, Roxas, I won’t be able hit the beach with you after all, I have to…”

It looked like she was trying to think up a good lie.

“I have to babysit. Tifa’s normal sitter canceled. Maybe Axel can go with you instead. The sunset’s supposed to be really good today.” As she slid from the booth, she added, “Roxas has _two_ friends who like you, Axel. Better catch up.”

Axel watched her leave, eyes following her out the door.

“I like her.” He concluded. Roxas snorted. .

“You’d better like her, I’m sure she went to a lot of trouble thinking up that lie.” He tipped to the side, leaning against the taller man. “When do you get off work today?” He could feel the redhead wind an arm around him, resting it on his shoulders.

“Late.” He answered with a sigh. “But far be it from me to miss a good sunset. I can bribe my brother to take over for me.”

“Want to do something?” He asked, resting his cheek on Axel’s shoulder. There was something about being held like this that made his insides fizzle like they were filled with pop rocks.

“Do something as in _date_ do something or…?” There was something about the tone of Axel’s voice that made him sound unsure. Roxas snorted.

“ _Yeah_ , like a date.” He didn’t blame Axel for being confused. He definitely hadn’t made things easy. “Wanna’ grab something to eat and hit the beach? Xion takes her sunsets very seriously, she’s definitely not lying about that.”

“I could probably get out at five and pick you up around six… You’re usually off work by then right?” The redhead’s smile was contagious. It made his chest hurt. He pulled the man down by the shirt of his collar, connecting their lips in a brief but satisfying kiss.

“Sounds great.” He surged his body upward to kiss Axel again, though this time it seemed a lot harder to pull away. He could feel corners of Axel’s lips being pulled upward, and he pulled back wearing a dreamy smile.

“See you at six, then.” He murmured, pressing his lips to Roxas’ brow before retreating to the kitchen.

Roxas did _not_ want to go back to work.

He didn’t have much of a choice however, taking time off twice in one week would not look good.

Once he was back in his dull little cubicle again he pinned his eyes to the wall clock, watching the ticking hands as if it would somehow make time move faster.

He wasn’t sure if staring into space had helped or if he’d ended up falling asleep with his eyes open, because the next thing he knew it was a little after five and Aqua was telling him he could head home

He didn’t stop to ask questions, gathering up his things and rushing to find where he’d parked his car. Thankfully the drive from work to his apartment didn’t take very long and he’d arrived home before five thirty.

This gave him ample time to stress over what to wear.

For all that they’d been through, this was only their second real date. _Maybe_ third, if he counted Axel offering to help him with midterms as that had sounded suspiciously like being asked out, but even counting that they had only gone out twice.

Regardless, he wanted to look nice. Casual, but nice. He traded his work khakis for a pair of washed out jeans and his button up work shirt for a nice faded blue tee shirt.

Looking in the mirror, he struggled to gain control of his hair, lamenting over the fact that he hadn’t had the time to shower.

He would never admit to pacing the house for the next fifteen minutes waiting for his buzzer to ring, nor would he admit to nearly panicking when the clocked ticked one minute past six.

When the buzzer did finally, well, buzz,  he damn near jumped out of his skin before tearing through the living room to get the door.

“You look winded. Am I interrupting something?” Axel wore a cheeky grin and an eye gougingly orange scarf over the same plain tee and jeans he’d been wearing earlier.

“You look like you just escaped from the circus.” Roxas said, digging through one of his jacket pockets for his wallet and keys.

“Gee, thanks.” The redhead snorted.

“Anytime.” He shoved his wallet in the back pocket of his jeans before winding his arms around Axel’s neck. “Circus freak is a good look for you.” He murmured, toying with the fine hairs on the back of the man’s neck.

Axel either couldn’t think of a response or feel the need to, instead closing the gap between them and kissing Roxas breathless. The blond moved his arms so he could touch the taller man’s face with trembling hands.

They hadn’t kissed like this in what felt like forever, though it had really been a few days.

Reluctantly, he had to pull back, his lungs and face both on fire.

“Later.” He gasped. “We can do this later…” Axel nodded.

“Right. Later.” He agreed, taking the blond’s hand and clasping their fingers together. “Where do you want to go?”

It felt a little unfair that he was expected to think after that.

“Instead of having dinner, maybe we could eat junk food on the boardwalk. They sell all sorts of things, even my sister sometimes sets up a stall there.” He was never fond of fancy dates. In truth, he just wanted to be able to hang out with Axel normally with no untimely interruptions.

“Sounds good. I’d kill for a soft pretzel right about now.” The redhead slung an arm around Roxas’ shoulder, leading him out into the slightly chilled evening air. The car ride to the beach was short and quiet. Once they were on the dock looking over soft white sand Axel seemed to find his voice.

“I can almost never find the time to come here.” He commented, watching the tide gently pull away seaweed and little scrambling crabs. “I used to come here a lot as a kid. My little sister loved finding seashells. I was more into chasing seagulls.” Roxas snorted.

“So you haven’t been here since you were, what, five?” He intertwined his fingers with Axel’s, trying to make the gesture seem as casual as he possibly could. Axel didn’t have to know that his heart was in his throat.

“You underestimate how fun it is to chase seagulls.” The redhead responded. It wasn’t very busy, perhaps due to the time of day, but that was just fine with Roxas.

“I can’t believe there’s a market for clamshells with googly eyes.” Axel pointed to a booth selling bizarre seashell based trinkets. Roxas shrugged.

“Who knows, maybe there’s a nautical themed bathroom out there that could use one of those.” Though he thought it would be pretty creepy to have a googly eyed clam watching him in the bathroom of all places.

“I’ll just take your word for that.” The redhead replied, already examining the contents of the next booth. This one contained ships in bottles, which were much nicer to look at.

Roxas let Axel do most of the perusing. It seemed much more novel to him. Besides, the redhead’s chatter was much more interesting than oddly large sand dollars and lamps made from conch shells.

“My brother was always a real asshole whenever we went anywhere fun.” Axel said, kindly walking slowly to accommodate the blonde’s much shorter lets. “Kairi was crazy scared of crabs when she was little. Reminded her too much of spiders. Anyway, my brother always collected a metric fuck ton of them in those stupid plastic buckets to chase her around with.”

The mental image made Roxas laugh in spite of himself.

“Have you always been this cranky when it comes to your brother?” It was an honest question. Axel shrugged.

“Probably not _always_. There’s a bigger age difference between him and I than with me and Kairi so it’s not like we ever had much in common.” He explained. Roxas hummed in response.

“I always wanted a brother.” He commented. “Namine was great and all, but we liked different things. I was never a huge fan of dress-up.” He smiled wryly. “Couldn’t really get out of it though since my best friend is also a girl.”

His parents would probably blame the lack of male influence in his life for, well…

“I played more with Kairi than I did Reno anyway. She had a pretty good doll soap opera going.” He grinned, big and goofy. “Lots of drama and intrigue. We compromised though, she made a pretty good pirate.”

It wasn’t hard to imagine. Kairi seemed tough. Tough like Xion could be when she was really heated about something.

“What made you go from pirate to paramedic?” He asked, pausing to slip his shoes off. They had successfully walked the entire boardwalk, now treading through flour fine sand. Axel had a thoughtful look on his face.

“Well… Being a pirate probably wouldn’t be practical in this day and age.” He began, causing Roxas to chuckle. “I’m pretty smart when it comes to medical jargon, and I’ve never been squeamish. I guess I’m just pretty good at stalling death long enough to get the poor suckers from point A to point B.”

Roxas frowned.

“Stalling death sounds stressful.” He remarked. Everything he knew about emergency medicine he’d seen on TV, and though he was aware it wasn’t completely accurate, he was also aware that he wanted absolutely nothing to do with it.

“Adrenaline helps.” Axel answered easily. “I mean, I can’t always prevent people from croaking.” He frowned. “That makes for a shitty time. But when I’m _successful_ in keeping someone alive… That makes it worth it, at least a little.”

Roxas still couldn’t possibly imagine the stress of being responsible for a person’s life, but then he supposed there was something for everyone. He had chosen law because of his stubbornness and what he considered a strong sense of justice. Similar in a way, but still very different.

“Geez. Now I’m even more glad it was you who showed up when my parents sent me off the deep end.” He gave Axel a gentle nudge. Though that had been sort of a cluster fuck, it turned out alright.

He’d been able to successfully avoid his parents and the sex was also a plus. Axel rolled his eyes.

“I don’t know if I’m _that_ good at my job. If you were bleeding out or something it probably would have been different.”

If the nice nurse was telling the truth and the redhead _had_ been that jumpy over a simple panic attack… Roxas imagined it probably would have been a lot different had he been exsanguinating.

Even so, he probably still would have wanted Axel instead of another, albeit less personally involved, paramedic. It seemed a little silly and definitely defied common sense, but common sense really didn’t factor in a lot of the decisions he’d been making recently.

Maybe that was why he removed his hand from Axel’s and buried it in his hair, standing on his tiptoes to crush their lips together.

The redhead was kind enough to lean down so he didn’t have to keep standing on his tip toes. Not a lot of thought really went into that kiss, which would have usually been way too hot and heavy for Roxas to consider in public, but the sun was going down and people were vacating the beach so he deemed it acceptable enough.

There was a lot of tongue and a lot of raking fingers through cherry red hair, and the blonde couldn’t find it in him to protest Axel’s hands resting dangerously low on his back.

It was a lot faster and a lot more desperate than usual, because they did actually kiss pretty frequently, but he just couldn’t let up on the bruising force

Eventually he had to breathe, as humans typically do, but he didn’t release his grip on Axel.

“That wasn’t much of a date…” He smiled apologetically. “We never even got you that pretzel.”

The redhead blinked, uncomprehending for a moment, before apparently remembering that he had indeed been hungry.

“Don’t worry about it.” He replied simply, apparently more interesting in resuming their kiss than worrying about food. Roxas pulled away, laughing in spite of himself. At least he wasn’t the only one who was having trouble controlling his libido.

“I don’t know about you, Axel, but I haven’t eaten since noon.” He raised an eyebrow, twining strands of red around his fingers. “Would you like to come back to my place? We could order a pizza…” 

Axel didn’t even stop to think the offer over.

“I’d love to.”

* * *

The next chapter is actually almost done, and those of you who predicted the shit hitting the fan... You were onto something. As always, thank you for being wonderful and feel free to let me know what you think. You already know how much I adore hearing from you. Also no offense to Riku, I like him fine but have you _seen_ him in KH1? He was so a bully.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m back folks. It only took a week this time, please be proud of me. Also I don’t know why I keep warning you, you’re big kids, but this chapter is naughty up until about the halfway point so keep that in mind. This is dedicated to everyone spending the holidays with a family in deep denial. No thanks Grandma, I don’t want to date the guy who mows your lawn. No grandma, I won’t be bringing a boy to dinner; now or ever.

By the time they reached Roxas’ apartment, their pizza plans were entirely forgotten. This was most definitely in part due to Roxas’ very distracting hand resting on Axel’s thigh the whole ride there.

Roxas fumbled with his keys while the redhead’s exploring hands crept up his shirt, his hot mouth latched to his neck.

The minute they were inside and the door was locked, the blonde’s hand met Axel’s collarbone, shoving him hard against the wall of the entryway. 

There was no telling who moved first after that, Roxas pulling Axel down by the back of his neck and Axel pulling Roxas closer with a hand to the small of his back. 

In what felt like mere seconds their bodies were pressed together and their hands were moving. This time around there seemed to be a lot more groping, the hands on Roxas’ ass the answer to the hands that were ghosting over Axel’s stomach. 

On the way to the bedroom they left a trail of clothing in their wake. 

They practically tumbled onto the bed, too busy to actually watch where they were going and unwilling to stop touching each other long enough to catch themselves. Axel’s hands were warm and his kisses were to die for. In fact, Roxas didn’t know how he ever managed without them. 

Much to his displeasure, the redhead pulled back, face pink and panting for air. 

“If you’re going to ask if I’m sure, the answer is yes so if you don’t start kissing me again right now so help me  _ god _ .” He sent Axel the most fearsome glare he could manage. That was fine the first time… Hell, it was more than fine. In terms of first-times it was perfectly appropriate.

But they were both hard and stripped down to their boxers now, and this  _ wasn’t _ his first time doing this with Axel.

It was his second.

The redhead cracked a smile, both alluring and adorable.

“Ah… Guess it’s a little late for that huh?” He laughed, and Roxas had to kiss the smile off his face.

“Mhm. A little.” He traced the redhead’s clavicle with his pointer finger, trailing it down his chest. He couldn’t help but wonder if he would have been so confused about his feelings if they’d done this earlier.

Probably even more confused, now that he thought of it, but this view was still a very nice one. 

“You’re not nervous?” Axel was kind enough to multitask while he spoke, trailing warm wet kisses down his neck and along the curve of his shoulder. Roxas tangled his fingers in his lover’s hair, feeling his breath hitch.

“W-we’ve done this before.” He answered, his voice coming out a lot weaker than he would have liked. “I don’t have to worry about being rusty or bad…” He could hear Axel laugh. He pulled back, crawling back up to meet Roxas’ lips. 

“Of course you don’t, you didn’t have to the first time either.” He rolled green, green eyes. 

“It had been a while.” The blonde replied defensively, running his fingers through strands of bright red. “I was self conscious.” 

He had never really been that confident in himself when it came to sex in the first place. Axel sighed.

“Fair enough.” He relented. “You do know I’m sleeping with you because I like you, right?” Roxas struggled to gulp down the lump in his throat, and could only nod in reply. “Good. Because while I’m a very big fan of sex, I’m also a pretty big fan of  _ you _ .”

It was only when his lungs ached that Roxas realized he’d been holding his breath.

“I know.” He breathed, struggling to categorize his thoughts. “And I told you last time I wouldn’t be doing this if it wasn’t you so-” 

His lips were occupied before he could finish his thought. He felt himself sigh into the kiss, enjoying the feeling of Axel’s tongue exploring his mouth with full knowledge that by the end of this he’d be covered in kiss marks. 

“Shit…” The redhead mumbled, pulling back only a millimeter or two. “I didn’t bring any condoms or anything.” He smiled sheepishly. “I didn’t really think we’d… You know.” Roxas frowned. 

“What, did you think I’d just never want to sleep with you again?” He was exaggerating, but Axel merely shrugged. Now it was Roxas who was rolling his eyes. 

“Was I not making it clear that I was enjoying myself?” He brushed against the redhead’s clothed arousal with his knee. He found this incredibly silly, because as he remembered it he had been  _ very  _ vocal.   


“Well… No… I mean yes, but…” Axel was fumbling with his words which was extremely cute, though Roxas did feel a little bad that he’d thought last time would be the  _ only _ time. They really needed to put a label on what they had so this sort of thing stopped happening.

“Because  _ I _ seem to remember saying your name over and over…” Axel groaned, burying his face in the crook of Roxas’ neck. He sighed, winding his arms around the redhead’s shoulders. “I have condoms and lube, geez.” 

He couldn’t tell which of them was more insecure. He supposed they probably tied, they were just unsure about different things.

“And before you say anything, they're not expired or old. I bought them on the way home from work today.” The redhead pulled back, looking just the slightest bit confused. “The last time I dated someone was forever ago and I thought I should be prepared in case we were here instead of at your place.” He explained, feeling his face begin to burn. “I mean we’re… Going out. I sort of expected this to be a fairly common occurrence.

Axel nodded silently, apparently at a loss for words. Roxas cupped his cheek.

“They’re in the drawer, in the bedside table.” He kissed his lover’s jaw… Because that’s what they were, after all. Maybe not officially boyfriends yet, but probably lovers. Then he kissed the corner of his mouth. “I wish you’d stop staring and kiss me.”

Axel’s mouth was immediately on his again, kissing him ravenously with a lot of tongue and even a little teeth. It was perfect.

The kissing didn’t stop after that, not even when long fingers gripped the waistband of his boxers and tugged. He arched his back so the article of clothing could be removed a little easier.

Roxas definitely didn’t want to be the only one without clothes on, and so his primary objective became relieving the redhead of his boxers without putting an end to the kissing.

A feat to be sure, but with enough determination it was managed easily enough. He could feel warm hands caressing his inner thigh, and felt his heart try jumping out of his chest. 

Axel pulled away from the kiss, watching him with venomously green eyes, looking at him as if he was something really special. Roxas took the exploring hand in his and brought it to his lips. 

“Drawer.” He reminded him, still keeping hold of the redhead’s hand. 

“Right.” Axel stretched his arm to fumble around in the drawer of the bedside table. Eventually he returned triumphant, pulled in for one more long kiss. Roxas sighed.

“As much as I’d love to keep kissing you, you’re kind of driving me crazy right now.” This made Axel crack a wide smile. He ran his hand down Roxas’ thigh again, causing him to whimper in spite of himself.

“Good crazy?” The look on his face said he already knew. 

“Axel.” Roxas’ words came out in a whine. The taller man was kind enough not to keep him waiting, latching his mouth to the blonde’s neck and allowing his hand to keep traveling downward. 

Gentle fingers prodded his entrance, and Roxas tried to focus on the feeling of Axel’s mouth on his skin. The redhead was trailing kisses down his chest and along his abdomen, causing him to bite his lip with bruising force to keep from making noise.

That didn’t do a damn bit of good when that hot mouth enveloped his cock. His brain was mush, he couldn’t focus on anything, not keeping quiet, not the feeling of Axel’s fingers, not how hard he was tugging the man’s hair.

Because god did Axel know what he was doing. That sinful tongue of his along with the heat and suction of his mouth… Roxas had to physically pull him away to keep from coming, because he wanted to wait, god damn it.

He couldn’t form the correct words to explain, but the redhead seemed to understand, instead placing soft kisses to his hip bones. 

“It’s fine.” Roxas gasped when he finally found his voice. “I’m fine, really just…” He stretched his arms out, beckoning Axel to come closer.    


“You sure?” He had a skeptical look on his face. 

“We did this, what, two days ago?” Axel nodded. “Then I’m fine, now come here.” 

It was almost comical how fast the man was able to get the condom on, but Roxas had no complaints. He was getting impatient anyway. 

Soon they were kissing again, and he was finally able to wrap his arms around the redhead. 

He thought they fit together quite nicely.

This time it was a lot easier to get used to the feeling of having Axel inside him, though the hand wrapped loosely around his cock did help. Really, Axel was probably one of, if not the most considerate lover he’d ever had. 

He wasn't sure if that said more about Axel or more of his past boyfriends.

“Sh-shit Axel…” He hooked his legs around the man’s waist, gripping him with trembling hands. “I’m good… I’m good j-just move already.” 

Axel met his eyes and nodded wordlessly. Roxas felt his entire body sizzle, rocking with his lover’s gentle thrusts. 

“Yes… Fuck yes Axel.” He clung to the redhead as if his life depended on it. “ _ Mm _ … Harder, shit… H-harder.”

He was starting to think this was going to be the best sex he’d ever had, and though the judgment was a bit premature as it was still happening, he thought it was pretty accurate. 

Every so often a perfectly angled thrust would nail the bundle of nerves that made him see stars, and soon he wasn’t able to think coherently at all anymore. 

“K-kiss me…” He managed between moans. “Oh god- kiss me, Axel.” And when Axel obeyed he was certain of it. This was definitely the best sex he’d ever had. 

When he came, his voice was muffled by the redhead’s mouth. Frantic hands explored the man’s chest and shoulders until he too tensed, his groan swallowed by the still trembling blonde.

For the first time it occurred to Roxas…

_ ‘I am in so much trouble.’ _

It took probably a good ten minutes before either of them could speak.

“So… You planned this, even before our date?” Axel was grinning goofily, fingers tenderly brushing away the sweaty bangs plastered to Roxas’ forehead. He sighed contentedly, head pillowed against the redhead’s shoulder.

“Yeah, I guess.” He answered honestly. “I mean I wasn’t specifically planning to do this today but I thought I should probably be prepared.” He pressed his palm to Axel’s chest. It almost made him giddy, that the redhead’s heart was beating this fast because of  _ him _ .

This feeling… He didn’t want to jinx it. He refused to let himself even  _ think  _ it. It shouldn’t be  _ that  _ hard to ignore.

“I thought we might be, y’know,  making love in the near future so…” Well shit. He immediately fell silent, fighting the urge to cover his mouth. 

As if somehow he could stuff the words back in.

Sure, the context kept it from being as heavy as it could have been, but he didn’t want everything to fall apart all due to semantics.

He wasn’t supposed to say it, he wasn’t supposed to let himself even  _ consider _ it, because if he acknowledged it it would all fall apart. It always did. His luck always changed for the worse once he let himself get really truly serious.

“I mean since we’re kind of going out and all, I just thought it was a possibility that we’d have sex again.” He hoped that if he kept talking Axel wouldn’t notice that he’d accidentally invoked the ‘L’ word already.

“I’m not teasing you. You just seem so…” He pursed his lips, searching for the least offensive way to put it. “Uh… Chaste I guess?” He frowned. “Maybe that’s not it. Sounds too old timey.”

“I like sex just as much as the next person.” Roxas retorted. “It’d just been a while, I was nervous. You seemed like you knew what you were doing and I didn’t want you to think I was bad.” It made sense to him at least. “And when you _ didn’t  _ think I was terrible at it, I figured it’d be fine if we… Kept doing it.” Axel snorted.

“It’s  _ more _ than fine.” He pressed his lips to Roxas’ temple. 

He didn’t think he could possibly feel any happier. In fact, he was very close to falling asleep like this.

“I have to go to work later tonight.” The redhead quietly informed him, his chin resting on a nest of messy blonde hair. “I wanted you to know so you won’t think I bailed or anything.” 

Roxas didn’t much like the idea of waking up after this alone.

“Fine.” He sighed. “I can’t hog you. There are probably other closeted kids who need you to rescue them from bathrooms.” Axel laughed.

“That’s a pretty specific situation. I think that’s only happened to you, Rox.” He leaned down give the blonde a peck on the lips.

It made his chest hurt.

“Just promise not to start dating any other closeted basket cases, I just might get jealous.” Roxas wasn’t sure if he was even joking at this point.

“I’ve already got my heart set on one closeted basket case already.” Axel simply replied. That was all he needed to hear.

It was enough to making waking up without Axel seem less lonely.

The next few days went by far too quickly and soon Roxas found himself staring daggers at the miniature calendar pinned to the wall of his cubicle. Today was Hayner’s wedding rehearsal which… He was really not looking forward to. It was bad enough that his friend had invited everyone in town, but that everyone included his parents. He didn't know how long he’d be able to avoid the inevitable. 

Not with how this week had been going.

As straight as his parents foolishly thought he was, he had been doing some particularly not-straight things this week. 

His lunches with Axel had all ended with the two of them heavily making out, usually in or on route to Roxas’ car. Then he would go back work flushed and covered in new hickeys. He self consciously adjusted his collar at the thought.

The redhead had been particularly attentive in that department when they had lunch together today.

They didn't do much eating.

Roxas had had half a mind to fake sick so he could drag Axel back to his apartment.

They had gotten in the habit of meeting up, having a bite to eat, and spending the night together. This all started… Wednesday? Then they’d slept together again last night… Looking back, Roxas thought he probably shouldn’t have given into his urges, very frequent urges at that, when he had a very imminent meeting with his parents.

He by no means felt any regret at all, but it was getting too warm outside for him to wear turtlenecks and scarves anymore. The hickies… They were a problem. He probably wouldn’t make them stop any time soon, but they were still going to be a problem.

Regardless of that bump in the road, he was perfectly content with how things had been going this week… Well, almost perfectly content.

He had a theory that he aimed to either prove or disprove. There was something… Or perhaps some _ things, _ plural, that the redhead wasn’t telling him. though what those feelings might be he wasn’t at liberty to guess, he felt it was only right that he took the time to figure out just exactly what he felt.. 

Perhaps that was why he was getting so much better at noticing the little things. Like how he could always feel Axel smile when they kissed, or how warm his hands were, cupping his cheek or resting on the small of his back.

More alarming still were the feelings  _ he’d _ started noticing crop up every now and again.

He looked at the clock and felt a tick of irritation. Time seemed to be moving slower lately, that was until. Today had passed by far too fast, mostly in part of Hayner’s wedding rehearsal.

And after this wedding he'd have to address the elephant in the room. He was pretty sure of Axel's feelings, and he was starting to understand his own. It was probably about time they had a talk about the nature of their relationship.

Frankly, they were pretty much already dating, and they seemed to be exclusively dating and having sex with each other. Roxas thought so, at least. But then that was why they should probably still talk about it, just because it was exclusive on his side didn't necessarily mean it was on Axel's.

It was unlikely that it  _ wasn't _ with the way he acted, but still…

He watched the second hand slowly tick its way around the clock face. Freedom was so close he could taste it. 

The minute the hour hand hit 12 he was shouldering his work bag and speed walking to the door. It was 5:00 PM and he was finally free to clock out. 

He pulled his phone from his pocket and scrolled through his text messages. It was the usual, Namine and Xion texting when they’d meet him, his mother telling him how to dress… Everything he expected really. For some reason he felt compelled to give Axel a call as he glared at a light that had been red for far longer than it ought to.

“They let you loose already?” Axel sounded groggy, but he was in good spirits.

“They ran out of things to make me sort.” He felt invisible strings tugging at the corners of his mouth. “Did I wake you?”

“Only from a cat nap. They landed me with the worst shift tonight, six to six.” He yawned. “Is tonight that wedding… Thing?” Roxas snorted.

“Rehearsal, yeah. I don’t know enough about weddings to know  _ why _ there needs to be rehearsal, but I’m required to go.” He rolled his eyes. The whole thing seemed like a waste of money to him. On TV weddings looked pretty straightforward. “On the bright side, my sister and Xion will be there. That sort of balances out my parents.” Axel made a noise of what sounded like disgust in the back of his throat.

“Yikes.” He said, which made Roxas laugh. That summed it up pretty well. 

“Very. Now that my friends are getting married they’re  _ really _ going to be trying to hook me up with their coworkers kids.” He was glad he could laugh about it now, because it would be really awkward later when it was actually happening.

“Don't worry, if you really wanted to you could keep me as your mistress.” It was a joke, but it was an option if he wanted to never, ever, ever tell anyone the truth. 

“It’s an option, but to be honest the closet’s starting to feel a little cramped.” He could hear Axel chuckle. “Too bad you have to work. Bringing you with me would be way easier than actually explaining myself.”

He was only half-kidding.

“I don’t know. My absence is probably for the best. Last time I saw your parents, your mom had a few choice words for me.” At least Axel didn’t seem to have any hard feelings. He still sounded pretty chipper. “I’ll keep my phone on though in case they drive you so crazy you take a cocktail fork to your eye.”

“Don’t give me any ideas.” He warned, flicking on his blinker and waiting for a big enough gap in traffic to merge. 

“In all seriousness though, if you call me I’ll pick up. Unless I’m doing something crazy like intubating-” He must have realized Roxas had no idea what any of his medical mumbo jumbo meant, because he revised his statement. “Like putting a tube in someone’s throat.”

“I’ll forgive you for not answering, just please wait until I’m out of law school before you get a malpractice suit on your hands.” For some reason there was something overwhelmingly funny about the thought of having to represent Axel in court. “If it’s really bad I’ll just loiter in the ER. You’re popular there.” Axel scoffed.

“Right. In all seriousness, call me. I’ll at least call you back.”

“I know you will.” Axel was something else altogether, but he was nothing if not reliable. “I’ll talk to you later. Don’t let anyone bite you this time.”

The redhead was still laughing when he hung up. 

When he returned home he was surprised to find that Namine had apparently used the spare key, as she was sitting daintily on his couch when he walked in the door. Xion was hovering near the armchair.

“You look worse than I thought.” She commented.

“Thanks, Namine, you too.” He replied blandly, shrugging off his coat. 

“I went to the liberty of digging out what looked like your nicest suit. Hurry and get dressed.” The petite blonde stood, her heels clicking on his hardwood floor.

The suit was easy enough to manage. The tie, however...

“Would you hold still for just a minute?” Namine snapped, struggling to help her brother with his bowtie and successfully choking him in the process. “If you keep squirming it’s going to end up all crooked.” With a sigh, Roxas complied, standing stiff as a board so his little sister’s dextrous fingers could successfully tie his bowtie. 

“You should be thankful this is a suit and tie.” His sister commented. “It looks like you got mugged and the only part they beat the shit out of was your neck.” 

“Shut up!” The blonde cried, pulling away only to be tugged right back.

“If you don’t stop moving we’ll be here all night.” She sang.

If he ever got married he was using a  _ regular _ tie.

“It looks good on you.” Xion commented, an apologetic smile gracing her features. 

“Thanks. It’s really making me feel grateful I don’t have to dress like this all the time.” His collar received a sharp yank from Namine, which he ignored. “What do you think about a luau style wedding? The dress code could be hawaiian shirts, no suits or ties involved.”

Xion giggled, while Namine rolled her eyes in response. 

“If you do that, Roxas, I’m hijacking your wedding.” She warned him. “No one should have to look back on their wedding day and see hawaiian shirts.”

“What if my husband has his heart set on hawaiian shirts?” He received another yank.

“Then he and I are going to have to compromise on something less hideous.” She replied simply. “I’d rather you join a nudist colony and get married in the buff.”

“I wouldn’t.” Xion piped in. “I’d wear anything for your wedding, Roxas, but no way in hell would I wear  _ nothing _ .”

“I’m not even the one who brought up getting married naked!” He cried, feeling rather exasperated. 

“There.” Namine stepped back, admiring her hard work. “You look very handsome.”

That at least he could be fairly sure of. Namine wouldn’t let him out in public if she didn’t think he was dressed properly.

Tonight was one Roxas had been dreading. Tonight he would have to power through not only a wedding rehearsal, but the rehearsal dinner that followed. Hayner and Olette had pretty much invited the whole town, and Roxas was terrible with crowds. Worse yet, he’d be seeing his parents for the first time since the Emergency Room ordeal. On the bright side, at least his sister and best friend would be there to ground him. 

Namine was dressed in a pale blue off the shoulder party dress, the color making her kohl rimmed eyes pop. Xion was dressed in shimmery purple, and had elected to skip the makeup. Both, in his opinion, looked very pretty. They were made up and dressed to perfection. 

Roxas, on the other hand, couldn’t get his unruly hair in line for the life of him. Eventually he gave up and let it do what it wanted. 

“What do people even do at these things, anyway?” He groused, following his sister and Xion out to Namine’s car.

“They practice sitting where they’re supposed to and walking how they’re supposed to and then they eat.” She answered matter of factly, leaving his apartment and carefully making her way down the staircase in her shiny matching blue heels. Roxas would never know how she could walk so effortlessly in those.

“I guess…” He relented. “I haven’t been to church since like… Middle school.” Namine snorted.

“Oh hush, you’ll be fine. You’re not going to burst into flame or anything.” This was meant to be reassuring, but at this point Roxas wasn’t convinced. Not after the week he’d had.

It certainly didn’t help his case that he’d spent nearly every day the week prior canoodling with Axel. 

“You don’t know that.” He objected, following his twin out to where her car was parked along the curb. They had decided they might as well ride together, to save the planet and all. Definitely not because Roxas was terrified of going alone. Certainly not. Namine unlocked the door and climbed in the driver’s seat, turning to give her brother a look.

“Just call it a hunch.”

“I don’t know, maybe if you act like you’re allergic they won’t make you stay.” Xion suggested, getting a sharp nudge from Namine.

“Don’t even. He might just do it.” 

Roxas had thought they had left fairly early, but by the time they’d arrived it seemed like everyone was already there. He was immediately trapped in a rib crushing hug by Olette, who was getting in the wedding spirit dressed in white. 

He always wondered how no one realized he was gay when all of his friends were attractive young women. Maybe they just mistakenly thought he was a ladies man.

“Thank you so much for all your help Roxas.” She was smiling the biggest, most elated smile. “When you get married you can count on me to return the favor.”

He believed her.

Amazingly enough, the only people who didn’t come to greet him were his parents. Instead they were arguing quietly in the pews. As everyone took their places, Roxas noticed that the priest looked like he was old enough to have seen the black plague. 

He stood awkwardly next to Hayner, Pence, and the officiant as old as time itself, and there he stood until the mock ceremony was over. 

He walked out with Olette’s friend Selphie, who was nice enough. He supposed he could have been stuck with someone worse. When the real wedding happened, however, there was no way he’d be doing any dancing.

The rehearsal dinner was at a chic, fairly pricey restaurant. Hayner’s family had always been pretty well off. Olette, being the angel that she was, wasn’t enforcing a seating chart, and he was free to sit next to Xion, who looked like she felt just as out of place. 

Unfortunately his mother was able to snag the seat on his other side before Namine could.

She was off being social no doubt.

“You look like you’re feeling better.” She commented, her tone spiteful in an almost venomous sort of way.

“Yeah I really rested up this week so…” He wished he had asked Axel how long it usually took to recover from appendicitis. He could put together a wonderful argument, but he knew nothing about medicine. 

It didn’t look like she believed him for one second. His father just had his head in his hands, which usually meant he was expecting an argument.

“I’m your mother, Roxas. Why would you lie to me?” She sounded more angry than hurt. 

“I didn’t think you’d be as nice about the whole emergency room thing if-” 

“Not about that.” She snapped, interrupting him altogether. Now he was completely lost, his only clue was Namine’s eyes, wide as saucers. 

“Mom.” She interjected, her voice so stern it cut through the chatter like a hot knife through butter. “Not here.”

“Don’t you start, young lady, you  _ knew  _ and you didn’t make a single attempt to stop his dangerous behavior.” Her gaze was so intense Roxas was surprised it hadn’t caught anything ablaze. 

“Of course I knew!” Namine hissed. “Anyone with a brain probably knows, but don’t do this here.”

Roxas had the sudden urge to flee immediately. 

“Mom, I don’t know what this is about but maybe we can talk about this later.” He suggested, trying to keep his voice low. 

“When else am I supposed to talk to you, Roxas?” She slammed her hand palm down on the table, causing her wine glass to wobble. “You’re too busy making a fool of me in broad daylight. In public!”

“Mom!” Namine shouted, honest to god shouted, and that startled Roxas more than anything else. “Not. Here.” She ground out, tiny hands balled into fists. 

“How long?” His mother demanded. “How long have you been… Acting out like this?” An incredulous laugh escaped his throat.

“Acting out how?” It was stupid, he knew he would just make whatever this was worse, but he was getting frustrated. “My whole life is centered around what  _ you  _ wanted for me, what could I possibly have done to warrant an ambush?”

Namine was now shaking her head vigorously and motioning with her hands. Xion placed a gentle hand on his knee. Only then did he realize the only thing she could possibly mean, and felt his heart freeze over. Cold as ice and hazy like frost on a window. 

“Oh my god no.” The words tumbled out of his mouth of their own volition. “No way… No way are you doing this  _ now _ .” He could feel every set of eyes in the room on him. “This is supposed to be for Hayner and Olette.” He spat, unsure if he was more angry or terrified. 

“You’re better than this, Roxas, you know not to spend time with that type of crowd.” She paused, delicate brows drawn together. “If you aren’t careful you’ll end up-” She lowered her voice to a stage whisper. “Catching something.”

He felt his face flame with embarrassment.

“For the love of- you sound like a bad afterschool special.” The feeling of paralyzing fear had been replaced by burning frustration. “I’m with the same ‘crowd’ I’ve always been. And health class was mandatory, mom. I know how to keep from ‘catching things’.” He was a little offended she seemed to think he was so dense. He was also offended that she was assuming Axel was infected with something.

It was par for the course, though. He knew what his parents thought about gay people, and part of what they thought was that they were promiscuous and disease ridden.

“Who was that man?” She asked, icy blue eyes boring into him. “He’s obviously no medical professional, so who is he?” 

Roxas laughed in spite of himself. 

“You don’t believe I have friends in emergency medicine?” His cheeky answer didn’t go over well.

“It wasn’t Namine visiting that night in the hospital, was it?” She glared at him accusingly. “Tell me, what were you doing Wednesday evening?” She continued before he could even answer.

But of course she already knew. She had to have already known. Worst case scenario, she got an eyeful of Roxas kissing someone who was of the same gender which was always a no-no. Best case scenario, she’d only witnessed what was obviously a romantic outing. 

He doubted this would be an issue at all if it was a woman he’d been smooching.

“Does it even matter how I answer?” He tried to match his mother’s glare. “You seemed to have made up your mind already, so what’s the point?”   


“You know I didn’t raise you like this.” She seethed. “I knew you were impressionable, but this is too much.”

“Impressionable?” He felt like ripping out every hair on his head. “What, you think I was  _ coerced _ ?” He turned his attention to his sister. 

“What did she say.” He demanded. “What did she tell you.” 

Namine looked at her feet.

“Roxas we really shouldn’t do this here… You don’t need everyone in town to see this.” It almost sounded as if she were pleading with him.

“Alright. Let me try to remember what I did on  _ Wednesday _ …” The look on Namine’s face was the look of someone witnessing a terrible fiery car accident. “I went to work, I had lunch with Xion, I went  _ back _ to work and stayed nearly a half an hour late… But that can’t be what you’re so upset about that you’re ruining a  _ wedding rehearsal _ .”

“Roxas.” His mother began, her voice low and dangerous. “You know how your father and I feel about-”

“You know maybe we can talk about what happened on  _ Sunday _ .” Roxas interjected. “How you verbally abused the waiter because of something you  _ suspected _ .” It seemed like his father was about to say something, but he continued. “And thank god I’m dating a fucking paramedic because the staff found me going anaphylactic on the bathroom floor, all because  _ you _ couldn’t keep your rude thoughts to yourself.”

“Roxas stop.” Xion whispered, tightening her grip on his leg. “If you keep going like this you’ll only regret it…”

“Let me take a wild guess.” He was on a roll, and if he didn’t say something his mother would. “You want me to fess up to having the gall to be seen in public with my  _ boyfriend _ , who I’ve been seeing for half a year by the way.” 

It didn’t occur to him right away that this was the first time he’d honestly referred to Axel as his boyfriend. He was just feeling too angry and defensive.

“You want me to tell you that I gave into peer pressure, because god forbid I hold hands with someone I’m dating in the light of day. There has to be an explanation, right?” His voice was thick with sarcasm. “Better wait until I’m married to do something  _ that _ shameful.”

If he had been paying attention to the now silent crowd, he would have noticed that out of all of his friends only Hayner really looked all that surprised. The rest just silently watched their dumpster fire of a conversation with looks of discomfort on their faces.

“You’re under the assumption that everything I do is either a phase, or to spite you.” He continued, pinching the bridge of his nose, feeling the familiar start of a tension headache. “Did you ever once stop to think that maybe I’m capable of making my own choices? That I might actually be  _ happy? _ ”

“How could you do this to us?” She looked hurt, but by the sound of her voice it was just a ruse. “There are other ways to rebel-”

“How could I do this to  _ you?” _

If he hadn’t been angry before, he was livid now. 

“I’m tired, mom. I’m tired of feigning interest when you try to set me up with the daughter of some book club friend. I’m tired of listening to you talk about people like they’re not even human because if I speak up what if you turn on  _ me? _ ” He felt hot with anger.

“I’m just tired. I tried to keep quiet about it because I knew you’d pull something like this... Because you’re so absorbed in how you and dad look you’re willing to out me at my best friends’  _ wedding rehearsal. _ ” 

His jaw hurt from the way he’d been gritting his teeth.

He didn’t wait to hear what else she had to say. He calmly stood and walked out of the restaurant. 

“Don’t bother busting into my apartment, because I won’t be there. Sorry they decided to do this now, Olette.” Once his rage cooled he would probably shrivel up and die of embarrassment, but now he could barely muster enough emotion for a decent apology.

He felt an enormous weight lifted from his chest as he swung open heavy doors and stepped into the night air. After a good deal of walking he eventually realized that he’d gotten a ride to the rehearsal and needed to call a cab if he wanted to get anywhere.

All he could do at this point was do what he did best, mooch off of Axel’s kindness and hide at his place. 

He was in the back of a cab that smelled faintly like vomit when he started dialing. He listened to it ring, and for a brief second thought maybe the redhead wasn’t able to answer, until finally after what seemed like forever, he picked up. 

“Do you have a spare key?” He asked, staring out the window at the neon signs whizzing past.  

“Yeah, why?” He could hear Axel fiddling with something on the other line, his voice muffled, and it sounded like there was someone else talking in the background. “Up the narcan to 4 mil, there’s enough heroin in that guy to take down an elephant.” 

He could barely hear the response from whoever Axel was talking to, but it earned whoever it was a long sigh.

“I won’t get fired if you don’t report me.” His tone was artificially sweet. “ _Obviously_ there’s an emergency, I wouldn’t have answered if there wasn’t another pair of capable hands to pick up the slack, now could you do me a favor and give this guy the fuckin’ narcan?” 

It sounded like the redhead was having trouble juggling his phone and whatever medical device he was obviously trying to carry at the same time.. 

“The longer you bitch at me the more likely he is to go into a coma.” The redhead sang, and Roxas could hear a clanging noise on the other line. Obviously he was on the job, which made him feel guilty for calling at all.

“You sound busy so just… Can you tell me where it is?” Roxas massaged his temple with his free hand. 

“Hold on just a minute.” The background noise diminished considerably. “It’s just one of our frequent flyers. He’s pretty resilient and I’m not the only one here to take care of him.” He raised his voice at the last part. “Did something happen?” The redhead had stopped shuffling whatever he’d been shuffling around.

“It’d… Probably be easier to explain in person.” He took a deep breath. “I… Would like to hide out at your place though, if it’s okay.”

“That doesn’t bode well.” Axel commented, his voice tinged with concern. “I mean sure, you can definitely bunk at my place, but I can get someone to cover for me if it’s that bad.” 

“Don’t you even think about it.” Roxas heard someone shout in the background.   


It was definitely tempting, and the gesture was sweet, but in a way Roxas felt like he’d brought at least some of this down upon himself.

“It’s fine, I’ll tell you later.” He insisted. “Just… Be safe and all that crap.” He could hear Axel sigh.   


“Okay, fill me in later then. The key’s just under the doormat. I don’t have anything worth stealing so I never picked a better hiding place.” 

Roxas probably could have guessed as much, but it was nice talking to Axel all the same.

“Thanks.” He felt a wave of relief wash over him. “Bye, I l- I’ll see you when you get home.” 

He stared at the device in his hand long after the line went dead. Obviously the events prior had fried his brain. 

Axel’s spare key was exactly where he said it would be, and Roxas made a mental note to find a better place for it later. 

Axel might not mind being robbed, but Roxas sure did.

He quickly collapsed onto Axel’s sofa, not willing to put forth the effort required to remove his stupid suit.. 

Now that the excitement was over it finally occurred to him that everyone in his life knew he was gay. He had always had a feeling at least a few of his friends had guessed, but there would be no guessing anymore.   


He felt a little sick.

Maybe it was the stress, maybe it was the fact that apartment smelled comfortingly familiar, but regardless of what finally did the trick, Roxas was eventually able to fall asleep.

He wasn’t exactly sure what time it was when Axel got home, all he knew was that it was still dark out. He silently watched the redhead creep around in the dark, changing out of work clothes and gingerly sitting on the sliver of sofa still available now that Roxas was sprawled out on it.

Roxas could just barely see the sheepish smile on his face in the dim light streaming through the window.

“Sorry, didn’t mean to wake you up.” He apologized, but to be honest Roxas was just glad he was there. He clumsily yanked the redhead down for a kiss, which was harder to do in the dark than he anticipated. He could feel Axel smile, and it made him melt inside.

“Glad to see you too.” The redhead laughed, and it was all Roxas could do not to kiss him again. 

“Did your overdose guy pull through?” He clung to the redhead like an octopus, hungry for his warmth.   


“Yeah, we brought him back around.” Axel grinned triumphantly, visible even in the dark. “You’re dressed pretty fancy to just be conked out on my couch.” Roxas blushed.

“Tonight was… Exhausting.” He was suddenly keenly aware of how uncomfortable he was. 

“I figured.” He could feel the redhead gently tugging him by the arm. “Come on. Your back will hurt if you crash on my shitty old couch.” Roxas allowed himself to be led to Axel’s room, feeling too drowsy to be embarrassed. “Close your eyes, I’m turning on the light for a sec and I don’t want you to go blind.”

The blonde did as he was told, squinting his eyes shut.

“I think it’d take a little more than that to blind me.” He said, blinking in an effort to adjust to the change in light. Axel was rummaging through his dresser drawer. “What are you doing?”

“Looking for something you can wear to bed instead of a tux.” He replied as if it didn’t sound absolutely crazy out loud. He pulled out a baggy black shirt with a triumphant cry before tossing it Roxas’ way. “Put that on. It’ll be way too big, but it’ll be more comfortable than what you have on now.”

He watched the redhead disappear into the bathroom before finally stripping off the tuxedo in favor of the soft baggy shirt. 

Burrowing under Axel’s sheets, Roxas he tried to tell himself that this wasn’t at all weird, because they were dating damn it and dating people stayed at each other’s apartments.

At least he thought they probably did. 

The lights went out, and the weight of the bed shifted as the redhead climbed in.

“So what happened?” He asked, fingers already winding their way into Roxas’ hair. Any feelings of strangeness quickly vanished.

“My mother thinks you’ve corrupted me.” He murmured, the events prior suddenly seeming much more distant. 

“Is that what happened?” The taller man slung an arm around Roxas’ waist, pressing his lips to the top of his head. 

The calming embrace was exactly what he needed.

“There was a little more to it than that. She seems to think we’re taking party drugs and having reckless unprotected sex or something.” He sighed, focusing all of his energy on the feeling of Axel’s lips in his hair. “She also doesn’t believe you’re a medical professional.”

“I can’t remember having any reckless unprotected sex, can you?” Axel paused, before adding. “Maybe we don’t remember because of all that molly we’ve been taking.” Roxas snorted. 

“All things considered we’ve been model citizens… I couldn’t tell her that though. Not in front of all those people.” She’d just have to keep making baseless assumptions, because what he did with his boyfriend was his business.

Boyfriend… It was still weird to think about. Not weird in a bad way, really… Just weird.

“As nice as it is to be the subject of such hot gossip, what got her on the topic of… Well, me. Weren’t you supposed to be giving toasts or something?” Roxas wondered if Axel had come home early… It seemed too dark to be six.    


“From what I gather she saw us together. My dad probably did too, but he hates making a scene.” He rolled his eyes.

“Shit… I’m sorry, Rox.” Axel mumbled into his hair, sounding genuinely apologetic. Roxas shrugged.

“They were bound to find out eventually. I mean sure, I didn’t want them to find out, especially like that, but I don’t want to have to sneak around.” He wasn’t in high school anymore, he was done going to great lengths to keep an impossible secret. “She outed me to… Well, everyone.” 

Axel was rubbing his back in comforting circles.

“That was a pretty shitty thing to do.” He commented quietly.

“I didn’t do myself any favors.” Roxas admitted. “She started it, but I was the one who finished it.” He pressed his nose into the dip of Axel’s collarbone. It was probably pretty cold, but Axel didn’t complain. “Everyone knows you’re my boyfriend now, though. I was so mad I didn’t really take a minute to think about whether or not you would mind.”

“Boyfriend, huh?” Axel gave a contemplative hum. 

“If you want to be, I mean.” The blonde amended. “I didn’t give them your name or anything… Though I’m sure they can probably guess.” Axel scoffed.

“Duh, I want to be. You don’t see me doing this with anyone else, do you?”  Roxas didn’t have to see his face to know he was probably rolling his eyes. 

“Good.” He felt a little giddy. “Good… You’re my boyfriend.” Axel chuckled.

“Kinda’ have been for a while now.” He said. Roxas felt himself smile, big and stupid.

“I know.” He wrapped an arm around the redhead. “But it’s nice to be able to say it.”

**This might have run a wee bit long, but I figured since my update schedule is, well, non existent, you folks wouldn’t mind getting more bang for your buck. As always, thank you for letting me know what you think and please keep it coming. If not for you this fic might have fallen into hiatus hell.**


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome back to Vanilla, I’m an absolute mess and perfectionism is ruining my life. I'm a Kindergarten teacher now and I work crazy hours. Vanilla is almost over. I’m a little sad to be honest. I’ve grown attached to this AU.

Roxas was startled awake by a jarringly loud noise. He could recall having some sort of nightmare, and it took a moment to realize that it was no nightmare at all.

His worst fear had come true and he wasn’t quite sure how he felt about it. Perhaps he had sort of expected it, perhaps he had seen it coming. For whatever reason he felt… Numb.

He blinked up at an unfamiliar ceiling, confused. This wasn’t his room.. 

The confusion, the sort that occurs naturally when waking in an unfamiliar location, dissipated rather quickly when he rolled over to find Axel asleep with long limbs tangled in the sheets, as if they had failed in a vain attempt to escape.

He was then faced with two very conflicting emotions. The overwhelming anxiety regarding the night before, exacerbated by the fact that even after all that commotion he still had to take part in Hayner’s wedding.

Well, if Hayner wanted anything to do with him after that. 

And then there was what he felt when he looked back at the snoozing redhead. A feeling that made his heart snag in his throat..

Somehow, his incredibly unhealthy mechanisms of dealing with Hayner’s proposal to Olette had worked out.

He had been so sure he would never love again, but well… Turns out he wasn’t thinking clearly.

If someone told him six months ago that his dramatics would land him a boyfriend, he would have told them they were out of their mind. Yet here he was, waking up beside Axel yet again in what seemed to be a growing habit.

Though ever since their first encounter Roxas had made an endeavor to stay mostly sober. He definitely wasn’t dealing with his problems by getting stupid drunk anymore.

And as far as boyfriends went, Axel was a pretty good one. Sure, he could be just as dramatic as Roxas when he wanted to be, but that was fine. He could forfeit perfection in favor of compatibility. .

If he’d learned anything from his family, it was that being perfect wasn’t worth the effort it took.

It took a few seconds for his eyes to adjust, the pale morning light filtering through the window, illuminating dancing dust motes. Axel was rubbing his face tiredly, apparently unwilling to investigate the source of the noise, which Roxas could vaguely identify as the doorbell.

“It’s too early.” The redhead grumbled, his voice thick with sleep. Among his other realizations he came to the conclusion that the man was cute when he was sleepy.

“I take it you weren’t expecting company?” Roxas stretched his arm before draping it over Axel. He was a bit reluctant to let the man move, not when he was feeling this… Comfortable. Axel snorted.

“No, I wasn’t.” He apparently didn’t care that Roxas was an all around mess from the night before, because he wasted no time capturing the blond’s lips in a slow, lazy kiss. One which he gladly reciprocated. This kiss of course led to similar kisses and needless to say they were pretty tangled up when the doorbell rang yet again. Axel groaned, reluctantly disentangling himself from Roxas. “I’ll be right back.” 

Roxas was sad to have Axel leave, and even sadder that he was taking his warmth with him. He was obviously jinxed. He couldn’t do anything with Axel without being interrupted.

The entire time the redhead was dressing himself he was complaining and cursing, his colorful expletives punctuated by the near constant ringing of the doorbell. Roxas sat himself up and scooted into the space Axel had previously occupied in an attempt to absorb the leftover body heat. It wasn’t nearly as good as having Axel there with him, but it was a start.

  
“Sure you don’t want backup?” Roxas offered with a sly little smile. Now fully dressed and only looking a _ little  _ like he’d just rolled out of bed, Axel bent to give the blond another kiss. He had to fight the urge to grab him and keep him there. 

He was beyond questioning those urges. They were just inevitable at this point. Pulling back, the redhead had an endearing smile on his face. That damn lump in Roxas’ throat was back now.

“Ideally I would like both of us to go back to sleep until we wake up at like... noon.” He sighed. “That said, feel free to come rescue me if I’m in sudden need of a lawyer.” 

“I told you to wait until I was out of school to get sued.” Roxas commented with a wry smile.

“If someone really wanted to sue me I doubt they’d wait until you were out of school.” Axel said, looking amused.

“Fair enough.” He conceded. “Try not to get sued, then.”

“Maybe we can create a diversion. We could always try your appendix. That was a solid excuse.” The redhead was grinning like an idiot, barely dodging the pillow Roxas threw at him.

“Go answer the door, you big dork.” His words held no bite to them. Axel chuckled, finally leaving for the living room to make the damn ringing stop. Though he really didn’t want to move, the blond figured he should at least clean himself up a little. Wrapping himself in the rumpled sheet, he tiptoed to the bathroom. 

“Wasn’t expecting to see you here.” Axel remarked.  

“I’m sorry… I asked the girl at the diner where you lived. I told her it was an emergency.” That voice belonged to Xion.

Roxas froze, staring bug eyed into the mirror. 

“That would be my sister… She’s always been a blabbermouth.” There was a brief pause before Axel laughed. “You can come in, I won’t bite.”

“Have you seen Roxas? He won’t answer any of our calls, not even mine…” Her voice was filled with worry. 

“He’s here. You can sit down, you know.” Axel sounded amused.

Roxas’ lungs hurt and only then did he realize he’d been holding his breath.

“Oh thank goodness… The last time I saw him he was pissed and storming out of that fancy seafood place downtown.” She released a sigh of relief.

“Sounded to me like he had good reason to be pissed.” Axel remarked. Whatever Roxas had been doing had been forgotten in favor of eavesdropping.

“I tried to make sure it didn’t happen that way.” His best friend sounded distressed. “Namine told me that their mom had seen the two of you being ‘intimate’ and was pretty mad about it, but Namine said she could hold her off until after the wedding.”

This prompted Roxas to sneak himself into the hallway so he could see what was happening. Xion looked upset. 

“When things started going bad I tried to help him stay calm but he got so mad… He didn’t even say where he was going.” 

“Did she tell you what she meant by ‘intimate’?” Axel seemed almost nervous. 

“Who knows, she probably just saw you holding hands or something. She…” Xion looked down at her hands folded in her lap. “She probably already had the feeling this was how things were. I don’t think she needed much proof.”

“That’s… Usually how it is.” Axel was staring off into space, eyes fixated on a chip in the paint on the wall “I uh… Probably didn’t make this very easy, did I?” Xion shrugged.

“I mean… I don’t think you did anything  _ wrong _ …” Xion seemed to hesitate. “It… Might not be such a good idea to go out in public together, at least until winter time. Roxas’ parents usually leave for the winter.”

Axel merely nodded. 

“That… Probably would have been good to know, in hindsight. Is there a way you could take the focus… You know, off of Roxas.” He had a peculiar look on his face. Xion’s eyes widened in comprehension.

“I mean… We could. We definitely could.” She looked unsure again. “I don’t know if he would want that though… He really does like you.”

“Would that make it easier on him in the long run?” Roxas was uncomfortable with how serious Axel sounded. 

“I think it would be better, short term…” Xion admitted. “But in the long run it would only make it worse… Something like this is bound to happen again and if they think it’s all you… That would be hard on both of you.”

“That  _ would _ be pretty bad.” Axel sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. “Would um…” He lowered his voice to the point where Roxas could barely hear. “Would it be better if I was uh… Not in the picture?” 

Roxas his stomach turn to ice. -

“Maybe.” She answered honestly. “If you weren’t a factor anymore, I think they could brush it off like nothing happened. I don’t think either of you really want that… Do you?” The redhead shook his head.

“No… I don’t even know if I could do it, to be honest. Cut myself out, I mean.” He was gnawing on his lower lip. “I’m fucking terrible at letting go… It’s not like I’m trying to be noble or anything. If I had my way I’d be a part of his life for, I don’t know… Forever.”   


The blond’s fingers clutched the fabric over his pounding heart. 

“Then you know as well as I do that isn’t the solution.” Xion replied. “Roxas wouldn’t go for that and it’d be no use faking it. He can spot a lie from a mile away.” 

He couldn’t listen to this any longer. He took a deep breath before abandoning his blanket cape and calmly walking into the living room.

“Xion, you better not have told Namine that I’m here.” He didn’t wait for an answer, seating himself on the sofa beside Axel. 

“I kept your location to myself. I had a feeling you’d be here.” She looked relieved. “When you left and didn’t answer any of our calls or messages we were so worried… How are you?” She placed a hand on his knee.

“I’m great. Everyone in town knows I’m gay and my boyfriend wants to leave me.” He sent Axel a pointed glare. 

  
“What? No, that’s the last thing I want.” Axel protested, fidgeting in his seat.

“Axel…” He didn’t know where to start… Sometimes the redhead was pretty dense. “Do you think my parents are going to do a total 180 just because I’m with someone that’s  _ not _ you?”

“I mean probably not… It’s just that we got off on the wrong foot and now it’s all… Fucked up.” Axel finished lamely. Roxas sighed, taking his hand and interlacing their fingers.

“My parents wouldn’t like you no matter how you met. It’s not  _ you _ , trust me.” He wasn’t sure if he worded it quite right. It sounded almost mean, but it was true. Even if they had met Axel under the best, most controlled circumstances, they would still dislike him.

It was a good distraction, this urge to assuage Axel. 

“None of this is your fault.” He reassured him, tipping to the side to lean against the taller man. It was nice, even if he did have to crank his neck to look him in the eye. “I came with a lot of baggage.” He said with a sheepish smile. Axel laughed, kissing the corner of his mouth. 

“I still like you, baggage and all.” He murmured, and Roxas’ heart jumped in his chest. He really wished it would stop doing that.

“As happy as I am for you, Roxas, I didn’t drop by just to watch you smooch.” She was chewing a hangnail impatiently. He felt a slight tick of irritation. 

“What did you drop by for, then?” He asked testily. Axel gave his hand a squeeze.

“It was actually Hayner and Olette that asked me to track you down.”

Roxas felt that familiar spike of fear. 

“You might want to at least let them know if you’re going to the wedding or not.” Xion shrugged. Roxas groaned, burying his face in his free hand.

“Fuck… The wedding.” He’d almost forgotten for a blessed moment. Almost but not quite. “God… If I go my parents will just make it about them again.” 

“If you don’t go you won’t be able to defend yourself if they decide to start something anyway.” Xion pointed out. She made a very good argument.

“What if Hayner and Olette don’t want me there?” That was his main worry… Facing all his friends again.

“Just give them a call.” Xion insisted. “They wouldn’t want to talk to you so bad if they didn’t want you there.” 

Roxas bit his lip. He knew she was probably right, and he couldn’t hide forever. Xion gave him the world’s tightest hug and showed herself out.

There was a message from nearly everyone in his contact list. It was intimidating to look at, and he wasn’t so sure he wanted to read them.

“At least tell your sister where you are.” Axel suggested, running gentle fingers through his hair. As reluctant as he was to tell anyone where he was, he knew the redhead was right. 

Namine had sent multiple messages, as if after each one she still wasn’t satisfied.

_ I’m so sorry.  _

_ They told me they saw you but I swear I never thought they’d do something like that.  _

_ I didn’t tell them anything. _

_ I begged them not to be hard on you, I’m so sorry.  _

_ Please text me when you get this. _

It was impossible not to accept such an apology. Especially from his sister.

_ I’m okay. I’m with Axel. _

No way would be be stupid enough to text his sister his actual location, knowing now that his parents were known to break into her phone. She responded right away with a slue of heart emojis. Now that that was through, here came the hard part.   
  
He had to call Olette, if only to confirm that he would still make an appearance at the wedding. The phone rang only twice before the woman picked up. 

“Roxas, is that you?” Then after a brief pause she laughed awkwardly. “I mean, of course it’s you. You’re calling from  _ your _ cell phone.” Roxas took a deep breath.

“You honestly think I wouldn’t have a lock screen on my phone? After last night?” He could hear Axel snicker beside him.

“After last night I hope you have a lock on  _ everything _ .” Olette laughed. “Are you okay? We’ve all been so worried.”   


The tone of her voice was completely normal. 

“I’m… Fine.” It was mostly true. “It would have been nice if they saved that for another time.” He still felt guilty.

“Roxas...I hope you don’t take this the wrong way _ ,  _ but I already knew.” Strangely enough Olette sounded like she also felt guilty, though over something else entirely. “It’s not like it’s obvious or anything, it’s just that we’ve been friends for so long…” She sighed. “I thought you just didn’t like talking about your personal life so I never asked.”    


Roxas bit his lip, feeling his stomach churn.   


“Did uh… Did anyone else…?” The familiar feeling of anxiety was back.

“Pence did.” She said. “I think it took Hayner by surprise, though.”

Pence knowing didn’t surprise him. Pence was perceptive. He had definitely known Roxas was seeing someone, and he probably also knew who. Hayner, however…

“Is he uh…” He wasn’t sure how to put it into words. “Does he have particularly strong feelings about… That.” 

“Oh god no!” Olette assured him. “He feels terrible. You should really talk to him, he feels like he’s said a lot of things he wouldn’t have if he’d known.” Roxas attempted to swallow the lump in his throat. 

“You can tell him he can call me… If he wants to.” Roxas dared to glance beside him. Axel had a thoughtful look on his face. 

“I’ll do that. And I know this is a lot to ask, but do you think you could still come to our wedding?” She sounded hopeful. He couldn’t say no to that, not after all the help he’d given her. “And of course you know you can still bring a plus one.” Roxas snorted.

“You sure you don’t want to go back on that one?” He wasn’t sure his friend knew what she was getting into. 

“You helped me fill out the invitations, remember? You wrote it down yourself. All guests get to bring a plus one.” She didn’t sound as careful as she had earlier. In fact she almost sounded playful.   


“Well yeah, but when we decided on the whole plus one thing you didn’t really know…” He trailed off, watching Axel raise a curious brow. 

“A plus one is a plus one, Roxas.” Olette said curtly. 

Roxas felt himself release the breath he’d been holding. He never thought Olette of all people would take it badly, but this was more than he dared to hope for. 

As nice as the sentiment was, he wasn’t sure his newly proclaimed boyfriend would want to be dragged into the shit show that was sure to be Hayner and Olette’s wedding.

“Thanks for the offer… We’ll see.” He felt the corner of his mouth twitch. “I’ll be there, though. Promise.”

“I’m glad… Hayner will be too.” And with a click the phone call ended. 

It turned out the fallout wasn’t nearly as bad as he had alway feared. It was almost comical just how little it surprised Olette. 

Finally he bit the bullet and listened to his voicemail. There were several, all apparently left by his mother. 

They were repetitive, consisting of the same things. Where was he, how dare he make such a scene, he better not be doing anything he’d regret…

And he wasn’t, not like how he wanted to. 

Because he wanted to be a smart ass and say that he was playing doctor with his paramedic boyfriend who was most definitely a medical professional, thank you very much, and how dare she doubt Axel’s legitimacy because what, did she think Roxas couldn’t get an actual doctor to date him?

He couldn’t hold back all of his snark, and so he responded via text. No way in hell was he going to make the mistake of calling.

_ I’m with my boyfriend. I’m dropping out of law school and pursuing a career in fashion. _

He was kind enough to show said boyfriend before sending it.

“Do you want her to hate me even more than she already does?” Axel rubbed his face tiredly.

“Yes. I want to make her absolutely livid so that every time I drag you to a family function she’s forced to choke down her anger and pretend to be nice so as not to let the extended family know how dysfunctional we are.” Roxas moved his hand out of the way so he had access to the redhead’s lips. He felt Axel sigh into the kiss.

He looked tired, his eyes rimmed with dark circles, and his hair was a mess. Well, more of a mess than usual. It was cute. Roxas pulled away and patted his cheek.

“What time did you get home last night?” He asked, making himself comfortable leaning on his tired boyfriend. 

“I managed to get off at three. Worked a nine hour shift rather than a twelve.” He offered a bleary smile. 

“You work too much.” Roxas asserted, stealing another kiss from the sleepy redhead. “You can’t work when you’re overtired. You’ll end up getting yourself hurt.”

“Right. I’ll just tell them my boyfriend said no more night shifts.” Axel stifled a yawn. The blonde huffed, grabbing the man’s arm. 

“Someone  _ bit _ you, Axel.” Roxas said, feeling exasperated. “Mouths are full of germs, what if it got infected and you got… Gangrene or something?”

Axel snorted, tipping Roxas’ chin upward and placing an enticingly warm kiss to his lips, this one lasting longer than the previous few. Roxas wrapped his arms around the redhead’s neck, unwilling to let the kiss stop. Axel pulled back just the slightest bit, causing the blonde to emit a small noise of displeasure. 

“If you think getting bitten is bad…” This earned him a smack on the arm. 

“I swear to god Axel, if you’re at risk of… Of blowing up or something…” Roxas glared at him sternly. 

“I mean… I  _ probably _ won’t blow up.” Axel’s smile was impish, which earned him another smack on the arm. 

“I’m telling your mother you’re going to blow yourself up.” Roxas warned. “She’ll make you work at the diner forever.” The pout this elicited from Axel was almost cartoonish.

“Please don’t, there’s only so much of my family I can take.” He begged, brushing his hand over Roxas’ thigh.

He was seducing him, that stupid, sexy redhead. He was seducing him and it was working.

“Find a safer job, then.” The blonde replied, gently tipping Axel until his back was against the arm of the sofa. “Or be more careful. Ideally I should be the only one putting my mouth on you.” He punctuated his sentence with a kiss, one that got out of control pretty quickly.

It wasn’t long before they were heavily making out, Roxas straddling Axel’s lap. This was rudely interrupted by the tinny tune of his ringtone. He groaned, pulling away to grab the stupid thing while Axel traced the notches of his spine. 

“Hello?” He hoped w hoever was on the line could hear how testy he was.   


“Mom is furious, what did you do?” It was Namine. Apparently his mother must have received his text message. 

“I told her I’m running off to get married in the tropics.” He replied blandly. Axel raised an eyebrow, to which Roxas stuck his tongue out in reply. “I just told her who I was with… Sort of.”

“What do you mean, sort of? Roxas what did you tell her?” Namine was just doing her job, being overprotective and overbearing. 

“Relax, I wasn’t graphic or anything. I just told her I was with my ne'er do well boyfriend getting gayer by the minute.” He pursed his lips in thought. “Maybe I should tell her how her sending me to the ER drove me further into his loving embrace.” Axel chuckled. 

“She’s not going to accept any of this if you keep treating it like a joke.” Namine warned. 

“Then can  _ you _ tell her that she was the one who drove me further into his loving embrace? Please?” He could hear his sister sigh defeatedly. 

“Fine, but only because you’ve had it rough. Hold on.” She must have put her hand over the receiver, because what he heard was muffled. “Roxas wants me to tell you that you were the one who drove him into his boyfriend’s ‘loving embrace’.” Then, after a pause and what sounded like an angry response, Namine added. “Because you gave him a panic attack, which got the paramedics called. And his boyfriend is a paramedic.” 

She sounded annoyed that she had to explain the joke. She sounded annoyed she even had to tell the joke in the first place. 

This time he could almost make out what his mother was shouting. Almost. Luckily Namine was there to clarify.

“She says she’s going to get Axel’s licence revoked for ‘fornicating on the job’.” 

Roxas burst into a fit of gut busting laughter. 

“Can you.. Can you tell her one more thing?” He asked, unable to keep from snickering.

“Oh my god, fine.” Namine groaned. “What?”

“Tell her we do our fornicating at home, like a respectable couple.” Axel blinked, completely lost. “Please, please tell her while you’ve got me on the phone.” He begged.

“Ew! God Roxas, you’re so embarrassing.” She grit out angrily before shouting across the room again. “Sounds like your case wouldn’t stick, mom. He says they keep it in the bedroom like a respectable couple."

It sounded like a scuffle ensued. 

“Put him on speaker!” He heard his mother shriek. There was a click, and then he heard a stream of profanities.

“Well I have fornicating to do. Bye, Namine.” He hung up before he got even more of an earful. It only struck him after the line was dead that he was on speaker and his mother heard that.

“What’s this about fornicating?” Axel asked, the hand on his back momentarily stilling.    


“I told Namine to tell my mom that it was partially her fault we’re together.” He began. The redhead nodded.

“Yeah, my loving embrace, I remember.” He motioned for Roxas to continue.

“Well my mom said she’d have your licence revoked for fornicating on the job.” He explained, causing Axel to laugh. “Then I told Namine to tell her we do all our fornicating at home.” 

Though they had gotten pretty hot and heavy in the back of the car… 

“She’s going to always hate me, until the day I inevitably get blown up on the job.” The redhead said, suddenly looking very worn out.

“Of course not.” Roxas cooed, caressing his boyfriend’s cheek. “She won’t hate you forever.” Probably. “She’ll have no choice but to like you. Once she calms down it’ll be fine.” He hoped. Though that made him wonder… “Does your family know we’re together?” 

“I never said anything, officially.” Axel admitted. “But since we have lunch every day and we’re not the most sly when it comes to PDA…” He shrugged. “I think they’ve figured it out.” 

His hand was on the move again, lazily running fingers along Roxas’ ribs. It sent a tingle down his spine.    
  
Roxas shifted so he was close enough to kiss Axel again, running his tongue along the redhead’s bottom lip while he busied himself with unbuttoning Roxas’ shirt. 

“We do this a lot now…” Roxas breathed, tangling his fingers in messy red hair. “You’d better not get sick of me.”

It was a secret fear, now that he’d allowed himself to acknowledge that he was in love. 

“Sick of you?” Axel scoffed, running warm hands over Roxas’ chest. “Never. In fact, I’m insulted you would even think such a thing.” Roxas gasped, arching into the touch. 

They ended up having sex on Axel’s couch. 

Lying on top of the redhead, basking in the afterglow, he couldn’t find it in him to really care. He could feel the familiar feeling of Axel’s heartbeat beneath his palm, of Axel’s fingers in his hair.

“If I ask you something will promise to be one hundred percent honest?” He looked the redhead in the eyes, chin resting on his collarbone.

“I’ll probably regret saying this, but… Sure.” He said, gently massaging Roxas’ scalp. 

“That night when I went to look for Hayner… What were you going to tell me?” The hand in his hair froze.

“That again?” Axel faltered. “I mean… Didn’t we already hash that one out?” His apparent nervousness told Roxas that they hadn’t.

“Not entirely. You promised.” He reminded him. Axel released a long sigh.  

“Bad move on my part.” He mumbled, rubbing his face.    


“Can’t go back on it now.” Roxas grinned, happy to have successfully trapped the redhead. “You went on a long spiel about unrequited love and then lost your nerve, so what was it?”

Axel was staring at the ceiling now. 

“That was like… A week ago.” When Roxas didn’t respond he sighed again. “If you get weird about what I’m going to say I swear to god…” 

The blonde vigorously shook his head. 

“I won’t, I swear.” He assured him, connecting their pinkies. The redhead still looked unconvinced, but a promise was a promise.

“I wanted to tell you…” He looked like he was thinking of the least painful way to say it. “I wanted to tell you how I… Felt. Because of the whole weird deal with Hayner, making it feel like I’d never see you again or something.” He was staring at a tear in the sofa. 

“You’re pretty much my best friend, I make sure to see you at  _ least _ once every day.” Roxas pressed a light kiss to the taller man’s jaw. “I can’t believe you thought I’d just drop you.”

“Yeah well… Sometimes people don’t always think clearly.” The redhead replied defensively. “I was rash and started babbling like an idiot…”

“Speaking of being an idiot, why’d you go and get drunk instead of just going to work? As much as I loved nursing you back to health, that was a pretty odd choice.” He focused on Axel’s expression, trying to think of what emotion could possibly describe it.

“That was…” The redhead’s frown grew even deeper, his expression contemplative. “I was afraid I’d scared you off and I went and got drunk so I’d pass out before I did anything else stupid.”

“Wow. It’s like you don’t trust me at all.” Roxas replied, expression deadpan. “What could have possibly scared me off?”

“You have feelings for Hayner-”

“Had.” The blonde corrected. “Past tense.”

“Okay, you  _ had _ feelings for Hayner…” Axel continued. “And I thought if you knew about ah… How I felt…”

“Don’t finish, I don’t want to hear about you thinking I’d bail.” Roxas didn’t like the fact that that was something the redhead actually considered to be a possibility. “How did you feel? About me, that is.” The redhead had a pained expression on his face. 

“Rox don’t…” He averted his eyes again, this time staring at what might have been mold on the ceiling. “We don’t need to talk about this anymore, you already know I’m crazy about you.”

Roxas couldn’t help but relent. He wasn’t about to bully it out of him. Instead he buried his face in Axel’s neck.

“Alright fair enough. People do stupid things when they’re in love. Like outing themselves in front of everyone they know.” Roxas smiled wryly. Axel blinked, stunned silent. “In my defense, they were implying it was your fault. I think I probably hold at least  _ some _ of the blame.”    


The redhead still had a peculiar look on his face. 

“I thought you were grilling me on that weird tangent I went on.” He frowned, looking both concerned and befuddled.

“I was.” Oh he was too cute. Roxas moved to give him a peck on the lips. He was sweaty and sticky and on cloud nine because being in love was amazing.

“Then what was that… That thing you said?” Axel looked like he thought he understood, but was afraid to get his hopes up. The blonde rolled his eyes. 

“Love makes people stupid.” He replied simply

He took a deep breath, relishing the scent of sweat and Axel’s shampoo. 

“I love you, you dope.” He said with a grin.  Axel laughed, and Roxas felt the vibration of it. 

“I love you too. Sheesh, I figured you already knew.” Roxas could feel Axel’s lips pressed to the crown of his head.    


Roxas was elated. He  _ had  _ already known, but hearing it was different.

“I had my suspicions.” He admitted. “I wanted to hear it for myself though. Let’s just say I wanted to play it safe. I’m pretty sick of one sided feelings.” He began tracing intangible designs on Axel’s collarbone. “I was just trying to coax it out of you. I wish you weren’t so afraid I’d run off on you.” 

He could feel the redhead’s exhalation.

“You were just so in love with him, you know? From the first time we met… The first time I even hit on you, you made it clear I didn’t stand a chance. All you could talk about was him.” His smile was one of self deprecation. 

“I did?” Roxas didn’t even remember. 

“When I realized I’d fallen for you… I felt absolutely miserable, because what chance did I stand?” He wrapped a strand of blonde around his finger. “I love being your friend, don’t get me wrong. Hanging out with you has been the highlight of my day every day.” Axel pressed his lips to Roxas’ temple. 

Roxas felt terrible.

“But it seemed like whenever we’d get anywhere something would come up and you’d run right back to Hayner.” He felt the unmistakable ache of guilt in his chest hearing Axel’s words. Up until a month or two ago he had been completely blind to all of this. “And either you’d ignore me or I’d ignore you… It just seemed like the world had something against us.”

“I think it was the opposite.” The blonde reached for the other man’s hand, taking it in his. “No matter how much I tried to fight it, I always ended up with you.” They had been together for so long without him even knowing it, and now all of the reservations he had had seemed downright stupid.

“It scared the shit out of me that I might be falling in love with someone new… I sort of thought I’d be miserable forever and I think for a while I tried to be.” He confessed. “But then somehow you’d find me when I was freaking out, or give me a ride when someone ditched me…” He brought Axel’s hand, clasped with his, to his lips.

“Even when I wasn’t looking for you somehow we’d find each other so… I don’t think the world had it out for us at all. Even when one of us was ignoring the other we’d somehow end up together again.” He said, and he meant it wholeheartedly.

He couldn’t think of any other reason why it was always Axel who came to his rescue. The redhead was good, but he wasn’t  _ that _ good. 

“I… Handled things pretty poorly.” He had to take some responsibility. 

“I wasn’t so great at it either.” The redhead admitted, grinning sheepishly. 

“We’ve made it work though.” He ran his finger along Axel’s sternum. The redhead hummed in reply, mouthing the tender flesh behind Roxas’ ear. He tilted his head to the side to allow his lover more access. “I hope you know none of of my past relationships included this much-  _ ah _ … Sex.”

“Is that a bad thing?” He could feel the redhead’s hot breath on his neck. 

“It’s good.” He pulled Axel even closer. “It’s very good.”

It wasn’t even noon before they were already back in Axel’s bed, collapsed in a tangle of sweaty limbs.  

Later that afternoon, once he had showered and didn’t look like he had just spent the morning having mind blowing sex, Roxas had Xion bring him a few things from his apartment. No way was he going back, at least not until the wedding was over and done with. 

Axel didn’t seem to have any qualms with this, showing Roxas where he could keep his things. It seemed he anticipated that he’d be staying over every once in awhile, which was absolutely fine with Roxas.   


“Olette told me I could bring you along.” He informed his boyfriend, watching the redhead get ready for work from the comfort of the bed. “She was pretty insistent… You don’t have to though.” He shrugged. 

Part of him was afraid his family would scare Axel off, and he didn’t want that. Not when they were finally on the same page. The taller man paused, his shirt only partially buttoned. 

“I mean… Do  _ you _ want me to come?” He asked, looking uncertain. 

“Well…. Yeah.” Roxas answered honestly. “I know it might be kind of awkward…”   


Kind of was an understatement. 

“Well then I’ll come.” Axel replied, resuming the task of buttoning his shirt. It was the sort of reply that didn’t seem to take any thought at all. It actually sort of surprised Roxas.

“You will? Are you sure? My parents will be there…” He didn’t know if he was trying to convince Axel to stay away for his own good, or because he didn’t know if he had the energy to keep things civil if his parents started in on his boyfriend. 

“I know.” Axel shrugged. “If things are going down the bad reality TV route I’d rather be there to experience it with you. Being stuck at work yesterday sucked.” He made a face. Roxas practically hurled himself at the redhead, almost knocking him over. He didn’t seem phased by the rib crushing embrace. 

“You’re really going to regret this but I love you for it.” The blond’s voice was muffled by the fabric of Axel’s shirt. He merely laughed.

“I love you too, geez.” He pulled back just enough to place a quick peck to Roxas’ lips. “I’ll be back tonight. Overdose guy is probably back at it again already.”

Reluctantly Roxas pulled back, allowing the redhead to finish getting ready. He still thought his uniform was sexy, but that was a conversation for another day. 

“Be safe.” He felt a smile creep its way onto his face. “As great as your crazy work stories are, I’d rather you didn’t come home with a bite mark or a black eye.” Axel gave him a little salute and one more kiss before leaving.   
  
Roxas would see him in the morning, and that in and of itself seemed like a wonderful adventure.

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I’m sorry if this seemed like filler. Gotta get from point A to point B somehow. I keep thanking you all and I know it’s annoying at this point but I seriously think you’re all amazing for taking the time to give me your honest feedback. I’d also like to announce that as I wrap this fic up another is in the works so please if you like my writing keep an eye out.


	16. Chapter 16

**When I got my new job I got way too busy for this fic and I admit I let it fall to the wayside. I’m used to the amount of work now so I’m tentatively back in the fic business. Also I am taking requests and looking for good reads so recommendations are welcome. Have a fic you wish to share? Comment or PM me my friend.**

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“You sure you don’t want me to come with you?” Axel asked, multitasking by struggling to hop into his pants at the same time. Roxas couldn’t help but chuckle at the sight. He could never just put on his clothes, he always had to do something else at the same time.

“I’m sure. It’s just Hayner, he may be a blockhead but he’s not going to disown me or anything.” He promised. “You can come stir up trouble at the ceremony.” He put a metaphorical pin in the act of buttoning his shirt in order to give his boyfriend a kiss on the cheek. Axel had promised to help his mother and Kairi that morning and Roxas wasn’t about to let him off the hook for that.

He didn’t want to seem like a bad influence, after all.

“As much fun as stirring up trouble sounds, that doesn’t really seem appropriate at a wedding.” The redhead had his reservations about joining Roxas today, which were understandable. Those reservations were left by the wayside when Roxas practically begged him to come. He shrugged.

“You know weddings. Bad luck is good luck.” He still didn’t get that part. “They’re the ones who invited you.” Well, Olette did at least. And Olette’s parents were all around hippies and Hayner’s were your stereotypical surfer dudes so he didn’t see any trouble on that front. “You don’t  _ have _ to come.” Axel rolled his eyes exaggeratedly.

“I’d go anywhere with you.” It sounded a lot more romantic than he’d probably intended, but it earned him a kiss anyway. One with a lot of tongue and a lot of desperate touching. Axel would be rewarded handsomely for attending this wedding, that was for sure. 

“Rox.” The redhead mumbled into the kiss. “You’re trying to put your tux on, not getting it taken off, which I will do if we don’t knock this off.”

The point he made was a good one, and Roxas reluctantly drew back to continue buttoning his dress shirt. Axel tugged on some shirt with a silly logo and pulled his hair back, leaning down for one last, much more reserved, kiss. 

“I’m off to give the gift of pancakes and excellent customer service.” He announced as he left to search for his keys.

“Love you.” Roxas called, peeking his head out of the bedroom door. Axel positively beamed.

“Love you too.” He replied, pocketing his keys and hurrying out the door.

Prior to the wedding rehearsal, Roxas hadn’t been to church in… God, since he was a kid. That made sitting in the pews watching the decorations being put up pretty awkward.

The altar had been littered with white rose petals and the end of each pew was decorated with whole roses of the same color. The string quartet was his only company, tuning their instruments culminating in an absolutely awful sound.

He had come early to talk a few things over with Hayner, but no one he recognized had arrived yet. He almost regret insisting he come alone.

That morning as Axel struggled into his work clothes he had offered to call in yet again to the diner, which was sweet. As sweet as it was, though, Roxas couldn’t have him taking off work for his sake. He’d done that enough as it were.

So with that unnecessarily long but all too welcome goodbye kiss, he sent his boyfriend on his way and doomed himself to dealing with his friends alone.

At least until Axel was able to leave work, because then he might  _ have _ to come and play moral support.

“I can’t believe you actually showed up.” The voice, too loud and close for comfort, startled him and sent his heart into a frenzy. The very reason he was still sitting motionless in the pews was because he was too afraid to actually go looking for anyone.

It seems they found him anyway. Hayner took a seat beside him while he struggled to form a reply.

“Olette seemed to… Want me to come.” He finished lamely, bunching his hands into fists. Now he almost regret coming at all. Hayner sighed.

“Listen, about the other night…” He paused with a frown. This pause was enough to make Roxas’ heart plummet. “I hope I didn’t make you feel bad or anything.”

Roxas felt his fear frozen heart start to thaw.

“You never really meant any of it.” He said, mostly thinking of his parents who most certainly meant everything they said,

“Still…” Hayner trailed off, brows drawn together. “I wish I’d known sooner.” Then it looked like a realization had hit him. “God…  _ That’s _ why you never got a girlfriend!” Roxas laughed in spite of himself. Then Hayner’s eyes grew wide. “Wait… Does that mean you’ve actually been dating people this whole time and no one ever knew?” Roxas smiled sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck in embarrassment. 

“I mean… Yeah.” He admitted. “Everyone was always asking about girlfriends, I figured it’d be easier not to say anything.” Coming out was not an option, not when everyone already had preconceived notions about the kind of person he was. His friends thought he was just bad with the ladies, and it was close enough to the truth. Hayner sighed, eyes fixed on his feet.

“Sorry about that. I just never thought you were… Y’know.” He looked up again with the strangest expression. “Not that it’s a bad thing or anything.” He amended. He watched as the florist continued prepping the venue by adding more and more flowers. Roxas wasn’t sure what Hayner thought about the flower situation, but were he to get married he would insist on far fewer roses.

In fact, roses were cliche. He’d probably want a different flower altogether.

“Pence and I are still getting ready back at the hotel.” Hayner said. “I thought you might show up here so I thought I’d stop by.” His smile wasn’t cautious anymore, it was big and goofy and the kind of smile Roxas had once fallen in love with, what seemed like forever ago. “He’s been worried about you too, you might as well come get dressed fancy with the rest of us. Though it looks like you got a head start.” Roxas grinned at the offer.

“I’d like that.” He replied, following Hayner out of the over decorated church. It was a short walk to the hotel across the street, a big fancy hotel with revolving doors. That hotel wasn’t what caught his eye, though. It was the hotel a few buildings down. Smaller, and less pristine.

The hotel where he woke up next to the most amiable stranger. Though he passed it, his eyes lingered.

“See? I told you he would show up!” Pence crowed, giving him a hard pat on the back.

“Oh nice. One outburst from my parents and you start doubting me.” He rolled his eyes, and Pence laughed. Seifer, a friend of Hayner’s from College, snorted but kept blessedly silent, struggling with his tie. He probably had a few choice words he was keeping to himself.

“I just couldn’t see how you’d want to come after… You know.” Hayner seemed defensive. “Just… Seemed embarrassing and all.” Roxas shrugged.

“It was bound to happen eventually.” He felt bad the minute he’d said it. Just because it wasn’t entirely unexpected didn’t make it right.

“Rox… Why didn’t you tell us?” Hayner looked… Hurt. The disdain Roxas had always expected to see just wasn't there. He took a deep breath.

“I just thought things would get weird if you guys knew I was… I am…” Roxas felt his face flush. “Gay…” He finished lamely.

“How long have you uh… known that you were… Ah-  _ Are _ …?” It seemed Hayner was having just as hard a time talking about it.

“H-high school.” Roxas tried to gulp down the lump in his throat. “I was afraid of what would happen if anyone found out so I just didn't give them the chance to.”

If his parents took it this badly when he was a grown man, he could only imagine how badly they would have taken it when he was a teenager.

Hayner shifted his weight nervously.

“Did I ever… give you a reason not to tell me?” He looked almost like he felt guilty.

“No I… I chose not to tell anyone, it wasn't anything you did.” He tried to sound reassuring, but his nerves ruined any chance of that.

“I know I must have said some really shitty things, I don't blame you for not wanting me to know.” Hayner winced, as if he were thinking of all the regrettable things he had said in the past. Roxas shook his head.

“It wasn't anything you did. I was just too nervous.” He sighed. “I mean I would have liked to have come out on my own, but I'm glad it's over with.”

It was true. He was furious with his parents for choosing his best friend's wedding rehearsal of all times, but at least now he didn't have to fret about coming out on his own. Because he was going to have to if he wanted his relationship with Axel to stand a chance.

“I… Already knew.” Pence smiled sheepishly. Roxas nodded.

“Olette said something about that. But… How?” He had thought he had hidden it pretty well. Pence’s eyes were fixed to his shoes.

“I just sort of… Guessed. Seeing you talk about people, you sort of had this look in your eye when it was someone you really liked. I just thought you were a private person or something.” He admitted. Roxas found himself laughing. At what, even he didn’t know, but he couldn’t help but laugh. Everyone in the room seemed to relax, save for Seifer who hadn’t seemed to care.

“So your uh… Boyfriend…” Even Hayner was aware of how awkward the word sounded once it was out. “Is he uh… Nice?”

The poor guy was trying, he really was. 

“Yeah, yeah he’s nice.” Roxas found himself grinning like a fool. “We’ve uh… Been seeing each other for a while.” Hayner looked surprised. Pence didn’t.

“I honestly never thought you’d be that good at keeping secrets.” Hayner admitted. “Shows what I know.”

“He’s not.” Pence piped in. “We were just bad at noticing.” This earned him a glare from Hayner, but he didn’t refute Pence’s claim.

“Olette um… Olette said he could come.” Roxas suddenly felt very nervous. He had no way of knowing if Olette had discussed it with Hayner or not. From the look on his face, she didn’t.

“He’s coming?” Even Hayner sounded anxious. Roxas nodded.

“If it’s okay…” He bit his lip.

“We already know him, what’s the big deal?” Pence asked. That answered one question.

“We already… Really?” Hayner’s brow furrowed in confusion. Roxas shuffled nervously.

“Y-yeah you’ve met a few times.” He informed his friend. “My friend, the one that works at the diner. We’ve been dating.” Oh god how weird it was actually saying it. Pence had a knowing look on his face. Hayner looked horrified.

“Oh shit… I was such an asshole to him!” He tangled his fingers in his hair, looking distressed. “That’s the guy you’re… Really?”

Roxas merely nodded his head.

“You were both assholes.” He corrected. Hayner groaned.

“I wouldn’t have been if I’d known he was your… Boyfriend.” The word still seemed hard for him to say normally.

“There’s still time to make amends.” Pence said reassuringly. “This will be good. Now you can start trying to be civil with the guys he dates before  _ his _ wedding rolls around.” Roxas felt himself turn beet red. It was still a bit soon to consider marrying Axel, but that didn’t stop him from imagining it.

Worst part was, it was sort of nice to imagine.

Pence was already helping Hayner into his tux again before any of them could respond.

It was much easier getting ready in a timely manner when his friends were there to help one another, and after more uncomfortable but necessary conversation, they were ready to head to the church. It was nearly time for the procession.

Seeing Axel in the parking lot leaning against his beat up car made his heart soar, and he very nearly jogged in a tux to pull him into a rib crushing hug. Axel had changed out of his work clothes and into a suit, which looked very, very good on him.

“I seriously can’t believe you came.” He mumbled into the redhead’s jacket. He heard Axel snort, and felt the man’s hand in his hair.

“You wanted me to come.” He pointed out. “I have to admit I’m sort of afraid to go in there.” He laughed.

“ _ You’re _ afraid.” Hayner’s presence brought Roxas back to earth, and he loosened his grip slightly.

“Ah. The groom.” The redhead’s friendly tone sounded forced. “Not as afraid as you, there’s no contest there.”

Their relationship might take some work.

“I take it everything went well?” This was addressed to Roxas, the redhead’s hand resting between his shoulder blades.

“It’s fine. Everything is fine.” Roxas’ friends were more than welcoming. The hard part would be his parents.

“I had an ulterior motive, waiting out here.” Axel said, smiling sheepishly. “I wanted to talk to Hayner about being here and all. We didn’t really hit it off which was… Partially my bad.” He extended a hand to the blond, who cautiously took it.

“Ah… Yeah I wasn’t great either.” He admitted. “He’s my best friend, I get jealous.” This made the redhead snort.

“Yeah… Me too.” This seemed to surprise Hayner, but Axel was kind enough not to go into detail about why he’d been jealous. “Now that you know I’m not out to steal your friend are we good?” Hayner nodded, giving the redhead’s hand a firm shake.

“We’re good.” Came his affirmation. Axel shifted awkwardly. 

“Now that that’s out of the way… Where exactly should I sit?” After some thought, he added. “Actually, where can I sit that’s as far from Roxas’ parents as humanly possible?” 

Roxas gave his arm a swat. 

“You’ll sit by Xion and like it. My parents will eat you alive but they’ll wait until after the wedding so enjoy your last hour alive.” He was only mostly kidding. He wouldn’t really leave Axel to die.   


“Xion. Got it.” He gave the gang a little salute and Roxas’ hand a little squeeze before proceeding them inside.

“You ready?” Pence asked. Hayner merely nodded.

Just as with the rehearsal, Roxas walked down the aisle with Selphie before taking his place beside his best friend. He could see his fuming mother sitting beside Namine in the pews. When the Bridal march began however, all eyes were on Olette.

She looked happier than Roxas had ever seen her, and probably more beautiful in the lacy white ball gown she wore. He felt an immense amount of pride that after everything they’d gone through for this wedding, it was turning out beautifully. Hayner would deny it later, but he definitely shed a tear or two.

What Roxas thought would be the hardest day of his life wasn’t at all. It was a happy occasion and he was able to feel that during the whole ceremony, from beginning to end. He even got to throw a handful of rice in Hayner’s face, which was cathartic. When the ceremony was over and after the copious hand shakes and meet and greets, he was finally able to catch up with Axel and Xion, who had been chatting quietly in the far corner of the church.

“That was a really nice wedding, Roxas.” Xion commented, pulling him in for a gentle hug. “It was so nice of you to help Olette.”

“This was your doing?” Axel raised a curious brow. 

“Not completely.” Roxas answered modestly. “I would have gone with less roses.” And less candles. What a fire hazard. “Ready to get annihilated at the reception?” His grin was impish.    


“Of course, I’ve always wanted to have my ass kicked at a wedding reception.” The redhead replied. This made Xion laugh, and Axel seemed pleased. 

“Would you two like to ride with me? I feel sort of lame showing up without a date.” Xion said, looking pinker than usual. 

“Aren’t I your date to everything?” Roxas slung an arm around his best friend.

“Look at you, now you have two dates you little player you.” Axel winked, and Xion stood on her tiptoes to give the man a hug and a kiss on the cheek. 

“Roxas’ taste in men has gotten so much better.” She remarked, linking her arm with Roxas’ and following the taller man out to his hunk of junk. 

“Hear that? Xion thinks you have good taste.”Axel sang, to which he received a jab from Roxas’ elbow. 

“She only thinks that because you’re a suck up.” He concluded. 

He felt happy, though. Happy the wedding had gone off without a hitch, happy his boyfriend had come in spite of the peril, and happy that his best friend and his boyfriend got along. Hell, even he and Hayner had been getting along.

That rarely happened. Xion had high expectations for what Roxas should look for in a man. When they entered the reception venue they greeted the happy couple, and Axel received the typical Olette bear hug.

“I’m so glad you could make it.” She told him. “Any friend of Roxas’ is a friend of ours, we just feel so bad that he felt like he had to hide anything from us.” Roxas was the recipient of the next bear hug. Hayner was kind enough to leave it at an awkward pat on the back.

The fact that he didn’t have to lie made him feel giddy in a way Roxas hadn’t felt before.

Taking Axel’s hand, he dragged the lanky man to the dance floor. “I don’t think we’ve ever danced.” He noted. The redhead laughed, pulling him close.

“Not that you remember.” He replied with a sly smile. Roxas scowled.

“Don’t tell me you saw me drunk dance.” Just imagining it was humiliating. There wasn’t a thing he would do differently, but he knew he was by no means suave when he was intoxicated. Axel shrugged.    


“I was also drunk.” He said. “I drunkenly saw you drunk dance. I saw you flopping around like a dying fish and I was in love” Roxas wrapped his arms around the taller man’s neck.

“Let’s make a new memory then. One that doesn’t involve me making an idiot of myself and that my parents can get mad at.” Pulling Axel down, he gave him a brief peck on the lips. He could feel him smile into the kiss, his hands resting on the small of Roxas’ back. If they were being watched, neither of them had any clue. They stayed that way for a while, Axel’s hands on his back, Roxas’ head resting against his shoulder. It felt good, and the best part was that he didn’t have to hide.

That was absolutely invigorating. 

The love in the room was infectious, and Roxas found his hatred of weddings was completely unwarranted.

This happiness only lasted until his parents decided that dancing with someone he loved was just too obscene. His mother hadn’t even given him a moment to adjust to the ambush before she was laying into him.

“How dare you.” She hissed. “After everything I’ve done for you… All the sacrifices I’ve made.” Roxas wanted to ask what sacrifices she was talking about, but she wasn’t done. “You decide to take this… This sick phase… And act out here of all places. The whole town is here, I hope you’re happy. Now they all know your perversions”

Roxas wanted to tell her that his perversions were still between he and Axel, but she looked angry enough as it were.   
  
“It’s not a phase.” Roxas reiterated. “I’ve always been gay.” The word seemed to physically repulse her. He took Axel’s hand and gave it a squeeze, lest he be frightened away. “I believe you’ve met my boyfriend, Axel. He saves lives for a living.” In a corny way he’d saved Roxas, but he’d never say that out loud. At least not here in a fight with his mother.

This was not the subject change she’d been hoping for. 

“Your…” She blinked, and Axel merely offered a smile. He knew all too well that anything more than that would be rejected. “You can’t do that. You can’t bring a man to a wedding, it’s not proper.”

“He’s my date.” Roxas shrugged. “Olette invited him, not me. And considering my wedding will be  _ to _ a man-” He was interrupted with a harsh slap to the face. That caused Axel to go stiff.

“Now wait a minute-” His words fell on deaf ears   


“Your father and I didn’t raise a faggot.” The word dripped from her lips like venom. It stung worse than the slap. “I don’t know what this is, but fix it.” Then she turned her attention to Axel. “And you. I don’t know what you’ve done to my son, but if I ever see your face again I am calling the police.” And with that she stormed off.   
Axel’s jaw was slack with surprise. The moment the intimidating woman was gone, however, he was examining Roxas’ face. 

“You’d think she’d at least not use her ring hand.” He commented, gingerly brushing the red mark with his fingers. “You okay?”

“Stings a little.” Roxas winced, releasing a hiss at the pain. “Don’t worry, she knows she can’t call the police on you, she’s just running out of ideas.” Xion took his hand in hers. 

“That was unfair of her. I don’t care how surprised she is, this is uncalled for.” The petite woman fumed. Roxas just stared at the space his mother had previously occupied. 

“She called me a faggot…” The shock in his voice surprised even him. “I guess because I am…”

It wasn’t something he was ashamed of, but the word was unsavory to say the least. 

“Roxas are you okay?” Olette touched his shoulder with a gentle hand. Hayner was hovering behind her. Namine was on his other side, hand ghosting over his injured cheek.

“Roxas I’m so sorry, I never thought….”

“I’m fine.” He assured her. “Don’t let her ruin this too. This is Hayner and Olette’s day, Olette you worked really hard for it to be this way.”

“But when we planned this wedding we never planned this!” The woman’s eyes were brimming with tears. “Roxas you’re hurt.”

He felt terrible for making Olette cry, reaching out and cupping her cheek. 

“I’m fine, guys, I promise.” He tried to assure them. Axel didn’t seem convinced. He was livid.

“I’d kick her out after a stunt like that.” He muttered, glaring daggers at the table Roxas’ parents shared.

“Considering it.” Hayner said, similarly displeased with the fact that his friend was injured and his new wife was crying.    


“Don’t, she’d only make a scene.” Roxas watched as she regaled the events to his father, who looked exhausted. “Let’s just… Have cake or something.” Anything to change the subject. “We can make fun or how Hayner dances.” 

The somber look on Hayner’s face didn’t change. 

The rest of the reception went by rather normally. Xion threatened to shove cake in his face, Axel actually did, and Roxas ended up with the bouquet flying through the air and landing straight in his lap, much to the chagrin of the bridesmaids.

It was cliche and an all around a great time.

“Roxas.” The blond had to pause the conversation he’d been having with Selphie to address the voice. It unmistakably belonged to his father.

“Roxas you know I’m not proud of this.” He began, and he felt Axel bristle, apparently ready for another fight. “But you’re still my son, and after some thinking there’s nothing that will change that.” The blond sat, stunned, listening to his father. “Your mother has some… Strong feelings… But she loves you too. Give her time.” His face twisted into a strange expression. “We just… Need time.”   
Roxas scoffed.   
  


“Dad, I appreciate it, I really do, but I don’t think time will fix… This.” After a pregnant pause he added, “And I’m not going to change just to get your…. Both of your… Approval.” His father nodded.

“I never expected you to. Just give us time.” He gave Roxas a clap on the back before returning to his seething mother.

If time was what they needed, they’d have plenty. He wasn’t about to change a thing. Leaning against Axel, he sighed. 

“Let’s go home. I’m tired.” He just wanted to tuck into bed with his boyfriend and sleep.

“Yours or mine?” He was already pulling on his jacket.

“Yours.” He decided. Maybe someday in the near future he’d broach the subject of moving in together, but that could wait. After saying goodbye to the rest of the wedding party, they offered Xion a ride home which she gladly took. Once she was safe at her own apartment they went back to Axel’s.

“That was… Something.” The redhead commented, tossing his keys in the bowl by the door. Roxas groaned, wrapping his arms around the taller man’s waist.

“It was terrible and I wouldn’t blame you for getting the hell out of dodge while you have the-” He was interrupted with a kiss, a firm, passionate kiss that turned into more, equally passionate kisses. Roxas made sure to grab Axel by his shirt and hold him there so the kisses wouldn’t stop. Busy hands made light work of stripping off jackets and shirts, though Axel did run into a bit of trouble with Roxas’ bow tie, which had him in fits.

“I hope you never have to wear one of these again.” The redhead grumbled, flinging it across the room. Roxas hummed, hungry hands exploring his bare chest.

“Never again. Only normal ties from now on.” He assured him, pressing light kisses to his collarbone while deft fingers unbuttoned his pants. Their lips found each other, Axel’s tongue all too eager to pry Roxas’ mouth open and tangle it with his own. Roxas felt himself tip backwards, practically tumbling into Axel’s bed as the man rolled a nipple between his fingertips, making the blond arch into the touch.

His whole body was tingling from the kisses and touches, and he was hungry for more, fingers clawing at Axel’s back and legs wrapping around his waist. The redhead’s hot mouth moved downward, leaving warm wet kisses along his collarbone and down his chest.

The blond buried his hands in his boyfriend’s hair, writhing and moaning at the feeling.

“I love you.” He groaned. “I really love you.” He could feel the warm air of Axel’s laughter on his damp, kiss marked chest. Pulling back, the redhead just looked at him for a moment with the most tender gaze.

“I really love you too.” He replied, placing another sizzling kiss to his lips. His hand slipped beneath Roxas’ boxers, gripping his erection and stroking it with a gentle sort of ease that had him writhing again. With a sinister look on his face, he slid downward and took his already leaking cock into his mouth.

“Ax- Axel…” He gasped, fingers scrambling to take hold of something, anything. The mixture of the heat and suction and Axel’s tongue was almost too much, and it took every ounce of willpower Roxas had not to come on the spot. The semi disastrous night was all but forgotten with the burn of his impending orgasm.

“S-stop-” He gasped, roughly yanking the redhead away. “I don’t… I don’t want to come yet so just fuck me already!”

Axel laughed, coating his fingers with lube.

“You’re so bossy.” He clicked his tongue, slipping one finger, then two into Roxas’ entrance.

“You love it.” The blond replied breathlessly. Axel beamed.

“So much.” He said, and Roxas thought his heart would explode. The redhead busied himself with sucking harshly on the junction between Roxas’ neck and shoulder, seemingly determined to leave a decent hickey, until he was satisfied that the blond was stretched enough. For a moment he just nuzzled his nose into the crook of Roxas’ neck tenderly before finally pushing in, causing the blond to groan.

“Move. I’m fine just…” He bossed yet again, but Axel obeyed, gently at first before pounding at a steady rhythm. It seemed like the whole time Roxas was seeing stars, as if the redhead was absolutely against the idea of taking it slow. Nearly every thrust hit his prostate, causing him to moan and squirm and gasp Axel’s name. He imagined his nails were probably doing a number on the man’s back, but he didn’t seem to notice, kissing Roxas’ face and lips and jaw. Whispering sweet nothings and exploring with warm hands.

It was fast, Roxas thought he’d come far too early until Axel followed soon after, but it was more than satisfying. Cradled against Axel’s chest, Roxas sighed and basked in the afterglow.

“You’re not going anywhere, I hope you know that.” He informed the taller man. Axel just laughed.

“Nothing could drag me away.” He assured the blond, and he believed him.

He fell asleep in Axel’s arms, sticky and satisfied, starting to think that maybe, just maybe, he would spend the rest of his life with this person.

Oh how angry his mother would be. But then, if he did spend the rest of his life with Axel, he wasn’t sure he’d invite his parents. He loved the redhead too much to do something like that to him.

* * *

**One more chapter! One more chapter! One more chapter and Vanilla is over.**


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